MN: What a great match that was!

DT: You got that right, for once....... Folks we have one hell of a match up next for you. We've got...

[ Just then the Lights drop out in the entire arena, so dark that you can't even see the hand in front of your face. "Street Spirit" by Radiohead begins to play over the PA.]

MN: Whats going on?!

DT: Wait! I actually know that music.

DM: I don't believe it?!! How is this possible? I didn't even know this guy wrestled anymore...

MN: Dave I'm afraid of the dark... please hold me......

DT: Get off of me you wuss!!

[ The darkness is shattered by an eruption of Flame and Smoke from the 4 cornerposts. Old school fans in the crowd start finally placing the theme song and begin to chant "FATHER! FATHER! FATHER!” Not a person in the arena is using their seat at this point – some because of recognition, others from the theatricality. ]

DT: Can you believe this! What a development folks. The Father of All UnHoly is here at EPW!

DM: Does he have to fill the arena with so much smoke though? [Coughing waving his hands about to clear the smoke.]

[ The Pyrotechnics die off and the smoke begins to clear. Two figures silhouette's can be seen in the ring, one of a "well built" woman and one of a man. The crowd is continuing to chant "Father! Father! Father!". The Father begins to walk around the ring, from turn-buckle to turnbuckle, looking into the crowd smiling, enjoying the chants. He is wearing black pants decorated with flames up each leg and "TPK" written on his backside. He is with his long-time "partner in crime" Miss Jameson. Formerly known as Miss Cheeba in her early career, she took her true name at the fathers advice, reportedly because he loves Jameson Irish Whiskey. She is wearing a full spandex suit, black of course, the suit exploiting every curve on her body. The Father motions to ringside for a mic and is promptly given one. The crowd begins to quiet, his first words in a wrestling ring in almost 4 years, now you can almost hear a pin drop.]

UF: Today is a great day for EPW! Today, is a great day for Mr. Ryan, EPW's brilliant owner. Today, he made the greatest business decision in history. Today!!! He hired ME!

[The arena erupts once again.]

DT: A fan favorite across the world the Father of All UnHoly is not only a wrestler but a bookie, a casino owner, a strip club owner, has an original clothing line, and lives a jet set lifestyle like none other. His exploits have been raved about worldwide. But I haven’t heard from or seen him in years.

MN: I'd just like 5 minutes alone with that lovely Miss Jameson...

DM: 5 minutes? Don't you mean like 30 seconds....... hell you'd be luck to get the head in.

[Mike looks as if he was just wounded and Dave laughs. The camera pans back the the UnHoly One.]

UF: Today! You the fans should thank Mr. Ryan. He's is allowing you to see one of the wonders of the world. One of the Greatest Shows on Earth! You get to see ME, Turn this company upside down. Noone is safe! Now I've been told that I have to do my time. I have to earn my shot. As if "I" need to prove anything to anyone. My career speaks for itself!

[ The Unholy Father fans in the crowd begins to BOOOO and chant "Ryan Sucks! Ryan Sucks!"]

UF: Now, now don't be to quick to judge! I've accepted my fate. I've accepted the fact that I have to "Work" my way up.

[the UnHoly One turns to Miss Jameson and smiles.]

UF: We just feel bad for the "Workers" in those matches. You see when it comes down to it, if it takes 5 matches, 10, whatever....... That belt that EPW is allowing a woman to wear is gonna be around my waist. I'm gonna show all you people who think this is a uni-sex sport just why a women shouldn't be in a ring with a real warrior! Someone who will do anything to achieve his goal. When that day comes that The "Queen of the Ring" finds herself in my reach you all will see how bad male on female violence can get! When I drop the "Nail in the Coffin" on your current EPW Champ the American Council for Violence Against Women is gonna protest all EPW events.

UF: Listen up EPW pencil pushers, get me a match soon or I'll start my own war backstage. Or maybe you want that, face it..... anything I do is good for ratings!

[The crowd erupts again and the Father of All UnHoly throws the mic toward the scorers table and proceeds to take the lovely Miss Jameson by the arm and lead her over the the apron. He spreads the ropes for her to duck under more easily and escorts her down the steps.]

DT: Can you believe this! The UnHoly is here at EPW. Noone is safe with that lunatic running around. The last time I saw him before the vicious beating Ric Sampson laid on him in the old SCW he was almost unbeatable. When he wrestled in HEW against people like Blade and HaVoC he was just learning and even then he was a force to be reckoned with.

MN: I'm just glad he brought the eye candy. What a set of......

DT: Thats enough!

MN: Fag.

DT: It is time now for yet another King of the Cage Round Two contest. We've already established that for ALL of these cage matches... the stakes are very high. To the winner of this tournament goes a shot at the Queen, herself--

MN: Or whomever the EPW World Champion may be!

DT: --at EPW Russian Roulette 2007! But *this* match has gotten PERSONAL! Earlier tonight, we saw these two competitors involved in a scuffle that resulted in ONE of them nearly knocked unconscious!

MN: I heard that Ice Tre SHATTERED Triple X's orbital bone around his eye! Knocked him straight out! That he got put into a coma and is pooping in a BAG now!

DM: Neely, please! What you're talking about is pure speculation based on rumors trickling out of the back and through this arena! Until we know the facts, we really shouldn't put that kind of news out there.

[The lights dim and the bass THUMPS.]

DT: Here we go!

["Bad as Can" by Beetlejuice does what it does as only it can do and the curtain parts. Ice Tre steps out, all smiles. Grill firmly in place, Tre struts down the aisle at a leisurely pace. He has an odd air of untouchable confidence to him whose origin is hard to discern. Sliding in ring, he gets no ring announcement and, instead, reveals a microphone from his back pocket.]

DM: Oh Lord.

[The lights slowly rise, the music slowly fades, and Ice Tre soaks in the cheers from the crowd like he were royalty.]

ICE TRE: The K'ANG, baby!

[The crowd roars, Tre raises a clenched fist above his head -- ever defiant.]

ICE TRE: K'ang of the Streets!! ... K'ang of the CAGE!!!

[He nodded his head as the crowd shared a laugh together.]

ICE TRE: Trippy-Triple! Double-Dipple! Sean Stevenz, where you at NOW, son? You come at me like you gon' step TO me! But you ain't nothin' but a *****!

[Mixed and muted response from the crowd, seemingly unsure of whom to
support.]

ICE TRE: I'll tell you where you at! You sure as hell ain't HERE! My peoplez tell me you left the building. Took your tore up ass to the hospital to get your BRAIN checked out. They tell me that Ice Tre gave Triple X a concussion.

[Tre giggles.]

ICE TRE: That's IT?!? A concussion? That's all it take to drive you off like NOTHIN'? You softer than I thought, Dipple. This ain't the way that The Tre wants to advance in the tournament. I'd MUCH rather move on the same way I did against Adam Benjamin; by completely dismantilfying your every weakness, exposiating each and every flaw, targetting yo' soft spots and utterly DOMINATING you. That's exactly what I planned to do to Triple X here tonight, fans. But, no. Instead? Instead I gotta ACCEPT a forfeit from the same man who thought it would be a good idea to talk about my MOMMA!

[More laughter as Tre puts on his hardest demeanor.]

ICE TRE: I don't care if I dissed your dead and moldified friend, Trip! Ain't NO ONE even MENTIONS my mammie! Especially not a weak-ass PUNK like YOU! So, tell you what ... I *will* accept your forfeit. I *will* move on to the next round of the tournament, and the next, and the last, and I *will* be the next K'ang of THIS CAGE, I *will* be the next EPW World Champion! And YOU, Stevenz? F'you know what's good for you? You gon' ahead and STAY gone.

[The light's dim, and suddenly, the opening chords to Jay Z's "Public Service Announcement" echoed over the PA system to a very strong response.

"ALLOW ME TO RE-INTRODUCE MYSELF … MY NAME IS…"

The beat drops as The Blue-Eyed Badass steps from behind the curtain, noticeably different . His right eye was, in fact, swollen, and he walked to the ring, as if he were a little dizzy. He didn’t acknowledge the crowd, or pose for pictures, like he’d normally do, but once he made it to the ring, and entered the cage, he looked up at his opponent, the confident, charismatic Ice Tre, and moved in for the immediate kill.]

DT: FLYING CLOTHESLINE BY TRIPLE X! I think the blue-eyed badass caught Ice Tre off of guard with that one. Stevens came to the ring, not his normal, charismatic, fun loving self, and I think it gave Tre a false sense of confidence. The minute Stevens entered the ring, he rushed Tre and nailed him with a clothesline that looked like it could’ve taken his head off!

MN: The end starts now…

DM: I’m not entirely sure what Ice Tre was thinking. Sure, if he injures Triple X he wins by forfeit … but, if he DOESN’T? He has an angry Sean Stevens trying to annihilate him in front of the entire world. This was not a smart move … Ice Tre needs to either get the job done the first time, or try to keep Sean as cool as he possibly can for an upset. This guy did neither.

DT: Stevens raises Tre up, he sends him to the ropes … ANOTHER FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

MN: It’s time to say good night to the King of the Streets.

DT: Triple X lifts Ice Tre up again, and tosses him into the steel cage! Ice Tre is screaming in anguish!

DM: I’m not so sure Trip is really as interested in winning this match as he is on HURTING Ice Tre.

MN: Which, again, brings to light the million dollar question. Why in the hell would Ice Tre tick this guy off?

DM: Because he’s an idiot?

MN: Ding, ding, ding, ding… You’ve won the grand prize!

DM: What’s the grand prize?

MN: A Budweiser. I’m going to the concession stand… You want anything, Dave?

DT: No, unlike some, I actually like to WORK when I’m being paid to do so.

MN: Your loss…

[Mike Neely takes off his headset, and begins to walk toward the aisle, taking one longer look at Ice Tre, who is now desperately trying to crawl to his feet. Neely shakes his head and continues walking up the aisle.]

DM [Yelling]: I can’t let him leave like this. [Standing up] HEY NEELY! GET ME SOME NACHOS, TOO!!

DT: This is a disgrace…

DM: What? Should I have put cheese on them?

DT: Back to the action inside of the ring. Ice Tre is now on his feet… he’s looking for Triple X, and rightfully so, Stevens in on the top turnbuckle, waiting for Tre to turn in his direction.

DM: Sean is measuring him…

DT: FLYING DROPKICK! Tre goes down … slllooooowwwwlllly. The crowd is going hysterical for Ice Tre, they actually LOVE this guy! Stevens raises Tre up once more … FACE FIRST INTO THE CAGE AGAIN!

DM: And, you know what happens next, don’t ya? Yep, here comes the blood.

DT: Tre is on his back in the center of the ring, as Stevens is again scaling the ropes… Sean looks down before leaping off of the ropes, and nailing Ice Tre with a vicious flying elbow. Ice Tre is holding his chest, gasping for air.

DM: This one has the potential to get really, really, really ugly.

DT: Really?

DM: Shut it.

DT: Tre is out, and Stevens is signaling for the official to open the cage door. Folks, this one is over with. Stevens slowly walks, no – saunters to the cage door, nothing but daylight in his path. He glances back at Ice Tre once more, who’s still seemingly unconscious. Trip approaches the door… Wait… What’s that?

[Suddenly, the crowd pops like crazy, as Ice Tre, laying flat on his back in the center of the ring, raises one arm in the air, giving Triple X the finger. Pissed, Trip refuses to exit the cage, asking the official to shut the door.]

DM: I’m not so sure this was so smart. Tre was in the clear, but now he’s got Stevens back in the ring, ready to inflict some more damage.

DT: Trip attempts to raise Tre to his feet … LOW BLOW BY ICE TRE!

[The arena rumbles…]

DT: Tre hops to his feet, and immediately bolts to the ropes… he bounces off… SPINNING HEEL KICK SENDS STEVENS TO THE MAT! THIS CROWD LOVES IT!!

DM: If you would have told me that Ice Tre would have gotten in even ONE maneuver I’d have bet you the house. But, see… this is where this idiot messes everything up. Ice Tre is in the center of the ring doing … something. Kinda looks like he’s having a seizure or something. Do we need medical attention?--

[Ice Tre glances down at Trip’s fallen body and begins doing the "Cabbage Patch" dance, sending the crowd into frenzy. Mid-dance, Ice Tre pauses, acknowledging the audiences reaction. He points to his chest, as if to say, "You want more of me?" before doing the worst rendition of the "Crip Walk" … EVER.]

DM: -- What in the HELL is that?

DT: I don’t know, but whatever it is, it’s got Tre’s attention, as he has failed to realize that Triple X has nipped up, and is standing behind him. Sean Stevens turns Tre around, and begins wailing away at his face! Tre’s trying to cover up, but it isn’t helping any!

DM: Here’s a thought. When you’ve got an opponent down, in a compromising positon … CAPITALIZE on it instead of breaking out nineteen eighties dance moves! God this is frustrating!

DT: Triple X sends Ice Tre to the ropes, back body drop!

DM: Tre hit hard, he’s grimacing! Ouch, he did land kind of awkward.

DT: Triple X moves in for the kill… he raises Tre up, and connects with a devastating clothesline from Hell, that has Tre all but out of it. Stevens heads to the cage door…

DM: It’s academic folks…

DT: Trip is almost there, but wait!! Is Ice Tre—

DM: --hulking up!?! This is getting ridiculously out of hand!

DT: Ice Tre is on his knees, it’s too late for him to actually stop Triple X from leaving the cage, but he has gotten his attention, by doing just what he did in this situation earlier, he's giving Sean Stevens the double bird!

DM: Mistake. Trip has reentered the cage, and I'm guessing he's not far off from killig Ice Tre.

DT: Tre is on his feet as Stevens closes in... Haymaker connects by Ice Tre! Left! Right! Another left! Ice Tre is going to town on Triple X and the audience is on their feet!!

DM: I do believe that Ice Tre may have found his formula. Just keep swinging punches and hope to God that one of them lands hard enough to give him enough time to exit the cage and move on in this tournament.

DT: Knee to the gut, Ice Tre bounces off the ropes... TRIPLE X LEAPS IN THE AIR.... FRANKENSTEINER! WOW! THAT CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! TRIPLE X COUNTERED ICE TRE WITH A PRECISE FRANKENSTEINER!

DM: Stevens looks pissed...

DT: Indeed he is. Triple X has a handful of hair, and he tosses Ice Tre face first into the steel cage! What is he going to do with him now--

DM: I'm guessing, Round two.

DT: Trip sends Tre face first into the steel cage once more on the opposite side of the ring! And, that cut that Triple X opened earlier has turned into a nasty gash!! Ice Tre is bleeding severely... blood loss at this rate usually ends with someone passing out!

DM: The end HAS to be near soon, however we get there, we just need to make sure we actually GET there. I'm not sure Ice Tre can take anymore...

[The rumbling of Mike Neely returning placing his headset on interfere's with the calling of the match, if only for a brief moment.]

DT: Well, look who finally decided to return to work.

MN: Don't be mad 'cuz you don't have the benefits that I have. Here ya go, partner...

DM[opens up his Budweiser and takes a sip]: Just what the doctor ordered...

MN: What'd I miss?

DM: A Massacre.

MN: Just what I thought...

DT: Stevens uses a handful of hair to raise Ice Tre up once again, ladies and gentlemen... this is the SIXTH or SEVENTH time Triple X will attempt to slam Ice Tre face first into the steel cage, and if he connects... I'm afraid Ice Tre could have brain damage.

MN: Personally, I think he already does.

DT: Triple X picks up some steam... he approaches the cage... and, yes! Ice Tre is out cold.

DM: Good night, party's over... Put the women and children to bed. HEY! Where in the hell are my nachos?!!?

MN: Oh, crap.

DM: Oh crap?!? What do you mean oh crap?

MN: Oh crap as in, Oh crap I FORGOT your nachos...

DM: If you need something done right, you should always do it yourself.

DT: Stevens has Ice Tre up one more time. Tre can barely stand, he's literally out on his feet. What is he going to do? .... X-FACTOR!! TRIPLE X CONNECTED WITH HIS FINISHER THE X-FACTOR! He planted that superkick right on the button of Ice Tre's chin. I don't think ANYONE would be able to get up from that...

MN: That's all she wrote.

DT: Trip signals for the cage to be opened, and glances back at Tre before stepping through. And, YES! This match is OVER!! Sean "Triple X" Stevens has avenged an earlier sucker punch at the hands of Ice Tre and weeks of trash talk... and, now he's one step closer to a date with the Queen of the Ring!

DM: Ice Tre actually put up way more fight than I imagined... and, showed a LOT of heart. I may be reaching far, but there may just be a future for this kid after all!

DT: Stevens kept knocking him down, Ice Tre kept getting back up, I certainly can respect that. If he keeps this work ethic, a little more training and Ice Tre could be a problem for some of the superstars here.

[Triple X pauses center aisle, and raises his arms in the air, to a very solid reaction from the crowd. He was still a little wobbly as a result of his concussion, but satisfied with the result of the match. He began walking up the aisle, when the VIDEO-tron came on, focused on Ice Tre, in the middle of the ring, busted up, bloodied, but on his knees, moving into the standing position. Tre looked directly into the camera -- and, once more ... stuck his middle finger up, yelling an expletive in the process. That apparently was the straw that broke the camel's back, as Triple X turned back around and walked down the aisle, headed towards the ring.]

MN: Uh-oh! Ice Tre is really asking for it. When will this guy learn?!?

DT: Sean "Triple X" Stevens is once again ringside, and wait, what is he doing-- he pushes the timekeeper off of his chair, and is bringing it with him into the ring!

DM: Folks, I think Stevens has finally had enough!

DT: Tre notices, and is trying to climb out of the cage before Triple X can catch him but it's TOO LATE! CHAIRSHOT!

MN: Ouch!

DT: Stevens nailed Ice Tre in the back, causing him to lose his grip on the cage, and hit the mat! And, now he's wailing away!! Ice Tre has GOT to be in excruciating pain!!

DM: Stevens looks possessed.

DT: Ice Tre is out, as Triple X places the steel chair on his chest... what is he about to do?!!?

MN: He's about to seal the deal, that's what...

DT: FROGSPLASH ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR! ICE TRE IS GRIMACING IN PAIN! HE CAN'T STAY STILL! HE MUST'VE BROKEN A RIB OR SOMETHING!

DM: And, he's not done, either. Stevens is in excruciating pain himself, landing on that steel chair, but he's a man possessed.

DT: Stevens raises Tre up... he hooks him for what looks like an Inverted DDT... NO! He lifts him over his shoulder, OSAKA STREET CUTTER! STEVENS NAILED ICE TRE WITH THE X-TERMINATOR! POOR ICE TRE'S JAW MAY BE BROKEN!

MN: And, it still doesn't look like he's done...

DT: Stevens picks up the chair again... CHAIRSHOT TO THE FACE! Ice Tre is bleeding profusely! Somebody has to stop this... this man is a MANIAC!

MN: I mean, I'm not the biggest Ice Tre fan in the world, but even I've gotta admit... the kid doesn't deserve THIS.

DM: Somebody should really get in there and help this guy out. There's no wrestler's in the back willing to give Ice Tre a hand?

DT: Apparently not. Triple X places the chair on Ice Tre's chest again... before scaling the ropes... HE LEAPS OFF THE ROPES FEET FIRST ONTO THE CHAIR!!! Ice Tre is coughing up BLOOD! And, now... even the crowd is fed up with this... listen to them voice their opinion!

[Triple X stands up in the center of the ring, looking down at Ice Tre, who is bloodied, bruised, and fallen. He takes his hand, and wipes it across Ice Tre's bloody face, and wipes the blood on his chest. Then, smiles sadistically...As he finally begins to notice the resounding chorus of boos that have now been sent in his direction. Triple X stood there, looking into the crowd, almost in shock, before exiting the cage, to water bottles, popcorn and everything else.]

DT: Finally, we've got some EMT's out here to clean up the mess that THIS man has caused. Finally, Ice Tre can go and see a doctor. Triple X, I hope you are happy! You may have ended the career of one of Empire Pro Wrestling's future stars! I hope this makes you proud, you bastard!

MN: Ease up, Dave. We don't want to lure that crazed maniac over here. I think it'll be a VERY long time before we see Ice Tre in an EPW ring again. And, I've just about lost my appetite.

DM: I agree. I'm concerned about Ice Tre's LIFE, forget wrestling!

[Stevens walks up the ramp, to a resounding chorus of boos. At the top of the stage, before exiting the curtain, Trip turns to face the crowd once more, as the boos continue forcing him to exit through the curtain.]