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Wrestling Insider

Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
324
Points
0
Location
Cashville
(A video package of Shamon airs to the tune of “Beat It” by Michael Jackson. Most of the clips are of Shamon dancing and acting stupid. Then some clips from his matches show up. Shamon punching Aho and having no effect on him. Shamon knife-edge chopping Shane Southern and having no effect on him. Shamon coming off the top rope and hitting the canvas.

The view switches to Shamon in a studio with M. Harry Smilek, for another edition of Wrestling Insider.)


M. HARRY SMILEK: Fans we have a great treat for you today. I was able to gain exclusive rights to interview the hottest act to hit the CSWA since Space God. Folks, sitting opposite me today is the man who you just saw in that video package. He is the self-proclaimed King of Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Put your hands together for the inspiration of the Intruders, here is SHAMON!

(Shamon steps onto the set and moonwalks up to Smilek. He does a break dance move and turns it into a robot, which he then shakes Smilek’s hand. He grabs his crotch, shouts out “HOOOO” and takes a seat near Smilek.)

SMILEK: Shamon, its great to have you here. We haven’t seen you lately, what gives?

SHAMON: I know all your viewers are tuned into this show wanting to catch a glimpse of what I might wear, if I had a new ‘do, to see if I might show the World some new dance moves. (Does a shoulder shimmy.) They also want to know what I’ve been up to. Well it’s no secret that I have been recording an album and hopefully it will be out by the time the CSWA 15 show comes around. I worked with a lot of great producers. Do you remember the Macarena? Well those guys called me up and I’ve got a new dance that will infect America worse than the West Nile Virus.

SMILEK: Wow, you folks heard it here first! What’s the name of the album?

SHAMON: We haven’t completely decided on that yet. I was thinking about doing what a lot of artist do and just have it self-titled. But it’s up to the guys in the boardroom to decide.

SMILEK: Are you upset that some of your new songs have leaked out onto the internet?

SHAMON: WHAT!?

SMILEK: Yeah, I heard your new song, I can’t think of the title, But it goes like “I’m your activator…you can spray me on…spray me on.”

SHAMON: NO! Damn it! No one is reliable anymore. I only gave out a very limited amount of advance copies. (Fans his face to calm himself down.) I need a latte’.

SMILEK: Well I think your album leaking out might be the least of your concerns. I just got word that in Chicago at Primetime you have been signed to a match.

SHAMON: But I’m on leave to record and promote the album. I got the thumbs up from Merritt himself.

SMILEK: Well I guess he didn’t get the message. He’s signed you up against the mixed martial arts monster, Steel Viper!

SHAMON: Steel Viper? I thought he was dead! I could have sworn I read it on the AP wire.

SMILEK: He is very much alive and he will be in Chicago.

SHAMON: I can’t go to Chicago, it’s the Windy City. Don’t you know what type of murder will be committed to my luscious golden locks?

SMILEK: Huh?

SHAMON: My hair, you buffoon! I need to call Pierre for an emergency curling, when I get there. I can’t wrestle with split-ends. How am I supposed to concentrate on Viper when my hair will be a mess?

SMILEK: I don’t know what to tell you.

SHAMON: You’re useless, Smilek! No wonder you never interview people. You are like the crap in the corner of my eye when I wake up. I don’t know how you got there. I don’t know where you’re from, but I know your nasty and I don’t want you around.

SMILEK: What? You are comparing me to eye crud?

SHAMON: Well if the glove fits…wear it! (Holds up his left hand to reveal his shiny sequins glove.) Just shut up and let me do the talking! (Pauses and makes sure Smilek stays quiet.) Viper, I don’t know what rock you climbed out from under or what flea market you’ve been wrestling in for the past 5 years, but you WILL NOT make a statement on Shamon. I will show the entire World that you are nothing but a fraud. That all the crap you speak is a lie. You are looking at the only trained killing machine in the CSWA! (With the last statement Shamon violently swings his head away from looking at the camera. A activator in his gheri curl flies out and onto Smilek’s face.)

SMILEK: (Wiping his face down.) I can tell you mean business.

SHAMON: Viper, I know all about you. I know that you are trying to get to my main man, Eddie Mayfield. I know you ruined the President’s match a few shows back. And as a personal favor to my boy, Edwardo, I am going to handle his LIGHT WORK and put an end to your run here in the CSWA! Ask Southern, ask Aho, ask Powers, each of them has felt my fury! I’M BAD! I’m the King of Snap, Crackle, and Pop…and you’ll find out exactly why in Chicago! Smilek, I’m through with this interview. I have to make arrangements for myself and my stylist to get to Chicago. I hope you’re proud of yourself, Smilek!

SMILEK: What did I do? I just told you that you had a match.

SHAMON: Well you ruined my Labor Day Weekend! Just leave, get out of here!

SMILEK: But this is MY show.

SHAMON: Oh, well EXCUSE ME! I’ve never been so insulted! Good day, Smilek!

(Shamon storms off of the set.)

SMILEK: Well I guess this is the end of the show. Until next ti….

(Shamon walks back out to the set.)

SHAMON: Just because you’re an ass, doesn’t mean my fans deserve to be treated like crap! This is for my SHAMONITES out there!

(Shamon starts to dance. He does his patented kick, leg swing, shoulder shimmy, crotch grab…not necessarily in that order.)

(FADE TO BLACK)
 

Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Joined
Jan 1, 2000
Messages
324
Points
0
Location
Cashville
STEEL VIPER: You’re kidding me, right? Who the hell decided THIS would be a marquee match up? First of all, Shamon doesn’t belong in the ring. Not only against me…but in the ring PERIOD! You saw what I did to Wall at On Time and he’s a former World champ, what do you think I’m gonna do to you?

I’m Eddie’s light work? Oh really? Then if I am such a pushover, then why doesn’t Mayfield handle this personally? Why does he send you out to in his place? I’ll tell you why, because the man is obviously scared. Shamon, do you think if you say enough great stuff about yourself that it might come true? If you keep calling yourself a great athlete, maybe somehow those words will transfer you into one? (Shakes his head.) Sad, just sad.

You need your own personal stylist? From the looks of things you probably need more than that. In Chicago I’ve got a message for your to send back to Eddie…and I can’t wait.
 

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