Leary
League Member
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol."
Outside of the North Charleston Coliseum, Dos Equis and Bob L. Fish are seen banging on a metal door.
XX: ¿Hola? La más nueva superestrella de NFW aquí. ¿Hola? ¿Cuál es el reparto, Bob? Este lugar se debe vender hacia fuera y cantando mi nombre. Era llevo para creer que éste es cómo este negocio de lucha americano trabajó. Se reserva una demostración de la casa. Llego y me trato como dios, da la mejor entrevista nunca, después voy a la parte posterior y. Bien, entonces soy un pedacito borroso qué sucede después eso.
BLF: How am I supposed to translate that?
XX: ¡Consiga algunos subtítulos, tipo!
BLF: Subtitles? Ah yes.
Dos Equis and Fish look down at the lower part of the screen where subtitles magically appear.
Subtitle: Hello? The newest superstar of NFW here. Hello? Which is the distribution, Bob?...
XX: Vayamos consiguen una cerveza.
Subtitle: ...This place is due to sell towards outside and singing my name. It was I take to think that this one is how this business of American fight worked. A demonstration of the house is reserved. I arrive and I treat like God, never gives the best interview, later I go to the later part and. Well, then I am a blurred small piece what that happens later.
Subtitle: It obtains some subtitles, type!
Subtitle: We go obtain a beer.
The screen is now empty. The camera pans left and right but Dos Equis and Fish are nowhere to be seen. Hmm...
Subtitle: Check the nearest bar.
Cut to the Nearest Bar. Dos Equis hops up on the bar and moonsaults into a stool.
XX: Ay-yi-yi! ¡Mis bolas!
Subtitle: Ay-yi-yi! My balls!
BLF: You really should think about buying a cup.
XX: ¿De la cerveza? Pensaba de cerca de diez.
Subtitle: Of the beer? It thought of near ten.
BLF: Not, not cups of beer. A sports cup. For your genitals.
XX: ¿Bolas? ¡No necesito ninguna bolas!
Subtitle: Balls? I do not need any balls!
Bartender: What can I get for you boys?
XX: Dos Equis!
BLF: Dos Equis.
XX: ¿Qué?
Subtitle: What?
BLF: I was ordering a Dos Equis.
XX:¿Qué?
Subtitle: What?
BLF: Oh, don't start that. ¿Qué? will never get over as a catchphrase.
XX: Podría.
Subtitle: It could.
Dos Equis holds up a black T-shirt with white letters: ¿QUÉ?
XX: ¿Usted sabe lo que necesitamos? ¡Cambio!
Subtitle: You know what we needed? Change!
BLF: You mean America? Well, they did just elect Barack Obama. He's half black.
XX: No, No. Eso no es lo que signifiqué.
Subtitle: No, no. That is not what I meant.
BLF: Do you mean that NFW needs change. And that's why you're here, to possibly appear on their house show, whenever it happens?
XX: No, no, de que no es él tampoco.
Subtitle: No, no, of which he either is not.
The bartender delivers two napkins and two bottles of beer.
Bartender: Should I start a tab?
XX: No Tab. Dos Equis.
Bartender: Is he speaking Spanish, man?
BLF: No. He's speaking Luchador. I'm his interpreter.
XX: ¡Granice la república popular de Luchador!
Subtitle: Hail The People's Republic of Luchador!
Bartender: So, not insane guy in a mask, should I start a tab, or...
XX: No lengüeta, Dos Equis!
Subtitle: Nontongue-piece, Dos Equis!
The bartender sighs.
BLF: We'll pay. Dos, where's your money.
XX: Ahh!
Subtitle: Ahh!
Dos Equis digs into his gold and black wrestling boot and pulls out a sock. Inside is what sounds like loose change.
BLF: Is that a roll of quarters?
XX: ¡Sí! It' s mi objeto extranjero. Y mi carpeta. ¡Éste es el cambio que usted puede creer adentro! Porque me compra las cervezas.
Subtitle: Yes! It's my foreign object. And my folder. This one is the change that you can believe inside! Because it buys the beers to me.
BLF: That's what you were talking about? We've got a lot of work to do to get you over and compete for that TV title one of these days.
XX: ¿Títulos? ¡Necesito el dinero de la cerveza!
Subtitle: Titles? I need the money the beer!
BLF: You'll get more beer money if you get titles.
XX: ¿Sí?
Subtitle: Yes?
BLF: Oh yeah. I get 10 percent of whatever you earn. And I don't want 10 percent of zero. You know what that is?
XX: ¿Cero?
Caption: Zero?
BLF: Good boy.
XX: ¿Piense que todos mis ventiladores han llegado la arena para cantar mi nombre?
Subtitle: It thinks that all ventilators have arrived the sand to sing my name?
BLF: We could go check.
XX: Derecho después de esta cerveza.
Subtitle: Straight after this beer.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Derecho después de esta cerveza.
Subtitle: Straight after this beer.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Deben hacer una película sobre mí. DOS llamado Equis. Sería apenas como xXx, pero no star Vin diesel y no lo aspiraría totalmente.
Subtitle: They must make a film on me. Dos Equis. It would hardly be like xXx, but not to star diesel Vin and would not inhale it totally.
BLF: Genius.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: ¿Éramos supuestos hacer algo?
Subtitle: Were we supposed to do something?
Dos Equis falls off his stool.
BLF: I need to piss.
XX: ¡No soy un orinal!
Subtitle: I am not a urinal!
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Nombre. Nombre. De. ¿La cosa?
Subtitle: The. Name. Name. Of. The thing?
Caption: Empty beer cup.
Fish is dragging Dos Equis out the front door.
XX: NFW! NWF! FWN! WFN! WTFMF?
BLF: I really hope you get a match soon.
XX: ¿Un fósforo? ¡Pero la cerveza caerá de mi vidrio!
Subtitle: A match? But the beer will fall of my glass!
BLF: Time to go to AA.
XX: Arn Anderson?
BLF: Alcoholics Anonymous.
XX: ¡Uno! ¡Dos! ¡Tres! ¡Cuatro! ¡Cinco! ¡Seises! ¡Siete! ¡Ocho! ¡Nueve! ¡Diez! ¡Once! ¡Doce! ¡Acabo de tomar mis doce medidas! ¡Me curan!
Subtitle: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Seises! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! I finish taking my twelve measures! They cure to me!
And that's when Dos Equis faded to black out.
Outside of the North Charleston Coliseum, Dos Equis and Bob L. Fish are seen banging on a metal door.
XX: ¿Hola? La más nueva superestrella de NFW aquí. ¿Hola? ¿Cuál es el reparto, Bob? Este lugar se debe vender hacia fuera y cantando mi nombre. Era llevo para creer que éste es cómo este negocio de lucha americano trabajó. Se reserva una demostración de la casa. Llego y me trato como dios, da la mejor entrevista nunca, después voy a la parte posterior y. Bien, entonces soy un pedacito borroso qué sucede después eso.
BLF: How am I supposed to translate that?
XX: ¡Consiga algunos subtítulos, tipo!
BLF: Subtitles? Ah yes.
Dos Equis and Fish look down at the lower part of the screen where subtitles magically appear.
Subtitle: Hello? The newest superstar of NFW here. Hello? Which is the distribution, Bob?...
XX: Vayamos consiguen una cerveza.
Subtitle: ...This place is due to sell towards outside and singing my name. It was I take to think that this one is how this business of American fight worked. A demonstration of the house is reserved. I arrive and I treat like God, never gives the best interview, later I go to the later part and. Well, then I am a blurred small piece what that happens later.
Subtitle: It obtains some subtitles, type!
Subtitle: We go obtain a beer.
The screen is now empty. The camera pans left and right but Dos Equis and Fish are nowhere to be seen. Hmm...
Subtitle: Check the nearest bar.
Cut to the Nearest Bar. Dos Equis hops up on the bar and moonsaults into a stool.
XX: Ay-yi-yi! ¡Mis bolas!
Subtitle: Ay-yi-yi! My balls!
BLF: You really should think about buying a cup.
XX: ¿De la cerveza? Pensaba de cerca de diez.
Subtitle: Of the beer? It thought of near ten.
BLF: Not, not cups of beer. A sports cup. For your genitals.
XX: ¿Bolas? ¡No necesito ninguna bolas!
Subtitle: Balls? I do not need any balls!
Bartender: What can I get for you boys?
XX: Dos Equis!
BLF: Dos Equis.
XX: ¿Qué?
Subtitle: What?
BLF: I was ordering a Dos Equis.
XX:¿Qué?
Subtitle: What?
BLF: Oh, don't start that. ¿Qué? will never get over as a catchphrase.
XX: Podría.
Subtitle: It could.
Dos Equis holds up a black T-shirt with white letters: ¿QUÉ?
XX: ¿Usted sabe lo que necesitamos? ¡Cambio!
Subtitle: You know what we needed? Change!
BLF: You mean America? Well, they did just elect Barack Obama. He's half black.
XX: No, No. Eso no es lo que signifiqué.
Subtitle: No, no. That is not what I meant.
BLF: Do you mean that NFW needs change. And that's why you're here, to possibly appear on their house show, whenever it happens?
XX: No, no, de que no es él tampoco.
Subtitle: No, no, of which he either is not.
The bartender delivers two napkins and two bottles of beer.
Bartender: Should I start a tab?
XX: No Tab. Dos Equis.
Bartender: Is he speaking Spanish, man?
BLF: No. He's speaking Luchador. I'm his interpreter.
XX: ¡Granice la república popular de Luchador!
Subtitle: Hail The People's Republic of Luchador!
Bartender: So, not insane guy in a mask, should I start a tab, or...
XX: No lengüeta, Dos Equis!
Subtitle: Nontongue-piece, Dos Equis!
The bartender sighs.
BLF: We'll pay. Dos, where's your money.
XX: Ahh!
Subtitle: Ahh!
Dos Equis digs into his gold and black wrestling boot and pulls out a sock. Inside is what sounds like loose change.
BLF: Is that a roll of quarters?
XX: ¡Sí! It' s mi objeto extranjero. Y mi carpeta. ¡Éste es el cambio que usted puede creer adentro! Porque me compra las cervezas.
Subtitle: Yes! It's my foreign object. And my folder. This one is the change that you can believe inside! Because it buys the beers to me.
BLF: That's what you were talking about? We've got a lot of work to do to get you over and compete for that TV title one of these days.
XX: ¿Títulos? ¡Necesito el dinero de la cerveza!
Subtitle: Titles? I need the money the beer!
BLF: You'll get more beer money if you get titles.
XX: ¿Sí?
Subtitle: Yes?
BLF: Oh yeah. I get 10 percent of whatever you earn. And I don't want 10 percent of zero. You know what that is?
XX: ¿Cero?
Caption: Zero?
BLF: Good boy.
XX: ¿Piense que todos mis ventiladores han llegado la arena para cantar mi nombre?
Subtitle: It thinks that all ventilators have arrived the sand to sing my name?
BLF: We could go check.
XX: Derecho después de esta cerveza.
Subtitle: Straight after this beer.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Derecho después de esta cerveza.
Subtitle: Straight after this beer.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Deben hacer una película sobre mí. DOS llamado Equis. Sería apenas como xXx, pero no star Vin diesel y no lo aspiraría totalmente.
Subtitle: They must make a film on me. Dos Equis. It would hardly be like xXx, but not to star diesel Vin and would not inhale it totally.
BLF: Genius.
Caption: One beer later...
XX: ¿Éramos supuestos hacer algo?
Subtitle: Were we supposed to do something?
Dos Equis falls off his stool.
BLF: I need to piss.
XX: ¡No soy un orinal!
Subtitle: I am not a urinal!
Caption: One beer later...
XX: Nombre. Nombre. De. ¿La cosa?
Subtitle: The. Name. Name. Of. The thing?
Caption: Empty beer cup.
Fish is dragging Dos Equis out the front door.
XX: NFW! NWF! FWN! WFN! WTFMF?
BLF: I really hope you get a match soon.
XX: ¿Un fósforo? ¡Pero la cerveza caerá de mi vidrio!
Subtitle: A match? But the beer will fall of my glass!
BLF: Time to go to AA.
XX: Arn Anderson?
BLF: Alcoholics Anonymous.
XX: ¡Uno! ¡Dos! ¡Tres! ¡Cuatro! ¡Cinco! ¡Seises! ¡Siete! ¡Ocho! ¡Nueve! ¡Diez! ¡Once! ¡Doce! ¡Acabo de tomar mis doce medidas! ¡Me curan!
Subtitle: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Seises! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! I finish taking my twelve measures! They cure to me!
And that's when Dos Equis faded to black out.