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Zesty "The Blue Bastard" Mordant


League Member
Apr 23, 2009
Name: Zesty Mordant, aka The Blue Bastard
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 283 lbs
Hails From: Sunnyvale Trailer Park in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia
Music: "Liquor and Whores" by Bubbles

Physical Appearance: Similar to a larger Mick Foley, but a bit more agile. Wears large coke-bottle glasses that make his eyes look like golfballs. He takes them off to wrestle, exposing very tiny, black eyes. He does not see very well in the ring, being rather farsighted.

Ring Attire: Wears a matching blue mask and t-shirt with the letters 'BB' in pieced-out electrical tape acros the chest and a big blue trashbag as a cape. The shirt is tucked into almost-matching blue tights and often rides out during matches to expose a very hairy gut.

Always comes to the ring with a rum and coke in his hand which he'll set on a corner of the apron for quick access when thirsty.

In-Ring Style: Brawler, with some technical and minor aerial ability mixed in - akin to Bret Hart if he'd forgotten most everything he knows.

airplane spin (he's often so dizzy himself that he staggers over to his drink, also a good time to light up for a few)
inverted atomic drop
cobra clutch slam
various bulldogs
flurries of shots to the head with kicks to the gut mixed in
snapmare driver

Finisher: The Big Dirty, which is a brain buster (held up as long as possible with a smaller opponent) directly followed
by a running leg drop and cradle pin.

-will at times assail someone in the crowd or an announcer, forcibly taking their shirt off to use as a towel before throwing it back at them.
-will throw his opponent under the ring to buy time to go off to steal food or beer from fans ringside. will
also ambush opponents upon their crawling out, just take a break and smoke a butt or offer to sell hash to anyone with an ear.
-if dazed, he'll occasionally try to light up before realizing he lacks both a lighter and cigarette.
-will use his trashbag cape to strangle opponents
-has a lacky, Corey Trevor, run out to refill his drink during matches. Trevor looks like a skeletal alien, 6'3" and 155 lbs, he runs out carrying a bottle of rum and an ice bucket with a bottle of rc cola. Trevor also provides the Blue Bastard with a cigarette, should one be desired.
-Keeps a lighter in his tights and doesn't hesitate to burn an opponent if he's in trouble

Personality: Caustic. Unflinchingly stupid. Always focused on the immediate though also capable of occasional strategy in the ring.

Background: He lives in a storage facility, sleeping in his car which has 3 of its doors left and is peppered with dents,
dings and bullet holes. He's the kind of guy who may miss spots, over/undersell, land blows too hard and come to the ring hungover and stinking; one who other wrestlers complain about having to deal with.

He's an amalgamation of three lead characters on the Canadian tv series Trailer Park Boys, though I'll refrain from using their exact quotes.

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