TF: Th’ following contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducting first...
[CUE UP: “Stellar” Incubus. Sebastian Dodd emerges from the entranceway, looking smug as always as he merely soaks in the boos of the Nashville crowd.]
TF: Standing 6’2” and weighing in at 245 pounds, he hails from NEW York City, New York, “YOUR HERO” SEBASSSSSSTIAAAAANNNN DOOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!! And his opponent..,
[The arena is bathed in darkness seconds before "Rainmaker" blares out, causing a cascade of green and white lights to flicker across the arena in time to the music and pyro to explode from the side of the stage. With the first words, Karl steps through the curtains and the crowd goes completely insane with cheers. He high-fives fans either side of the aisle, stopping for autographs along the way, as he walks to the ring. Circles the ring once, then vaults over the top rope, standing on the second rope, arms aloft, saluting the fans on each side of the ring, before waiting in the centre of the ring for his opponent.]
TF: From Nottingham, England, standing 6 foot and tipping the scales at 211 pounds, KARL “THE DRAGOOOOOOOOOON” BROOOOOOOWWWWWWNNN!!!!!!!!
DT: Nashville loves the Dragon, Mike Neely!
MN: Well why not, we are DOWN-town, baby!
[SFX: Bell rings *dingdingding*]
DT: Brown and Dodd circle, and here comes The Dragon with a quick single leg shot. Fireman’s Carry takedown, no, Dodd gets a go behind. Looks for the German suplex, but Karl Brown with the snap mare to bring Dodd to the ground!
MN: Pity. Looks like the Hardcore Dragon is back to being the Technical Dragon.
DT: Both men to their feet, and they go into a collar and elbow tie-up. Brown with the arm drag, reversed into a drop toe hold by Sebastian Dodd, and the Manhattanite goes quickly into a rear chinlock.
MN: Hahaha, you said “rear”.
DT: Juvenile.
[Brown quickly slides out of the hold and regains his base. Sensing he has the advantage, Dodd gets greedy and looks for a wicked clothesline, but the technical expert Brown smartly drops to his knees and swiftly elbows “Your Hero” in the gut. As Dodd doubles over from the loss of air, Brown quickly drops down again with a schoolboy rollup.]
DT: SCHOOLBOY OUT OF NOWHERE BY BROWN... ONE...
TWO...
And a kickout by Your Hero!
MN: That was almost over really fast.
[Looking to capitalize on his momentum, Brown stalks in on Dodd and whips him into the ropes. On the rebound, Brown hits a quick hiptoss then flows rapidly into a seated Dragon Sleeper.]
DT: There’s that Dragon Sleeper! The move Karl Brown may do better than ANY man in wrestling!
MN: Downtown’s arsenal is as profound as anybody’s, and that could be what gives him the advantage tonight over the relatively inexperienced Sebastian Dodd.
DT: That’s right Mike. Wait, did I just say that?
MN: Yes you did, Burgerman. I said something SMART.
DT: Well, it had to happen eventually. Karl Brown still grinding in that Dragon Sleeper, he’s putting pressure on the back and neck of Sebastian Dodd as well as effectively shortening Dodd’s air supply.
MN: Air Supply?
DT: That was bound to happen too.
[The referee checks on Sebastian Dodd, pulling his arm up in the air. However, this serves to jolt Dodd, who tosses referee Bryan Weatherby aside and fires three quick elbows to the side of Brown’s head, breaking the hold. Dodd works his way back to his feet and again charges towards Brown, but the Dragon hits a drop toe hold that sends Dodd’s face crashing into the bottom turnbuckle.]
DT: Drop toe hold onto the turnbuckle by Karl Brown, and Sebastian Dodd’s nose may be broken!
MN: That does NOT look good in slo-mo, Daaaaavey.
DT: Brown pulls Dodd back to the center of the ring, and he’s putting the Boston Crab on him! Dodd’s back has to be SCREAMING in pain right now!
MN: Backs can scream?
DT: Your Hero is trying furiously to reach the ropes, but Karl Brown is not relenting! Dodd with a desperate dive, but Brown just pulls him back! The Dragon knows that while this move may not get Dodd to submit, it’ll certainly soften him up for Brown’s versatile offense!
MN: A rookie trying to get out of a Downtown submission? We could be here a while. Somebody get me a damn Snickers bar! We’re gonna be waiting for a long-
DT: -BACKSLIDE BY DODD!!!!!!
MN: What the...
DT: ONE...
TWO...
KARL BROWN SLIPS OUT AT THE LAST MOMENT!!!!!!!
MN: How the hell did that happen?
[In split-screen replay, we see Dodd madly kicking to get out of the Boston Crab. As he lunges for the rope one last time, he manages to catch Brown in the face with a boot to break the hold, and as Brown wobbles backwards, Dodd alertly catches his arms and tilts forward.]
DT: An absolutely terrific counter by Sebastian Dodd, and we may have just seen a change in momentum.
MN: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!!!!
DT: Thank you, David Bowie. Karl Brown is furious at himself for letting that happen, and he’s looking to take the advantage right back. Clothesline attempt...MISSED!!! Brown turns around and he’s met with a swift knee to the abdomen by Dodd! Double underhook...and the butterfly suplex!!!
MN: That’s such a stupid name for a wrestling move.
[Now its Dodd’s turn with the submissions, as he locks on a seated full nelson stretch. Brown struggles for awhile, but he is eventually able to separate Dodd’s locked hands and pry himself loose of the hold, though the grabs the back of his neck gingerly, clearly sore from the aftereffects.]
DT: Sebastian Dodd may have just taken a page from Karl Brown’s book right there, softening up the neck for his D-O-DDT.
MN: Hmm. The Downtown Karl Brown System for Using Submissions to Soften An Opponents Neck for a Modified Reverse DDT. Nah, too long a title.
DT: Whatever. Both men are up, and Dodd is back to work on Karl Brown. He’s got Brown in a front facelock, and he HITS a wicked snap suplex! He rolls through, and gets another!!! Rolls through again and...FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX!!!! Dodd bridges back...
ONE...
TWO...
THRRRRRRRNOOOOOOO!!!! SO VERY, VERY CLOSE FOR DODD!!!!!
MN: Newbie’s got a shot against Downtown.
DT: Karl Brown managed to kickout, but doing so had to take a lot of energy out of him. Sebastian Dodd’s on a hot streak after that backslide, and Brown will need something big to turn the tides once again.
MN: Of course, that’s something that Downtown’s very, very practiced at doing.
DT: Dodd brings Brown back to his feet and blasts him with a couple of blunt forearm blows across the smaller man’s sternum. Irish whip now...and a high impact spinebuster on the rebound by Sebastian Dodd! He covers and hooks the leg...
ONE...
TWO...
NOT THIS TIME!!!! Karl Brown summoned up just enough energy to get the left shoulder up before Weatherby’s three count. However, it’s clear that Sebastian Dodd may have discovered the secret to taking down one of EPW’s biggest stars.
MN: If this kid beats Karl, then he’s going places.
DT: The Dragon is definitely out of his game right now. He’s up, but he’s groggy. Brown tries to throw a quick roundhouse kick at Dodd, but it’s BLOCKED! Enziguiri attempt...NOBODY’S HOME!!!! Dodd applies the rear waistlock...and he German Suplexes Karl Brown from a lying position!!! He just flipped the Englishman off the mat and over his head with total ease! He’s moving to the top rope, and he’s gonna try and end this one with a bang!
MN: Maybe not the smartest idea.
DT: FROG SPLAAAAAAANOOOOO!!!! Karl Brown mustered what had to be his last ounce of strength to slide out of the ring! Now Dodd is on the mat! Brown from the outside...SLINGSHOT LEGDROP...YEEEESSSSS!!!!! The pin...
ONE...
TWO...
NO!!!!!! Sebastian Dodd still has plenty of fight left in him, but Karl Brown is on the warpath!
MN: Okay, maybe Seb DOESN’T have that good of a chance.
DT: Both men up, and Dodd is INCENSED at the fact he couldn’t put the Dragon away. Dodd runs the ropes...Brown leapfrogs over. Both men on the rebound...DOUBLE NECKBREAKER!!!! Both men are down and out!
MN: Aw, crap. I hate when they both kill each other. Now we have to sit and wait for somebody to move.
DT: Bryan Weatherby has commenced his count.
BW: THREE...
FOUR...
FIVE...
SIX...
SEVEN...
EIGHT...
NI-
DT: Brown rolls over and drapes the arm over Sebastian Dodd!
MN: This is over, Dodd’s dead.
DT: Weatherby’s count...
ONE...
TWO...
THREEEEEEEE!!! WAIT!!! WAIT JUST A MINUTE!!! Sebastian Dodd kicked out a microsecond before Weatherby’s hand hit the mat the third time!!! We’re still not done here in Nashville.
MN: That, I CAN NOT freaking believe.
DT: Both men have finally made it to their feet, and you can see just how tired they are. This has been a fast-paced, grueling contest, and neither man looks like they want to be the first to give in.
MN: Yeah, because that would mean they LOSE.
DT: Smartass.
MN: Just like always.
DT: Sebastian Dodd looks like he has no idea where he is right now, but Karl Brown will jolt the New Yorker back to reality with a textbook dropkick!!! Brown finally back on the offensive in this match! He whips Dodd into the corner...RUNNING 180 BICYCLE KICK!!!! He hit Sebastian right in the jaw with that nasty martial arts kick! On the rebound...RELEASE NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!!
MN: Downtown’s on a tear, and when he gets like this, it’s hard to recover.
DT: Brown goes over to Dodd, and he’s looking to reapply the Dragon Sleeper, but Dodd won’t let him! There’s some juice left in this kid’s tank yet! Brown tries once again to hook it in, but Dodd is back to his feet! He slips out...DIAMOND CUTTER!!! Last ditch Diamond Cutter by Sebastian Dodd!!! That should do it...
ONE...
TWO...
THREEEEEEE!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! HOW IN GOD’S NAME DID KARL BROWN KICK OUT!!!!!
MN: One guy is going to have to murder the other one in the middle of the ring for this thing to end.
DT: Sebastian Dodd may have found the way to end it now, as he’s put Brown up top. He hooks the head...SUPERPLEX!!! WAIT, NO! Karl Brown shoved Dodd off of him at the last second!! Now Brown with the front facelock and...MY GOD!!! FLIPPING TORNADO DDT BY BROWN!!!!
MN: I think we know what’s coming next from Downtown!!!
DT: He’s setting up the Dragon’s Bite! This’ll end it for sure!!! Up goes Dodd and...SEBASTIAN FLOATS OVER!!!! He got out of the Bite! Waistlock...GERMAN SUPLEX!!!! THE BRIDGE...
ONE...
TWO...
THRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
MN: HE DID IT!!!!!
DT: I DON’T BELIEVE MY EYES!!!! SEBASTIAN DODD JUST PULLED OUT THE UPSET OF THE YEAR HERE ON AGGRESSION!!!!
MN: That came out of thin freaking air!
TF: The winner of the match via pinfall ... “YOUR HEROOOOOOOOOOO” SEBASTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!
DT: My GOD, what a win for Sebastian Dodd here tonight, as he defies the odds and scores the pin on Karl Brown with the German suplex!
MN: I didn't think he'd do it at first, but it was REALLY CLOSE!
DT: Don't take anything away from Karl Brown - but tonight was Dodd's night, and he showed the world that he's here to stay.
MN: I'll say.
DT: We've got to take a quick break, but when we come back, it's TAG-TEAM ACTION!
[Cut to a commercial for sugar crunchy Cheat Commandos-Os sugar cereal.]