PaulNJ21
I shunned a voodoo witch, decapitated a black cat
::Edmunds has a shaken Sherri in her arms::
BLACK ROSE: We are backstage where Wink negotiated a successful release of Sherri from El Arco Iris. Things thankfully went relatively well.
CHRIS WINK: Relatively well? El Arco Iris has gone off the deep end. I haven’t seen anyone as crazy since Psycho and he is really giving Psycho a run for his money.
BLACK ROSE: Is El Arco Iris done for the night?
CHRIS WINK: I personally helped him pack his bag and I escorted him. We won’t hear from El Arco Iris again tonight.
(BROADCAST BOOTH)
JONATHAN MARX: Lets hope Wink is right about that.
VIC WATERS: Yeah, after snapping on everyone, he isn’t going to go after Psycho in the main event… yeah right.
BRANDON JACOBS: Lets get back to matters at hand, Maelstrom didn’t wind up catching Lonestar.
JONATHAN MARX: With the way Maelstrom was going after him, Lonestar could have used a bit more cowbell to keep him down.
VIC WATERS: You can never have enough cowbell.
BRANDON JACOBS: But two people who won’t be short of any foreign objects are Felix Red and Thirteen in their falls count anywhere in the graveyard match.
JONATHAN MARX: Last year’s match was a classic between Anarky and Diablo which sadly Diablo never full recovered from. That win by Anarky caused so psychological drama for Diablo he had to retire.
BRANDON JACOBS: He was such a promising you wrestler too. He reminded me a lot of a young Manson. It is a shame his career never had an opportunity to take off.
VIC WATERS: Wrestling is about mental toughness. If you don’t have it, you aren’t going to last long in this business. With Felix Red and Thirteen, you know those two are so whacked out of their mind to begin with that, that all it would take is a little push to drive them over the edge.
JONATHAN MARX: Who do you guys think this match favors?
VIC WATERS: I am going to side with Felix Red, he has the experience and he has witnesses one of these matches before while Thirteen hasn’t. Thirteen could surprise him though because he had a hell of a debut in the Cibernetico.
BRANDON JACOBS: I am kind of surprised you went that way, I think Thirteen may have the advantage. Felix Red, despite being fired tonight by Edmunds and he could be wrestling his last match here tonight in a graveyard of all places, has had so much success lately between winning the Presidency and beating people left and right that Thirteen is much more desperate. He wants to go into this match and show Jared Wells what he is capable of for their match at the PPV.
JONATHAN MARX: I only know one thing for sure, if this is anything like last’s years match, it will be a hell of a fight.
BRANDON JACOBS: LETS SEND THIS ONE TO THE GRAVEYARD AND GET THIS UNDERWAY!
(GRAVEYARD)
BRANDON JACOBS: Referee Umberto Gonzalez is telling both men this is under BAD rules and anything goes.
JONATHAN MARX: Needless to say, there is no entrance music because we are in the graveyard and we don’t want to wake the dead.
VIC WATERS: Good call, blood thirsty zombies suck.
BRANDON JACOBS: GONZALEZ IS SIGNALING THIS MATCH HAS OFFICIALLY BEGUN AND THIRTEEN IS RUNNING AWAY!
JONATHAN MARX: What is Thirteen doing?!
VIC WATERS: Maybe he has thought better of this.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED IS RUNNING AFTER HIM AND THIRTEEN GRABS A POTTED PLANT AND HE HURLS IT AT FELIX RED GETTING DIRT ALL IN HIS FACE!
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red better becareful because if that dirt gets in his eyes, it could impair his vision for the whole match.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen charges Felix Red….. HE HITS HIM WITH A SUPERKICK TO THE FACE! Thirteen goes for the cover! Gonzalez goes down for the count! 1------------------------------------------------2------------------------------------- FELIX RED KICKS OUT!
JONATHAN MARX: It isn’t going to be that easy to beat Felix Red.
VIC WATERS: Thirteen is going to have to hit Felix Red with everything but the kitchen sink to win this one.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen walks over to the water pump and he picks up a metal bucket…… Felix Red is trying to get up…. THIRTEEN IS TRYING TO PUT THE METAL BUCKET ON FELIX RED’S HEAD BUT FELIX RED KICKS HIM IN THE GUT!
JONATHAN MARX: One kick by Felix Red can wind anyone…
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED PUTS THE BUCKET ON THIRTEEN’S HEAD AND DELIVERS A SPINNING HEEL KICK RIGHT TO THE FACE DRIVING COMPACTING THE METAL ON HIS HEAD!
VIC WATERS: I have no idea how Thirteen is going to be able to get that off.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is stumbling around trying to pull the bucket off his head…. FELIX RED SPOTS A CHRISTMAS WREATH AND HE PULLS IT OVER THE HEAD OF THIRTEEN AROUND HIS ARMS!
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen is trapped, Felix Red may be able to finish this one off early.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED RUNS OVER AND HE CLIMBS ONTO A TOMBSTONE ….. HE JUMPS UP AND HE HITS TWISTING LEGDROP RIGHT ON THE HEAD OF THIRTEEN!
VIC WATERS: Bucket and all…
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is calling Gonzalez over! FELIX RED IS GOING FOR THE COVER! 1------------------------------------2----------------------- THIRTEEN BREAKS THE WREATH AND MANAGES TO GET HIS SHOULDER UP!
JONATHAN MARX: That was pretty darn close for Thirteen.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red grabs him by the bucket and drags him towards a mausoleum…. FELIX RED RAMS HIM BUCKET FIRST INTO THE SIDE WALL! Thirteen is stumbling around….
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen has to get off the defensive because there is no way he can go the whole entire match with that damn bucket on his head.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is going over to the water pipe and he unscrews the hose…. FELIX RED IS TAKING THE HOSE OVER TO THIRTEEN AND HE IS WRAPPING IT AROUND HIM TO CONFINE HIS ARMS! Felix Red stands Thirteen against the wall of the mausoleum….
VIC WATERS: What is Felix Red planning on doing?
JONATHAN MARX: I have no idea…
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is backing up….. HE RUNS AT THIRTEEN FULL BLAST FOR A TURNBUCKLE SPLASH….. THIRTEEN MANAGES TO TIP HIMSELF OVER AND FELIX RED CRASGES INTO THE WALL OF THE MAUSOLEUM! Felix Red has been busted open!
JONATHAN MARX: This two really are nuts, that is why they fit this match so well.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is able to get one of his arms free…. AND NOW THE OTHER AND HE IS ATTEMPTING TO TAKE THAT BLASTED BUCKET OFF HIS HEAD…. HE FINALLY HAS IT OFF AND HE SEES A BLOODY AND UNCONSCIOUS FELIX RED LAYING BY THE SIDE OF THE OLD MAUSOLEUM!
VIC WATERS: Now this is going to be a fair fight…
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen picks up Felix Red…. HE IS CALLING FOR THE SPEAR! Felix Red is still kind of out of….. THIRTEEN CHARGES FELIX RED FOR THE SPEAR…… OH MY GOD….
JONATHAN MARX: OH MY GOD…
VIC WATERS: Good god…
BRANDON JACOBS: THIRTEEN JUST SPEARED FELIX RED THROUGH THE WALL OF THAT OLD SINGLE ROOM MAUSOLEUM!
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red must have weakened it with his attempt for the splash earlier… poor guys.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is getting up… and he is stumbling and he is pulling a bloody Felix Red out of the mausoleum.
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen better becareful that he pulls the right body out…. That could be bad.
VIC WATERS: Don’t want to be haunted the rest of your life by people from Chicago. It is enough that we have to endure the Cubs.
BRANDON JACOBS: THIRTEEN PICKS UP FELIX RED AND HE SLAMS HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND! Thirteen is going over to the side of the mausoleum and he is attempting to scale the wall up to the top….
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen may be going for his patented thirteen by thirteen splash….
VIC WATER: I really don’t know how much more Felix Red can possibly take.
BRANDON JACOBS: THIRTEEN IS PERCHED ON THE TOP AND HE LOOKS DOWN AT FELIX RED BELOW…. THIRTEEN SETS AND HE FLIES OFF AND HITS FELIX RED WITH THE 13x13 FROG SPLASH! The momentum carries Thirteen off and it looks like he is holding his ribs.
VIC WATERS: COVER HIM!
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen looks like he may have hurt himself as much as he did Felix Red with that one.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen crawls over Felix Red….. THE LAYS AN ARM OVER FELIX RED! The ref goes down to make the count! 1----------------------------------------------------------2--------------------------- FELIX RED MANAGES TO GET THE SHOULDER UP!
JONATHAN MARX: I have no idea how Felix Red did that.
VIC WATERS: When you’ve been facing like the likes of Manson and others who can really give you a beating, you build up a tolerance for punishment… but that is still impressive.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is yelling at the referee about the slow count…. Thirteen looks like he was sure he had Felix Red and now he is trying to figure out what to do…
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen can’t let the kickout throw him off his game, he was half a second away from pinning Felix Red.
VIC WATERS: He needs a plan B and fast.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is looking out in the distance and he sees a parked hearse….. THIRTEEN GRABS FELIX RED BY THE HAIR AND HE IS DRAGGING HIM AWAY FROM THE MAUSOLEUM INTO THE STREET!
JONATHAN MARX: He is going to use that car for his advantage.
VIC WATERS: Who just leaves a hearse lying around a graveyard?
JONATHAN MARX: I don’t know, but it has the WFW Presidential Seal on it.
VIC WATERS: With the way things have been going tonight, WFW owning a hearse may be a good idea.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED BREAKS AWAY FROM THIRTEEN AND THEY BEGIN FIGHTING IN THE STREET!
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red is going to let himself be dragged all that way without giving Thirteen a fight. Thirteen must have thought Felix Red was more out of it than he actually was.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED KICKS THIRTEEN IN THE STOMACH AND HE GRABS HIM BY THE HEAD AND PLANTS HIM INTO THE STREET WITH A TORNADO DDT!
VIC WATERS: That has to be painful.
JONATHAN MARX: The whole entire momentum of this match has changed.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red walks over and he grabs a long metal shovel from the side of a freshly dug grave….
JONATHAN MARX: You think the gravediggers would be less careless with those tools.
VIC WATERS: If that grave was actually dug by the gravediggers….
JONATHAN MARX: Do you know something I don’t?
VIC WATERS: ::whistles::
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED GRABS THE SHOVEL AND HE TURNS IT AROUND AND HE STARTS HEADING THIRTEEN LEGS WITH THE WOODEN PART REPEATEDLY!
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red must think if he can take out the legs, he won’t be able to use the 13x13 on him again.
VIC WATERS: Felix Red is going to town on him. He really isn’t happy that Thirteen posed the threat to LOVE that they he did in the Cibernetico and he wants to kill this threat before he can strike again.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red climbs onto Thirteen… HE IS TURNING THE SHOVEL AROUND AND HE IS TRYING TO BUST THIRTEEN OPEN WITH IT! Felix Red is slicing up the forehead of Thirteen with the end of that shovel and the blood is really starting to pour down.
VIC WATERS: This certainly isn’t Thirteen’s lucky day. He had no idea what he was getting to facing Felix Red and certainly not in a match like this.
JONATHAN MARX: This makes what happened in Anarky/Diablo look like a regulation match.
BRANDON JACOBS: The referee walks over to Felix Red and he is telling him not to go overboard, because while BAD rules apply, Felix Red has to becareful not to break any laws.
JONATHAN MARX: Umberto Gonzalez is just trying to cover his own ass as usual. With El Arco Iris’ actions tonight, it is starting to make sense how these two can be affiliated.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED IS TRYING TO CHOKE THIRTEEN OUT WITH THE HANDLE OF THE SHOVEL! Thirteen is struggling to break free but he can’t…. FELIX RED FINALLY LETS GO OF THE SHOVEL!
VIC WATERS: Thirteen with a big break there…
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is dragging Thirteen towards the limo…. The blood from Thirteen’s forehead is dripping down and Felix Red is dragging Thirteen on that concrete street scrapping up his legs.
VIC WATERS: Even if Thirteen survives this match, how is he going to be able to face Wells in this condition at the PPV?
JONATHAN MARX: If you want to be BAD World Heavyweight Champion, you have to be the toughest of the tough and willing to go that extra mile in order to win. Otherwise you won’t last as champion. In many ways, it is a much harder belt to hold that either the WFW World Heavyweight Title or the WFW North American Title because there are no rules and there are no limits. The title is about matches like we saw between Maelstrom and Wells where they are willing to go to extremes in order to win. That is why I, as a wrestler, admire the BAD World Heavyweight Title so much. It is a man’s title. It is the John Wayne of World Titles and I love that.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red and Thirteen have finally reached the limousine! Felix Red picks up Thirteen…. HE DRIVES HIM INTO THE GROUND WITH A TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Thirteen looks like he is completely out of it….
JONATHAN MARX: That concrete is unforgiving. There is no leyway when your brain crashes down on that cement.
VIC WATERS: As if any of these two needs anymore brain damage to become even more demented than they are….
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is climbing up on top of the limo…. AND HE IS STANDING ON THE ROOF CALLING FOR THIRTEEN TO GET BACK UP….
JONATHAN MARX: This could be his patented moonsault into a DDT and if he hits that, Thirteen is toast.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen is struggling to get up…. He grabs the handle of the limo in an attempt to pull himself up…. Thirteen is getting up….. FELIX RED GOES FOR THE MOONSAULT BUT THIRTEEN PULLS OPEN THE DOOR AND FELIX RED LANDS STOMACH FIRST ON THE TOP OF THE DOOR!
JONATHAN MARX: Ouch, I didn’t like the sound I heard when Felix Red’s ribs crashed down on that door.
VIC WATERS: Neither did I.
BRANDON JACOBS: A dazed Thirteen looks over at Felix Red and smirks as Felix Red is bent over in pain.
JONATHAN MARX: That damn heartless bastard.
BRANDON JACOBS: A bloody Thirteen gets up…. HE PICKS UP FELIX RED AND DELIVERS A STOMACH BREAKER RIGHT TO THE RIBS! Thirteen is struggling to stand on those wobbling legs which took a hell of a beating at the hands of Felix Red earlier. Thirteen closes the limo door.
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red looks out of it.
BRANDON JACOBS: THIRTEEN IS CLIMBING UP ONTO THE LIMO BUT IS STRUGGLING TO GET UP THERE….
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red beat him up way too much for him to try anything from the top of that limo. If he misses from there, he is going to be in bad shape and even with Felix Red’s ribs being what they are, it is going to be hard for him to overcome not being able to stand.
VIC WATERS: Thirteen is absolutely nuts, he doesn’t care about his own well being at all.
BRANDON JACOBS: THIRTEEN IS FINALLY ON TOP OF THE LIMO AND HE WHIPS THE BLOOD AWAY FROM HIS EYES…. HE LOOKS DOWN AT FELIX RED…. THIRTEEN DIVES OFF WITH THE 13x13 and he crashes down on the injured ribs of Felix Red!
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen looks in bad shape himself. He has to crawl back over and cover Felix Red before he gives Felix Red too much time to recover like last time.
VIC WATERS: Come on Thirteen!
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen crawls over…. HE DRAPS HIS ARM OVER FELIX RED WHO IS TRYING TO CATCH HIS BREATH! Gonzalez goes down for the count! 1---------------------------------------------------2-------------------------------------------- FELIX RED KICKS OUT BEFORE THE THREE!
JONATHAN MARX: Felix Red won’t stay even though it is the best thing possible for him to do in his condition.
VIC WATERS: Felix Red doesn’t want to let LOVE down, he wants to show everyone why he is one of the best of the best.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen looks over at Felix Red… and he can’t believe Felix Red wouldn’t stay down…. THIRTEEN POUNDS THE GROUND AND STARTS CURSING FELIX RED!
JONATHAN MARX: Thirteen can’t let himself get out of control, that is what Felix Red wants.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen grabs Felix Red off the ground and he throws him onto the hood of the limo…. THIRTEEN IS CLIMBING UP ONTO THE CAR BUT HIS LEGS ARE STARTING TO GO ON HIM…. FELIX RED GETS UP AND HE RAKES THIRTEEN IN THE EYES!
JONATHAN MARX: Now that is old school….
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is climbing up onto the roof of the car…. Thirteen is stumbling around….. MOONSAULT INTO A DDT ON THE HOOD OF THE LIMO AND THIRTEEN’S HEAD IS DRIVEN INTO THAT HOOD!
JONATHAN MARX: He was trying for that earlier, and he just hit it.
VIC WATERS: How much more can these two possibly take?!
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED IS GOING FOR THE COVER! Gonzaelz crawls on top of the car! 1---------------------------------------------2------------------------------ GONZALEZ IS WAVING OFF THE PIN BECAUSE THE HOOD ISN’T EVEN AND TECHNICALLY THIRTEEN’S SHOULDERS AREN’T FLAT! An annoyed Felix Red looks at Gonzalez and he throws Thirteen onto the flat roof of the limo. FELIX RED IS GOING FOR THE COVER AGAIN! 1-----------------------------------------------------2------------------------------------- THIRTEEN MANAGES TO KICK OUT!
JONATHAN MARX: He would have had him if Gonzalez would have counted that first fall, but too much time elapsed between the first and the second to get him.
VIC WATERS: Thirteen caught a huge break there.
BRANDON JACOBS: FELIX RED IS TELLING THE REFEREE HE IS GOING TO FINISH HIM OFF….. FELIX RED PICKS UP THIRTEEN FOR THE AGONY TO ECSTASY…. THIRTEEN SLIPS OUT OF THE HOLD BECAUSE HE IS COVERED WITH BLOOD…. THIRTEEN DROP KICKS FELIX RED OFF OF THE LIMO AND FELIX RED CRASHES DOWN BACK FIRST ONTO THE CEMENT STREET!
JONATHAN MARX: Gonzalez is scurrying down to get off the limo.
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen looks down at Felix Red who appears to have taken a bad bump on the head…… Thirteen looks up as if he is deciding what to do…. THIRTEEN SETS HIMSELF ON THE LIMO AND DIVES OFF AGAIN ONTO FELIX RED FOR THE THIRD TIME WITH THE 13x13 FROG SPLASH!
JONATHAN MARX: He has done this twice already and he couldn’t keep Felix Red down.
VIC WATERS: Come on Thirteen!
BRANDON JACOBS: Thirteen crawls over quickly and covers Felix Red! Gonzalez goes down for the count! 1-------------------------------------------------------------2-----------------------------------------------------------------3! FELIX RED KICKS OUT BUT IT JUST A SECOND TOO LATE! The ref is declaring Thirteen the winner!
VIC WATERS: Third time is the charm!
JONATHAN MARX: That was an awful close count, but Thirteen just got the job done.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is getting up and he is irate….. HE HITS GONZALEZ WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK! Thirteen gets up….. FELIX RED HITS HIM WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK!
VIC WATERS: Felix Red is being awfully bad sport about this.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red is opening up the trunk of the hearse….. HE HAS A CASKET AND HE PICKS UP THIRTEEN AND DUMPS HIM INTO IT AND LOCKS IT! Felix Red is dragging the casket down the street back to where he saw that freshly dug grave….
JONATHAN MARX: You don’t think he is going to bury him alive do you?!
VIC WATERS: Felix Red is pissed… yes, yes I do.
JONATHAN MARX: This is going way too far.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red drags him across the grass to the freshly dug grave and he dumps Thirteen’s casket in! Felix Red is picking up a shovel and he is burying dirt on Thirteen left and right and that casket has been buried in at least two or three feet of dirt.
JONATHAN MARX: Wait a second, I think I see some cars…. WFW officials and security on their way for Thirteen.
BRANDON JACOBS: Felix Red sees people coming…. FELIX RED SPITS IN THE GRAVE AND HE IS HEADING FOR THE HEARSE TO TAKE OFF!
JONATHAN MARX: This may be one of those cases where you lose for winning.
BRANDON JACOBS: Folks, we have to take a commercial break, when we comeback, we will have more on Thirteen and possibly a status on Felix Red’s employment! STAY TUNED!