My future taunts me everyday.
With every breath...
Hope fades away.
If often whispers in my ear,
What is left when you leave here?
What was changed because of me?
Caused by anger or caused by glee?
Improving the world around me was...
My noble.
Vain.
And earthly cause.
I didn't want it for the world...
For my own glory banner whirled...
In my own reflection see...
Selfishness in the life I lead...
My dying day draws ever near...
All the more,
Things are unclear...
The future shouts,
Now evermore...
Of what is left behind that closed door.
(The voice of Spade slowly fades out, and we hear another voice speaking. That of Josh Kessle.)
Josh: So tell me about this dream...
(The camera slowly opens into the scene. Simple room, desk, chairs,Spade and Josh sit on either side. Josh has his equipment out and has already been talking to Spade for some time now.)
Spade: It doesnt really matter. Why?
Josh: Maybe I can help.
Spade: Help me understand it?
Josh:Yes.
Spade: I dont need your help to understand the dream. I already understand it.
Josh: Really?
Spade: I take it you want to hear it anyway.
Josh: If its not to much to ask.
Spade: All right. Well it started like this...
(He pauses, taking a breath and collecting this thoughts.)
Spade: Everything just went blank for me. It was as if someone had written words of faithfulness, devotion, lies and deceit, and then erased them as if they had no meaning. Someone had taken my head and turned it every which way so that every thought or memory I had had fallen out of its cupboard in my mind. I couldn’t feel anything, not pain, not grief, not lust, not bliss, not love. The strong anchors of my life were gone. Nothing left but the reaching for something that wasn’t there anymore. My mind started to slowly adjust to this notion as my senses started to calm down and kick into gear.
Josh: Interesting.
Spade: Exactly. A silver mist slowly descended around my surroundings. I could sense it, twirling and twisting around my limbs. I relaxed, not fully conscious of what was happening to me. I could taste it, smell it, hear every turn and move it made. Then suddenly my body was gone. The mist filled up the space where once flesh and blood had been. All of the harms and problems of my life were lifted from my shoulders, and yet they had been replaced with the burden of having no troubles at all.
(Josh starts to jot down thoughts on his note pad.)
Spade: A cold numbness filtered through my mind. I knew everything. I knew why flower petals are filled with vibrant colors, why the wind rustles through the leaves of trees, why human nature is to make war and not peace. I knew why mankind was never allowed to have this knowledge bestowed on it because it would be too much for the mind and soul to bear. And I knew the secret of life. It is to realize why the petals of flowers are so rich with color, why the wind rustles through the trees, and why nobody can make peace. What more, it was to realize these things on your own.
(He paused, sighing with slight dissapointment.)
Spade: Then it was gone. The burst of total knowledge was gone, and I knew it would never come back.
Josh: Never? And how did you know that?
Spade: I dont know...I just did. Can I continue?
(Josh nods his head.)
Spade: A bright light filled the air around me and I saw God. But God was not a man with a beard and staff. God was, and still is, that moment in time, when the first breath of life came alive, when all around it was dull, unmoving serenity, except for that one breath that led to the idea of being alive. That was, and forever will be, God, not the father of Jesus, not some supreme being that grants all of our prayers. It is that one moment, when all else is forgotten, and that is what I saw. I saw the evolution of that one breath of life through to the current day. I saw all of the mysteries scientists had pondered on for so many years. I saw the simplicity of one single action, how it could change the course of history.
(He pauses again, glancing at what Josh could be writing.)
Spade: A piece of reality found its way into my mind. I remembered all of my goals that I had never accomplished. I gave a start, thinking about how many loose threads of my life there were. After frantic thoughts went streaming through my head, I realized that even if I were able to spin the threads into string, there would always be a new set of problems and goals awaiting me when I finished. I let that piece of reality slip away, feeling complete. Now my life just needed the epilogue.
(By now Josh has finished writing and is simply watching the man we know as Spade.)
Spade: Slowly the numbness of my mind faded off into oblivion, taking my thoughts with it. I had the urge to fall asleep, exactly where I was; in the middle of…where was I? I realized I didn’t know what was happening. Why was I so tired, why did I feel I was complete? My life and I were far from complete! I have so many things to do, so many things to say goodbye to. The mist had toyed with my mind, making me think that everything was okay--which is wasn’t. Why should I have to leave this world now? Why me? I realized that the sleepy, numb feeling meant that I was drifting farther and farther away. I began to struggle-not through body, but through mind. I tried to put my thoughts back into their cupboards, but they kept spilling out. I became frantic, not caring whether I hurt myself, only caring that I come back to the world I knew, back to my home. The numbness became stronger, and then I felt something pulling at my soul. It was dragging me under, farther than I ever dreamed of going. I shuddered, and realized that I was never going to succeed in pulling myself back up. I couldn’t get that thought out of my head. All was lost. One last flame burned inside my heart, I gave one last struggle, but it did nothing. Strong hands held me tight, and wouldn’t let me go. My mind started to drift away, leaving me behind. The five senses slowly faded, leaving nothing. I only had the strength for one last thought; I was dead.
(Spade turns his head towards Josh and looks him in the eyes.)
Spade: And that was it. I woke up after that.
Josh: Hmmm.
(Josh taps his pen on the table, thinking for a moment.)
Josh: So what do you think it means?
Spade: That I have no reason to fear death. Death is not something to be scared of, but just another part of life. The best part. Now, while I have no urge to die any time soon, I know now that I have nothing to worry about. Of course, it could mean that I'm going to die soon. I will not rule that out, but if I am...oh well. I will go out in a blaze.
Josh: Those are two very reasonable theories.
Spade: Or It could be complete bull****. But for some reason. I have a weird feeling about this one.
Josh: What kind of feeling?
Spade: Not sure. I wish I could explain it, but I cant. All I can say is the feeling is good.
Josh: Well thats better than a bad feeling.
(Josh looks at his watch and then back at Spade.)
Josh: I hate to say it, but our time is up. Ill see you next time.
( Spade nods his head and leans back in the chair as Josh grabs his stuff and exits the room. Spade looks down at the surface of the table for a moment as we sit in silence. After a bit, he speaks.)
Spade : There is a famous phrase which states, "Home is where the Heart is", and I have never been witness to a more perfect explanation. You see, The wrestling world is one built from the cornerstones of greed, solidified by avarice. It is one where artists are constantly leaping from one home to another, searching only for the place where they could receive the sole thing that they desire... Money. The need to have the smell wafting from them, the look, the image. With so many larger, well-known federations, it leaves only the utmost of possibilities... However with possibilities escapes countless exceptions. I am An Exception... Why? Because I am honest to myself and to the rest of the watching world. I am not in this world for the same reason that nearly every other man is. I am not in this world because it ensures me an endless supply of an unnecessary luxury. I will not patronize you either, by attmepting to tell you that I have not enjoyed everything I have recieved, yet it has not consumed my soul like so many others. I have been driven to succeed in this world, from so many extraneous hands. I began in search to find myself. I continued on in desperation for improvement. From then to honor the millions of my fans who honor me so kindly every setting sun. However now... I want the hWo Vendetta title and I want to prove myself to the entire world. I am here to honor myself for the endless effort that my body provides me with.
( Spade shrugs, relaxing in the chair a bit.)
Spade : This week I will prove myself once again. Prove myself by beating Ken Kaze this week.
(He pushes his chair back and stands up, slowly pacing around the room.)
Spade : Ken, I know your worried I would be to if I was versing me...Last week it was Juluis Friskit this week...It's you!
(Fade.)