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[UB7] RJ Harris vs Nero


RJ Harris

(The scene opens in an empty Key Arena, the lights are all dim and the Sonic’s basketball court is deserted. A door opens from one of the lockers rooms and out walks RJ Harris, he is wearing black dress pants, a green BWA Polo shirt and has the WWC Continental Title on his right shoulder and the his newly won WCCW Southwest Tag team title on his left he walks to a court side seat and sits down.)

RJ: What a week just a few days ago I teamed with my student Ken Todd to win the WCCW Southwest Tag titles and bring even more gold to the Northwest Outlaws. We are slowly rising up to the ranks as one of the best groups in the WWC. Soon there will be no one that can stop us from just taking over and doing what we want.

I know they may be people out there that think I am wrong, but just look at what we have accomplished, I am the WWC Continental Champion and I share the WCCW Tag title with Ken Todd. Ken and Shawn Craven are the current Two Time TSw Tag Team Champions and will be tearing up the WWC World Tag Team Title Tourney in just a few short weeks. We are on top of the world.

An we will keep moving up and that starts with my title defense against Nero the zero in the EUWC, I have seen footage of this guy and I would find more of a challenge from a bowl of jell-o this guys has zero talent, zero personality , and zero chance of walking out of the ring with my title.

I mean what kind of name is Nero, historically Nero was a fat cry baby who only claim to fame was playing a fiddle as Rome burned. But what nobody talks about is how Nero was a bed wetter that was in love with his mom, so much so that he poisoned her so no one else could have her.
Nero is a name for a failure and Nero in our match you will fail to get my title, so why should you even try.

( Harris gives off a little laugh)

RJ: Enough with the small stuff, I want to move of to the big stuff and the reopening of the BWA and the news that Vince Webb will be running the show once again. The history that had been made under Webb’s last run will be nothing compared to what will happen this time around. With the Northwest Outlaws and other members of the WCCW joining in, it will set the wrestling world on fire.

One thing I do have to address is the smart ass that decided to stick his nose into the last WCCW match and make some stupid statement to us in the ring, “Welcome to the BWA.” Don’t know who you are kid, but I think you have that backwards. If anyone knows the BWA it is me.

I have been the Heavyweight Champion, Tag Team Champion, the only six time LA State Champion, a two time Mid-south champion, two time BWA Cajun Champion, Two time Six man Tag team champion and the first ever BWa Grand Slam champion. I know the BWA and if you think I am going to let some snot nose punk come in and try and scare me then you are sadly mistaken.

As a matter of fact I challenge you to meet me at this weeks Rage and I am sure I can show you who is truly BWa and who is the pretender. So step out of the shadows, stop sucking your thumb, and face me. With that said I do need to go, meeting you know, but I want to tell all the fans in the BWA, The Vagabond has come home and I look forward to see you all again.

(Harris leaves, as the scene fades out)

RJ Harris

(The scene opens inside Halo One, the Halo Inc. Jet, RJ Harris is sitting watching the news on his computer. He is dressed in black jeans and a green BWA: Tradition Rules sweat shirt. He watches as the woman on the screen talks about the forth coming Hurricane Rita. He turns off the computer after a few minutes.)

RJ: How much more suffering do the people of the south have to endure, first is was Katrina and now Rita. I saw where New Orleans in flooding again and now Texas is looking at getting a lot of damage. All we can do is watch helplessly as the storm will rip through the homes and businesses of our fellow Americans. I know people were getting tired of hearing about the people down there and their problems.

But this is a time that we need to unite and help each other out and stand with each other. We need to be there for one another, we need to help our brother and sisters on this planet and let them know we care.

(Harris pauses)

RJ: With that said I need to get my mind off this storm and on to my own battles to come, the first of which is my Continental Title defense against Nero, this guy has been silent and I do know why, he has been fiddling for so long that he has forgotten how to talk and is trying as he might to communicate by music.

An I do know what he is saying, he wants to world to know how he will do his best to take the title from me and he would like to thank all the fans that will come out and support him in his quest to be the champion and he will do his best. Or something along those lines, but is history tells us anything about Nero it is that he couldn’t tell the truth to save his life.

He was more interested in playing with lions and burning flesh, he wasn’t worthy of any title he held and this Nero will be not different and he will fall like his name sake at his own hand. This Nero will go from Hero to zero is only a few short minutes and show why his parents made a mistake in naming him.

( Harris gets a big smile on his face.)

RJ: Moving on to the next match, I am facing another guy named the Angel of Death, man talk about no originality, I count this being the forth or fifth guy I have faced using this name. I mean couldn’t you come up with anything else? How about Bob the builder, no that is taken, ok how about Luke the lost soul, not I have it you should be called Melvin. That works that name seems to fit you better.

I did get a kick out of you telling me what an honor it is for me to be in the ring with you, not sure why you think so, but everyone has their quirks. I also got a kick out of how you seem to think that you are going to walk in and walkout with no effort. I guess you do have something of an imagination, because you little daydream isn’t going to come true.

I do hope that you are as good as you say you are, because I do like a challenge and hopefully you will provide it. I know you drop names line mike Lennox and Team Danger as being more worthy opponents for you then I, which I find interesting since I have owner Team Danger member Greer and Dane in my matches with them and I have beat Lennox on more then one occasion. So either they aren’t as good as you think or I am hell of a lot better them you think.

It is something to think about their Melvin the Angel of Dork, But I can say that is our match your plans will not come to past and you will be in for the fight of your life. I suggest you don’t underestimate me because it will only lead to you laying on your back counting the lights. I hope you are ready for war.

(Harris grabs a bag from under his seat and pulls out the WWC Continental Title and the WCCW Southwest Tag Team Title.)

RJ: These symbolize how important this sport is to me and how hard I have worked to get to where I am, but they pale in comparison to the Chad Dupree Cup which symbolizes the heart and soul of a man who made this business his life. My next opponent is this tourney is Rocko Dayman and I plan to do everything I can to get past him and move to the next round to face off against whoever and then to the finals.

Events like this mean more to me then any title, it is a chance to give back to the fans and the fallen heros from the past and put on a show that will do them honor and justice. I have said since the beginning that I will do everything I can to honor this fallen hero the best way I can see to do that is to win this tourney.

This event makes me think of something I heard a while back, it went something like this, " A hero rises and fight with all his heart, he gives all he has for the battle, he knows the battle might be hopeless, yet he keeps fighting. He gives his life for his victory and he walks before his maker and is welcomed home." We all can do no less in this event to honor Chad Dupree.

(A phone rings, Harris pushes a button and a screen comes down and turns on. The face of Shawn Craven is on the screen)

RJ: What is up Shawn?

Shawn: I wanted to let you know things are getting a little wild here in Houston.

RJ: Ok how many of our busses have made is there?

Shawn: All fifty are here and loaded up and on their way out of here, I also have the helicopter getting people out of here and to our shelters.

RJ: Good I should be there is a few hours, how are you doing?

Shawn: I am ok, I has been hard seeing some of the damage in the area, but I am holding up.

RJ: Good, just keep your mind busy and you will be fine.

Shawn: I am, I have been keeping my mind focused on that World Tag Title tourney coming up and dedicating it to the victims, I want to win the match so I can donate my winnings to Habit for Humanity.

RJ: That is great, I think will do the same, they do a lot of good work and you don’t have to worry about the money getting there like you do with some of the other aid organizations.

Shawn: I talked with Ken a few hours ago and he will be on his way here tomorrow.

RJ: Well have see how close he can get is Rita comes ashore tomorrow.

Shawn: Knowing him he will walk here through it if he has to, he is as tough as a bull and he will not let anything get in this way getting here.

RJ: That is what makes him such a good partner and that is why you two will move forward in the tourney.

Shawn: Yeah, hey I wanted to ask how is Lucy doing? I am sure she is worried about you coming down here.

RJ: She understands my need to want to help and she would have come too, but someone had to stay with Jeffery.

Shawn: How is your son doing?

RJ: He is running around and falling all over the place, I have video that I will have to show you.

Shawn: That would be cool.

( A voice in the background yells for Shawn)

Shawn: I better go, I will see you when you get here.

RJ: Ok, until then you be safe.

Shawn: I will.

(Harris pushes the button again and the screen goes back up in the ceiling.)

RJ: I better get some sleep before we get there, I doubt I will have a lot of time once I am there, but I want to leave all my opponents with this little piece of advise, when you step in the ring with me you put your life in my hands and you will fall victim to a broken heart. So come down and see how badly I can hurt you. An to the fans I say thank you for your support.


League Member
Sep 4, 2004
How does it feel to be a curtain jerker after losing a title? Ask the Bailbond guy.

(Scene opens up in a studio where there the trademark inflatable couches of Sunday Nero Live are present. Some of the studio people are moving here and there, trying to set the camera equipment and testing the microphones. We see a person wearing a cap backwards and reading a file that says “Script” on the cover. Just then, Nero comes in through the studio door and nearly trips over some wire that the studiohand was working on.)

Nero: HEY, MORON! Do you have ANY idea how much this was gonna cost you in pay cuts?

Studiohand Joey: Sorry sir…my mistake, it wont happen again…

Nero: It better not happen again, or you’ll be in the river wearing a cement jacket!

(Nero approaches the man with the script.)

Director: Give the guy a break Nero, he’s new here.

Nero: Well he sure isn’t doing his job right.

Director: You’re right, anyone could have tripped over those wires.

Nero: Who cares about anyone else?! I wouldn’t mind if it was anybody else, or even if he tripped over them; come to think of it, that would have been funny…but if ME, The Great and Almighty Nero were to trip, there would be hell to pay.

Director: Right, so you weren’t going to throw him in the river or anything, would you?

Nero: Of course not. I’ll just dunk his head in a fish tank.

Director: Right. So can we begin with the rehearsal then?

Nero: Yeah I’ve been meaning to ask you this, but do we really have to interview this guy. I mean sure I’ll beat him at Ultra Brawl and take his title blah blah blah! But why does he have to be on Mainframe on MY SHOW! Cant I have somebody in the upper card for a change.

Director: Well according to Briggs’ office memo, there are plans for R.J. Harris to be on SNL after Ultra Brawl but it isn’t confirmed yet. However he wants us to rehearse for it anyways.

Nero: Ooooh that Briggs! That guy has been messing my thunder for ages already! Oh well, lets get this over with soon. I’ve got more pressing matters to attend to later.

Director: Don’t you want to take a look at the script?

Nero: Oh yeah “sure I want to.” Whack.

(Nero goes on and sits at his couch.)

Director: Sunday Nero LIVE rehearsal, we are rolling, TAKE ONE!!!

Nero: Ladies and gentlemen and wrestling fans all over, welcome to Sunday Nero LIVE! The best thing to watch on TV other than the guys that won the Emmys. Of course since SNL only came at the end of the year, you didn’t see that at the Emmys, but hey, nobody saw the Highlight Reel or the Cabana gets nominated, let alone win anything. My only highlight of the night was Jay Leno losing to Hugh Jackman! That’s Wolverine beating THE CHIN!!!

So hey guess what! I’m the NEW WWC Continental Champion!!! Thank you, thank you I know you all love me! It feels great to be champ again, I mean, how long do you think I’m gonna stay naked without having my most important accessory on me. And so tonight, urghh, for NO OTHER REASON other that some loon in the EUWC Board of Directors wanting to get this done, I have to interview the former WWC Continental Champion. In other words the guy I beat with no problems at all, ladies and gentlemen, R.J. Harris.

(A studiohand brings in a sitting mannequin and places it on the couch. The mannequin has a sign saying R.J. Harris, although it looks nothing like him.)

Nero: (to Director) You gotta be kidding me!

Director: That’s the best we could get on short notice.

Nero: FINE! Moving on. So, err…err...(looking at the sign) R.J. Harris. Right, R.J. First off, what does that stand for? Really Jerked, Real-life Jack@$$, something like that.

(The mannequin is silent.)

Nero: I mean I actually had no idea who you were and since I was too busy to watch any of your matches, all I could catch were your promos about me and back there, you had a pretty good idea of what Nero meant, even though this is the 21st century. I remember one time somebody thought I was Nemo, who were they again, oh yeah The Parkers Brothers. Never heard of em?? Oh well, nobody else did either, so can’t blame ya.

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: So R.J., you obviously are now at the bottom of the food chain after losing to The Great and Almighty Nero. I mean, if you lost your pretty little belt to anyone else like I dunno, Paul Doom, or Buck Naked, or some of the other losers at WWC, hey, you could have probably won it, if not, you could get your rematch in like weeks. But to Nero, ohoho, you got another thing coming kid. You don’t lose to the bigtime and expect a rematch anytime till like, I dunno, when you start curtain jerking or actually move up to midcards or something. But you don’t expect to have another match with The Great and Almighty Nero for ages dude!

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: So since I have no idea how a curtain jerker feels like, and since I have nothing else to do on the show with you in it, how does it feel? Is it like whe you’re in the supermarket and the kids go “Hey it’s the Bailbond guy who lost to The Great and Almighty Nero!” Or when you go sell your bail bonds, the people go, “Hey you lost to Nero! You couldn’t bail yourself out of the match, so what chance do we have with your bonds man!” WOW! I wouldn’t wanna be unemployed in this economy, hehehe.

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: So anyways, since losing the title, does the WWC have any other titles you can win? When you do, just let the EUWC know and I’ll take them off your hands and that should flush your career down the toilet for good, don’t you think?

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: Dude! You gotta say something! Oh yeah, you can’t think. Right.

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: Okay you’re starting to freak me out now. It’s like you’re a doll or a mannequin or something.

(The mannequin is still silent.)

Nero: Uhh, hey yo! This guy’s freakin me out. Doesn’t he talk or anything???

Director: It’s a mannequin Nero.

Nero: Is it??? WOW, I thought it was him. I couldn’t see the difference between this sorry loser and that sorry loser.

(Just then half of the light in the studio go out as there’s a flash and a BZZZT sound.)

Studiohand Joey: MY BAD! Must have short-circuited the box.

Nero: (sighs) Okay, somebody get me a fish tank with pirhanas in it.

Last edited:


League Member
Sep 4, 2004
Re: How does it feel to be a curtain jerker after losing a title? Ask the Bailbond guy.

To update the forums

RJ Harris

( The scene opens in a room, sitting in the room is RJ Harris and Shawn Craven, both men look exhausted in there jeans and t-shirts.)

RJ: What a day?

Shawn: Yeah I tell you who knew there was so much that needed to be done.

RJ: Well that is why we are here.

Shawn: I can’t believe some of these people’s stories.

RJ: Yeah they are pretty sad.

Shawn: Hey I was going to share this with you, a few of the New Orleans people gave me this poem that a guy named Brent Longlinais wrote, here is this is it. It is called My New Orleans.

Old folks with life's yokes,
listened to the devils jokes.
Water just like a rabid hound,
ran my people to the ground.

Big easy drowned and upside down,
man I miss this dying town.

There is no house in New Orleans,
gulf by god has swept it clean.
In the city where no one works,
good times gone and left for worse.

Hand me down my walking shoes,
seems I lost all I can lose.

A bottle of gin and worn out cot,
the heavens await for whom have not.
Waters rolled in and drowned the cries,
of government cheese and social lies.

No beer no beads or laughing girls
gone is the city that once grew pearls.

Walked my levee many a time
only to leave it all behind.
I'm moving on oh wont you learn,
hold your head when it's your turn.
Big easy drowned and upside down,
Man I miss this dying town.

( Both men look at each other)

Shawn: that put things into perspective a little bit.

RJ: Oh yeah, I just wish all of the people in our country could see and hear what we have seen, it would really open their eyes to what is really going on down here.

Shawn: Well we are just responsible for what we do and do our best everyday.

RJ: Thanks Pastor.

(Both men laugh)

Shawn: You know me, always willing to share the Word with ya.

RJ: That is what I like about you, your so much like your old man.

Shawn: Thanks, I try.

RJ: So are you going to try and win your tag team match?

Shawn: You bet, Ken and I will run over these two goofs and move on quickly. Are you going to beat the Angel of Death?

RJ: Oh you mean Melvin? Yeah I think I will show him for the fake that he is.

Shawn: He sure talks a lot about himself and what he can do.

RJ: Yeah he is confident in his abilities, but he is just way to over confident and I will be more then willing to welcome him to the Bayou by giving him a lesson in good old fashion BWA wrestling.

Shawn: Hey Tradition rules and you will run over him.

RJ; It should be a good opening match for the reopen, I am looking forward to the whole card, but I can’t wait to see Mike Bell, Eric Benjamin and Malik Johnson in action.

Shawn: It should be good, say have you heard anything from that Nero guy?

RJ: Not a word, I think he will be a no show at the match, oh well I can use a free night.

Shawn: I bet, but you would rather be in a match with someone who was there.

RJ: Yeah but what can you do?

Shawn: True, I remember when the Whirly Birdz ran away in fear of me and Ken and I had to go and beat that nobody Jayson Taylor.

RJ: Well you guys are getting better and it shows people notice.

Shawn: Yeah I do wish that ken and I had joined earlier and I could be a part of the Chad Dupree Cup. I have heard nothing but good things about it.

RJ: It has been fun and a real honor to take part in.

(A door flies open and a man comes in.)

Man: Come quick we have a problem.

(Shawn and RJ get up and run outside and find a group of people setting fire to a tent. They run over and RJ gets in front of the tent and Shawn is right beside him.)

RJ: Hey what the hell is going on here?

( A thin man steps forward)

Thin Man: We are getting rid of this pity party favors.

RJ: What do you mean this is food and water to help people.

Thin Man: Who asked for your help rich man? You are raping our people with your stuff.

RJ: How is giving away food and water and supplies raping you?

Thin Man: It just is and you need to go back to your castle and get our of our homes.

RJ: I not in your homes and I am not forcing you to do anything, but what right do you have to make a choice for other people?

Thin Man: What right do you have to take away our lively hoods?

RJ: How am I doing that?

Thin Man: I can’t sell food to people if you are giving it away.

RJ: Wait a minute I know you your that Remi guy I have been hearing about, you have been asking outrageous prices for rotten food.

Remi: I am just trying to make a living and you are getting in my way, so move or you will be burned with the rest of your stuff.

RJ: I don’t think so you should look behind you.

(Remi turns around to find a larger crowd of people behind him holding his friends and they don’t look happy.)

RJ: I tell you what Remi, I will let you leave here, but I don’t want to see you or hear about you again, because if I do I will find you.

Remi: Oh we will meet again and I will take care of you.

Shawn: You will have to go through me to get to him

Voice: Me too.

(Coming out of crowd dressed in a duster and jeans is Ken Todd.)

Todd: I suggest you take off before you get hurt.

( Remi and his friends run away and Ken and RJ shake hands)

RJ: So you finally got here?

Ken: Yeah, looks like just in time.

Shawn: Just in time my butt you are late.

Ken: Whatever.

RJ: Hey listen guys lets go back and have something to eat and drink.

Ken: Sounds good to me.

Shawn: Ok cool.

(The three men walk away , as the scene fades out)

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