King Bear
League Member
"Before one becomes the King, he must have a castle to rule." - 'The King' David Tui
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(FADE IN: The starry night sky is filled with brilliant stars and soft, fluffy clouds. Not rain clouds, cause those suck and aren’t comforting. These clouds are the way you’d want your pillow to feel. Nice and soft, that’s right. The calm waters that surround the Hawaiian islands show the stars’ reflection, making for a breathtaking view.)
Narrator V/O: The King’s story begins in college. Not until then would he begin to mold himself into the aspiring Ultratitle Contender that he is today. His dreams, after growing up finally, have all pointed to one thing – wrestling. Although he has the degree to make much, much more money, the King wants more than money. He wants fans, women, fast-cars, xbox360, big screen tvs, p-h-a-t titties, cigars, more fans, entourages (“Got that”), blunts, keg parties with tons of kegs, fame, gold belts, faster cars, big ass house, and most of all – the respect of his people in Fiji.
(SCENE: Sitting in a cloudy room, three University of Hawaii students are smoking the finest **** Ruben had, the kid upstairs. His **** isn’t great, but it’s cheap and it’ll get you high. They pass the bowl in a ‘to the left’ rotation, it seems.)
KUA: So, she went down on you?
TUA: Just like that?
STEVE: You know it, bra. All the way down, too.
Narrator V/O: These three healthy young men are the three Fatsoa triplets. Kua and Tua were both solid, well-built Fijian-Americans back in these days, before the partying lifestyle of the King came along. Then, there is their triplet Steve. Nobody’s really sure about Steve, for some reason. Kua, when he was 7, made up a rumor that his name is Steve because he is an alien sent from the Martians, and is really a pod person of one of them, given superhuman strength and superspeed along with the IQ of 219, which he tested at – fifteen times in a row. One time, his answer to everything was a Allman Brothers’ lyric and he scored a 5. In college, he was a defensive tackle on the practice squad at UH, because he likes to smoke pot and hit people not because he wants to go anywhere in life.
KUA: I got so much sociology to do, bras. It sucks.
STEVE: Shut up and hit the pipe.
KUA: Sorry, bra.
STEVE: It happens, bra. It happens.
(SCENE: Everyone’s head spins as the dorm room door flies off the hinges, giving way for a blinding light to scald the retinas of these students. After a few seconds, the silhouette of a magnificent creature.)
MAGNIFICENT CREATURE: Good evening, gents. I might have something to assist your current activities. May I introduce to you, the RIPPER.
(CUT TO: The three brothers are sitting around the same table, this time smoking a bong. Kua pulls had, but he’s a *****, so he start coughing and hacking like a broken and beat up pickup.)
TUI: Easy there, Tiger. That’s no ordinary bong.
KUA: What’s so special about this one?
TUI: It was made in Siberia, in the frozen tundra. It pulls three hundred times harder than a regular bong. Trust me, bras; it’s knocked ‘em down plenty o’ times.
STEVE: Give me that.
(SCENE: Steve takes a giant rip, larger than anybody ever. Zeroed.)
TUI: Sweet Jesus in a tube top, what the he- How did you do that?
KUA: He’s not human, man. In fact, we’re not-
STEVE: Say it again and I’ll snap your fingers in three different places, each.
(SCENE: Steve sits down, readjusting his anger. That’s why he plays football. Because a 7 year old punk made fun of his brother.)
TUI: So…. I have to admit something to you fellas.
KUA: What’s that, bra? You gay?
TUI: You wish, Felatio. Rule number one, listen to the King when he’s addressing his super bad ass squadron.
STEVE: Squadron? We’re not part of any squadron.
TUA: Super bad ass, I like that.
KUA: Oh yeah man, we are super bad ass.
STEVE: Hold the fu*kin’ phone here, bra! We didn’t sign up for any nerd game or stupid treasure hunts, alright?
TUI: Oh, you think this is a game? You think I’m on some treasure hunt? Well, let me explain something to you. I am David Tui, first and foremost. I am the Fighting Son from Fiji. I am the Tsunami of the Seven Seas. I was put on this planet to do two things. Rock and roll… well, more like Rock and BANG! With the occasional roll, you know. Get it, chief?
TUA: What are you talkin’ about, dude?
TUI: I am training to become a wrestler, guys. A real to life wrestler. Signed, serviced, and sexually pleased at all times. The life of a prince…the life of the King.
KUA: So what do we have to do with it?
TUI: (pacing in front of the coffee table) That’s what I want to admit. I did not come here today with pure intentions. I came here to enslave you. Not in a brutal, dominating type of slavery, but a slavery that has equal benefits. A partnership.
STEVE: What kind of partnership?
TUI: Well, let’s so you all serve as my entourage, my crew. I only ask this because, well, let’s be honest – the wrestling business is filled with pussies who couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone from a skilled athlete like myself. Then there are the legends, who I am the chop down, one by one. So I’ve got to stir things up to get my shot at these guys, ya know?
TUI: Bah, and then on the other side of the fence there are the *****es – like Lindsay Troy. Literal *****es, man. The kind that are into dudes, too! They’re pretty hot. There’s tons of women.
STEVE: There are women here, without us leaving and having to protect your loud mouth, punk ass.
TUI: Then there’s the cash, the cars, the cocaine, the Columbian mamitas, the mansions, the boats, the snakes, the sharks, the guns, the hats, the clothes – the everything! Protect me, and I’ll make sure you’ll never have to work a day in your life, your children neither.
KUA: Holy ****, bras.
STEVE: You serious, dude?
TUI: There are a few rules, gents.
TUA: Spit it out then.
TUI: I’ll give you the brief run down, but later; expect full length lessons. Here we go…It’s all about the life that we live now. I’m not going to waste it, and I’m going to use wrestling as the first stone in building my legacy. I’ve got a lot of ladies to meet, places to be, and asses to whoop. The only thing I need, I guess, are people behind me to make sure that when **** goes down, I’ve got some cover. We’ll travel together, as a pack. Also, I heard somewhere it’s common practice to try drugs in Fiji, so I shall make sure my people respect my traditions as well. A lot of drugs.
KUA: Me too.
TUA: Really? Which ones?
STEVE: Oh what the hell, I’m in.
(SCENE: All four men raise their joints the King had rolled earlier. They each took a hit.)
ALL: (in unison) Hail King Tui!
Narrator V/O: There you have it, folks. The kind of meeting only a Fijian Phenom could concoct. His days at UH were spent with great use, making sure to back up his brawn with brainpower as well. The King graduated with a Bachelor’s in Physical Education, so he knows right where to hit you. Four years after this initial meeting, these men are on their way to New Frontier Wrestling.
(FADE OUT)
---
(FADE IN: The starry night sky is filled with brilliant stars and soft, fluffy clouds. Not rain clouds, cause those suck and aren’t comforting. These clouds are the way you’d want your pillow to feel. Nice and soft, that’s right. The calm waters that surround the Hawaiian islands show the stars’ reflection, making for a breathtaking view.)
Narrator V/O: The King’s story begins in college. Not until then would he begin to mold himself into the aspiring Ultratitle Contender that he is today. His dreams, after growing up finally, have all pointed to one thing – wrestling. Although he has the degree to make much, much more money, the King wants more than money. He wants fans, women, fast-cars, xbox360, big screen tvs, p-h-a-t titties, cigars, more fans, entourages (“Got that”), blunts, keg parties with tons of kegs, fame, gold belts, faster cars, big ass house, and most of all – the respect of his people in Fiji.
(SCENE: Sitting in a cloudy room, three University of Hawaii students are smoking the finest **** Ruben had, the kid upstairs. His **** isn’t great, but it’s cheap and it’ll get you high. They pass the bowl in a ‘to the left’ rotation, it seems.)
KUA: So, she went down on you?
TUA: Just like that?
STEVE: You know it, bra. All the way down, too.
Narrator V/O: These three healthy young men are the three Fatsoa triplets. Kua and Tua were both solid, well-built Fijian-Americans back in these days, before the partying lifestyle of the King came along. Then, there is their triplet Steve. Nobody’s really sure about Steve, for some reason. Kua, when he was 7, made up a rumor that his name is Steve because he is an alien sent from the Martians, and is really a pod person of one of them, given superhuman strength and superspeed along with the IQ of 219, which he tested at – fifteen times in a row. One time, his answer to everything was a Allman Brothers’ lyric and he scored a 5. In college, he was a defensive tackle on the practice squad at UH, because he likes to smoke pot and hit people not because he wants to go anywhere in life.
KUA: I got so much sociology to do, bras. It sucks.
STEVE: Shut up and hit the pipe.
KUA: Sorry, bra.
STEVE: It happens, bra. It happens.
(SCENE: Everyone’s head spins as the dorm room door flies off the hinges, giving way for a blinding light to scald the retinas of these students. After a few seconds, the silhouette of a magnificent creature.)
MAGNIFICENT CREATURE: Good evening, gents. I might have something to assist your current activities. May I introduce to you, the RIPPER.
(CUT TO: The three brothers are sitting around the same table, this time smoking a bong. Kua pulls had, but he’s a *****, so he start coughing and hacking like a broken and beat up pickup.)
TUI: Easy there, Tiger. That’s no ordinary bong.
KUA: What’s so special about this one?
TUI: It was made in Siberia, in the frozen tundra. It pulls three hundred times harder than a regular bong. Trust me, bras; it’s knocked ‘em down plenty o’ times.
STEVE: Give me that.
(SCENE: Steve takes a giant rip, larger than anybody ever. Zeroed.)
TUI: Sweet Jesus in a tube top, what the he- How did you do that?
KUA: He’s not human, man. In fact, we’re not-
STEVE: Say it again and I’ll snap your fingers in three different places, each.
(SCENE: Steve sits down, readjusting his anger. That’s why he plays football. Because a 7 year old punk made fun of his brother.)
TUI: So…. I have to admit something to you fellas.
KUA: What’s that, bra? You gay?
TUI: You wish, Felatio. Rule number one, listen to the King when he’s addressing his super bad ass squadron.
STEVE: Squadron? We’re not part of any squadron.
TUA: Super bad ass, I like that.
KUA: Oh yeah man, we are super bad ass.
STEVE: Hold the fu*kin’ phone here, bra! We didn’t sign up for any nerd game or stupid treasure hunts, alright?
TUI: Oh, you think this is a game? You think I’m on some treasure hunt? Well, let me explain something to you. I am David Tui, first and foremost. I am the Fighting Son from Fiji. I am the Tsunami of the Seven Seas. I was put on this planet to do two things. Rock and roll… well, more like Rock and BANG! With the occasional roll, you know. Get it, chief?
TUA: What are you talkin’ about, dude?
TUI: I am training to become a wrestler, guys. A real to life wrestler. Signed, serviced, and sexually pleased at all times. The life of a prince…the life of the King.
KUA: So what do we have to do with it?
TUI: (pacing in front of the coffee table) That’s what I want to admit. I did not come here today with pure intentions. I came here to enslave you. Not in a brutal, dominating type of slavery, but a slavery that has equal benefits. A partnership.
STEVE: What kind of partnership?
TUI: Well, let’s so you all serve as my entourage, my crew. I only ask this because, well, let’s be honest – the wrestling business is filled with pussies who couldn’t fight their way out of a wet paper bag, let alone from a skilled athlete like myself. Then there are the legends, who I am the chop down, one by one. So I’ve got to stir things up to get my shot at these guys, ya know?
TUI: Bah, and then on the other side of the fence there are the *****es – like Lindsay Troy. Literal *****es, man. The kind that are into dudes, too! They’re pretty hot. There’s tons of women.
STEVE: There are women here, without us leaving and having to protect your loud mouth, punk ass.
TUI: Then there’s the cash, the cars, the cocaine, the Columbian mamitas, the mansions, the boats, the snakes, the sharks, the guns, the hats, the clothes – the everything! Protect me, and I’ll make sure you’ll never have to work a day in your life, your children neither.
KUA: Holy ****, bras.
STEVE: You serious, dude?
TUI: There are a few rules, gents.
TUA: Spit it out then.
TUI: I’ll give you the brief run down, but later; expect full length lessons. Here we go…It’s all about the life that we live now. I’m not going to waste it, and I’m going to use wrestling as the first stone in building my legacy. I’ve got a lot of ladies to meet, places to be, and asses to whoop. The only thing I need, I guess, are people behind me to make sure that when **** goes down, I’ve got some cover. We’ll travel together, as a pack. Also, I heard somewhere it’s common practice to try drugs in Fiji, so I shall make sure my people respect my traditions as well. A lot of drugs.
KUA: Me too.
TUA: Really? Which ones?
STEVE: Oh what the hell, I’m in.
(SCENE: All four men raise their joints the King had rolled earlier. They each took a hit.)
ALL: (in unison) Hail King Tui!
Narrator V/O: There you have it, folks. The kind of meeting only a Fijian Phenom could concoct. His days at UH were spent with great use, making sure to back up his brawn with brainpower as well. The King graduated with a Bachelor’s in Physical Education, so he knows right where to hit you. Four years after this initial meeting, these men are on their way to New Frontier Wrestling.
(FADE OUT)