DT: Welcome back, everyone! These next three matches were signed by Dan Ryan as qualifiers for a match at Unleashed, which will decide our new Tag-Team Champions. In this next match, Blitz and Second Coming will face off!
MN: Aren't Blitz those guys named after Final Fantasy 10?
DT: Huh?
MN: You know, Blitzball... Final Fantasy 10 entrance music...
DT: ...You have no life.
MN: I do so! My, uh, cousin plays that game!
DT: Suuuuuuure.
MN: Really! I swear!
DT: Let's just send it down to Tony.
TONY FATORA: The following match up is scheduled for one fall and it is a qualifying match for the Triple Threat at Unleashed!!!!
[CUE UP: As the first chords of “Otherworld” blast out, the lights go out, a red and blue lights pulsing on the stage with the shrill rising between chords. As the drum joins the guitars, spotlights fall on the entranceway. Pyrotechnics fly from the sides of the entrance, and Blitz stands on the stage, Leonard in the middle, as the two wrestlers look around. When the words start up, there is another pyrotechnic explosion, and the three men walk down to the ring, Jecht and Max stepping over the top rope, standing in the center of the ring as another explosion, from the posts, cues the lights to come back up, as the music fades, ready for their opponents]
MN: Dag, yo! Any more explosions they will burn this arena down!
DT: Not likely.
MN: I think my hair is on fire!!
DT: If it is, it's from the gears in your head overheating.
TONY FATORA: And their opponents at a combined weight of 470 pounds!
[The Final Countdown" Europe Entrance: As the opening chords of "The Final Countdown" play, the arena goes black. As the introduction of the song continues, the words "A New Time Has Come" flash on the big screen above the ramp. As the words "The Final Countdown" are heard for the first time, an elaborate display of fireworks and lights signal the entrance of Matt Johansson and Bryan Storms. The two slide simultaneously under the bottom rope and pose on opposite turnbuckles, taunting the crowd.]
TONY FATORA: SECCCOONNNNNND COMMMMMMING!
[As Second Coming slides in the ring, the lights completely turn off as the EmpireTron shows a black cloud with a red fist rising from the bottom of the screen. the hand holds a lighting bolts as the picture shatters on screen then shows the words “Aodhan Lorigan and John Doe…The Black Thunder”. CUE UP: “Healing to Suffer Again” by Hatebreed as John Doe and Aodhan Lorigan walk down the ring with two chairs.]
DT: Hold on a moment, folks - the Black Thunder are making their way to ringside!
MN: Bah. Here I thought Ayodan was too busy teaching Doe how to tie his shoes.
[John and Aodhan fold out the chairs as the sit in them at ringside.]
[SFX: *DING* - Bell rings.]
DT: And Storms wasting no time as he attacks Max! Big clothesline from storms as Max gets up. Storms on hot pursuit - notices Max is up and lays him back down with a nice Dropkick.
MN: My dawg! That's the way to roll!
[Storms picks up Max and lifts up Max, nailing a hard suplex. Storms Irish Whips Max to his corner making a tag to Johansson.]
DT: Johansson and Storms putting the boots to Max in their corner as the referee begins to count. Storms back in his corner as Johansson drags Max the middle of the ring. Johansson locking a Sleeper Hold on Max as the referee making sure he’s not choking him - Look at Doe and Lorigan over there!
[Cameras cut over to Doe and Lorigan as they sit there laughing at Johansson and making faces at him.]
MN: Must've caught a glimpse of themselves in a mirror...
DT: Johansson is letting go of that hold and yelling at Doe and Lorigan! Max making the tag as Johansson is swearing up a storm at Doe and Lorigan! ROLL UP PIN BY MAX!
[1... 2... Kick out by Johansson. Jecht mounts Johansson and starts punching him. The referee is warning Jecht about that closed fist as he gets off Johansson.]
DT: Blind tag by Storms as he charges at Jecht, BUT Jecht HITS A NICE TRIP UP NOW IS LOCKING IN A STF!
[As Jecht holds the STF Johansson rushes in the ring and kicks Jecht, breaking the hold.]
DT: Jecht getting up and pushing the referee out of the way as he locks his arms around Johansson
[Storms lays on his stomach holding his neck after the STF. Jecht tosses Johansson with a big Belly to Belly Suplex, causing Johansson to come down hard across Storms!]
MN: BOO! HISS! ILLEGAL!
DT: OH! Storms sandwitched as Johansson is DROPPED across him! That's a lot of weight landing on the back of Storms! And Jecht with the cover on Storms 1... 2... NO FAINT KICKOUT BY STORMS!
[Jecht lifts up Storms, but the smaller man delivers an elbow to Jecht's gut. As Jecht doubles over, Storms spins and delivers a pair of forearms, then hooks him up and scores with a huge brainbuster DDT!]
DT: What a maneuver by Bryan Storms, DRILLING Jecht with the brainbuster-style DDT - wait a minute, Storms is giving John Doe the finger! And Jecht's recovering!
MN: Why's he even wasting his time on that little ankle-biter?
[Doe and Lorigan pick up their chairs and rush into the ring. Doe goes right past Storms and hits Jecht in the head with the chair! Max rushes in and Aodhan hits him square in the head as well!]
DT: WHAT THE- DOE AND LORGIAN HAVE COST SECOND COMING THE MATCH!!!
FATORA: The winners of the match due to disqualification... BLLLLLITZ!!!!
MN: BULL! BULL! TURN OVER THE RULING!
[As Jecht and Max roll out of the ring, Storms turns around and gets hit in the head with the chair. Johansson slides into the ring and Aodhan just lays him flat out cold with a hard chairshot that leaves Johansson’s headprint it the chair!]
DT: And Lorigan pushing Johansson’s limp body out of the ring as Doe continues to hit Storms with that chair!
MN: CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE SWAT TEAMS! CALL THE HUMANE SOCIETY! THIS IS NOT RIGHT!
[Doe lifts Storms to his feet as he looks at the crowd. Doe drags Storms to a corner and hits him yet again in the head with the chair, and Doe calls Aodhan over to him. Aodhan grabs the chair from Doe’s hands and holds it in front of Storms' face.]
DT: What the hell is going on! Doe is going to the other end of the ring as Aodhan holds that chair dead in front of Storms face!
MN: I'M TELLING YOU, CALL THE COPS!!!
[Doe climbs the turnbuckle and taunts as the crowd starts the cheer. Doe leaps off the turnbuckle, cameras start going off as Doe dropkicks the chair right into the face of Bryan Storms! Blood rushes down the face of Storms as he squirms in the ring. Referees rush down to the ring and slide in dragging Storms body out of the ring and backstage. Security guards follow, restraining both Doe and Aodhan and ushering them out of the ring as the crowd roars!]
DT: GOOD GOD!!! FROM COAST TO COAST - A VAN TERMINATOR BY JOHN DOE TO BRYAN STORMS!!!
CROWD: Doe! Doe! Doe! Doe! Doe!
MT: (crying)
[CUE UP: “Healing to Suffer Again” By Hatebreed, as Doe and Lorigan celebrate in the ring. Doe and Lorigan go backstage]
DT: The issue between John Doe and Bryan Storms continues to escalate, as Doe has thrown down the gauntlet to the New Icon!
MN: This isn't happening. Wake me up. This is a bad nightmare. Only in a nightmare can an awesome guy like Storms get punked out by a dwarf like Doe.
DT: I assure, you, Mike. You're awake.
MN: I know, and that's what scares me. I hope Storms kicks that little gnome's ass at Unleashed, man. I'm gonna take great pleasure in watching Doe squirm and scream "I Quit".
DT: We'll just have to see. We've got to take a break folks, but when we come back, the Black Thunder will be in action against Golem and X-Ecutioner! Don't go away!
[Cut to a commercial for Maize Midget brand creamed corn.]
[Backstage: The staff entrance at the back of the building opens and stepping into the confines of the Von Braun Civic Center is none other than everyones favorite bastard child of society, Tyrone Walker. Cruising through the people that move from place to place, Walker pays no attention to any of them as he heads somewhere...]
"Walker."
[His eyebrow cocking as he slows to a stop in mid-stride and turns on his heel to come face to chest with the barrel-chested owner of the company, Dan Ryan, the Egobuster, you may have heard of him.]
WALKER: Eh...
[Noticably, Walker tilts his head up to look him eye to eye.]
RYAN: You're late...again."
WALKER Your point?"
RYAN: (glaring hard) Let's back up here for a minute kid..."
[Walker smirks at that remark, but doesn't say anything in retort.]
RYAN: ...you may have gotten away with raising all sorts of hell in the minor leagues, but this is Empire Pro Wrestling, more importantly, it's MY company and whether you like it or not you work for this company and you WILL do as you are told.
[Walker just smirks more an audible 'heh' is heard.]
RYAN: That includes showing up on time and doing your promo work when it's demanded of you. As for tonight, all you need to do is give the audience a good show. Go out there, wow them with your spot monkey flippy flops and Beast will handle the rest. I'm sure even you can manage that much.
[Without another word, Dan Ryan blows right past Walker, leaving him there where he stands. Walker turns to watch Ryan walking away and an evil grin of mischief spreads across his face.]
WALKER: Heh, I'll give you a show...
[Cut back to ringside.]