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Sweet Home Greenville County


League Member
Feb 5, 2004
South Carolina
(It’s 7:15 at a 7:30 house show at the Bi-Lo center in Greenville, SC and the cameras are rolling for your Saturday Morning replay on Saturday CS TV. With only about 7500 of the eventual crowd of 13,000 already within earshot and running for their seats, the CSWA speakers blare out Dolly Parton singing a slow but inspiring version of "Dixie" as a video of the American, Palmetto and Confederate Flag flapping briskly in the breeze over the State Capital shows on the Merit-tron Screen over the stage. (OORP: Remember when House shows didn’t have cameras let alone large screen TV’s). Dolly finishes. Fire up Led Zepp remix featuring the line "Whole Lotta Love" as Eddy Love arrives at the top of the stage. Love struts to the ring wearing a white T-shirt that has "Keep it flying SC" over a flag split diagonally with the SC Palmetto flag covering the top left and the Confederate battle flag covering the bottom right and a burnt orange blazer with IPTAY embroidered on the right cuff. Eddy strikes the Elvis pose left hand holding mic to his lowered head, right hand raised high shimmering slightly but quickly over his head.)

You wanna know the best thing about working for the C…S…W…A and Chad Merrit??????

(Eddy breaks the pose and slides on a pair of small round sunglasses, shedding the blazer and handing it carefully to a ring hand.)

It’s when they go home……. Hurricane Eddy is just a 4 hour Limousine ride from his home right here in Up-State SOOUUTH Car-o-lina. And while the rest of the CSWA world struggles with whether they hate that they just hafta LOVE Eddy…… GREENVILLE COUNTY has always LOVED The Southern Dandy, the Legend Killer, yours truly….. just as much as I LOVE you…..(Love points both hands to the crowd….Huge Pop….. EDDY….EDDY)

Now I stand here nearly one year to the day since Mike Randalls looked me in the eye and declared that my presence was grounds for a declaration of WAR from the group he hand fallen into, the Claimstakers. I Scoffed at his war….. these three men together probably could never beat Eddy Love, and in a series of battles where their skills would be matched with mine, PFFFFF, they were the Generals against the Globetrotters……. But while I predicted the outcome…….. I must admit that I underestimated Mike Rambles’ prediction of the War.

I mean Let’s face it how many men have declared War on Eddy Love….. The Corporation promised a War, then was run from the business at my (pause) milky smooth hands….. Mark Vissak called it war, I beat him up for two months then he stole a win and hid for a lifetime, he musta been like one and sixty three against Eddy Love……. the Dark Carnival said it would be War, and Poe wears my brand while Powers laments about leaving my side….. Radder has called it war only to be hung like a 16th century murderer, while he Rich Littled all my best interviews….. War has been declared before Mike….

But you have delivered better than the rest… and you’ve taken no quarter.

Your War has seen my trainer driven through a table to the end of her career…. Wolf, It’s seen us both feel the pain of falling from the top of a 20 foot cage…… it’s seen the most beautiful head of hair of all time shaved by the same hands that would shear the nappy lice nest that used to sit on the top of your head…… my bones do ache, Mike, I have some scars, and probably most painful for both of us …… because of you, I was pinned by Steve Radder and because of me you were pinned by Larry Stanley. That’s when it hit home most that I had underestimated your war, Mike because let’s face it those losses are as hard as any punch we’ve ever taken….. you’ve delivered the War you’ve promised Mike…… but even you know …. Even you have admitted I’ve won the war, and now at Anniversary, when Hurricane Eddy hits the Dessert’s shores I bring the biggest weapon in this business with me, and Mike, my ritlin prescription is running short, and I suspect, after Anniversary, I’ll be rid of that Big Bad Wolf Story that has become so tired…… it’s been that war you promised, Mike, but now you’ve been driven back in retreat and I’m ready to deliver that final blow, and I’m bringing a force as strong as that metaphoric atomic bomb.

Now, we have the matter of my partner….. and yea, I’ve heard my beloved locals anxious for Eddy Love to pick Shane Southern as my partner ( huge pop) …… and yes I know that Shane has beaten our current CSWA paper champion at every turn and even like 25 minutes before that so called champion won that formerly prestigious belt……. But if you think I’m dumb enough to take that hack Shane Southern into the ring against a man like Randalls, just because he’s better than Evan Aho….well you got another thing comin’….You people as much as Shane are proof, that just because you’re Southern, don’t mean you’re Eddy Love.(Mixed boos from the crowd)

I’m tired of talking about Mike Rambles …… and I’m three times as tired of listening to him….. For five years now, Eddy Love has been what made this company……. We watched as anyone I ran with got the best brought out in them…… hell, even Kevin Powers got to carry around a belt when he ran with me…… and now Randalls….. Me the ultimate honing device, has aimed the deadliest weapon you’ve known at your career. Your Path Mike, Your WAY has led you to me, and now I’m beating, not leading , but beating you right into your slaughter, Mike.

And Greenville, while you wonder who your man….. Mr. South Carolina will team with in Greensboro….. and I know, even you, my most faithful wonder who it will be…… remember that whenever….. and I mean when-EVER Hurricane Eddy has brought a dancing partner to the Carolinas’ Fair ….. WE ALWAYS GO HOME WITH THE TEDDY BEAR……. (Cue Up :Led Zepp "Trampled Under Foot" *whole lotta love* as Eddy exits the ring. FTB)

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