* The Miami heat was stiffling even in the dead of winter. Locals were in jeans and t-shirts, but tourists, like Kin Hiroshi, were running around shirtless in shorts. Living in Seattle definitely had it's disadvantages: constant rain, gloom, cool weather. Then again, he could travel back and forth from Tokyo, or hop a plane to wherever CSWA told him to go. Sure, he liked being in Miami, but he still needed to get used to the warm, muggy air.
Downing a snow cone, Hiroshi ducks into a warehouse that was serving as a make-shift training facility. In a corner of the building a camera was set up for interview purposes. Hiroshi made his way over to the set, pulled on a "Do You Know The Muffin Man" t-shirt, and slumped onto a stool. *
KIN HIROSHI: "I always have loved the brains up in Greensboro. See, while I've been slaving away around the world, they still find time to give me a YOU-ESS title shot, and it's a shot I'm not going to complain about.
"Hell, I worked my ass off to get here. I went through Radder AND Logic to get to the man who's been sitting on the title belt for too long. Radder went down faster than a hooker in Vegas thanks to a mutual 'friend' of ours, Kevin Powers.
"And Good God! it was amazing to land in Miami, and read my name in lights once again. Hell, how many times do you hear 'Kin Hiroshi' and 'championship' in the same sentence anymore? I believe the last time was right here in CSWA when I captured the Greensboro title.
"I just have one man to get through now. One man stands in the way of The Muffin Man grabbing a strap for his waist:
"Why did it have to be Hornet?
"I shouldn't be suprised. Should I? After all, look Kin Hiroshi's opponents up in the annals of wrestling and you'd see the following names: Joey Melton, Evan Aho, Steve Radder, Eddy Love, and Dan Ryan.
"You know, these guys, at one time, or another, have been the UNIFIED World Heavyweight Champion. Kin Hiroshi? A few TV titles, a few Cruiserweight accolades, and a single Greensboro strap.
"I've beaten Love, Radder, Aho AND Melton. I 'supposedly' poisoned Dan Ryan, almost killing him.
"And now? Now I'm going to beat Hornet.
"Just another man who's a mammoth to this industry. Another man who thinks that Kin Hiroshi is a bug...a blemish wherever he goes. After all, I've got a great track record with my 'home' company: EWI? GXW? GWE? Seems to me that I'm less of a bug, and more of curse.
"Maybe that's why I don't have gold around my waist right now. Maybe that's why I'm denied at every opportunity presented. Maybe that's why Kin Hiroshi is laughed at and mocked backstage.
"No more. Once I beat Hornet, the Red Sox and Kin Hiroshi are going to have common ground.
"Hornet, you're only as good as the arsenal you bring to the table with you. Baby, I've got tricks that you don't even know about. Sure, the Miami heat may be too warm for me to wear a shirt, but rest assured that I'm hiding things in my sleeves.
"Do you know the Muffin Man? I don't think so, and after Primetime, the entire wrestling industry is going to have to rethink what they believe about me.
(Hornet is sitting in the ubiquitous media room that we’ve seen over the years. There appears to have been an upgrade – plasma is in evidence. Hornet’s legs are propped up on the leather couch as he watches his latest purchase, Seasons 4-6 of “Seinfeld.” As he watches the red light come on the camera, he pauses the main TV and activates the six around it, which all play the same line from Kin Hiroshi.”)
KIN: “Why did it have to be Hornet?”
Is that like asking “Why me?” Kin? It seems to me that’s what you’ve been doing for the last two years. Since March 28, 2004 in fact. Right, Kin? Like a lot of people, you’d like to believe that I walk around the CSWA with my head in the sand; that somehow because of my paycheck I’m oblivious to what goes on.
Oh, and before I forget… thanks for the nice basket of muffins, Kin. Unfortunately, I’m just not a big fan of rum-raisin. But it’s the thought that counts.
I don’t believe that you’re a bug, Kin. I believe you’re misguided. I believe that you gave up on yourself for a while. I believe that you got so jaded that you believed basing your offense in a title match on a thumb-lock would be cute… that you thought you’d use the Greensboro Title as a stepping stone. And when Jean Rabesque beat you, I believe you got scared.
Not to be your therapist, Kin, but it’s alright to be scared. Sometimes fear is an early warning sign. And then sometimes we push through it and go on anyway. I did that quite a bit – pushing through the fear, pushing through the real emotion and dulling it with whatever was handy, whatever could take the edge off, whatever could make reality seem less pressing, less important. You know what I’m talking about, Kin? Yeah, I thought so… or at least that’s what I hear. Remember… no head in the sand here.
And so now the Muffin Man has a partner-in-crime in America’s Favorite Old Lush. Kevin Powers… the man who’s used every friendship he ever had to either get ahead and to make sure he wasn’t the one left behind. From Love to Radder to Miso to Apocalypse. And now he’s got his good friend Kin Hiroshi on the hook. How long until he decides to throw you back and go for something bigger?
Let’s be honest, Kin. I should be stepping into the ring against Steve Radder on that ship. There’s a man that made a comeback against all the odds, without the benefit of “Good God” or any of his old friends. He stepped in the ring and let his undersized talent do the talking for him. Until he ran into the Hiroshi-Powers Connection… or is this version the Power of Muffins instead of the Powers of Love?
I don’t doubt you’ve got some tricks up your sleeve, Kin. But I’ve been doing a little study here, Kin. And according to my media sources – nobody likes muffin stumps, they love the tops. So that makes my game plan pretty clear, doesn’t it? It sounds like a job for the Scorpion Deathlock. I know it’s been awhile, but I don’t think I’m too rusty to remember how to apply it. It’s like the facepaint… once you learn, you never forget. Pick up the legs. Right leg stepover to the outside. Tuck and wrap your legs. Cinch and pull. Step over with the left leg as you turn over. Squat. Pull as hard as I can.
If you thought Rabesque’s Figure 4 was something, then you’ll know just what to do when I start pulling. Slap that mat as hard as you can, Kin, and you might get another chance to challenge for the US Title. Otherwise… well, like I said, I’m a little rusty… I might get a little excited. And I’d hate to hear that telltale “pop,” as I’m sure you would.
I respect you as a wrestler, Kin. It’s your character I question. It’s whether you’re man enough to come into this ready and in the right mind to do this on your own. Otherwise, bring Powers and however many sleeves you need for those tricks. For now, I've gotta get back to studying some tape.
(Fadeout as "Seinfeld" begins playing again on the main screen.)
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