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Right Down The Middle


Jan 1, 2000
(CUT TO: "The New Original" JJ DeVille, wearing a sleeveless ref's shirt, his hair pulled back, wearing Buddy Holly glasses. He's standing in front of a door reading VIDEO ROOM. He's got a giant smile on his face.)

JJ: Say It Ain't So. (Pause.)

A couple of nights ago, I walked into an arena angry. I spent the past few years degrading myself, putting myself down for the benefit of a few cheap laughs at my expense, for the benefit of trying to have anyone in this industry notice me, for the benefit of helping Playboys Inc. And all along, when I was busy washing windows, getting tossed into the third row, winning title matches via lawsuits... I knew what I was doing was wrong. I knew I was humiliating myself for no real reason other than to make sure I continued to recieve a paycheck here in the CSWA. I was putting myself down to make sure each and every single one of you knew my name.

"Hey! This is the dork with the nunchucks! The kid who avoids the noid!"

Well, you all got my name. You all laughed at me and mocked me. And then, I woke up one day and realized what I was doing. JJ DeVille-- the kid who didn't get to go to the prom. JJ DeVille-- the kid who always had his lunch money taken from him. JJ DeVille-- the kid willing to wear a fringed belly shirt on national TV while he washes Eddy Love's Italian marble floors, while he cleans up after Troy Windham's latest pantie raid. I woke up and realized that I did not want to be known for that anymore. I wanted to be known as something else...

As a man. A man you respect.

First step, I call up my old mentor and ask him if he wants another go 'round. He comes in and the good guys win. Troy beats the guys who abused his sister on national TV. JJ DeVille musters up the courage to, finally, compete with the big boys.

Next show, Troy doesn't fly to the card. I go against two men, two veterans, give one hundred and ten percent, only to lose. I got dumped on my head because Troy Windham put his own interests above those of his partner.

Next show, I walked into the arena hoping just to talk things out with Troy, get him to see how much he hurt me, again, by putting me down. I end up in the main event... this time, a REAL main event.

And, in front of the entire world, I go toe-to-toe with a former World Champion. I go toe-to-toe against a man who is a hall of famer, a man who has sold out arenas nationwide. I go toe-to-toe against the man who took advantage of my eagerness... but also took me under his wing. My old boss. We end up going twenty minutes, the pressure mounting more and more. Growing up in Greensboro, I always imagined what it would be like with the crowd chanting your name, you sucking air, millions around the world watching...

And now I know what it's like. And I realized... I DESERVED THIS. ALL OF THIS. I dug down to a part of me I didn't even know I had. And I somehow ended up reversing a SlackKnife and pinning Troy Windham's shoulders to the mat. Somehow, JJ DeVille beat one of the true legends of this sport, beating a man in a match that left the world talking, the Internet abuzz. The crowd goes crazy. I can't believe it. And then, then everyone starts to sing.

Say It Ain't So.

How do you top that? How do you top stealing the show? How do you top beating... TROY WINDHAM. How do you top wrestling in a match a lot of experts are calling one of the CSWA's all-time greatest?

It's simple. You don't.

All I know, I'm going to be reffing a match at Primetime. Putting on the ref shirt.

Cameron Cruise? Steel Viper? I don't care much about either of you. One's a big musclehead, the type to toss a towel in my face in the locker room. The other is a lesson for how I DON'T want my career to turn out.

Eddie Mayfield? (Big grin.) Our esteemed president? The man who thinks I'm out to screw him? Yo, prez... let me bite off my old boss, Troy, a man you could NEVER beat.

Stop sweatin' me, man.

I'm out here to ref the match and ref the match only. I've been in the room, watching how Troutman, Young, Heprin and everyone does it. And... I've been watching the three of you, figuring out where I have to be and when I have to be there.

If any of you act as if I don't belong in that ring with you... if any of you push me around or chump me... I'm going to leave the entire world stunned again. I'm going to have them singing the same sweet song they sang after On Time.


And they'll be singing it because, once again... The New Original stole the show. (FTB)

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