Round 1: Sexy Adorable Drunks vs Simply Beautiful & Big Bad Brian Bruno

[Linguistic]

Round 1: Thomas Deathrow & Rex Caliber vs Simply Beautiful & Big Bad Brian Bruno

Round 1.

Deadline: December 2, 2006 by midnight Central time.

2 RP Limit.

 

[nexusone]

(The scene is a fancy sports bar. It’s located in Edmonton, Alberta. The bar has many flat screen televisions. The televisions show sports of all kinds, including the regional wrestling promotion: New Alberta Pro. The walls are covered with sports memorabilia. In the middle is a picture of a bald, well built man, holding the NAPW Heavyweight Gold. That man is Rex Caliber. The camera scans the bar and focuses in on Rex, who is behind the bar.)

REX: Whoa… This is new. I haven’t been on camera talking about a match… in several months. But the rumors are true.The "Nexus One" is coming back to the ring. Not in NAPW, but in MCW. What would cause something like this to happen. How could the "Two hundred and forty five pound ****hammer of Destruction", come out of retirement? Who could get the "Rexcellence of Rexecution" back in the ring?

(Rex pours a shot of Johnny Walker Blue Label scotch. He drinks it and smiles.)

REX: You see I’ve had an itch to kick some ass for sometime now. Now when opportunity knocks on Rex Caliber’s door… by God, I let it in and get a drink for it. Now the bar was closed one night. After my bartenders and bouncers leave, after the cooks and the clean up guys exit.. I was behind the bar like I am now. Then a man who holds a victory over me, he knocked on my door. I let him in, as he is a frequent customer and a respected wrestler. I tell him we are closed, and he tells me that’s not his problem tonight. He needs a partner for this big tournament. He needs a man he knows is just as Sexy, just as Adorable and can be just as Drunk as him. I look around and I ask him where’s the K to the K to the P. He tells me that information is none of my business, and not to worry about Krusty Kid Paul. He talks of big time money, getting in some big time matches, and getting big time drunk.

(Rex pours another shot of liquor… quickly drinking it. Rex smiles again then moves from behind the bar. The camera follows him.)

REX: That gave me a chance to scratch this three month itch. I agree to the team. Nothing is more sacred to me in this busines than good tag team wrestling. Hell go look at my tag stint in NAPW. In straight up tag matches… Never been beat. Won the NAPW tag titles, and although we lost them… the chances of losing in a three team ladder match is very high. Now the chance to tag with a tag team expert of over seven years. The Superstar has his faults. He drinks too much. He likes having sex with strange people and occasionally a creature…. So I’ve heard. But when it comes to wrestling, he puts his all into every damn match. No quit, no surrender and damn sure no retreat. Tommy Deathrow is human… but only in scientific terms. I want to be there first hand to see his autopsy performed. The man is a marvel, dare I say miracle that modern medicine cannot explain.

(Rex looks at the camera with a strange expression. He looks like he is disturbed by something.)

REX: I know what’s going on in everyone’s head. STD can’t be trusted. Why doesn’t his regular partner want to show up for this tourney? Why risk it?

(Rex expression changes to a look of understanding.)

REX: Yeah I know, it’s not like I don’t think about **** too. Yeah… maybe it is strange to take me into a tourney. Then I realized that "why me" is not the real question, but rather "why not"? If you are going into an unpredictable chaotic situation… who better than Rex Caliber to cover you. The man, the LEGEND who is known the world over. Those prove it.

(Rex points to a plaque on the wall that reads: MEMBER OF THE NAPW RING OF HONOR. Then he points the trophy case that showcases his 2006 Canada Cup trophy.)

REX: No one remembers win-loss records. No one remembers you, if you don’t win championships. Gold, the bling, the hardware, that is what makes you a legend. Rest assured that my ego isn’t satisfied. This isn’t about the fans. This isn’t about anything other than me winning. I’ve got my son taken care of financially for the rest of his life. I left a good mark on this business. But when fate gives you another chance to go out there, do what you love… Rex Caliber isn’t looking for a "wham bam thank you ma’am". I’m looking for more bling, more honors, more things to further cement my place among the elite.

(Rex walks away from the wall with his trophies and plaques. He takes a seat at a table. He pulls a cigar from a very nice case laying there and fires it up with a zippo lighter from his pocket.)

REX: Enough about me and my partner of Superstar status. Our opponents are going after the same thing we are. Brian Bruno came into this bar a month ago, and he was distraught. He too turned to me and asked me to be his partner. I’m allowed to wrestle in the NAPW… but I gave him my pal Mr. Canada instead. They won, and he has me to partially thank. He has done quite a bit in his young career. But he has some issues. The injuries from a career on the gridiron has plagued him. This fine athlete is wrestling every week, further testing the limits of his knees. I on the other hand.. I’m in the best shape of MY LIFE. No pain here and no rust either. I train guys from time to time, help out some younger stars hoping to big like me. I got a lot of positves on my side of the fence. Brian you are a good guy, a man who deserves that big time achievement. That brass ring is nearly in grasp. But damn the road block in front of you… IT’S DOWN RIGHT UNMOVABLE.

(Rex puffs away on the cigar. He flicks some ashes off of it.)

REX: Bruno isn’t alone, and he brings Mister Pure Honor with him. The hottest man in the NAPW: Simply Beautiful! This guy is good. He learned tonight though, that legends of the NAPW… they are hard to beat. He lost his precious Pure Honor Championship to a man who is also part of the NAPW Ring Of Honor. Simply Beautiful… this is the big time. You better be prepared to go all out. You have to come out and show the world that you are ready to hit the big time. Of the two of you… “SB”… you have done more, and right now you on the brink of superstardom. You two guys NEED to win. You need to get that stigma that you are for real. Beating Rex Caliber and Superstar Tommy Deathrow will be just the thing to get uncle mo back on your side. You could springboard into being the biggest stars in wrestling, with a win over Rex and Tommy. And hell one day maybe Elvis and Tupac could headline a stadium tour, explaining that it was all a hoax. The fact is that they won’t. The fact is that your chance of winning is about the same as said tour occurring. Now no disrespect, and I wish you all the luck in other ventures, but you got to call a spade a damn spade. You guys are out of your league. This is me and Tommy’s specialty. Two great tag team wrestlers will always be better than two decent singles wrestlers, PERIOD. After the show you guys can come here and have a drink on the house… that’s the least I can do after dismantling your hopes at winning the MCW Invitational, because those hopes are going up in a cloud of SMOKE!

(Rex blows a huge breath of smoke into the camera as the scene fades.)

 

[Bruno N' Beauty]

RP#1.....or.....The Not-So-Serious One.

OOC Note: Neither SB nor Bruno have seen Rex Caliber's promo yet, as they are still on their way to Los Angeles via airplane. In fact, they aren't even sure who their opponents are, because SB forgot to check before they left.

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The scene opens up and we see Brian Bruno and Simply Beautiful crammed rather uncomfortably into the airplane seats. They're taxiing at the moment, waiting for their turn on the runway.

Bruno: Why are we on such a cheap flight? And what the hell is Disco Air?

SB: It was either the nice flight or the nice hotel! What the hell did you expect me to do, trade a whole week in that luxorious hotel for a few hours of comfortable flight?

SB looks legitmately offended by his partners complaints.

SB: And Disco Air has been around for years!

Bruno: That's nice. When are they gonna stop blasting the soundtrack for Saturday Night Fever?

SB: About the time they START playing the soundtrack for Staying Alive! So sit back and enjoy your bell-bottom wearing stewardesses and the mega-huge disco ball that they just so happened to put right in front of us.

Bruno: I don't see a mega-hu -

At this precise moment, a HUGE disco ball drops down and hits Bruno square on top of the head.

Bruno: The HELL? Who did that?!?

Off-Screen: Sorry buddy! (disco ball raises up, and hovers just above Bruno's head. He looks irate, but SB can't help but to laugh.)

SB: See it yet?

Bruno doesn't say a word, just glares at his "best friend."

Bruno: You suck. I'm goin' to sleep.

SB: How the hell do you expect to sleep when they're playin' "You Should Be Dancing"?

Bruno: I swear to God, if you start singing....

SB: ( singing in a HORRIBLE Bee-Gees impersonation voice...seriously, Maurice is turning over in his grave) WATCHU DOIN' ON YA BACK? WATCHU DOIN' ON YOUR BACK?

Bruno: Stop.

SB: YOU SHOULD BE DANCIN'! YEEAAAHHH!

Bruno: Oh my God, we're in public, stop!

Bruno starts fumbling around with his hands, because he's embarrassed, and becuase he's desperately trying not to clobber SB with them.

And SB? He's SINGIN', BABY!

SB: SHE's JUICY AND SHE'S TROUBLE, SHE -

A stewardess, who just walked - actually, rollerskated- over, taps him on the shoulder right as he's hitting a big note.

Stewardess: Suga, can you keep it down please? The other passengers are complaining.

SB: But -

Bruno: No problem ma'am, he'll keep his big mouth shut.

Stewardess: Thank you, suga. (winks, and rollerskates away)

Bruno: Happy now? The whole damn plane hates us!

SB: No they don't, they just don't appreciate talent when they hear it!

Bruno: (beyond annoyed) Why are you yelling? And since when do you even like disco?

BING BONG BING.

PA Voice: This is yo' cap'n speakin', playas and playettes.

Bruno: Oh HELL no.

SB: What are you, a racist?

Bruno: I'm BLACK you idiot!

SB: WHAT? NO WAY!

Bruno: I hate you.

PA Voice: We jussa bout' to groove on up outta here, so if y'all can fasten up then we'll take off n' y'all can just chill out, busta move, pop a few corks, whateva's happen'n back there, just have a good time. Peace n' love, yo' cap'n!

Bruno: Who the **** is flyin' this plane? Shaft?

SB: Are you trying to say that Disco Air is unreliable?

Bruno: (brief pause) Are you insane?

At this exact moment, the plane kicks into high gear, and drowns out the audio. We can't hear him, but it doesn't take a great lip-reader to figure out what Bruno is saying. Something that ends in "other****er."

We cut away to a shot, from the ground, of a plane taking off into the sky. We can tell that this is obviously not the plane that SB and Bruno are on, partly because there would be no one to shoot that, and partly because it's very easy to spot the Shagadellic Purple N' Pink plane that the two are heading to the MCW tag team tournament in.

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The next shot is of the plane landing. Again, it isn't the plane they're actually on. You think SB would dole out the extra cash to have a camera crew waiting in LA?

Meanwhile, back inside....

SB: (extreme close-up) WOO! CITY OF ANGELS, BABY!

Bruno hasn't slept a wink, and you can tell just by the look on his face he's about to go ape.

Bruno: I'm gonna kill everyone outside. Call Emily and tell her I'll see her in twenty-five to life.

SB: Snap out of it, party-pooper! We're here!

Bruno: OK, let's get up and grab our bags so we don't get stuck waiting behind everyone.

They get up, and SB pops open the overhead storage bin.

And dives out of the way before an AVALANCHE of luggage topples all over Brian.

Bruno (from under the pile): THAT'S IT!

SB: (nonchalantly) Calm down, it's just some luggage. Hey look! My bag!

SB picks up his bag, which just so happens to be on top of Bruno's head. Bruno gets up, picks up his own bag, and looks about ready to paint the whole damn plane red.

Bruno: Turn around, and get the hell off the plane.

SB: OK, OK. What a buzzkill.

They walk off, and at the exit, the stewardess from earlier is handing out giant afro wigs to all the departing passengers. SB gladly takes one, and puts it on.

SB: Thanks, dollface! (walks out)

Stewardess (to Bruno): Would you like one too, suga?

Bruno: (without even a slight hint of emotion) Do I look like I want a ****in' afro?

Stewardess: Uhhh...yeah.

SB (off camera): TAKE ONE AND GO BRI, THE RENTAL'S HERE!

Bruno: Just gimme the damn thing.

The stewardess hands him the afro, and he puts it on, begrudingly.

Stewardess: Have a good day, suga!

Bruno: You too, (under his breath) psycho.

After some walking through the airport, and SB annoyingly pointing out every single chain storealong the way and suggesting they eat at Chili's, they get to their rental car.

Bruno: Now this is what I'm talkin' about. Brand new Altima, hell of a car!

SB: SB always travels in style, Bri. You should know that by now!

Bruno stares at him, and wonders if his friend is honestly as crazy as he seems.

Bruno: Yeah, you're right.

The two get in the car and head off to their hotel as the scene fades out.

 

[Bruno N' Beauty]

RP#2.....or.....not-so serious one number two (hey I had fun)

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Fade in to Brian Bruno sitting in the HUGE hotel room that SB booked for their stay. It has separate bedrooms, each with a king sized bed, a marble-tiled bathroom with a walk in shower (too bad Em isn’t here, Bruno thought). A Persian rug covers the hardwood floors, and the kitchen would make Emerill Lagasse queasy. All that’s missing is…Bruno’s tag team partner, Simply Beautiful.

Bruno: He went to get ice like, five hours ago. Where HELL is he?

Cut to SB, walking in through the massive front doors of the lobby, damn near skipping along. He’s wearing an NAPW t-shirt, with a Mickey Mouse ears hat to go with jeans and sneakers. Wait…something’s not right with this picture. And it isn’t the fact that sexy women aren’t crowding all around the former two-time GWF World Champion (though that is quite odd). Perhaps it's the head gear?

Cut back to Bruno, who’s head first in the fridge, rummaging through it and tossing out **** that he doesn’t wanna eat (Toblerone? Not for six bucks, thank you!) Finally, he finds something worthwhile; a nice, juicy orange. Bruno has a soft spot for fruit, especially citrus. Who doesn’t like oranges? Better yet, who’s gonna tell two hundred and seventy-one pounds of agile anger that he shouldn’t?

Bruno (biting into the orange): I’ma break my foot off in his ass when he gets here.

Cut back to SB, who’s still in the lobby, with a giant bag of popcorn. He eats a big handful, and starts on his merry way back to the elevator. Once he gets on, he’s greeted by a young couple. Seeing his hat, the young man, who couldn’t be any older than twenty-two, laughs. And then his girlfriend, who looks even younger than he does (jailbait alert!) starts laughing, too.

Man: Nice hat.

SB (without looking, and without any sincerity): Thanks.

Man: Aren’t you a little old to wear a Mickey Mouse hat?

SB hears this, but pretends not to. Now he gets it.

SB: I’m sorry? (leans in closer)

Man: You deaf, mister? I said aren’t you a little-OOF!

SB: (rubbing his wrist and smirking) Aren’t you a little old to get knocked out with one punch, sunshine? (looking at the girl, who’s horrified) Sorry, I’m taken. (flashes his engagement ring)

DING!

SB: Ah look! My floor! Later tootse!

The doors open, and SB gets off.

He heads down the hallway, and starts singing AGAIN….Jesus. It’s a Small World.

SB: THERE IS JUST ONE MOON AND ONE GOLDEN SUN!

Off-screen: And a smile means friendship to everyone!

SB: (pauses, confused) What the hell? (starts at it again, in Italian now)

SB: È Un PICCOLO MONDO, Dopo tutto, È Un PICCOLO MONDO DOPO TUTTI!

And he’s not alone!

Several O/S voices together: ES Ist Eine KLEINE WELT, Schlie ßlich Ist ES Eine KLEINE WELT NACH ALLEN!

SB smiles and starts to clap his hands together. Suddenly, the sound of clapping has taken up the whole damn hallway. Mother of God…

SB (with what sounds like the entire HOTEL, singing and clapping along:
C'EST Un PETIT MONDE Après tout, Que C'EST Un PETIT MONDE Après tout, IL Est Un PETIT, PETIT, MONDE!!!

The singing finally stops, and everyone goes about their normal lives as SB slides his key in the door and in.

Right into the aforementioned Two Hundred and Seventy-One pounds of Agile Anger that is Brian Bruno.

Bruno: What-What the hell was that singing? Wait, never mind that – where the **** have you been? And why are you dressed like Mickey Mouse?

SB just shrugs.

SB: Would you have come with me to Disney Land? Nooooo…so I snuck out and went myself!

Bruno: Are you serious?

SB: Yea. I’ve only been to Disney World, never Disney Land!

Bruno (about to explode): Man, you’re supposed to wait till AFTER you win something to go to Disney Land! You just jinxed the whole thing!

SB shrugs again, and waves him off.

SB: Did not. Just relax man, this is gonna be a breeze. Did you find out who we have in the first round yet?

Bruno: Well, it was supposed to be the SAD.

SB jumps onto the couch headfirst, obviously not paying attention.

Bruno: I’m talkin’ to you, asshole.

SB: Go on.

Bruno: Like I said, it was scheduled to be Tommy Deathrow and Krusty Kid Paul.

SB (eating what’s left of his giant bag of popcorn): And?

Bruno: But KKP had to back out.

SB: So we win by forfeit? ****! Does that mean we have to like fly somewhere else for round two! What a waste of my money, call my agent! Call your agent! Call the POLICE!

Bruno (calmly): The whole tournament is in LA. Shut up for a second?

SB: Mmkay.

Bruno: Deathrow found a replacement.

SB: Who? Kryenik?

Bruno: No.

SB: Dumpster Droese?

Bruno: Why would you go from a logical guess like Kryenik to one like Droese? Are
you that mentally unstable that you can’t even be serious for like 5 consecutive –

SB: Who’s his partner?

Bruno: - I hope you die. (pause) Rex Caliber.

SB: …and?

Bruno: He’s a legend.

SB: …and?

Bruno: He’s been the NAPW Champion twice.

SB: So has Lloyd Rees. (looks into the camera) Hey Lloyd!

Bruno glares at him.

SB (sighs very loudly): Alright, I’ll be serious.

Bruno: So we have to deal with a living legend in the ring. Shouldn’t be a problem, right?

SB: Well, I really doubt Tommy is gonna string together the cash to get all the way to Los Angeles, so we could be looking at a handicap match. But even if he does come…what have you done for me lately, Rex?

Bruno: He got me a tag partner at Anniversary Assault.

SB: That was SO Rex! Just admit it! It was either Rex or Hulk Hogan, I know it!

(OOC note: Bruno’s mystery partner at the event was “Mr. Canada”, a masked wrestler believed to be Rex Caliber in disguiuse)

Bruno: It wasn’t!

SB: Whatever. The fact is, the last time Rex was on NAPW TV, he tapped out. To a man I beat. So, as DX pointed out –

Bruno: Don’t take their ****, man. They get snippy.

SB: …OK? So, anyway, yeah. Rex won’t be a problem. And Tommy is gonna be in shreds after Tuesday Night Fights. Krenshov’s gonna kill em’.

Bruno: Alright man, let’s just do this. And take that ****in’ hat off, ya look like a damn fool!

Bruno snatches the hat off of SB’s head, and fade out.

 

[ThomasDeathrow]

What It Be

*open sesame*
We find ourselves staring into a large Television that shows nothing but a bright blue screen. We begin to look around the room to see what we are viewing. But alas there is not a sole in the room. All we see is a black robe hanging from a hanger in the closet. Then we hear a noise that sounds a bit like running water. And we begin to move through the room towards the far side. As we move the sound of water stops and all is silent once again. But then we catch a dim light coming from under a door on the left wall so we continue to move along our path to the far wall and eventually we reach the door from which the light is protruding under. Suddenly the door swings open and we see the reason we are in this room. There standing in the bath room wearing nothing. His hair is slicked back as it has been just washed and it is still dripping slightly. For a moment there is silence and a few drops of water fall to the floor.

Then Deathrow moves past and heads back into the direction of the main room of the House, the same room where we just saw the Robe, big TV. As Tommy moves he looks back and makes a motion for us to follow, and right on cue we fall in toe and move back into the main room. Tommy makes his way to the closet where he pulls a video tape from his pocket. He just stares blankly at it for what seems like an eternity, before he shakes his head and lets out a sigh that says “**** it, I came this far, lets do this” He then begins to nod and he moves over towards the Television. He takes one last look at the tape and then crouches down and slides the tape into the black VCR. As the tape slides in we hear it power up, and the white on screen display pops up. Tommy then stands back up and grabs the remote from the top of the pile wood stand and takes a couple of steps backwards. He turns and stares at us with a smile and motions for us to move and get a better view of the TV. He then drops down onto the leather easy chair in front of the TV and puts his feet up on the wood coffee table. Moans are herd coming from the TV screen an the camera cuts out.

*Cameras open up with the view of a Set of ass cheeks. Mouth watering at that. A Fierce giggle is herd followed buy a leap of ****ish an glee. Figure cartwheels over to a love seat an rewinds the words of his partner on TV. The Sexy Sexist Rex Caliber. Watching on in a drunken glare. Tommy grabs a flask from under his seat an sips on like there is no tomorrow. Fast forward or Rewind. Where are we??*



STD- There now that I relieved myself of some stress, **** *****es what? Sometimes Rex Caliber is like a porno to me. No matter what he’s saying or doing. It’s always money shot time.

(Thomas plays back Rex’s words on the TV mumbling back the questions asking himself is it so. Why would Rex accept such a task)

STD- Hello all, yes it is me. The true Sex Icon of the New Alberta Pro an everywhere else I might add. Yea others have tried to take the name. But a gimmick can only carry you so far right? **** I have been in this game since most of you were nothing more than a nut stain in your mamas drawer. We all know that is true. Check the socks. Ohhhh Krusty aren’t they? Much like my partner that some are familiar with! The KKP. Yes it is true. He an I are not together for this tourney.

-Scary ***** scream herd in the background-

STD- Duct tape her mouth… Errrrm ahh yesss. Krusty is over in Somalia helping those HIV stricken children an also, helping the Red Cross people. Dude has the heart that is nothing more than the size of a bull. Heart I remind you. An when in doubt who else to call but your best drinking buddy that’s to most likely answer his phone.
-STD takes a massive drink from the flask-

STD-”Out Loud” “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” ohhfff Gotta love the gin whiskers. “Muffled voice” Right so like I was saying KKP is doing Charity work. But who gives a ****. Rex an I are here for this tag tourney to win the mother ****er hands down. One bad thing is that we have to eliminate a NAPW tag team right away. Poor saps will never see it coming! Christ sakes we got a washed up footballer an a Man that thinks he is better looking than both Rex or I? Oh for **** sakes. Christ man are you Ray Charles or something? Once Rex or I stick the massive HSS “Hot Sexual Stick” down your throat with your blindness. We’ll have no choice other than to call you Helen Keller…

-STD looks around talking out of the side of his mouth. “Why do Simply Beautiful an Bruno have holes in the side of there faces?”

STD- **** man I don’t know. Why? “Small Pause but answers himself” Cause they tried messing with Rex an the Superstar.

-STD high fives the air yelling Magic ninja what?” No one to respond”….. Burn that’s what!!!!

STD- Well anyways whoo. How’d this team come together? Other than Krusto being in ahh Antarctica clubbing seals. Wait helping HIV kids. Well doing something an spending time behind bars. Well Living over there by the park at the Sad HQ I staggered my way down the street. An saw that sign that read Nude Females. Well with my luck an at drinking at all the other skuzzy bars the time had passed. Wondering down the alleys spitting on the homeless an waisting time by doing such other fun things. I ended up there at the flashy Pink an Purple lights reading “Rexist Sexist Bar“ or something like that! Knowing I wasn’t a male shovinest. Just sometimes wanna strangle *****es. I walked in there. An wouldn’t you know it. There was the one an only Rex Caliber. The shiniest bald head mother ****er I know this side of the country.
-Takes some chugs from his flask-

STD- SO anyways I got to telling Rex the story about this MCW tag event. Rex looked on an was glad that I was In so many words saying. “Yo mofo I need a tag partner an I need him now. **** man you also owe me, ya know!?”

-Rewind on the TV*REX*:The Superstar has his faults. He drinks too much. He likes having sex with strange people and occasionally a creature! So I’ve heard. But when it comes to wrestling, he puts his all into every damn match. No quit, no surrender and damn sure no retreat. Tommy Deathrow is human! but only in scientific terms. I want to be there first hand to see his autopsy performed. The man is a marvel, dare I say miracle that modern medicine cannot explain.

*Deathrow reaches behinds the chair revealing what looks like nothing more than some cheap ass generic rolled smokes. Striking a match to his left nipple he lights it up. Inhaling deeply an exhaling happily*

STD- Ohh that takes me back. At first I was overly worried about this match here. Thinking it’s like family facing family. Considering were all NAPW here. But than I realized its more than that. NAPW is only our first round opponents. **** that. Looks who is here repping the New Alberta Pro with us? Yeah cough cough thought so… Most of you are asking why would such a sex god as Rex come out of retirement to team with a man like you Thomas?…. Duh I’m just that damn good. Rex knows we can win this tourney hands down an that’s just what we are here to do. WIN… Show what legends are made of. An give these rookies a cream filled taste. Rex an me go back a little ways, least far back to know what we both can an will do in the ring. Why were here together nothing more than respect for the game an for one another. He’s got my back an I got his. Straight up…

-Few more drags off the smoke an pulls from the flask an Deathrow reclines back in the seat listening to the crazy tunes of MOBY blare threw a small radio system-

STD- Rex far as drinking to much goes? Come on now is that really possible as long as you wake up some time still alive? **** no. **** like we both don’t know that by now man. An what sex with strange people? Yeah Bruno’s mom ass felt like oatmeal but who cares, **** was lumpy I liked it. Ever seen a girl take a bowling pin. Right, right, right. Call me…. An the beast. Who cares they put out to. Chimps are mad crazy never play hide the banana.. You end that story alone.

*Deathrows eyes are open wide as he sips a lil more an puts the smoke out in the table next to him. He takes a deep breath an speaks*
STD- Everyone knows when the Superstar mother ****ing Thomas god damn Deathrow steps down to the ring with the music blaring he puts he god damn life at risk every time. Look at me I’m a pimp. I do what I can when I can. No matter what the situation. Do my best. I can be trusted as I have proven before man. Don’t cock block me an I will not cock block you. Straight up brothers here. **** who would not like to see Rex do his son one more proud money wise. Let him tell the story how his dad won the MCW tag tourney with that man that others wanna be gay for . Sexy, Tempting an Delightful. Sir Thomas Deathrow. **** that’s me. SB an four, five or six B’s you two are really great. An its gonna be sad to see your blood shed over a Deathrow driver an a one, two, three. Maybe Rex will take it easy an pin with the Total Annihilation. All I can say is it was nice to face you men here in the ring an do not give up on your hopes an dreams but….. Stay proud.
*Deathrow stands up stretching his nakedness. He looks at his wrist despite not having a watch there. He places his wrist down between his knees an nods*
STD- See that kids. It’s half past the monkeys ass an a quarter to his balls. Which would mean I got a flight to catch. We all know what this means. “Tommy does a small dance” I'm going going, back back, to Cali Cali.

*Tommy looks forward at a fire pole that is so nicely placed in the SAD HQ. Re makes a run at it an jumps aboard an makes the slide down. When we catch up with him he’s standing in the kitchens fully dressed pouring himself a stiff one.*

STD- Times getting close. Next time you all see me. I’ll probably have a new rash an bumps in a new spot. Along with some discharge I can’t explain. All I really do know is Bruno an SB get ready for the fight of your lives. Because the two sexiest drunkest mother ****ers are about to take over like a storm. Bottoms up an I’m out.
*Tommy leaves threw the front door jumping into the bad ass A-Team style SAD van squealing out of the driveway as we fade to black*