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Southern Thunder vs. Danish Domination



(Fade in on two, that's right, TWO, Danish debonair mofos. Lloyd Loth and Jack (pronounced "Yak" (yeah, like the big dumb animal)) Jensen. They wear traditional Danish clothes, but that doesn't keep them from looking like pirates. Lloyd is the strong, silent type, but that's only because he doesn't speak English yet. Jack is convinced that he has a kung-fu grip (his words, not mine) on the English language. And of course, now he wants to talk...)

JACK JENSEN: We are spectacular, Americans! This beautiful man (motions to Lloyd) can do more things in ring than all tiny latino wrestlers put together! That IS where this "Southern Thunder" is from, no? The Mexican part of the United States, correct? Or is that not right? I do not know, all I know is that WE are DANISH DOMINATION!!!

(They both pose in what they must think are VERY intimidating poses. Lloyd releases and rubs his head. He must've flexed much too hard.)

JACK: Now, what you need to know? NOTHING!!! Young, attractive, thin American ladies, our room will be waiting for you! With feather pillows and those... french tickler things! YAH!

(Fade to black)


(Fades in on two beautiful black and gold Harley Davidson motorcycles trimmed with all the works sitting outside in an arena parking lot. As the camera starts to pan back, Southern Thunder wearing their new black and gold masks and long black dusters and Black Stetson cowboy hats comes walking up in front of their bikes. The two big men turns and looks into the camera.)

Black Heart: It’s time for a change! It’s time for Southern Thunder to stand up and be counted in GLCW. Now I’m not going to stand out here and cry about our track record here in GLCW but I’m telling you right now, things are about to change GLCW!

T-Bolt: Gone are the stupid country and western songs and camera effects. No, what you’re going to see from Southern Thunder from now on is Southern Thunder! It’s time to get back to the blood and guts of wrestling!

Black Heart: You said it brother. We’re sick and tired of wasting hard earn money on promos made by Hollywood production companies because that is not what wrestling is all about. Southern Thunder is taking the bull by the horns and getting back to the basics! Blood and guts wrestling is returning to GLCW and it’s going to start right in the Carver Arena in Peoria Illinois when Southern Thunder takes on Danish Domination!

T-Bolt: That’s right Danish boys! You picked a bad time to come up against these two Texans! Now that’s Texas not Mexico! Get it straight. If your going to come to the good ole USA to earn your dollar you better learn some respect before somebody like Southern Thunder knocks it into you.

Black Heart: Now Danish boys we’re not going to stand out here and paint you a pretty picture about what we are going to do because it ain’t gonna be a pretty thing to watch. See boys Southern Thunder has been on a down hill slide since coming to GLCW but that’s about to stop! We’re coming to Peoria Illinois with one thing on our minds. That’s to turn this train around and get back on track. Now the way it looks to me boys your laying on our track and we ain’t about to slow down.

T-Bolt: (smiles) Blood and guts! That’s what it is all about for Southern Thunder! Now Domination like we said, it’s time for change. It’s not longer going to be an eye for an eye when it comes to us. We’re going to take the eye before you get a chance too. That’s just the way things are going to be from now on.

Black Heart: (points at the camera) Danish Domination! You’re looking at two hungry Texans that’s coming to remove you from our path no matter what the cost! You will find your welcome into GLCW not to your liking, I promise you that!



(Fade in on Jack and Lloyd standing over their red and white Schwinn bicycles. That's right... real bikers. Not like those west coast choppers. BIKERS. Who look like pirates. Jack begins to speak, so the introductory narrative will end... now.)

JACK JENSEN: You Texans think you are so very neat? Well, we have bikes too!! Look! Schwinn cruiser bicycles. Very cruiser like. They bring us many, many thin, attractive, good looking American womans! Sure, Lloyd gets much more lady stuff than I do, but hey, he IS the one that the ladies are liking to. And for that, I give Lloyd a big pat on the back of his back.

(Jack pats Lloyd on his back... of his back. Lloyd beams, but obviously has no idea what was just said)

JACK: So... Misters T-Bolt and Black Heart, you both think that you can take myself and my cousin Lloyd? We both have lots of doubt in those statements. Although, we must let you know, if you ARE very hungry Texans, then we are sure that you can find a restaurant to feed your hunger. We would hate to have to wrestle Texans without nourishment. That is what would happen to those "Bloods and guts" of yours if you were not to feed that hunger before our upcoming battle. And then we would be sad, and take it easy on you because we do not want to hurt you too badly. So goes it, I suppose.

(Jack gets off of his Schwinn. Lloyd follows suit. They move closer to the camera as Jack continues)

JACK: But, Texans of the South, if you are in any way of thinking that you can handle what Lloyd and I are bringing to the ring, you are very wrong. We WILL be ... goodness, I can't remember how to say this... kicking your asses from post to post? Yah, that's it. I remember now. Kicking those asses from post to post! You two Southern Texans will know what it feels like to receive a beating from DANISH DOMINATION!!

(Jack and Lloyd both scowl and flex as the camera fades to black)

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