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Unlucky 13: Rex Reynolds vs. MWG

NotorisSTD

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
397
Points
0
Age
40
Location
Boston and other places.
an uncomfortable moment of sincerity

(CUEUP: “Only Anarchists are Pretty” by World/Inferno Friendship Society…)
(CUTTO: Back and white footage of MWG, the lanky androgynous mo fo, in front of a NEW logo backdrop. Our boy’s in jeans, with a purple feather boa wrapped around his neck, neon green lipstick applied in the manner of a clown, big fake eyelashes, and a nasty scowl…)

EMDUBBYA: You want to know something really sad, Rexy poo? A real tear jerker?

I’m too beat up for this. I’ve had too much surgery, done too many drugs, been thrown through one too many tables, taken one too many chair shots, and now I’m f(blee)ed. My short term memory is gone. My vision is getting blurry. It’s the twilight of my career.

And I probably won’t ever get the credit I deserve. Remember back in the 90s, when it was still shocking for a pro wrestler to wear a dress and act way gayer than he actually was? ‘Cause it was still shocking back then? Before Yori Yakamo and Beau Michaels were hitting opponents with dildos and waving their junk around on camera, there was just me. Before Felix Red and everybody were doing blow and smoking crystal meth out of light bulbs, there was just me. And of course, there was the setting myself on fire and all that masochistic jazz…

And yeah, maybe that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but still.

I can’t hack it anymore. I’ll never be world champion again, but I’ve got enough name value recognition where I can show up at wrestling shows, like this one, do my thing, get a paycheck, and spend it on drugs, assuming rent’s paid off…

But, hey, I had a good time, made some money, so I’m not bitter. That’s not the sad part.

The sad part, Rexy, starts with you. I’m a has-been, who was overrated in his prime. But next to you, I’m God. Getting squished by me on a PPV this important may very well prove to be the most important thing you’ll ever do. And someday you’ll sit little grandbrat on your knee, and tell it the story about the time you came…so….(grunts) close to beating the great Madonna Wayne Grossard.

You will never forget this night, whereas I will forget it immediately after it happens. For you, this is years of hard work finally paying off, for one desperate last ditch chance of breaking into the big time. For me, it’s five minutes of work, big DDT, my hand gets raised, paid, grey goose, crank, kicked out of the hotel, wake up in a trailer park next to jailbait, find the rental car, go home. And afterwards, I wouldn’t recognize you if you were blowing me. There’s been so many throwaway hamburger men like you, Rexy…I lost count so, so, so very long ago…

They come to this point (taps himself in the chest) and Disappear….Here….

(FTB)
 

NotorisSTD

League Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
397
Points
0
Age
40
Location
Boston and other places.
an uncomfortable moment of sincerity

(CUEUP: “Only Anarchists are Pretty” by World/Inferno Friendship Society…)
(CUTTO: Back and white footage of MWG, the lanky androgynous mo fo, in front of a NEW logo backdrop. Our boy’s in jeans, with a purple feather boa wrapped around his neck, neon green lipstick applied in the manner of a clown, big fake eyelashes, and a nasty scowl…)

EMDUBBYA: You want to know something really sad, Rexy poo? A real tear jerker?

I’m too beat up for this. I’ve had too much surgery, done too many drugs, been thrown through one too many tables, taken one too many chair shots, and now I’m f(blee)ed. My short term memory is gone. My vision is getting blurry. It’s the twilight of my career.

And I probably won’t ever get the credit I deserve. Remember back in the 90s, when it was still shocking for a pro wrestler to wear a dress and act way gayer than he actually was? ‘Cause it was still shocking back then? Before Yori Yakamo and Beau Michaels were hitting opponents with dildos and waving their junk around on camera, there was just me. Before Felix Red and everybody were doing blow and smoking crystal meth out of light bulbs, there was just me. And of course, there was the setting myself on fire and all that masochistic jazz…

And yeah, maybe that wasn’t necessarily a good thing, but still.

I can’t hack it anymore. I’ll never be world champion again, but I’ve got enough name value recognition where I can show up at wrestling shows, like this one, do my thing, get a paycheck, and spend it on drugs, assuming rent’s paid off…

But, hey, I had a good time, made some money, so I’m not bitter. That’s not the sad part.

The sad part, Rexy, starts with you. I’m a has-been, who was overrated in his prime. But next to you, I’m God. Getting squished by me on a PPV this important may very well prove to be the most important thing you’ll ever do. And someday you’ll sit little grandbrat on your knee, and tell it the story about the time you came…so….(grunts) close to beating the great Madonna Wayne Grossard.

You will never forget this night, whereas I will forget it immediately after it happens. For you, this is years of hard work finally paying off, for one desperate last ditch chance of breaking into the big time. For me, it’s five minutes of work, big DDT, my hand gets raised, paid, grey goose, crank, kicked out of the hotel, wake up in a trailer park next to jailbait, find the rental car, go home. And afterwards, I wouldn’t recognize you if you were blowing me. There’s been so many throwaway hamburger men like you, Rexy…I lost count so, so, so very long ago…

They come to this point (taps himself in the chest) and Disappear….Here….

(FTB)
 

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