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They'll let anybody in this thing



Date/Time: Today!

Place: The mean streets of Greensboro, North Carolina. Home of the C-S-W-A!

(The lens opens and our journey starts as we find CSWA personality Bill Buckley running as fast as he can down Main Street. Buckley is obviously chasing a much faster man, but he is keeping up as best as he can. One hand over his toupee, the other knocking women and children out of harm's way.)

Bill Buckley: A little courtesy please! Gracious! Ma'am, watch it.....

(A woman pushing a baby stroller, and presumably a baby inside it, cuts across the frame blocking Buckley's way. Bill stumbles, but dives over the stroller, using the baby's head as a mount!)

Bill Buckley: Sorry little fella, I've gotta get my man! (Our hero looks off to the distance, and sees a kid turning a corner.) Hey buddy! Give me a break, I left my heart about two blocks back! Ugh! (Buckley kicks up the pace again) Respecting the elderly, what happened to that? (Buckley talking to anyone who will listen.) Someone tell me!

(Buckley's feet slide like Nadal's on clay as he rounds a street corner. He's doubled over in pain. Out of breath. Not a cardiac moment, not now!)

Bill Buckley: Hey you there! (Bill desperately points to a kid on a 10-speed bike, buckling his helmet. Safety first, kids.) You on the bike!

(Buckley runs after his man again. What a galliant effort. CSWA personell people. They train them well.)

Kid: Huh?

(Buckley collaspes next to him.)

Bill Buckley: Yes you. I've been chasing you for five blocks!

Kid: Really: You've should've said something. I would've stopped.

Bill Buckley: Ugh!

Kid: You know, Charlie Brown used to say the same thing...

Bill Buckley: You can't be serious.

Kid: Well, I'm pretty sure it was him. Wasn't Snoopy I know that. He was the silent straight man. Great laugh though.

Bill Buckley: No! (Buckley kicks a mailbox) About this! (He holds up an application.) The ULTIMATE GOLD RUSH match! You are Mike Small right?

Kid/Mike Small: (dismounts from the bike, happy as a clam) That's me! And damn straight I'm serious. I had to pay for a Hall-of-Fame ticket just to get into the front office!

Bill Buckley: Wait. The Hall-Of-Fame tour doesn't take you up to the Main Office!

Mike Small: (pause) Right. Well, hey, after I win the UNIFIED title maybe they'll drop the breaking and entering charges. You think?

Bill Buckley: You're the one that stole my lunch from the break room!

Mike Small: Mr. Buckley (shrugs) It was sitting out...

Bill Buckley: Unbelieveable. Mike this is no time for jokes. Only serious applicants need apply for the GOLD RUSH match. This is the CSWA, afterall. ANNIVERSARY!

Mike Small: I am serious. What makes you think I'm not? I'm practically having to pay my way in! 12.50 in the hole, already.

Bill Buckley: You graduated wrestling school, according to your application six months ago.

Mike Small: Yeah, but would you believe I was taught well?

Bill Buckley: You have no record to speak of.

Mike Small: You must not have searched the registered sex offender's list. (Small ribs Buckley in the side.) Kidding. I've had twelve dates!

Bill Buckley: Twelve matches and you think you're ready to face Troy Windham? Jay Smash? Eli Flair? Scott Riktor? Kin Hiroshi? JA?

Mike Small: I get it I get it I get it. Don't name off the entire list we'll be here for hours.

Bill Buckley: The CSWA is a major promotion Mike. Look. You're a nice kid. And seeing as how you owe me lunch. Let's go talk. I'll make a few phone calls and find you a promotion to work this weekend. I know people. I'm a very powerful man in this business.

Mike Small: (lights up) Do you think I can meet Sammy Benson?

Bill Buckley: Ugh!

Mike Small. Okay Okay I'll hold the football this time.

Bill Buckley: Nice try Small. Let's go get that lunch and get you started in this business.

Mike Small: Two things. I'm broke, so there goes lunch. And I'm staying in the GOLD RUSH match.

Bill Buckley: What!?

Mike Small: I'm sorry! The job market is really tough right now...maybe my mom could wire me some money...

Bill Buckley: Ugh!

Mike Small: Mr. Buckley I grew up a CSWA fan. This is my Everest! My dream girl! I know I ride a bike, now. And, can't pay for lunches...but I have star potential. My dad is a golf pro in Nevada. Genes baby. I'm all Aces. Why start small? It's an open call. Anyone can enter. I'm trained. I'm ready. I got a good feeling. If I win Disney will make a movie about it. How cool would that be?

Bill Buckley: Mike, you're not ready!

Mike Small: If i get murdered in the ring...fine. I'll come back next week and start paying my dues. I have nothing to fear, but fear itself, right?

Bill Buckley: This can't end well.

Mike Small. Yes it can. It's the CSWA. These types of things happen all the time.

Bill Buckley: Another dreamer who grew up watching our broadcasts. Great.

(Small hops on the bike.)

Mike Small: Sorry Mr. Buckley but I have to go. My appointment at the gym is in an hour and my Physical Trainer has already threatened to break me. But you'll see me on the 27th!

(Mike rides off, humming.)

Bill Buckley: The kid doesn't have a prayer.

(OOC: Hope this was cool.)


Jan 1, 2000
Hey man, this was really great. Great character and a new spin on things.


Cool! Compared to the stuff that is posted already I was scared my bit would come off lame.

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