TEAM Special EPICENTER: 2008 Tournament of Champions

[TH]

[Cue up Emerson, Lake and Palmer, “Karn Evil 9: First Impression, Part Two”. Fade into a shot of Tyler Rayne trading shots with IrishRed.]

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We’re so glad you could attend. Come inside come inside.

[Cut to Wraith with Myles Jake over his head in a gorilla press. Out of nowhere, Larry Tact dropkicks Wraith in the back, causing human wreckage~!]

There behind the glass is a real blade of grass. Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.

[Cut to Jay Phoenix whipping Fusenshoff off the ropes, with Phoenix retaliating with a headscissors]

Come on, see the show!

[Cut to Dusk coming at Ravager with a cross-body block.]

Come on, see the show!

[Cut to Troy Douglas coming at both James Varga and Chris Bagwell with a flying double clothesline.]

Come on, see the shooooowwwwww…

[Cut to Olvir Arsvinnar screaming primally]

[Flash cut to every superstar participating in this year’s ToC as the closing flourish of the song fills the air.]

Seeeee the shooooooowwwww!!!

[Fade into the TEAM studios where Tom Holzerman sits behind the news desk.]

TH: Hello everyone, and welcome to a special EPICENTER event, recapping this year’s TEAM Tournament of Champions. The ToC was brought to you live on ASN from the San Francisco Bay area, and we have two solid nights of action to highlight for you, ending with the presentation of the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy to someone you might not have expected going into this thing.

[Cut to a close-up of Holzerman with a “Battle Royale” inset behind him.]

TH: Of course, it’s hard to have a one-night tournament with almost twenty competitors, so the night before the big dance in Oakland, we had to do the Battle Royale thing at the Cow Palace in San Jose.

[Cut to the ring with all 18 competitors inside.]

TH V/O: It was a veritable sea of wrestlers in there as all eighteen men and zero women, a first in ToC history, couldn’t wait to start wailing on each other like a bar rumble without the booze.

[Cut to Larry Tact rumbling with Mikey Massacre.]

TH V/O: Our first elimination of the evening came here, with Mikey Massacre whiffing on a wide haymaker and Larry Tact sending him to the floor unceremoniously, giving him a wedgie and the heave-ho.

[Cut to Tyler Rayne trading shots with Myles Jake.]

TH V/O: The venerable Myles Jake has led a long, fruitful life, but his ToC run was pretty short as he was the next to go. Trading shots with Tyler Rayne isn’t a good idea, but near the ropes? Rayne sends the Jake over the top with that haymaker.

[Cut to Wraith with Jesse Jamester in a gorilla press position.]

TH V/O: Wraith looking like he’s going to eliminate Jesse Jamester here, but out of nowhere comes Troy Douglas, from behind with the dropkick to Wraith’s back. The big man from A1E drops Jamester and stumbles forward, but before he can gain his balance, Douglas nails him with ANOTHER dropkick and sends him over the top rope. However, the EPW Intercontinental Champion admires his conquest just a little too long as Fusenshoff takes the opportunity to eliminate him.

[Cut to Jamester with Irishred by the wrist.]

TH V/O: Speaking of Jesse Jamester, he’s looking like he’s going to send Irishred for a ride, but Red reverses the Irish whip. The crafty South Dakotan takes Jamester on the rebound and back body drops him over the top rope, eliminating him.

[Cut to Fusenshoff in the corner with Cameron Cruise facing him on the second rope.]

TH V/O: Cameron Cruise getting into the action here, wailing on Fusenshoff, but Fuse blocks one of his punches and just out-muscling the TWW Champion overhead and to the floor.

[Cut to Chad Kurtis and James Varga brawling.]

TH V/O: James Varga and Ravager getting their brawl on. Varga misses wide on a clothesline and Ravager takes advantage with a back suplex over the ropes to eliminate the Dark Lord of the Wrestling Sith.

[Cut to Chad Kurtis running the ropes towards Ken Cloverleaf.]

TH V/O: Ken Cloverleaf getting into the action here, whipping Chad Kurtis into the ropes and setting him up for elimination. Cloverleaf tosses him over the ropes, but Kurtis hangs on. Cloverleaf prematurely celebrates, and Kurtis grabs him by the neck, spins him around and suplexes him over the top. But Kurtis has no time to rest, as Rayne sees an opportunity and charges into Kurtis, knocking him to the floor before he can get back into the ring.

[Cut to Chris Bagwell and Larry Tact brawling around the ropes.]

TH V/O: Nine men left, one more out and we get our eight for the tournament. Tact here brawling with Chris Bagwell and out of NOWHERE, Olvir Arsvinnar runs into both men, sending them over the top. They both seem to land at the same time, which wouldn’t present a problem if it cut the tournament segment short one man. Refs went under the hood to review it, and as you see here:

[Cut to the slo-mo instant replay]

TH V/O: Larry Tact’s back lands on the mat first and Chris Bagwell lands on top of him. So Bagwell advances to the tournament. Too bad for Larry Tact. So close yet so far.

[Cue up “L’Via L’Viaquez” by The Mars Volta. Cut to a shot of Ravager grappling with Dusk.]

TH V/O: When we come back from commercial, we’ll take a look at the Tournament proper from the Oracle Arena, where Dusk battled Ravager in the first round, among others.

[Cut to a commercial for the Spirit.]

 

[TH]

[Cut to the ring at the Oracle Arena in Oakland, CA. Dusk grappling with Ravager.]

TH V/O: Let’s dive right into the action highlights, Dusk taking on Ravager in the first round here. Ravager starts off quickly tossing Dusk into the ropes and hitting him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker off the Irish whip.

[Cut to Dusk with Ravager in a gutwrench.]

TH V/O: Dusk would come back to take control of the match midway through, here hitting the TEAM Invitational runner-up with a gutwrench suplex.

[Cut to Dusk in front of Ravager, looking to strike.]

TH V/O: And again, taking it to the Challenge Champion, Dusk with a couple of forearms to the face into an Irish whip that he finishes with a stun gun. Ouch.

[Cut to Dusk setting up on a staggered Ravager.]

TH V/O: Dusk going for the finish here, but he can’t plant on his bad knee for the Shattered Dreams superkick and collapses to the mat. Ravager takes advantage after getting his wits back about him and drives a knee into Dusk’s bad knee.

[Cut to Ravager with Dusk in a single-leg crab.]

TH V/O: Ravager taking further advantage of Dusk’s injury locks him into a single crab on the injured knee.

[Cut to Ravager with Dusk in a front facelock.]

TH V/O: But it all came to a surprise ending here for Ravager as he’s going for a suplex or a brainbuster here, but Dusk blocks it and counters into an inside cradle. Bad knee and all, Dusk gets the flash one-two-three and moves on to the semifinals.

[Cut to Tyler Rayne staggering back under the fist of Irishred.]

TH V/O: Next quarterfinal match pitted Irishred against Tyler Rayne, and the rude dude of PRIME wasn’t faring so well early on. Red peppering him with right hands as is the custom on the mean streets of Yankton.

[Cut to Red with Rayne facing the corner.]

TH V/O: And here, we see Red giving Rayne his suggested daily serving of turnbuckle. You know, if I didn’t know any better, Red was doing the Underground Pimp a service here. After a few shots there, Red follows up with a bulldog.

[Cut to Rayne in the center of the ring with a slightly dazed Red.]

TH V/O: Rayne seizes control of the match and introduces Red to his right knee. First his gut, then his chest, and then, his face.

[Cut to Rayne with Red in the corner.]

TH V/O: Now that Red has been well-acquainted with Rayne’s knee, it’s time for more body parts. Like Rayne’s feet planting themselves in Red’s chest. Then his arms with that DDT. Then finally, his shins get in the action as Rayne springs to his feet and plants them right in Red’s back.

[Cut to Rayne running the ropes in one direction and Red in the other direction.]

TH V/O: Lights out for Red here as Rayne leaps, blasting Red in the chest with both his knees. Rayne calls that Foreplay, but I don’t think Red’s going to be frisky enough for the real thing afterwards. Rayne gets the pin and advances to the semifinals.

[Cut to Fusenshoff and Chris Bagwell trading chops.]

TH V/O: Next quarterfinal between EPW Television Champion Fusenshoff and GCW bad-boy Chris Bagwell, and these cats were going all Melton on each other in the early going. Choppy-choppy for Fuse, choppy-choppy for Bags. WHOO! for Fuse, WHOO! for Bags. Bags with a chop, then the Hoff with a chop. Both chests were red enough for the trainers to ice down after this match, lemme tell ya.

[Cut to Fuse with Bagwell in a front facelock.]

TH V/O: The Hoff gains control of the match after that and right here puts Bagwell down with a swinging neckbreaker.

[Cut to Bagwell with Fuse in a front waistlock.]

TH V/O: See-saw match, this one was. Bagwell here in control and tosses Fusenshoff half-way across the ring with that belly-to-belly.

[Cut to Fuse in front of Bagwell.]

TH V/O: I told you this was a see-saw match, and again, Fuse takes control, returning the favor on Bags and tossing him half-way across the ring with that T-Bone suplex.

[Cut to Bagwell with Fuse in a full nelson.]

TH V/O: Bagwell again in control, and here he breaks out the BIG weapon with the Dragon suplex. The pin attempt only nets him a two-count though.

[Cut to Bagwell with Fuse in position for a Rock Bottom.]

TH V/O: Bags looking to finish Fuse off, but as he’s going for his finisher, Fuse elbows him in the head once, twice, three times and counters it with an STO. He makes the quick cover on a stunned Bagwell and advances to the semifinals to await the winner of…

[Cut to Olvir Arsvinnar clutching Jay Phoenix by the head with his large hand.]

TH V/O: …Jay Phoenix and Olvir Arsvinnar. The massive Viking porn star has the upper hand early, grabbing Phoenix by the head like it’s a coconut and pounding away with his own head. You’d think those headbutts hurt Olvir, but his head looks thick enough to withstand a nuclear blast, so who knows.

[Cut to Phoenix peppering Arsvinnar with kicks to the legs.]

TH V/O: The Native American superstar is not one to be counted out, especially since he’s considerably more spry and sprightly than our Viking porn star friend. He’s working the big guy’s legs with several stiff kicks, trying to take him down.

[Cut to Arsvinnar face down laying on the second rope.]

TH V/O: And here, after getting the big guy in position with a drop toe-hold into those ropes, Phoenix follows up with a move he calls the Burn Out [The 619].

[Cut to Arsvinnar with Phoenix in a double handed elevated choke.]

TH V/O: But you can’t keep a man of Olvir’s size down for that long, and here he is choking the life out of Phoenix as the Eternal Flame’s feet dangle above the ring. The Viking then tosses Phoenix like it’s nothing half-way across the ring.

[Cut to Arsvinnar in front of a dazed, staggered Phoenix.]

TH V/O: Olvir going for the finish here, a move he calls the Mjollnir Blow. He clubs down, but Phoenix dodges out of the way, kicking Arsvinnar’s leg out of his leg and bringing him to his knees. Phoenix drops back then charges in and knocks the Viking’s lights out with a modified Shining Wizard. He gets the pin, advances, and Olvir will just have to get his wenches to fix him some lutefisk and mead for the consolation supper.

[Cue up The Mars Volta, “L’Via L’Viaquez” and cut to Tyler Rayne and Dusk staring each other down.]

TH V/O: When we come back, the semifinals, or, how Tyler Rayne and Dusk stopped worrying and learned to love mutually assured destruction.

[Cut to a commercial for Wii Fit.]

 

[TH]

[Cut right back to the arena, Jay Phoenix with Fusenshoff in an hammerlock.]

TH V/O: Semifinals, and the first one is Jay Phoenix against Fusenshoff. The Native American superstar got the upper hand early. Hammerlock, a few clubs to the back of his neck and then a bulldog with the hammerlock still applied.

[Cut to Phoenix reddening up Fuse’s chest.]

TH V/O: Phoenix continuing the offensive with the rapid fire knife edge chops, backing Fuse into the ropes. He then sends him flying into the other ropes and nails him with a knee to the face.

[Cut to Phoenix whipping Fuse into the corner.]

TH V/O: Fuse gets back into the match with this counter. He takes the Phoenix whip and sends the Eternal Flame chest-first into the corner, then follows it up with a Hornet Splash. That hurt my sternum just looking at it, a recipe for cracked ribs for sure.

[Cut to Phoenix with Fuse in a double underhook.]

TH V/O: Phoenix regains control quickly thereafter though, here driving Fusenshoff into the mat with a butterfly suplex.

[Cut to Fuse face-to-face with a dazed Phoenix.]

TH V/O: Fuse shortly after regains control of the match, and it looks like he can put the win in cruise control, although he’ll never ever do that or even admit to thinking about it. Here he is tossing Phoenix overhead like a sack of potatoes with that belly-to-belly.

[Cut to Phoenix on the outside of the ring trying to catch a breather.]

TH V/O: Phoenix was able to escape one Fuse onslaught, but the Killer from Kamloops is relentless, here reminding the Eternal Flame that there are no timeouts in wrestling. Tope suicida and a beauty, wiping out the PRIMEate and himself in a way too.

[Cut to Fuse lining up a shot on Phoenix.]

TH V/O: It didn’t affect Fuse that much, because he remained in control of the match, here he is showing off some of the brawling skills that brought him to the big dance. Right jab, left jab, right cross. Phoenix doesn’t go down, so Fuse whips him into the ropes and puts him on his rear end with a well-placed elbow to the chin.

[Cut to Fuse going to kick Phoenix in the gut.]

T H V/O: Fuse going for the finish here, looks like he’s going for the Whiskey Bomb, but Phoenix catches the kick and shoves him back. He then follows it up with Lights Out. [Superkick to the face]

[Cut to Phoenix on the top rope.]

TH V/O: Phoenix going for his own finish here and nails Fusenshoff with the Thunderstorm, [corkscrew moonsault] but Fuse kicks out.

[Cut to Phoenix with Fuse by the arm.]

TH V/O: Phoenix continues to try and put Fuse away, but he can’t, and here it’s his undoing. Fuse ducks the short-arm clothesline portion of his From the Ashes finisher and clubs Phoenix in the back of the head. He then turns him around and it’s Domination time. [Powerbomb to X-factor, Fuse remains standing] Phoenix is out and Fusenshoff advances to the finals.

[Cut to Tyler Rayne kicking Dusk’s leg.]

TH V/O: We go from a one PRIMEate semifinal to two of the fed’s own in the other one. Tyler Rayne and Dusk, and Rayne starts off targeting Dusk’s weakened left knee. Short kicks to Dusk’s leg, and the Lost Soul is in trouble early.

[Cut to Rayne behind Dusk.]

TH V/O: The Underground Pimp continuing to work on Dusk’s bad wheel here with a shinbuster. It’s a wonder how Dusk can even walk let alone compete after the damage he’s taken in this round and the previous one, but he continues on.

[Cut to Dusk whipping Rayne off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Dusk gets his legs, or leg I should say, back under him and gets some semblance of control in this match. Here he whips Rayne off the ropes and hits him with an inverted Tiger suplex. Smart move by Dusk there, using the momentum from the whip aid his execution.

[Cut to Dusk whipping Rayne off the ropes again.]

TH V/O: With his knee the way it is, Dusk has to rely on the whip for most of his offense, and he does just that here, planting a shoulder right in Rayne’s gut. The shock sends Rayne right on his backside, and Dusk follows it up with a right kick right to the back of Rayne’s head.

[Cut to Dusk with Rayne tangled in the ropes.]

TH V/O: Rayne in a world of trouble here, and Dusk takes advantage of his foe in the tangled web with a knee right to his unprotected face.

[Cut to Dusk attempting to whip Rayne into the ropes.]

TH V/O: All good things must come to an end, and for Dusk, that means his knee putting an end to his offensive. Rayne reverses the Irish whip, and before Dusk can hit the ropes, his left knee gives out, causing him to collapse like a ton of bricks.

[Cut to Rayne with Dusk’s left leg, Dusk laying on his back.]

TH V/O: Rayne continuing to work over that leg, and here he is putting Dusk in a single-leg Walls of Jericoholic here. Dusk biting his lip, trying to keep the pain from getting to him, and he does because he doesn’t tap there.

[Cut to Rayne outside the ring with Dusk on his back, straddling the ringpost.]

TH V/O: The Underground Pimp is just relentless, here ramming Dusk’s knee into the solid steel ringpost several times and then following that up with a Figure Four around the post. Rayne lucky that referee Jimmy Louis is very liberal with his ring out count.

[Cut to Rayne holding a standing Dusk’s left leg.]

TH V/O: Rayne trying to continue on his onslaught, but Dusk has some fight left in him. He counters an attempt at a Dragon whip with an enziguri kick and he’s back in business.

[Cut to Dusk on the top rope.]

TH V/O: The Lost Soul getting a bit desperate, reverting back to some of his faux-cruiser days as he flies through the air and hits a staggered Rayne with a flying cross-body.

[Cut to Dusk lining up Rayne.]

TH V/O: Dusk looking for the finish, lining up for his Shattered Glass superkick and it looks like he’s about to connect when Rayne grabs the leg, which happens to be Dusk’s banged up left, and twists it around. He counters into an STF and it’s all over from there. Dusk is in the middle of the ring, unable to get to the ropes for a break. He taps out, most likely wanting to save his career, and Rayne moves onto the finals.

[Cue up “L’Via L’Viaquez”, cut to Tyler Rayne and Fusenshoff in a test of strength.]

TH V/O: A battle of wills, a test of strength… the Finals highlights, coming up next!

[Cut to a commercial for TGI Fridays.]

 

[TH]

[Cut back to the ring, Fusenshoff and Tyler Rayne locked in a test of strength.]

TH V/O: Back, and the finals, for all the marbles, Fusenshoff and Tyler Rayne, and we start off with a test of strength, the ultimate feeling out move in the game. Rayne exerts leverage early on, but Fuse battles back, leaning over. Before he can push Rayne all the way down, the Underground Pimp strikes with one knee to the gut, two knees to the gut, three knees to the gut, ah ah ah. He breaks the hold and gains the early advantage.

[Cut to Rayne whipping Fuse into the ropes.]

TH V/O: Rayne here using his favorite weapon, his knee, driving it right into the gut of the Hoff with this kitchen sink knee lift. Ouchies.

[Cut to Rayne scooping Fuse up.]

TH V/O: Again, with the knee, Rayne drives it this time in the form of a gutbuster, shades of the former MBE Champion Maggot. It’s a wonder that Fuse isn’t spitting up blood here, but hey, he’s from the Canadian Rockies. He’s tough…

[Cut to Fuse in front of Rayne.]
TH V/O: …and he shows it here. Serial elbows to the face, and after that, the Hoff sends Rayne into the corner where he levels him with a jumping lariat.

[Cut to Fuse in front of a doubled over Rayne.]

TH V/O: Fuse showing off some of his neckbreaking skills with this swinging number. Rayne falls to the canvas hard, but he’s not out of this match.

[Cut to Rayne in front of Fuse.]

TH V/O: Here we see the Underground Pimp show off some of his non-knee related technical skills and throw down suplexes with the Hoff, Northern Light style. He bridges for the pin, but Fuse kicks out at two.

[Cut to Fuse running the ropes .]

TH V/O: Fusenshoff doesn’t stay down for too long and is back in control of the match in what turned out to be a pretty see-saw-esque affair. He’s running the ropes and check this move out. He goes in for what looks to be a clothesline, but he wraps around into a sleeperhold and then in one fell swoop, he drops down with the sleeper neckbreaker. Pretty neat, huh?

[Cut to Rayne whipping Fuse off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Again though, this is a see-saw affair, and Rayne bounces back into control. Here we see him pull off one of his cool combos, whipping Fuse off the ropes. He drops to one knee and gives him a palm to the gut, screaming like “Enter the Dragon” era Bruce Lee. Then, he gets up and nails him with a double-arm DDT, segueing right into the Rings of Saturn.

[Cut to Rayne whipping Fuse into the ropes.]

TH V/O: Again, the Hoff comes back, this time on a sick counter. Rayne whips Fusenshoff into the ropes and on the rebound goes for a clothesline, but Fuse ducks it and in one swift motion, nails him with a hangman’s neckbreaker.

[Cut to Fuse with Rayne in a standing headscissors.]

TH V/O: Fuse able to sustain more than just a few moves offense here, and one of the highlights from this set is this sweet Memphis-style piledriver. This might finish a lesser opponent, but Rayne kicks out of the near-fall and comes back strong.

[Cut to Rayne whipping Fuse off the ropes.]

TH V/O: Rayne again attempting offense out of the whip, and this time it’s successful, launching the Hoff halfway across the ring with a hurricanrana.

[Cut to Fuse with Rayne in a standing cradle.]

TH V/O: Fuse though explodes back with… an Exploder suplex! Aha-ha, I am so funny.

[Cut to Fuse with Rayne in a standing headscissors.]

TH V/O: The Hoff trying to put Rayne away with an attempt at Domination, but Rayne counters it at the height of the powerbomb motion and launches him again with another ‘rana. Rayne is deadly with those counters, showing skill that will almost certainly net him the PRIME Universal Championship someday.

[Cut to Rayne with Fuse in the corner.]

TH V/O: And again, the Underground Pimp using his knees like WMDs, planting them systematically into the gut of the Hoff. He then takes a few steps back and charges in with a running knee right to Fuse’s gut. Again, it’s a miracle that Fuse isn’t coughing up blood here.

[Cut to Rayne looking to set up on Fuse.]

TH V/O: Rayne, feeling his oats, looking for a finish tries to grab Fuse, but he blocks and amazingly hits him with the Whiskey Bomb [X-Factor into a Fame-Asser]. This finishes most people, but Rayne kicks out. Fuse is stunned and he picks Rayne up, but Rayne breaks free of Fuse’s grip, bounces back off the ropes and nails him with Foreplay. He covers, but Fuse kicks out.

[Cut to Rayne on the top rope.]

TH V/O: Rayne sizes up Fuse from the air, going for the finish, but unlike at other points in the match, the ‘rana attempt doesn’t work, and Fuse counters it into a powerbomb. The trophy is almost in reach…

[Cut to Fuse with Rayne in a standing headscissors.]

TH V/O: …going for what we can only imagine is going to be Domination, but Rayne counters it with an uppercutting headbutt to Fuse’s groin. Fuse doubles over, and Rayne takes the advantage to hook the leg and… Fusenshoff gets VARGA’D! He keeps it hooked for the pin… one… two and three! Tyler Rayne does it, he is the 2008 TEAM Tournament of Champions winner. As you see, it was me who came down and awarded him the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy when it was all said and done. Again, Tyler Rayne, winner of the 2008 TEAM Tournament of Champions.

[Cut back to the studio.]

TH: That’s it for this special edition of EPICENTER. As always, I’m Tom Holzerman, wishing you a good night and a happy holiday season!

[Fade to the TEAM logo.]

 

[TH]

CREDITS:
Writeup - Holzerman
Judging - Holzerman, Brunk, Justin Stalker, Karl Brown, Lindz, Pete R., Ross "The Argyle" Fynmore, Dave Hurst, Jarret Aubry