TH
Active member
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2004
- Messages
- 2,953
- Points
- 36
- Age
- 43
- Location
- Philadelphia
- Website
- wallsofjerichoholic.blogspot.com
[Cue up Emerson, Lake and Palmer, “Karn Evil 9: First Impression, Part Two”. Fade into a shot of Tyler Rayne trading shots with IrishRed.]
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We’re so glad you could attend. Come inside come inside.
[Cut to Wraith with Myles Jake over his head in a gorilla press. Out of nowhere, Larry Tact dropkicks Wraith in the back, causing human wreckage~!]
There behind the glass is a real blade of grass. Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.
[Cut to Jay Phoenix whipping Fusenshoff off the ropes, with Phoenix retaliating with a headscissors]
Come on, see the show!
[Cut to Dusk coming at Ravager with a cross-body block.]
Come on, see the show!
[Cut to Troy Douglas coming at both James Varga and Chris Bagwell with a flying double clothesline.]
Come on, see the shooooowwwwww…
[Cut to Olvir Arsvinnar screaming primally]
[Flash cut to every superstar participating in this year’s ToC as the closing flourish of the song fills the air.]
Seeeee the shooooooowwwww!!!
[Fade into the TEAM studios where Tom Holzerman sits behind the news desk.]
TH: Hello everyone, and welcome to a special EPICENTER event, recapping this year’s TEAM Tournament of Champions. The ToC was brought to you live on ASN from the San Francisco Bay area, and we have two solid nights of action to highlight for you, ending with the presentation of the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy to someone you might not have expected going into this thing.
[Cut to a close-up of Holzerman with a “Battle Royale” inset behind him.]
TH: Of course, it’s hard to have a one-night tournament with almost twenty competitors, so the night before the big dance in Oakland, we had to do the Battle Royale thing at the Cow Palace in San Jose.
[Cut to the ring with all 18 competitors inside.]
TH V/O: It was a veritable sea of wrestlers in there as all eighteen men and zero women, a first in ToC history, couldn’t wait to start wailing on each other like a bar rumble without the booze.
[Cut to Larry Tact rumbling with Mikey Massacre.]
TH V/O: Our first elimination of the evening came here, with Mikey Massacre whiffing on a wide haymaker and Larry Tact sending him to the floor unceremoniously, giving him a wedgie and the heave-ho.
[Cut to Tyler Rayne trading shots with Myles Jake.]
TH V/O: The venerable Myles Jake has led a long, fruitful life, but his ToC run was pretty short as he was the next to go. Trading shots with Tyler Rayne isn’t a good idea, but near the ropes? Rayne sends the Jake over the top with that haymaker.
[Cut to Wraith with Jesse Jamester in a gorilla press position.]
TH V/O: Wraith looking like he’s going to eliminate Jesse Jamester here, but out of nowhere comes Troy Douglas, from behind with the dropkick to Wraith’s back. The big man from A1E drops Jamester and stumbles forward, but before he can gain his balance, Douglas nails him with ANOTHER dropkick and sends him over the top rope. However, the EPW Intercontinental Champion admires his conquest just a little too long as Fusenshoff takes the opportunity to eliminate him.
[Cut to Jamester with Irishred by the wrist.]
TH V/O: Speaking of Jesse Jamester, he’s looking like he’s going to send Irishred for a ride, but Red reverses the Irish whip. The crafty South Dakotan takes Jamester on the rebound and back body drops him over the top rope, eliminating him.
[Cut to Fusenshoff in the corner with Cameron Cruise facing him on the second rope.]
TH V/O: Cameron Cruise getting into the action here, wailing on Fusenshoff, but Fuse blocks one of his punches and just out-muscling the TWW Champion overhead and to the floor.
[Cut to Chad Kurtis and James Varga brawling.]
TH V/O: James Varga and Ravager getting their brawl on. Varga misses wide on a clothesline and Ravager takes advantage with a back suplex over the ropes to eliminate the Dark Lord of the Wrestling Sith.
[Cut to Chad Kurtis running the ropes towards Ken Cloverleaf.]
TH V/O: Ken Cloverleaf getting into the action here, whipping Chad Kurtis into the ropes and setting him up for elimination. Cloverleaf tosses him over the ropes, but Kurtis hangs on. Cloverleaf prematurely celebrates, and Kurtis grabs him by the neck, spins him around and suplexes him over the top. But Kurtis has no time to rest, as Rayne sees an opportunity and charges into Kurtis, knocking him to the floor before he can get back into the ring.
[Cut to Chris Bagwell and Larry Tact brawling around the ropes.]
TH V/O: Nine men left, one more out and we get our eight for the tournament. Tact here brawling with Chris Bagwell and out of NOWHERE, Olvir Arsvinnar runs into both men, sending them over the top. They both seem to land at the same time, which wouldn’t present a problem if it cut the tournament segment short one man. Refs went under the hood to review it, and as you see here:
[Cut to the slo-mo instant replay]
TH V/O: Larry Tact’s back lands on the mat first and Chris Bagwell lands on top of him. So Bagwell advances to the tournament. Too bad for Larry Tact. So close yet so far.
[Cue up “L’Via L’Viaquez” by The Mars Volta. Cut to a shot of Ravager grappling with Dusk.]
TH V/O: When we come back from commercial, we’ll take a look at the Tournament proper from the Oracle Arena, where Dusk battled Ravager in the first round, among others.
[Cut to a commercial for the Spirit.]
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends. We’re so glad you could attend. Come inside come inside.
[Cut to Wraith with Myles Jake over his head in a gorilla press. Out of nowhere, Larry Tact dropkicks Wraith in the back, causing human wreckage~!]
There behind the glass is a real blade of grass. Be careful as you pass, move along, move along.
[Cut to Jay Phoenix whipping Fusenshoff off the ropes, with Phoenix retaliating with a headscissors]
Come on, see the show!
[Cut to Dusk coming at Ravager with a cross-body block.]
Come on, see the show!
[Cut to Troy Douglas coming at both James Varga and Chris Bagwell with a flying double clothesline.]
Come on, see the shooooowwwwww…
[Cut to Olvir Arsvinnar screaming primally]
[Flash cut to every superstar participating in this year’s ToC as the closing flourish of the song fills the air.]
Seeeee the shooooooowwwww!!!
[Fade into the TEAM studios where Tom Holzerman sits behind the news desk.]
TH: Hello everyone, and welcome to a special EPICENTER event, recapping this year’s TEAM Tournament of Champions. The ToC was brought to you live on ASN from the San Francisco Bay area, and we have two solid nights of action to highlight for you, ending with the presentation of the Harvard Avalon Memorial Trophy to someone you might not have expected going into this thing.
[Cut to a close-up of Holzerman with a “Battle Royale” inset behind him.]
TH: Of course, it’s hard to have a one-night tournament with almost twenty competitors, so the night before the big dance in Oakland, we had to do the Battle Royale thing at the Cow Palace in San Jose.
[Cut to the ring with all 18 competitors inside.]
TH V/O: It was a veritable sea of wrestlers in there as all eighteen men and zero women, a first in ToC history, couldn’t wait to start wailing on each other like a bar rumble without the booze.
[Cut to Larry Tact rumbling with Mikey Massacre.]
TH V/O: Our first elimination of the evening came here, with Mikey Massacre whiffing on a wide haymaker and Larry Tact sending him to the floor unceremoniously, giving him a wedgie and the heave-ho.
[Cut to Tyler Rayne trading shots with Myles Jake.]
TH V/O: The venerable Myles Jake has led a long, fruitful life, but his ToC run was pretty short as he was the next to go. Trading shots with Tyler Rayne isn’t a good idea, but near the ropes? Rayne sends the Jake over the top with that haymaker.
[Cut to Wraith with Jesse Jamester in a gorilla press position.]
TH V/O: Wraith looking like he’s going to eliminate Jesse Jamester here, but out of nowhere comes Troy Douglas, from behind with the dropkick to Wraith’s back. The big man from A1E drops Jamester and stumbles forward, but before he can gain his balance, Douglas nails him with ANOTHER dropkick and sends him over the top rope. However, the EPW Intercontinental Champion admires his conquest just a little too long as Fusenshoff takes the opportunity to eliminate him.
[Cut to Jamester with Irishred by the wrist.]
TH V/O: Speaking of Jesse Jamester, he’s looking like he’s going to send Irishred for a ride, but Red reverses the Irish whip. The crafty South Dakotan takes Jamester on the rebound and back body drops him over the top rope, eliminating him.
[Cut to Fusenshoff in the corner with Cameron Cruise facing him on the second rope.]
TH V/O: Cameron Cruise getting into the action here, wailing on Fusenshoff, but Fuse blocks one of his punches and just out-muscling the TWW Champion overhead and to the floor.
[Cut to Chad Kurtis and James Varga brawling.]
TH V/O: James Varga and Ravager getting their brawl on. Varga misses wide on a clothesline and Ravager takes advantage with a back suplex over the ropes to eliminate the Dark Lord of the Wrestling Sith.
[Cut to Chad Kurtis running the ropes towards Ken Cloverleaf.]
TH V/O: Ken Cloverleaf getting into the action here, whipping Chad Kurtis into the ropes and setting him up for elimination. Cloverleaf tosses him over the ropes, but Kurtis hangs on. Cloverleaf prematurely celebrates, and Kurtis grabs him by the neck, spins him around and suplexes him over the top. But Kurtis has no time to rest, as Rayne sees an opportunity and charges into Kurtis, knocking him to the floor before he can get back into the ring.
[Cut to Chris Bagwell and Larry Tact brawling around the ropes.]
TH V/O: Nine men left, one more out and we get our eight for the tournament. Tact here brawling with Chris Bagwell and out of NOWHERE, Olvir Arsvinnar runs into both men, sending them over the top. They both seem to land at the same time, which wouldn’t present a problem if it cut the tournament segment short one man. Refs went under the hood to review it, and as you see here:
[Cut to the slo-mo instant replay]
TH V/O: Larry Tact’s back lands on the mat first and Chris Bagwell lands on top of him. So Bagwell advances to the tournament. Too bad for Larry Tact. So close yet so far.
[Cue up “L’Via L’Viaquez” by The Mars Volta. Cut to a shot of Ravager grappling with Dusk.]
TH V/O: When we come back from commercial, we’ll take a look at the Tournament proper from the Oracle Arena, where Dusk battled Ravager in the first round, among others.
[Cut to a commercial for the Spirit.]