jediPREZ
Shadowboss
[updated:LAST EDITED ON Jul-30-02 AT 02:41 PM (EDT)] FADEIN: Sweetwater, Texas - 1:00 AM. Kendall Barry's Gym, an old rundown type of place that local wrestlers usually hang out and train at. Some posters of TROY and MARK WINDHAM hang on the wall - obviously 'cause they're local legends. There's action going in the squared circle - dimly lit by 3 lightbulbs. 'COCKY' CRAIG MILES and 'HOT PROPERTY' EDDIE MAYFIELD are practicing counters and reversals in the ring. MILES grabs MAYFIELD with a double leg-takedown, which gets countered by a legsweep. MAYFIELD jumps up first waistlocking MILES, who grabs MAYFIELD by the wrist and somersaults him pver into a Rolling Cradle Pin, which MAYFIELD kicks out of. Both men get up to their feet quickly smiling at each other. Both PROS notice the camera getting closer, smirk at each other and relax...MAYFIELD reaches into a duffel bag, hanging on one of the turnbuckles and pulls out some cigarettes - tossing one to MILES. MILES sticks it behind his ear and turns to face the camera as MAYFIELD lights his up...and sits on the top turnbuckle behind MILES.
MILES: "You know what REALLY drives me crazy? When somebody wastes MY time. (points back at MAYFIELD) Me and Eddie actually were SURPRISED to see a tape arrive at the Holiday Inn marked 'SIMPLY STUNNING'. Hell, Eddie lost money thinkin' you boys weren't even gonna say a word before your execution - MILITIA style this weekend. (MAYFIELD nods and shakes his head while smoking...) You always have the right to remain silent before you enter a court of law, gentlemen. But once again before the JUDGEMENT DAY at hand - Simply Stunning provide the world with their constant something about nothing their OPPONENTS care about. (MILES turns to MAYFIELD) You wanna take Miss Smithfield on?"
MAYFIELD (pleading with his hands): "Hell no - I ain't takin' nothin' on that smells worse than the Fish Market."
MILES: "Always leaving me with the dirty work, thanks. (MAYFIELD shrugs and continues to smoke...MILES turns back to the camera) Well, Miss Smithfield - I don't know where you get your research from...I don't know if it's the shampoo you use, either. All I know is that your head smells like it's been up your (BLEEP!) if you think ANYONE gives a RAT'S (BLEEP!) about what Michael Hardy or Simon Wilcox have to say...You've got to be living in some FAIRY GUMDROP HAPPY UNIVERSE if you think there's some (MILES quotes the air) 'MARKET FORCE' behind Simply Stunning. Miss Smithfield - I RUN A WRESTLING FEDERATION. I know talent when I see it...and what you've got on your hands right now are two DEAD fish just waitin' to FRY. NOBODY likes them, EXCEPT...MAYBE...the wrestling fan into the pink tassle thing. Wilcox and Hardy don't know how to carry a match, or let alone wear a title belt with DIGNITY. I've NEVER seen a team that has failed SOOOOO MISERABLY in building up a feud. You've been working with the PROFESSIONALS! THE PEE-ARE-OHs of the Wrestling World. What COULD have and SHOULD have been your moment in the sun for your wrestling LIVES is now going to be one LITTLE footnote. When we're DONE with you, you'll be remembered more for your good riddance than your last stand. And Press Conferences? PRESS CONFERENCES? WHO THE HELL attends Simply Stunning Press Conferences? I saw the list of attendees listed at SEVEN. And who are they? You, Wilcox, Hardy, a Cameraman, a Janitor in Reno and some Internet flunkies that are still hoping they win this years 'Sleep with Teri Melton' Fish Fund raffle as well - I wonder if that was just a cute promotional ploy by yourself. And you're talking about MERCHANDISING before your date with DESTINY? Could you WORSELY play off so many PROFESSIONAL setups we left you with? I'll tell you what the only Simply Stunning merchandise being sold these days are. Just plastic blow-up dolls popular with German men."
MILES turns to MAYFIELD...
MILES: "Hit me with that lighter. (MAYFIELD tosses MILES his lighter, MILES turns back to the camera) Indeed, these are dark days - MUCH like some I've seen before in these parts. Not since the early '90's when the CS Express couldn't even hit a double dropkick 'cause of the weight of their beer guts has such an abysmal, talentless hack of a tag team sat on top of the world...And you know what's amazing, Miss Jane? The fat drunks WERE BETTER. As for you Hardy, you're pissed about your face? What GOES around COMES around, punk. (MAYFIELD smirks and makes a silent whoooosh! motion) And as far as me and (points back to MAYFIELD) the big man are concerned - everything comes FULL circle at FISH FUND. What SHOULD have happened, WILL happen this time. You boys know it, We know it, The World knows it - there's NO escape from Eden for you. We gave you fair warning after the CS Express debacle that if you were gonna play games, you were gonna get HURT. You didn't pay that ANY mind deciding to jump our backs and THEN bringing (BLEEP!)in' tazers into the match. So NOW, you know that The Pros will win this match by ANY means necessary. You wanna try and attack Eddie Mayfield when he's showin' up Evan Aho, old-school style? Then HE'S gonna sizzle your face faster than a bacon order at Denny's. And that's just the first spark, boys. Get ready, get set and go run for yo' mommas 'cause this time you're gettin' PROFESSIONALLY relieved of your Tag Team Champion duties. Do NOT move ahead, do NOT cross Go, do NOT collect $200 and do NOT forget to leave that FORTY pounds of gold for M.I.A Inspection and H.P.I Ownership."
MAYFIELD walks up next to MILES and flicks his cigarette at the camera, MILES smirks and blows out a smoke ring...F-T-B.
MILES: "You know what REALLY drives me crazy? When somebody wastes MY time. (points back at MAYFIELD) Me and Eddie actually were SURPRISED to see a tape arrive at the Holiday Inn marked 'SIMPLY STUNNING'. Hell, Eddie lost money thinkin' you boys weren't even gonna say a word before your execution - MILITIA style this weekend. (MAYFIELD nods and shakes his head while smoking...) You always have the right to remain silent before you enter a court of law, gentlemen. But once again before the JUDGEMENT DAY at hand - Simply Stunning provide the world with their constant something about nothing their OPPONENTS care about. (MILES turns to MAYFIELD) You wanna take Miss Smithfield on?"
MAYFIELD (pleading with his hands): "Hell no - I ain't takin' nothin' on that smells worse than the Fish Market."
MILES: "Always leaving me with the dirty work, thanks. (MAYFIELD shrugs and continues to smoke...MILES turns back to the camera) Well, Miss Smithfield - I don't know where you get your research from...I don't know if it's the shampoo you use, either. All I know is that your head smells like it's been up your (BLEEP!) if you think ANYONE gives a RAT'S (BLEEP!) about what Michael Hardy or Simon Wilcox have to say...You've got to be living in some FAIRY GUMDROP HAPPY UNIVERSE if you think there's some (MILES quotes the air) 'MARKET FORCE' behind Simply Stunning. Miss Smithfield - I RUN A WRESTLING FEDERATION. I know talent when I see it...and what you've got on your hands right now are two DEAD fish just waitin' to FRY. NOBODY likes them, EXCEPT...MAYBE...the wrestling fan into the pink tassle thing. Wilcox and Hardy don't know how to carry a match, or let alone wear a title belt with DIGNITY. I've NEVER seen a team that has failed SOOOOO MISERABLY in building up a feud. You've been working with the PROFESSIONALS! THE PEE-ARE-OHs of the Wrestling World. What COULD have and SHOULD have been your moment in the sun for your wrestling LIVES is now going to be one LITTLE footnote. When we're DONE with you, you'll be remembered more for your good riddance than your last stand. And Press Conferences? PRESS CONFERENCES? WHO THE HELL attends Simply Stunning Press Conferences? I saw the list of attendees listed at SEVEN. And who are they? You, Wilcox, Hardy, a Cameraman, a Janitor in Reno and some Internet flunkies that are still hoping they win this years 'Sleep with Teri Melton' Fish Fund raffle as well - I wonder if that was just a cute promotional ploy by yourself. And you're talking about MERCHANDISING before your date with DESTINY? Could you WORSELY play off so many PROFESSIONAL setups we left you with? I'll tell you what the only Simply Stunning merchandise being sold these days are. Just plastic blow-up dolls popular with German men."
MILES turns to MAYFIELD...
MILES: "Hit me with that lighter. (MAYFIELD tosses MILES his lighter, MILES turns back to the camera) Indeed, these are dark days - MUCH like some I've seen before in these parts. Not since the early '90's when the CS Express couldn't even hit a double dropkick 'cause of the weight of their beer guts has such an abysmal, talentless hack of a tag team sat on top of the world...And you know what's amazing, Miss Jane? The fat drunks WERE BETTER. As for you Hardy, you're pissed about your face? What GOES around COMES around, punk. (MAYFIELD smirks and makes a silent whoooosh! motion) And as far as me and (points back to MAYFIELD) the big man are concerned - everything comes FULL circle at FISH FUND. What SHOULD have happened, WILL happen this time. You boys know it, We know it, The World knows it - there's NO escape from Eden for you. We gave you fair warning after the CS Express debacle that if you were gonna play games, you were gonna get HURT. You didn't pay that ANY mind deciding to jump our backs and THEN bringing (BLEEP!)in' tazers into the match. So NOW, you know that The Pros will win this match by ANY means necessary. You wanna try and attack Eddie Mayfield when he's showin' up Evan Aho, old-school style? Then HE'S gonna sizzle your face faster than a bacon order at Denny's. And that's just the first spark, boys. Get ready, get set and go run for yo' mommas 'cause this time you're gettin' PROFESSIONALLY relieved of your Tag Team Champion duties. Do NOT move ahead, do NOT cross Go, do NOT collect $200 and do NOT forget to leave that FORTY pounds of gold for M.I.A Inspection and H.P.I Ownership."
MAYFIELD walks up next to MILES and flicks his cigarette at the camera, MILES smirks and blows out a smoke ring...F-T-B.