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The most diabolical hater..

ViewersChoice

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
58
Points
0
Age
44
Location
Bethlehem, PA
...this side of the Lehigh River (It's in Bethlehem, PA)

(FADEIN to Jerome Henderson, wearing a lime green suit with a matching fedora. He's wielding a cane, and has a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. Jerome speaks with a much more exaggerated voice than ever before..)

JEROME HENDERSON: Mittens the Cat, I showed your punk ass exactly what J-NASTY, Jerome Henderson, is all about. See, I'm not down with some n**ga comin' out here and spittin' his game, wearing a big-ass pink cat suit. Not down wit' it at all. That's why I did what I did at On Time, and unless you want it to get UGLY like yo' MAMA, you best back off, and at the same time, shut yo' mouth... besides, I'm tired of seein' through that mask, and lookin' at those gap teeth o' yours. Ni**a can eat a hot dog without even openin' his mouf'.

So if you know what's best for your skank ass, you'll do what I've seen you've done already, and pretend that the incident at On Time never happened. I know you ain't bright. I know you 'bout as stupid as Jessica Simpson, so just let it go, man... let it go.

Until I return to hate on each and every one of you dirty, rotten, stinkin', nasty, filthy, muthaf**kas... keep it greazy.

(FADEOUT...)
 

Mittens

League Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2004
Messages
14
Points
0
Age
36
Location
ATL, HO~!
(A podium. Standing behind said podium: Mittens T. Cat, and the cat head he's wearing this time has a big open mouth and closed eyes, as though laughing. Fake, cardboard cut outs of people with cameras and raised hands are strewn about the room as though it was a press conference, but it was obviously anything but.)

What can I say about Jerome Henderson, other than the fact that his teeth... are as yellow as the taxi I banged his mother in last night? What can I say about Jerome Henderson, other than the fact that he borrowed his mother's dog costume that I bought for her... just so he'd be my bitch? What can I say about Jerome Henderson, besides whats already been said?

Jerome Henderson, you are a trick. A bitch. A trick-assed bitch. A bitch-assed trick. You are a freak, a freeloader, and a loadswallower. You swallow and you spit. You spit and you swallow.

You have sex with goats, Jerome Henderson. Chickens and goats, you goat f**ker.

(A pimply faced kid in the background yells: OOOOOOOOH, GOT 'IM! Mittens does a celebration pelvic thrust, and then begins humping the living crap out of the podium, until finally he knocks it off of the stage.)

Jerome Henderson, me and you at On Time-- I'll whoop dat ass. Oh, and your lovely girlfriend/trick/ho/bitch/sister will be there to watch, WHOO YEAH~!

Eat it, suck on it.
 

ViewersChoice

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
58
Points
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Age
44
Location
Bethlehem, PA
(FADEIN to Jerome Henderson, walking into a club. Jerome's wearing a canary yellow suit, again, wielding his cane. He walks up to the bar..)

JEROME HENDERSON: Let me have a 40 of OE.

BARTENDER: Man, this is a club, we don't sell 40's here. If you want a 40, hit up that pizza joint down the street.

JEROME HENDERSON: Just like I hit up yo girlfriend last night. She's a regular Paris Hilton.. ask your pops for the tape, cuz he sure did enjoy taping it.

BARTENDER: Man, you don't talk to me like that... you don't know who I am.

JEROME HENDERSON: For all I know, you could be the cracka who hides in that pink cat suit, and brings a good game to the table against this guy. Well I'll tell you.. what does the backhand say to the face? SUH-MACK!

(The guy looks confused, as Jerome b**ch-smacks him across the face. The club's owner rolls up to the bar, as the bartender complains to him..)

OWNER: Did you just get b**ch-slapped? (shakes head) I've been waiting for you to show up here, J-NASTY.. the most diabolical hater this side of the Lehigh River.

JEROME HENDERSON: Step aside, pasty. I hate you, and I don't even know you. J-NASTY's here to check out the ladies, and hate on the fat b**ches. You know who else I'm here to hate on? Mittens the Cat. I hee' that he spends his time here..

OWNER: Actually, he goes to the gay club down the block.

JEROME HENDERSON: Giving reach-arounds to Siegfried and Roy, I'm sure. His cat suit is pink, just like his vagina... I always knew he was a b**ch. I've got to say that I'm not impressed with your verbal assaults, Mittens. Callin' me a goat-f**ker? I'm not a goat-fu**er, but I am a motha-fu**er. Ask your mom, that b**ch sure was screamin' the other night. She told me to say hi to her son, that mark-ass-mark, that trick-ass-trick, that stupid, dirrty, smelly, tuna-fish eatin', co**-sucking b**ch ass mutha-fu**a.

OWNER: Are they gonna air this sh*t on tv? You're cursing like every other word.

JEROME HENDERSON: You shut'cho mouth. (Jerome backhand slaps the owner across the face) Mittens, you come down to the ring in that dumbass outfit that you wear, and say your prayers that J-NASTY is in a good mood, so he don't smack the sh*t out of your ass. So until next time, say yo' prayers, take yo' vit'mins, and smoke that chronic, because yo' ass is gonna need to be high to deal with the ass-whooping I'll be giving to you.

(The owner stands up, only for Jerome to smack him across the face again, knocking him down... FADEOUT)
 

GreggG

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Jan 1, 2000
Messages
810
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18
OWNER: Did you just get b**ch-slapped? (shakes head) I've been waiting for you to show up here, J-NASTY.. the most diabolical hater this side of the Lehigh River.


That's one of the funniest lines in months...

This feud rules. A hoodie from Northhampton, PA versus a maniac in a cat suit.
 

Mittens

League Member
Joined
Apr 11, 2004
Messages
14
Points
0
Age
36
Location
ATL, HO~!
(The gay club afore mentioned down the street, known as Petey's Peters, seemed packed [Author's note: ROTFL]. On the balcony, at a table, Mittens... by himself, watching the patrons of the bar dance to big hits such as: It's Raining Men, It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To, Y.M.C.A., and Karma Kameleon.)

Mittens T. Cat: Ah, Mr. Henderson. Of course, that's "J-Nasty" talkin'. J-Nasty got his nickname by doing the "nasty" with a giant goat in this very club. Speaking of this club, Jerome, you c*ck sucker, Sigfried and Roy don't hang out here. Last time I checked, your mother was filming a video with a Northampton Steamer with them. Of course, Jerome knows what a Northampton Steamer is. His daddy gave him one yesterday. It just so happens that a Northampton Steamer is when someone takes a big crap on your chest. Jerome's used to taking sh*t, though, so it'd be no surprise he'd let someone do it on his chest.

(The HARDKORPUZZAY~! clears his throat.)

Mittens: By the way, I don't hang out here... I own this joint. Homosexuals are a minority, but a minority with money. I'm merely making sure nothing goes wrong. But whatever, I guess *I'M* the a$$%@#*. Then again, Jerome loves a$$%@#*. Just ask Boy George, he'll tell you. He's a frequent visitor at my club of homosexuality.

Mittens: Speaking of diabolical, your mama enjoyed my balls yesterday. Her tongue... her tongue is very diabolical. Of course, you know all about your mom/girlfriend/f***buddy's tongue, don't you Jerome... you nasty, nasty slut.

Mittens: Of course you do. Regardless of all of that, though, maybe I WILL COME DOWN TO THE RING IN MY DUMBASS CAT OUTFIT, AND SAY MY PRAYERS... BUT I'LL PRAY THAT YOU ACTUALLY CAN HANDLE THE SHEER AMOUNT OF *AWESOMENESS*, THAT IS THE HARDKORPUZZAY~! EAT IT, B****! LONG! LONG!

SKEET, SKEET!!!
 

ViewersChoice

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
58
Points
0
Age
44
Location
Bethlehem, PA
(FADEIN to "J-Nasty", Jerome Henderson, the most diabolical hater this side of the Lehigh River. He's actually walking along the Lehigh River, somewhere between Bethlehem and Allentown. Random joggers pass, wearing their workout gear.. while J-Nasty is wearing a royal blue pinstripe suit. He's walking with his cane, as usual..)

J-NASTY: I just don't unda'stand why Mittens doesn't leave well enough alone. He'd ratha' have me bring the flava' to the ring, than shut his dick-hole.. that's right, I said it, dickhole. I was told that Mittens got that cat outfit by suckin' the previous owner's trouser snake. Oh yeah, and just how guys like GUNS and Randalls drink their energy drinks, I'm sure, Mittens ha a PROTEIN SHAKE of his own. That's how he does it, and I'm told he does it well.. that sick muthaf**ka.

Many people ask me what the significance of being the most diabolical hater this side of the Lehigh means. Well there's the Lehigh... below it, there's another notorious hater, who's waiting to make his presence known in the CSWA.. and it sure ain't Mittens. That stupid BEYATCH actually believes that he can keep it going with someone like myself.

He calls himself the hardcore pussay, or something like that. The only thing hardcore about pu**y in relation to him is the foul b**ch I saw him hookin' up with last night. The girl might as well have been named Arby, because she was definitely home of the roast beef.. but that's just what I heard.

(Two random joggers run by, J-Nasty trips one up with his cane..)

J-NASTY: That's what you get, b**ch.

(The jogger stands up and stares on angrily at Jerome. J-Nasty breaks into a Matrix poses, motioning for the jogger to come get him. The jogger runs at him, and Jerome side-steps him... then giving him a back-rake. The jogger's wife looks on in terror..)

JOGGER'S WIFE: NOOOOO! Not the backrake from hell! Actually, this is kind of arousing..

(The jogger goes to stand up, as Jerome drops down and gives him another back-rake, leaving him in utter pain..)

J-NASTY: I just beat up your boy, why don't you show me them t**ties?

(We see the woman from behind, lifting her shirt... Jerome gets a sh*t-eating grin on his face. Her husband tries to get up, but Jerome gives him a judo-chop to the back of the neck..)

J-NASTY: Mittens, I'll be back to hate on you some mo', but fo' now I've got to get back to take care of business..

(J-NASTY takes the woman's hand, and they walk off into the parking lot, getting in to J-NASTY'S low-rider. Cue-up "Yeah" by Usher and Lil' John, as they speed out of the parking lot... fade to black..)
 

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