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[SS 2005] Stephen Greer vs Paul Doom

Greer_of_TD

League Member
Joined
Oct 19, 2004
Messages
22
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"Jesus LOVES Waffles... and porn."

"The Great Pyramids. Stone Henge. Crop circles. Paul Doom getting a World Title shot at Summer Sizzler. These are great mysteries. Mysteries that can never be explained."

[Fade up.]

"What in the **** happened here?"

[It's intro time, baby, and here it is.The stars of today's epic? Stephen Greer, your EUWC World Heavyweight Champion. One half of the EUWC World Tag Team Champions with Tyrone Walker, the dynamic duo of domination known as Team Danger. Kelly Evans, the "Whore Next Door", manager of champions, spitting image of the Virgin Mary.]

"Is it too much to ask to get a quality opponent just once? Seriously, just once would be nice."

[Greer and Evans sit in a Waffle House on the outskirts of Toledo, Ohio. Both enjoying the oversized waffles and the ambiance that can be found nowhere but the Waffle House, the EUWC World Title Belt is resting on the table next to their plates, napkins and syrup resting on it's golden faceplate.]

Greer: Why is it that instead of putting me in with Sean Taylor for this Pay-Per-View that they're for sure tanking buyrates left and right by putting me with Paul Doom, a guy who couldn't even beat "Classy" Mike C?

[Evans chokes down an enormous bite of syrup and butter smothered waffle, syrup running down her chin and onto her chest, which unlike the rest of the patronage, is not covered in a tee shirt, instead her buxom form is housed in a black bra and pink fishnet shirt.]

Evans: Because I stabbed him again at Main Frame, remember?

[Greer shudders as Evans smiles with the half-chewed breakfast food still in her mouth.]

Greer: God, watching you eat is a sight that would remind anyone to diet. But yes, I remember, we did a number on him. But then I ask, why not put me up against Ty? He and I are guaranteed buys. Sure, with Team Danger on the show, the buyrate won't suffer too much, but Paul Doom? Jesus, this guy is just plain horrible.

Evans: He was World Champion, ya know?

Greer: Yeah, two years ago. And Tag Champion last year at this time. One thing though, I'm BOTH right NOW. I am the current World Champion and one half of the Tag Team Champions. Hell, the only title that Team Danger and Associates doesn't hold right now is the 52 Wild Hardcore garbage title an if I'd had my way, I'd have that one too from when I destroyed Mike C, but no, Pickstock was afraid to put it on the line.

[Evans reaches for the syrup and knocks it over, spilling it all over the EUWC Title Belt. Greer quickly sweeps in and starts blotting it up with napkins, trying to absorb the river of sugary goodness.]

Greer: Bleh, be careful Kel, we might be able to get some cash for this belt.

Evans: Like the LCW Tag Titles? Only got eight bucks for those.

Greer: Yeah, but this is different, this belt isn't made of aluminum. This belt is actually something people want. This belt is something that Paul Doom has ZERO chance of ever holding again as long as my name is associated with it. Sure, did he get me last week? Yeah, he hit me with a pipe. Dropped from the ceiling no less, how original. Why couldn't HE have died during that stunt?

Evans: Because God is never that kind.

Greer: Indeed. So some freak lays me out with a cheap shot and all of a sudden he's the number one contender to MY belt? In what universe does this happen? Pickstock has really lost his freaking mind if he thinks this is how to do business. I mean, this match has zero buildup and even less heat. Everyone on earth knows I'm walking out of Summer Sizzler with the belt still around my waist, people are only going to buy this event from their local provider because they want to see what we do next.

Evans: And maybe to see who your mystery opponents are.

[Greer sighs and sets his fork down.]

Greer: You know, I am really getting sick and tired of "mystery opponents". When will promoters learn that it doen't matter who they put in there, they're getting busted up. Pickstock thinks we don't know who it is anyway, but I'll let you in on a little secret...

[Greer waives his finger to pull Kelly in further.]

Greer: It's...

[Greer whispers into Evans' ear. She pulls away smiling and fills her face with waffle.]

Evans (with mouth full): Seriously? Ha! No worries then.

Greer: Exactly, no worries at all. And we're with the Moundfields again? God, I knew these guys were brain damaged, but this will be the fourth time we're forced to cave their empty skulls in and I'll have to admit, it's getting kind of boring.

Evans: It's getting boring to watch too, believe me.

Greer: Well, there's no one else out there, so I guess we have to wrestle someone. I'm just glad I don't have to carry Paul Doom more than once in one night. What's the deal with you having a match?

[Evans chugs down half of her glass of milk and lets out a loud belch, wiping away the residue left on her full, red lips.]

Evans: A "Bare Necessities" match. Sounds like an excuse to see me naked.

Greer: Yeah, like you haven't given that away enough already.

Evans: I know! I think Pickstock just wants to see my snatch. You know he never gets laid.

Greer: Well, let's try and avoid that.

Evans: Why?

Greer: Remember the video?

[Evans scratches her head, pondering, before that light bulb finally illuminates inside her brain.]

Evans: Oh yeah! That DVD we're going to sell with me and the toys and the vegetables and the girl and the...

Greer: Yes, yes, that's the one. Geez, I was there, no need for you to spill the whole plot over lunch. Especially with that kid staring at you.

[Evans turns around in her seat and makes eyes with the teenage boy sitting two tables behind them. Seated next to his surprisingly young and attractive mother, his father is up kicking the crap out of the cigarette machine for depriving him of his Marlboro fix. Evans winks and suggestively pulls at the neckline of her top.]

Greer: Kel, quit it.

Evans: Yeah, yeah, one sec.

[Kelly seductively licks her lips and blows a kiss at the table. The mother covers her son's eyes and is about to lose it all over Evans when Kelly beats her to the punch of speech.]

Evans: Hey sweetheart, what say we lose these boys and go have ourselves a party?

[Shock and awe cross the woman's face as Evans smiles and leaves her seat.]

Evans: Be right back, Steve, gotta hit the bathroom.

[Evans slinks past the table and without any modicum of morality or a guage of what's appropriate, reaches across and caresses the woman's face and the pulls the neckline of her shirt open, glancing downward. he woman shrugs her off as Evans enters the restroom.]

Greer: Sorry about that, ma'am.

Woman: No, it's all right.

[The woman shudders and then leaves the table, quickly entering the bathroom. Faintly heard from within before the door slams shut is Evans muttering "Oooh, baby".]

Greer: Oh man. Waffle House sex. That takes me back.

[Fade.]

[What, you think there's more? Dream on, perverts. Go download some porn or something.]

 

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