Skulls, Muffins, and Fame

[Styles]

The camera fades into a shot of “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles’ face with a huge grin on it. The camera begins to pan out, and it reveals that Styles is sitting in a seat on an airplane. He is wearing a tight blue t-shirt that reads “I like foreplay.” Styles looks cramped in is coach seat, but by the grin on his face, you can tell that he doesn’t mind. The little boy sitting next to Johnny seems to be minding his own business and looking out the window. Styles begins to speak to the camera….

Styles: Hey there GXWites. Its me, the front man of foreplay, the patron of porno, the soltun of smut, “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles. Ever since Onslaught, I know that everyone in the business has been wondering how I am reacting to my first loss in GXW, and why I attacked Kin Habooki. Well, let me shine some light onto the situation.

A flight attendant approaches Styles, and pauses momentarily.

Attendant: John, you want a coke?

Styles: There you are Julius! I told you that costume would come in handy.

Julius as a flight attendant: I know, but just do me a favor. I don’t want to know why you have it, and I don’t want to know who wore it last.

Styles: But Julius, the last person to wear is was that one gir……..

Julius: I said I didn’t want to know!! I have to keep making my rounds so they think I’m working…I’ll try to bring you something from 1st class.

Julius continues to make his rounds as a flight attendant and leaves Styles

Styles: Man, what a party pooper. He is beginning to remind me a lot of Christian Bland. Bland, you beat me for the one, two three fair and square. I cant argue with that. But next time that I step into the squared circle with you, be prepared to face a more focused Johnny Styles who is going to put you in an extremely uncomfortable now position. Now, Habooki…you could have easily avoided this whole confrontation. A few weeks ago I asked you for a match. But not just any match. I wanted a match where my talents would have an extra edge. I wanted a Grind Match. But you never even said a word about it. Even after I backed you up by slamming Reaver and several of your other opponents, I still wasn’t receiving any recognition from you. All I wanted was a shot, Kinny. A chance to prove myself to you, and to GXW. But you wouldn’t give a rookie such an opportunity. Because you’re an egocentric, self righteous, pompous as*. Well, now I have your attention, don’t I Habooki? Your probably wondering where Im going to on this plane, aren’t you? Let me let you in on a little secret, I’m coming for you Kin. I’m coming to Seattle. I’m coming to visit you, Kin. I could be just around the corner snacking on one of your world famous Dingleberry Muffins. Now is my time, Habachi. Now that you don’t have gold strapped around your waist, maybe you will pay attention to the man who you should have been defending that title against for weeks now. The way I see it, I could have taken that title from you. I am the rightful champion. Not Boogie Smellz, not Kin Habachi…Habooki….Hiroshima...whatever. And certainly not that meathead of a wrestler Reaver. Now its just you and me, Kin. Oh! Before I forget, when you cut your next promo, remember to have it subtitled so that I will be able to understand the words that are coming out of you short asian mouth. I cant speak jibberish. And one more thing, remember my 3 Irresistible rules to wrestling against Johnny Styles. Now, when I get to Seattle, I’m putting YOU, in an uncomfortable new position.

The little boy quits looking out the window and stares at Styles

Little Boy: Hey! I know you! You were the weird man trying to pick up on mommy in the airport!! DADDY!! THE GUY IS UP HERE!!

Styles: That wasn’t me….uh…I mean…CRAP! Habooki, you and I will exchange words later, but for now…I need to find a place to hide!

Styles unbuckles his seat belt and begins running toward the bathrooms. He arrives just barley escaping the grasp of a very large man. The camera fades to black with white letters reading, “Mr. Irresistible” Johnny Styles: Pound like a pornstar, party like a rockstar, play like an allstar.

 

[DizzaHizza]

What about me? What about Hiroshi?

* A great man once said of professional wrestling, "Gold may come, and gold may go, but it's a champions legacy that will endure all." Kin Hiroshi thinks that man needs a fork so he can eat his own line of s**t. A legacy isn't born out of a champion's win streak, or title reign. It's born from the fans that know who to watch. Unfortunately, it's also the fans that know when not to watch that same champion.

Kin Hiroshi is such a champion. Born in the ranks of the EWI Cruiserweight Division, he built his career and reputation on being a wrestler. That was when hardcore was trash, and an abdominal strech ended matches. Now, the fans cheer for blood, sweat, and near death of the athletes. What a time to build a legacy...

...especially after losing the GXW Television Title to a stoner named Boogie Smallz. Some legacy that Hiroshi left behind with a title that changes hands faster than the beer in the audiences can be sold. Kin Hiroshi's claim to fame at this point in time? He's defeated Evan Aho more times than the slack-jawed unappreciative fans can count, he brought back a near death Cruiserweight Division from the bottom of the ratings, and he helped Erik Zieba claim GXW from Chad Dupree.

Whoop-de-friggin-doo! In other words, he beat a man who majority of the GXW fans, and GXW wrestlers don't know or remember, revived a division no one cares about, and helped Zieba kick out Dupree only to have Dupree reinstated. Great start to a legacy.

Now, new comer Johnny Styles wants a shot at Hiroshi. Styles thinks Hiroshi has been avoiding Styles, trying to make Styles look like an idiot. Even if Styles is at the top of the rookie pile. Hiroshi doesn't care.

The studio apartment in Seattle is quiet. Kin Hiroshi sits alone on his sofa, staring into space. He leans forward, and rests his elbows on his knees, all the while, staring off at something that is absent. The cameraman coughs, slowly bring Kin out of his dazed state. *

KIN HIROSHI: The television title is gone. So is the cruiserweight title. I claim to be the best, but then I lose a match to Boogie Smallz, who came out of the woodwork to be thrown into Reaver vs. Hiroshi: Part III. How did he win? He cheated. He force fed me tainted muffins, and I got high. Sure, I liked it, but I'm not one to do drugs, so of course I was all messed up. Then, just when I have the match in the bag, Johnny Styles comes running down to disrupt my match.

People think I'm uptight, weak, slow, whatever. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I win matches, I lose matches. One thing happens when I wrestle though, I pull ratings, and help make GXW what it is.

I say, "I deserve a Unified Title Shot," or "I'm the best thing GXW has going." In my mind, I'm right. No one has slaved harder than Kin Hiroshi. Especially without recognition of those tasks, errands, chores, whatever. GXW needs to have a yearly Hiroshi day. Hell, I was Mr. OnSlaught. Then what happens? Boogie Smallz gets his 15 minutes. My 15 still aren't up, and I want what is next on the menu.

Unified World Title Gold.

Whoever it is, whenever it is, whatever kind of match, as long as Unified Gold is on the table.

But there is a little pest that thinks his s**t don't stink now. Johnny Styles, you want your "Grind Match?" Sure, I'm game. Hell, I'll even bring my favorite Menudo CD to play for the dancers, but all the dancing in the world can't protect you from Japanese Thunder. I can, and I will break you, you peacock. Strut your stuff somemore. I'll end you, just like I said I would at OnSlaught. Unfortunately, I was too ripped to remember what I was going to do. I had to be helped to the ring to defend my title.

So, if Zieba will grant it, if Dupree will grant it, if someone will give me the papers, I'll wrestle you in GXW's first ever Grind Match. Line the ring with superstars to dance, play some music, and first one pinned loses, or it's a draw if all the superstars get bored and go to the back. No interference, no weapons, just my foot up your ass and out your mouth.

I don't like you Styles, I never have. You rub me the wrong way, you rub the crowd the wrong way, and Julius has been saying that you rub yourself, and him, the wrong way you flamer.

Johnny Styles: Another Wrestler In The Way Of Hiroshi's Unified Gold...

* Fade To Gold *