Hey you. Yea, you.. the stupid fuck sitting behind your computer eating Cheetos and jacking off to anime porn. Why don't you do something productive with your life for once?
No you silly bastard... don't get up and go outside. You're too fucking fat to get up your parent's stairs anyway. No, move your mouse across your Windows 98 powered screen and click the address bar on Internet Explorer. We're going to YouTube.
I'll wait.
There? Good. Now, it's time to go to everyone's favorite channel ran by Mr. Jizztastic himself, the supreme sleaze.. Superb Dick Fury. What? This is Red Line and you don't know who Dick Fury is? What the fuck is wrong with you?
:sigh:
Look up 'SuperbDick69.'
I'll wait.
As you trusty 56k modem whirls and whines you sit there adding to the caked up imitation cheese flavor pile that encrust your keyboard. Finally, after what seems to be a fucking decade the channel loads. Amazingly, for the first time in a long time, there is a new video. It's titled 'Go-Go Shitacular.'
Of course you're going to click it.
As the video buffers... fuck this is taking forever. You know, you COULD be a fucking adult and get a job so you can afford broadband. Jesus. Anyways, as the video buffers your greasy fingers flicker in excitement. Finally, it begins to play.
You are welcomed by an up close shot of the thickest, manliest chest hair you have seen. It's almost disturbing how your eyes focus on the nipples. No, really, it's beginning to be fucking sick. Stop that shit.
The camera is fumbled with until finally it's moved up and you are introduced to the most magnificent mulleted man you have ever seen. His handle bar mustache is the most glorious thing to ever come across your screen, including that time you did shrooms and watched 'Two Girls, One Cup.'
Dick looks directly into the camera and smiles before he begins to speak.
"Guess who's back?! That's right you little Dicksters.. big daddy Dick is here! You see, Dick loves his gig over in the UTA every other week, calling matches while sitting next to the beautiful chocolate piece of ass Jennifer Williams. But there's no way you can keep a good Dick down. It was only a matter of time before Dick came."
Fury smirks.
"What better way for Dick to be seen then for his first match to be against Red line's own resident whore, Go Go Spectacular."
As he speaks, Dick begins to run his hand through his grizzly chest fro."
"See, Dick's little Fury is used to being called spectacular as the bitches scream 'Go! Go!' so why not match him up with the bitch who obviously idolizes him?"
A confident look comes across his face as he puffs his chest out and pays particular attention to his left nipple with his right pointer finger and thumb.
"Dick has watched you through the years on the indy scene, and as much as he likes fans like you, all he can think of is how your name should be Go Go Shitacular with how fucking terrible you are you in the ring."
Fury slowly moves his hand over to his right nipple, or 'Righty' as he likes to call it.
"You don't deserve to be in the same ring with Dick. Many bitches have come and gone, thinking they could handle Dick, but when it was all said and done.. Dick left them broken, and unable to walk right for weeks."
His hand moves down, joining his other below where you can see. What is he doing as he talks?
"And just like each of them, Dick will break your back and make you humble. He will pounce on you with the force of a jaguar, and plow through you like the whore that you are, leaving you lying, unable to move as he stands over top satisfied."
He closes his eyes, and his head tilts back just a bit. Really.. what the hell is he doing below the screen?
"Oh Go Go... Dick's going to take you down hard. It's going to be the longest.... match you have ever had. The hardest.... bout you've ever been in. Oh yea, Dick is going to deliver what all the fans want to see... He's going to give Go Go Spectacular the Money Shot right to your face!"
He bites his lips and quivers a bit before opening his eyes and looking up, his hands now coming into view and rubbing together.
"When he's done, your face is going to be covered Go Go... Covered with sticky... hot... crimson blood. Oh yes. Dick is going to then pin you and make you wish you'd never attempted to take Dick on."
He moves his right middle and pointer finger up to his mouth, before moving it away as he blows a kiss toward the camera.
"When it's all said and done, the smoke as cleared, and they help your motionless body from the ring... Then Go Go.. you will have known... what it's like to have..."
He bites his lip again, releasing a small moan before continuing.
"... To have felt... the Fury..."
He stands looking directly into your eyes as the scene fades to black. Shocked, the disturbing images stick in your head. Wait.. why are you hard? Ugh. You really are a sick fuck.
END.
