[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Christian Sands hitting the Sand Blaster on an unknown opponent.
CUT TO: Karl Brown nailing someone with the Dragon's Bite.
CUT TO: Jonathan Marx slapping an intense STF on an unknown individual.
CUT TO: Adam Benjamin knocking the absolute bejesus out of an opponent with a shining wizard.
CUT TO: The Crimson Calling destroying their opponent with a Crimson Crasher.
CUT TO: Beast delivering a high impact Tiger Driver '91 to an unnamed man.
CUT TO: Dan Ryan, an evil grin on his face, stomping his massive frame towards the camera.
CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]
[Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "Dan Ryan: Stomper Of Jobbers", "I AM A WALTZER", "Christian Sands Is The Sultan Of Workrate", "I Came To See Beast", "I WANT TYRONE WALKER TO HAVE MY BABIES", "FEEL THE BLITZ!!!", "Troy Douglas = Ratings", and finally, "WE PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO EMPEROR MARX".]
[Before we can so much as cut to the announce table, "Dark Machine" by Paul Oakenfold hits the speakers, and the crowd's roaring quickly turns to loud boos.]
DT: Welcome, everyone, to Empire Pro Wrestling's Aggression, live from Miami, Florida! I'm Dave Thomas, and with me is Mike Neely - and it looks as if we're about to be addressed by the World's Heavyweight Champion right off the bat tonight!
MN: What a way to open the show! Wonder what he's got to say?
[The boos of the crowd intensify as Christian Sands walks down the ramp, the title belt slung over his shoulder; he wears Oakley shades and a black trenchcoat over a matching turtleneck and jeans. His chin is lifted imperiously as he waves off the fans. Stepping into the ring, he immediately grabs the mic from ring announcer Tony Fatora.]
SANDS: If I could have your attention...
[The fans cut Sands off, booing him rather loudly. Unmoved, Sands waits for the crowd to die down before speaking again.]
SANDS: Yes, thank you, you're all idiots. Now shut up when the Champion of the World is speaking. NOW then. As I was saying... there's a problem here tonight. Last week, I did something nobody would expect me to do when I offered Beast a rematch. However, the monkeys in the front office have neglected to take notice of this action. I would like to know, monkeys, exactly why my match with Beast remains unscheduled. One would think that the Champion of the World would receive a little more respect from management in such matters, hm? Come on, boys, get out here and tell me to my face exactly what kind of **** you're trying to pull on me-
[The EmpireTron flickers, and the fans offer a HUGE pop as the screen shifts to show Dan Ryan sitting behind his desk, smiling.]
RYAN: Miiiister Sands. I take it you have a few issues with management, huh?
SANDS: You owe me some answers, Ryan. Why the HELL has my match not been-
RYAN: Easy there, killer. Don't blow a gasket, huh? You want to know why your rematch with Beast isn't scheduled this week? I'll tell you. But first, let me fill you in on the responsibilities of being a World Champion.
SANDS: I don't-
RYAN: AS World Champion, a very important part of your job is to draw money for the promotion in the most effective manner possible. As champion, you are of course the top draw in the promotion by default, so it's your responsiBILity to conduct yourself in a manner that will sell more tickets, draw more ratings, and pop more Pay-Per-View buys. In this case, your promised rematch with Beast would draw television ratings, but it would draw MORE Pay-Per-View buyrates by building anticipation. Therefore, I'll give you the rematch, Christian... at the upcoming Pay-Per-View, Unleashed!
[CROWD: *HUGE POP!*]
RYAN: But now that I think about it... The fans have already seen you and Beast in a match once before, Sands. Heaven forbid we present a recycled product to the viewing audience, hm?
SANDS: Don't screw with me, Ryan-
RYAN: SO, I think we'll shake things up a little. You'll get the rematch at Unleashed... and just so our product doesn't turn stale on us, it'll be you and Beast with your title on the line... In a sixteen-foot-high STEEL CAGE!
[The crowd ERUPTS at that. Sands doesn't seem to know whether to protest or offer thanks.]
RYAN: No need to thank me... I'm just doing what's in the fed's best interests. See? You got your rematch, and you can even draw a lot of money by doing it MY way. Good? Good. Enjoy.
[The EmpireTron winks off. Cut back to Sands, who is silent for a moment before raising the mic.]
SANDS: (sarcastically) Oh, I will, Danny. I suuuure will.
[With that, Sands tosses the mic aside and walks backstage, the crowd booing him heavily as he departs.]
DT: What an announcement from Dan Ryan! It's gonna be Beast challenging Sands at Unleashed, and it's gonna be in a steel cage!
MN: Dag, yo! That stuff's gonna kick some serious bootay! Those two tore the house down at Black Dawn, and I can't WAIT to see it again!
DT: You're exactly right, Mike! We've got to take a quick break, folks, but when we come back we've got some in-ring action for you! Brien Cage! Derek Stoltz! NEXT!
MN: (bored voice) Woohoo.