'Bout damn time!
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Mar-11-03 AT 05:55 PM (EST)](FADE IN to Boogie Smallz seated on a stool in front of a GXW X-perience backdrop. As always, Boogie is smoking a blunt and seems to have a lot to say.)
BOOGIE SMALLZ: For the past month or so, all I have done is sit on the sidelines and watch. I’ve watched someone else walk around flossin’ my TV title. I look on and watch someone in tha King of tha Cage tournament take my spot and then act as if tha match never happened…when he damn well know he was this close (Holds up fingers with a small gap between them.) from havin’ me end his futhamuckin’ career! (Puffs his blunt.) I’m tired of ridin’ tha pine while talentless hacks get TV time I should be coppin’! Well I’m comin’ off tha bench and not only that, but I’m back to tha spot tailor-made for me…tha Main Event! GX-Dub saw what I did for Onslaught…how I turned it around from a show on tha brink of bein’ cancelled…into tha premiere show in GXW. And they want me to work my magic once again and try to make X-perience THA program to showcase their talent.
So while I haven’t been on Onslaught for a few months, the producers of tha show have been scramblin’ to try and get it on track. But it won’t ever happen. As long as Tommy Rage and his hoe-ass crew is on therre…Onslaught will remain in tha isher! You can try to get a “Ratings Boost”…but tha only ratings getting’ boosted when those boys hit tha screen is every other channel EXCEPT for tha one GXW is on.
But I’ve moved on from that. I came out herre last week and said to hell with it and called out tha World champion Zero. And you know what he said? Nuthin’. Tha mofo didn’t even acknowledge my existence. I said give me a shot and tha only thang I heard was crickets chirpin’. But that’s alright, because I threw out another challenge…maybe I can get a shot at tha Continental title. But I didn’t hear nuthin’ from Sampson…which led me to believe that his punk-ass didn’t want none. So this Douglas cat tries to holla’ at a playa and turn tha match he signed with some assjack into a triangle match. (Puffs his blunt.) Hey, whatever…I’m just tryin’ to get a kcufin’ match. When tha deal is just about finalized…guess who decides to FINALLY show his face and speak up? Takin’ his sweet f’n time to accept a challenge…tha soon-to-be “Mr. Dark Match”…Rob Sampson!
(Boogie puffs his blunt and ponders a thought for a moment, as smoke slowly rolls out of his mouth.)
Sampson, I’m not gonna do you like I do most of my opponents, because for all you’ve done in this sport…I’ve got a lil’ respect for ya’. But don’t get into thinkin’ that Boogeezey is a pushover or that you took this match out of pity, because you and most of tha locker room knows that I deserve it! Who else would you defend your belt against? Kendall Codine for tha 10th time this month? No? How about you hide yourself in a tag match with somebody…so you don’t have to take tha fall. Or better yet…just have a four-way match and have erryone else mess each other up…then you can come in and get your cheap victory.
Sampson…I know your M.O….you ain’t foolin’ nobody. (Puffs his blunt.) Let me guess…this is a different Rob Sampson…you’re all about tha people now? Yeah right…try to sell that crap to someone who will believe it. I ain’t no chump…been around tha biz for a while now…I know how ish goes. It all boils down to money…and as soon as your t-shirts stop sellin’…you dump tha fans and go back to bein’ all about yo’self!
Maybe I can help you along and speed up tha process. ‘Cuz as soon as I get tha Continental strap…no one will care about Rob Sampson. No one will buy tha shirts, no one will want tha posters, and especially that lame-ass action figure you got. It doesn’t come with tha smokin’ bong…like mine. (Grins.) No, no one will give a damn about Rob Sampson anymore. Because now they got a man that keeps it real, now they got a man that don’t take ish from nobody, and now they got a man that will carry GXW to places it couldn’t go…because no one could carry tha ball to get it done! If ya’ ain’t figured it out, whoadie…I’m talkin’ about ME! The NEXT GXW Continental champion…big baby. Tha B To Tha Z…and ya best to recognize, beeyatch!
(FADE TO BLACK)