Styles
League Member
The camera fades into a shot of “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles, and his sidekick Julius D. Licious. Johnny is sitting on his couch in front of his T.V with an unpleasant glare in his eye. Julius stays almost huddled in the far corner of the room while Styles keeps his full attention on the T.V; he begins to address the GXW audience.
Styles : Onslaught was a good night for me. I remained undefeated here in GXW, and I found someone worth my time and effort. Christian Sands and his buddy Mr. Skull Head. What you did was bad. Very very bad. To quote Ron Jeremy “You’re a bad girl, aren’t ya? Yeah, be bad…yeah.” I mean, I understand why you attacked me, frankly, your jealous of my babaliciousness. Just like every other GXW superstar. At least you had the guts to do something about it, but you went about it the wrong way, kiddo. But Sands, I don’t blame you, no…I blame the brains of the operation. Mr. Skull Head, can’t you attack me one on one? Of course you couldn’t you bodiless freak!
Licious : Umm…John? I think Mr. Skull head is just a doll…
Styles: OH SURE! Take his side! You know what you did to me Christian Bland? When I got back home, and sat right here on my couch after you attacked me, I turned my favorite movie “Brianna Love Jenna”, and do you know what happened? NOTHING! I couldn’t believe it! So I turned the flick off and began to watch “The Iron Chef” on the food network. Sadly enough, it worked for me! That’s right, you’ve driven me back to network television you sick sadistic freak!
Licious: *Snicker*
Styles : WHAT?! It’s not funny! Stop laughing! I’m in pain! Ouch! Look at me hurting!
Licious: So what are you gonna do about it, Styles?
Styles: Well, since it was Mr. Skull Head that devised this whole plan, I want him, 1 on 1 with Christian Sand-in-my-panties barred from ringside!
Licious: Did you just say that you wear panties?
Styles: I didn’t…I mean to say…ummm….*gulp*
Licious: That is gross man, no one wanted to hear that!
Styles: I also want to address The Muffin Man, Mr. Japanese American, Japanese Thunder, Kin Habooki!
Licious I think its Hiroshi…
Styles That’s what I said! Kin Habooki! I’m getting really sick of your lip, Julius. Habookie, you don’t think that I’m good with the ladies…well I’ve never seen you with one! What does that say about you, a man who dresses in tights and wrestles around with men for a living with no interest in women? Look Scooby! I think I just found my first clue! If you’re so positive that I couldn’t take your gold from you, then put it on the line. I’ve got a special match in mind, it was taught to me by the Latin lover, Jimmy Jack Jake “The Tornado Snake”. You know what kind of match it is, and it’s never been done here in GXW, the world infamous “Grind Match”. Let me explain for those of you who don’t know how it works. GXW superstars will dance around the ringside to trendy pop music while to two combatants inside the squared circle face off. The match continues until either the dancers are too tired to continue, or someone wins the match. However, if one combatant begins to dance, and the other doesn’t, the non-dancing wrestler is disqualified. And with my history in male exotic dancing, you don’t stand a chance!
Licious: Johnny, you’ve finally done it. That is the stupidest idea for a match that I’ve ever heard. Why would any self respecting wrestler even attempt such a stupid match?
Styles: Because Habooki wants to make a name for himself as a serious wrestler, so therefore he should be willing to take on all challengers. But at the same time, I have little to lose in this match, and everything to gain. So what do you say Habooki?
Licious smacks his head and retreats to the kitchen in something that resembles astonishment at Style’s train of thought.
Styles: That’s why I’m the thinker in the duo. While I’m at it, it looks like superstars are finally beginning to give the attention that I deserve, so its time to set down the Irresistible Ground Rules.
Rule Number 1: Anyone addressing “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles must do so in the third person.
Licious yelling from the kitchen : But we already do address you in the third person…
Styles: Then your cool with Johnny Styles.
Rule Number 2: Whenever you talk about me, you have to compliment me every third sentence. After all, someone has to boost my self esteem!
And finally, Rule Number 3: You are required to job against Johnny Styles at least twice in your career and once while you are holding a GXW Title.
Licious pokes his head back into the room…
Licious: You really are a moron, aren’t you?
Styles: WAIT! I just had an idea, go get the car, we have to go get some clue cologne and we are heading to the clue field…I have a feeling that we may find something this time! But we have to hurry! “The Iron Chef” is on in an hour, I hear that Iron Chef Italian might be basting something today…oh god that’s hot!
Julius shakes his head and returns to the kitchen while Styles begins to prepare for his brief outing. The screen fades to black with gold writing reading “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles: A hottie with a naughty body.
Styles : Onslaught was a good night for me. I remained undefeated here in GXW, and I found someone worth my time and effort. Christian Sands and his buddy Mr. Skull Head. What you did was bad. Very very bad. To quote Ron Jeremy “You’re a bad girl, aren’t ya? Yeah, be bad…yeah.” I mean, I understand why you attacked me, frankly, your jealous of my babaliciousness. Just like every other GXW superstar. At least you had the guts to do something about it, but you went about it the wrong way, kiddo. But Sands, I don’t blame you, no…I blame the brains of the operation. Mr. Skull Head, can’t you attack me one on one? Of course you couldn’t you bodiless freak!
Licious : Umm…John? I think Mr. Skull head is just a doll…
Styles: OH SURE! Take his side! You know what you did to me Christian Bland? When I got back home, and sat right here on my couch after you attacked me, I turned my favorite movie “Brianna Love Jenna”, and do you know what happened? NOTHING! I couldn’t believe it! So I turned the flick off and began to watch “The Iron Chef” on the food network. Sadly enough, it worked for me! That’s right, you’ve driven me back to network television you sick sadistic freak!
Licious: *Snicker*
Styles : WHAT?! It’s not funny! Stop laughing! I’m in pain! Ouch! Look at me hurting!
Licious: So what are you gonna do about it, Styles?
Styles: Well, since it was Mr. Skull Head that devised this whole plan, I want him, 1 on 1 with Christian Sand-in-my-panties barred from ringside!
Licious: Did you just say that you wear panties?
Styles: I didn’t…I mean to say…ummm….*gulp*
Licious: That is gross man, no one wanted to hear that!
Styles: I also want to address The Muffin Man, Mr. Japanese American, Japanese Thunder, Kin Habooki!
Licious I think its Hiroshi…
Styles That’s what I said! Kin Habooki! I’m getting really sick of your lip, Julius. Habookie, you don’t think that I’m good with the ladies…well I’ve never seen you with one! What does that say about you, a man who dresses in tights and wrestles around with men for a living with no interest in women? Look Scooby! I think I just found my first clue! If you’re so positive that I couldn’t take your gold from you, then put it on the line. I’ve got a special match in mind, it was taught to me by the Latin lover, Jimmy Jack Jake “The Tornado Snake”. You know what kind of match it is, and it’s never been done here in GXW, the world infamous “Grind Match”. Let me explain for those of you who don’t know how it works. GXW superstars will dance around the ringside to trendy pop music while to two combatants inside the squared circle face off. The match continues until either the dancers are too tired to continue, or someone wins the match. However, if one combatant begins to dance, and the other doesn’t, the non-dancing wrestler is disqualified. And with my history in male exotic dancing, you don’t stand a chance!
Licious: Johnny, you’ve finally done it. That is the stupidest idea for a match that I’ve ever heard. Why would any self respecting wrestler even attempt such a stupid match?
Styles: Because Habooki wants to make a name for himself as a serious wrestler, so therefore he should be willing to take on all challengers. But at the same time, I have little to lose in this match, and everything to gain. So what do you say Habooki?
Licious smacks his head and retreats to the kitchen in something that resembles astonishment at Style’s train of thought.
Styles: That’s why I’m the thinker in the duo. While I’m at it, it looks like superstars are finally beginning to give the attention that I deserve, so its time to set down the Irresistible Ground Rules.
Rule Number 1: Anyone addressing “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles must do so in the third person.
Licious yelling from the kitchen : But we already do address you in the third person…
Styles: Then your cool with Johnny Styles.
Rule Number 2: Whenever you talk about me, you have to compliment me every third sentence. After all, someone has to boost my self esteem!
And finally, Rule Number 3: You are required to job against Johnny Styles at least twice in your career and once while you are holding a GXW Title.
Licious pokes his head back into the room…
Licious: You really are a moron, aren’t you?
Styles: WAIT! I just had an idea, go get the car, we have to go get some clue cologne and we are heading to the clue field…I have a feeling that we may find something this time! But we have to hurry! “The Iron Chef” is on in an hour, I hear that Iron Chef Italian might be basting something today…oh god that’s hot!
Julius shakes his head and returns to the kitchen while Styles begins to prepare for his brief outing. The screen fades to black with gold writing reading “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles: A hottie with a naughty body.