Scene Opens
(The camera passes through the doorway of a house straight out of some kind of suburban nightmare, revealing a well kept, almost pristine household complete with log fire, well furnished living room and air of happiness. We progress through the house, coming to the kitchen where TT McGraw is happily at the stove, cooking something we cannot see in a pot. He quietly hums the tune from 'Different Strokes' as he works away, carefree in his attitude as he adds some spices to the saucepan. He turns and smiles at the camera, he is wearing a black cooking apron with 'Jesus was a wrestler' written in big white lettering on it...)
McGraw: Oh, hello friends, I didn't hear you come in..
TT makes his way around the waist-high work surface in front of him and stands fully in view in front of the camera. It looks supiciouslly as if he isn't wearing any pants due to the unwelcome appearance of his bare legs.
McGraw: You wont know me - I'm new to the neighborhood - but I was just dying to introduce myself. You can call me TT McGraw....or just TT.....or just McGraw. Come to think of it, you can call me whatever you want just so long as I know you're speaking to me.
Now I'd like to tell you a little about myself, if you'd be so kind as to listen I'd be ever so grateful. I was born in Manchester (that's in England) but I've lived in Iowa for a long, long time now. I enjoy poetry, romantic comedies and a good pair of slacks. I'm a professional wrestler by trade but I also enjoy cooking and fishing...
He seems to think for a moment before his eyes widen a little and he looks back at the camera:
McGraw: Oh yeah, once I caught this massive Haddock. I mean seriously that mother was big. And then when we got it into the boat it started, like, wriggling and my friend Jerry - he's a really cool guy, smells a little but aside from that he's fun to hang out with, plays Everquest a lot..................er.....
He pauses again
McGraw: I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't really know where I was going with that.....that's probably a good thing actually, Jerry get's offended easily.
Look, let me level with you. The reason I invited you in here today was to explain a few things; first is that I'm here for 2 reasons: 1. To make friends 2. To win things, and however much it may pain me to have to fight my friends I'm pretty sure I have the cajones to do it. The other thing I wanted to explain to you is that, while i'm a nice guy, I can be nasty, and I apologise in advance if I do anything that you fans don't like. I've done things before that I havn't been proud of and i'm sure I'll do them again, but I love my work, and I love my life and I want to keep the good times rolling.
So I wish you all a good journey and, in the words of the Virgin Mary - "Come again".
(The scene closes with McGraw turning and walking up the stairs, giving the viewers a full-shot of his hairy rear end. He dissapears upstairs and the camera closes in on the pot; it's full of a dark, half-cooked meat. There are dark crimson stains on edges and the handle and, as the camera moves down, a scarlet stain on the floor is revealed. The camera fades to black)
Scene Ends
(The camera passes through the doorway of a house straight out of some kind of suburban nightmare, revealing a well kept, almost pristine household complete with log fire, well furnished living room and air of happiness. We progress through the house, coming to the kitchen where TT McGraw is happily at the stove, cooking something we cannot see in a pot. He quietly hums the tune from 'Different Strokes' as he works away, carefree in his attitude as he adds some spices to the saucepan. He turns and smiles at the camera, he is wearing a black cooking apron with 'Jesus was a wrestler' written in big white lettering on it...)
McGraw: Oh, hello friends, I didn't hear you come in..
TT makes his way around the waist-high work surface in front of him and stands fully in view in front of the camera. It looks supiciouslly as if he isn't wearing any pants due to the unwelcome appearance of his bare legs.
McGraw: You wont know me - I'm new to the neighborhood - but I was just dying to introduce myself. You can call me TT McGraw....or just TT.....or just McGraw. Come to think of it, you can call me whatever you want just so long as I know you're speaking to me.
Now I'd like to tell you a little about myself, if you'd be so kind as to listen I'd be ever so grateful. I was born in Manchester (that's in England) but I've lived in Iowa for a long, long time now. I enjoy poetry, romantic comedies and a good pair of slacks. I'm a professional wrestler by trade but I also enjoy cooking and fishing...
He seems to think for a moment before his eyes widen a little and he looks back at the camera:
McGraw: Oh yeah, once I caught this massive Haddock. I mean seriously that mother was big. And then when we got it into the boat it started, like, wriggling and my friend Jerry - he's a really cool guy, smells a little but aside from that he's fun to hang out with, plays Everquest a lot..................er.....
He pauses again
McGraw: I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't really know where I was going with that.....that's probably a good thing actually, Jerry get's offended easily.
Look, let me level with you. The reason I invited you in here today was to explain a few things; first is that I'm here for 2 reasons: 1. To make friends 2. To win things, and however much it may pain me to have to fight my friends I'm pretty sure I have the cajones to do it. The other thing I wanted to explain to you is that, while i'm a nice guy, I can be nasty, and I apologise in advance if I do anything that you fans don't like. I've done things before that I havn't been proud of and i'm sure I'll do them again, but I love my work, and I love my life and I want to keep the good times rolling.
So I wish you all a good journey and, in the words of the Virgin Mary - "Come again".
(The scene closes with McGraw turning and walking up the stairs, giving the viewers a full-shot of his hairy rear end. He dissapears upstairs and the camera closes in on the pot; it's full of a dark, half-cooked meat. There are dark crimson stains on edges and the handle and, as the camera moves down, a scarlet stain on the floor is revealed. The camera fades to black)
Scene Ends