“Hey, you ready?”
C.P. Nero, one half of the Proletariat, asked his partner C.E. Augustus who was sitting on one of the locker room’s benches. Nero had just come in. Both men were in their ringwear, Augustus still hadn’t put on his wrestling boots. The Proletariat had a shot at the World Tag Team titles taken away, but a renewed shot was still on the line tonight. It wasn’t just any run of the mill Aggression for them, not tonight.
Augustus, the big man, glanced at Nero for a second before focusing on taping his ankles.
“Does it look like I’m ready?” Augustus shot back.
“Hey man,” Nero tried to calm down the big man with a smile. “Just a question, nothing more. So, you want to talk about this upcoming match, or what?” Nero was uneasy, Augustus hadn’t been in a good mood for a week.
“What is there to talk about?” Augustus had just finished taping his ankles. He was tying up the laces on his wrestling boots.
“Well, you know…” Nero wasn’t sure what to say, Augustus and he never talked strategy. “It’s a big match. Leonard will probably get involved.”
“And…” Nero struggled for words. “We don’t want that?”
“Uh, glad we’re on the same page.” Nero let out an uneasy smile.
“Yeah, now I’m ready,” Augustus had just finished tying up his boots. “Let’s go.”
Augustus walked out of the locker room, Nero followed suit. The cameras kept rolling for a few seconds, until the door slowly closed.
TONY FATORA: Th’ following tag team contest is set for one fall!
[CUEUP: “Break the Silence” by Killswitch Engage. Nero and Augustus step out too a chorus of boos, as a fan holds up a rather unflattering sign of them with Karl Marx. Neither is really that fussed by it, keeping their noses up at the fans]
TONY FATORA: Weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and fifty four pounds, “The Second Coming of Marx” C.P. Nero… “The Iron Curtain” C.E. Augustus… THE PROLETARIAT!!
DT: It’s certainly been an interesting time for the Proletariat here in Empire Pro, as they picked up the win at Wrestleverse in Los Angeles against the Motor City Maniacs and Saviours of Wrestling! Who’d’ve thought they’d progress so quickly through a very strong tag division here?
DM: They’re good, no doubt. This is a match up I’ve been waiting to see since the four way in Seattle, it’s going to be interesting.
TONY FATORA: And their opponents…
[CUEUP: “Links 2-3-4” by Rammstein. An explosion as the guitars kick in signals the arrival of Max and Jecht, stepping out behind Leonard Johnson as the crowd really lays into them as the trio make their way to the ring]
TONY FATORA: At a total combined weight of six hundred and sixty six pounds, being led to the ring by their manager, Leonard Johnson… Max… Jecht… BLITZ!!
DT: They were the tag team champions for a week, but you’ve got to wonder what that cowardly attack by the Chronic Collizion took out of them.
MN: HEY! I’ll have none of that said about the TRUE tag champs!
MN: The Chronic Collizion! They never lost the belts, so they’re still champs in my mind.
DT: I thought you were a Joey Melton mark.
MN: A man reserves the right to change his mind.
DT: I’ve only ever heard that saying used to refer to a woman.
DM: Well it was the second time that the Chronic Collizion had laid Blitz out in the ring, the first being back at the first Wrestleverse – Blitz never got to face them after the first one, so I’m guessing they’ve got something in mind this time.
DT: And don’t forget, Dan Ryan stripped Blitz of the titles and returned them to the Cameron Cruise Project! I thought IrishRed was in charge for now?
DM: Don’t look at me! Jecht is FUMING in there, and Max is still looking pissed.
DT: The winner gets a shot at the Cameron Cruise Project at WrestleSTOCK, as announced by Dan Ryan earlier tonight.
MN: You mean the Chronic Collizion.
DT: Whatever, it was a huge reprieve for Melton and Cruise who were stripped of the titles in Des Moines.
DM: Blitz still don’t look happy, but Augustus is stepping out onto the apron, so Nero’s going to be starting – Max is pretty much forcing Jecht out of the ring as Leonard is having words with the biggest man in this match, but it looks like we’re ready to go in this… former title match?
DT: Whatever we call it, Nero charging in as Max has his back turned, and scores with a forearm to the back of the head! He’s going straight for the big man, slugging him again with another hard right hand. There’s the Irish whip, but Max with a shoulder block to take him down!
DM: Even against the smaller of Blitz, Nero’s giving away ninety two pounds. He had the right idea trying to take it to him quickly and not let him get his bearings but that Irish whip was ill advised.
DT: Nero holding the back of his head as Max picking him up, and a short-arm clothesline takes him down again!
DM: This could be a huge match for the Proletariat if they win, but Max seems like he’s keeping his cool, picking Nero up again and applying a standing side headlock.
MN: No way are the Pro’s gonna lose tonight! I mean, just look at Jecht fuming on the outside, he’s gonna get himself disqualified if he gets in there.
DT: Jecht is fuming, but Max looks to be in control with that headlock applied – Nero trying to force him off the ropes, but Max with the hold locked in tight meaning the smaller man’s got to grab the ropes to break the hold! Max with a clubbing blow to the back as he lets go, and now he’s pretty much taunting Augustus to get into the ring!
DM: I don’t know how smart that would be, but Max is… nope, he takes Nero down with a sidewalk slam instead!
Kickout just before the two there, and Max yanks him to his feet! Dragging him over, there’s the tag to Jecht, who comes in with a CLUBBING fist to the exposed ribs! Picking the smaller man up… runs him straight into the corner, and he’s yelling at Augustus to tag himself in!
MN: Maybe I called the wrong guy Big Loafy…
DM: Augustus gladly tagging himself into the match, and Jecht charges in! Augustus sidestepping though, and CLOCKS the big man with a right hand as he turns round! Augustus with another right, and another, Irish whip across the ring, reversal…
MN: NO GO!
DT: Both men still standing after that mid-ring collision, and I know that both have wanted to square off against each other since Seattle – Leonard’s shouting at Jecht from the outside though!
DM: Probably because he let the fresh man in when Blitz had a clear advantage over Nero.
DT: Jecht ignoring his manager, Augustus backing to the ropes… and no dice! Jecht jaw-jacking, runs the ropes himself this time, Augustus bracing… neither man goes down!
MN: This is getting monotonous.
DT: There’s very little weight difference between these two, as they both run the ropes, and Max with a knee to the back of Augustus!
DT: The referee didn’t see it, and Jecht now taking Augustus by the arm… big arm wringer, and there’s the tag back to Max.
DM: This is why they held the titles for so long – they work well as a team, which is something you didn’t see from the champions last week.
DT: And Max in with a kick to the gut there, Max and Jecht… double suplex on Augustus! The ring just shook with what must be over a thousand pounds slamming down into it!
MN: They wouldn’t be able to do that to Dalkichev.
DT: Jecht’s slammed him before. Regardless, Max picking Augustus up again, driving the point of the elbow into the back of the neck! Steady pace here in the early going from Blitz, and Leonard Johnson’s looking a bit more relieved than he was earlier.
DM: They’re professionals, so even if what happened earlier is affecting them they’re not going to show it that much.
DT: Max in control, applying the side headlock in the centre of the ring – I expected a lot more power-based offence from Blitz, but Max is really slowing it down there with a headlock take down.
DM: Against someone like Nero they’d be able to overpower him, but Augustus is incredibly strong himself, so this is probably the best way to deal with him.
DT: But Augustus showing some of his incredible strength now, trying to shift his weight to lift Max up! Not often we call Max the smaller man in an exchange, but Augustus getting Max back up to a vertical base… and Max standing his ground to stop the suplex attempt NO! Augustus with a clubbing shot to the ribs forces Max to release the hold, and there’s a hard clothesline to take him down!
DT: And Augustus with a kick to the face as Max tries to get up! Just like that the dynamic can shift, and there’s the tag to Nero.
DM: Let’s see if there’s any change of fortune for the smallest wrestler out there this time round.
DT: Augustus with another boot to the head to keep Max down, and there’s a somersault legdrop from the outside by Nero!
Easy kickout by Max, as Nero with the quick tag back to Augustus.
DM: Smart move, let the big man dish out the punishment to the other big man.
DT: Augustus holding Max up, Nero sprinting to the ropes… running leg lariat takes Max down! Did you see the impact there?
DM: And Augustus with a choke in front of the referee, trying to wear Max down quickly, breaking the hold at three.
DT: Picks Max up, hard Irish whip into the corner, and a HUGE splash knocking the wind out of the big German! Pulling him out of the corner, big splash-slam!
Kickout again by Max.
DM: Either Augustus is a lot stronger than I thought, or something’s up, Max isn’t normally dominated this much.
MN: It’s because Blitz are losers, everyone knows that. I mean they couldn’t even try and take out the Chronic Collizion after either attack, so what good are they? Weak.
DT: I wouldn’t say Blitz are weak, but Augustus having his way in there with Max right now, picking him up… back breaker down!
DM: That had to hurt!
DT: And the tag back out, so far both teams have been trying to use quick tags, and Nero comes in with an elbow to the outstretched leg, right on the knee!
DM: I know I say this a lot but attacking the leg of a big man is the best way to go – if he can’t stand he can’t use his strength.
MN: Of course it’s smart, it’s Nero! He got a HUGE insurance pay-out by burning an entire city!
DM: Wrong Nero.
DT: Whatever his namesake did in the past, C. P. Nero is really working over the leg of Max, placing it on the bottom rope… and a HUGE hang-time in mid air there before crashing down against it!
MN: That’s the way! Future World Champs right there.
DT: Nero stomping on the back of the massive leg of Max, and… somersaults over the top to stretch the hamstring right out!
DM: That also bends the knee the wrong way. It’s very good how he’s just focusing on the one leg, it’ll make Max very easy pickings, might even get a submission.
DT: Nero applying a very simple leg lock now, keeping Max right away from the ropes and his own corner. Cutting the ring off and if he wants it’s not too far to move to get the tag, very smart strategy.
DM: And Jecht is still fuming on the outside, I don’t think he got everything out of his system earlier.
DT: He’s going to have a long wait unless Max can get out of this hold – trying to pull the hair of Nero but the ref stopping it. He’s in completely the wrong position to land a clubbing blow or I think that’d break him out of this. Nero releasing the hold on his own, still holding the leg, and there’s the tag to Augustus!
DM: Max is in serious trouble right now, as they make a wish with his legs!
MN: Ow… ow ow…
DT: And the big man going to town with hard stomps as the referee forces Nero out of the ring.
DM: I think maybe what happened earlier really is playing with Blitz, Max is nowhere near at his peak.
MN: No, it’s because the Proletariat are almost as good as the Chronic Collizion, and Blitz can’t compare to them. You’ve seen it time and again, CC have squashed Blitz, and that’s how it should be.
DT: I wouldn’t say that to Blitz in person, Mike, but Max really is in serious trouble here as Augustus picks him up, and slugs him with a HUGE right hand! Grabbing the leg, and a massive kick to the hamstring as Max is trying to keep his balance.
DM: He’s out of it, look how he’s trying to protect that leg.
DT: Augustus with another kick, Max in pain… ENZIGURI!!
DT: Max connecting with a kick to the head! That has to be the biggest enziguri in the history of professional wrestling! Max is trying to struggle over to Jecht
MN: That was impressive.
DT: And Augustus grabbing the leg again! I thought he was knocked senseless, but he had enough bearings to grab the leg. He’s trying to drag Max over to the corner… NO! Max springing up and connecting with a pushing kick which sends Augustus back into the corner! Nero tagging in, Max over, there’s the tag to Jecht!
DM: Here comes trouble.
DT: Nero rushing over but Jecht with a big boot! Augustus coming over, but he’s met with a hard clothesline. Nero back up quickly though, and a NICE dropkick to the face knocking the big man down!
MN: So much for Jecht.
DT: Augustus back up and over to help Nero, looks like a double team coming up – hard right by Augustus, double Irish whip into the corner! Augustus whips Nero in… JECHT CATCHES HIM! Augustus running across the try and help his partner who got caught mid-splash, but Jecht HURLS Nero into him… SPEAR!
DM: He’s still as dominant as ever. Maybe Dan pissed him off more than Max.
DT: He just took Augustus out of his boots, and he’s really laying into him with rights and lefts! Nero’s rolled to the outside, and Jecht is just ignoring the referee!
DM: And the ref is wisely keeping his distance.
DT: Jecht now picking Augustus up, picks him up… sidewalk slam! The cover
THNO! Nero in to break up the three count.
DT: Nero and Augustus trying to double team Jecht, picking him up BUT JECHT WITH A RIGHT HAND TO NERO! No! Augustus with the kneelift and thumb to the eye to slow the big man down. Irish whip far side, Jecht on the rebound… BIG double hip-toss!
MN: Well that’s that problem over. Just a matter of time now until Blitz bite it.
DT: Don’t count the former champs out just yet, Mike. Nero ducking to the outside to leave it up to Augustus, smart move letting the two big men go at it. Augustus picking Jecht up by the hair, and a hard chop across that massive chest! Lifting the big man up… HARD slam down into the corner! Looks like trouble!
DM: Whenever you get a man over three hundred pounds climbing the ropes it usually does mean trouble.
DT: Augustus sitting himself up on the top rope, cut-throat gesture… NO GO! Jecht gets his knees up as Augustus comes down with a splash!
DM: And the crowd are really coming alive! Neither team has really been at the top of their game, I think Dan’s announcement caught them both really off guard, but it’s still been a hard-hitting match all the same.
DT: Augustus clutching his ribs in there as Jecht is breathing heavy trying to get to his feet, Leonard’s calling him to get the tag, but Jecht shakes his head! Jecht with a hard facewash stomp on Augustus! Jecht with Augustus by the hair, he’s signalling something to the fans… he’s not going to?!?
MN: No way.
DM: He is.
DT: Jecht with Augustus… MILITARY PRESS! OVERHEAD MILITARY PRESS ON THE THREE HUNDRED THIRTY POUNDER!
MN: NO WAY!!
DT: AND HARD down to the canvas goes C. E. Augustus! Oh my god what a show of strength in there from Jecht! He lifted him up like he was a light-weight!
DM: And Augustus is either unconscious or stunned!
DT: Jecht off the ropes, drops the leg!
NO! Nero in to break the pin again!
DM: And Jecht has had enough! Grabbing Nero by the throat as Max is shouting at him from the outside, trying to loosen his knee again.
DT: The referee trying to get Jecht to release the choke… CHOKESLAM! Jecht with a HUGE chokeslam on Nero, as Leonard is trying to get him to calm down Jecht shouting back at his manager… and Augustus with the full nelson… SLAM!
THMAX IN TO BREAK THE PIN!
MN: FINALLY! FOUR WAY BABY!
DM: Bad Mike, no internet porn for you.
DT: Max with Augustus back on his feet, a hard right and a kneelift… neckbreaker takes him down! Jecht struggling back to his feet, I think he got winded on that one, as Nero is back up too! Nero charging in and taking Jecht by surprise with a forearm to the face, the referee has lost all control of this one!
DM: With these four I’m not surprised. It might have been an idea for Dan to change the match to a tornado no disqualification to let them blow off steam.
DT: Nero hammering away on Jecht in the corner as Max hits a HUGE back suplex on Augustus!
NO!! Augustus getting the shoulder up, and Nero coming to his partner’s aid after hearing the near-fall!
DM: There’s going to be a DQ if this keeps up.
DT: Nero raking the eyes of Max as Augustus pushes the German into the corner. Both men laying into him with boots… AND HERE’S JECHT! Jecht with a huge fist to the back of Augustus’ skull! Nero trying to hit Jecht, but Jecht catches the arm and just HURLS him over the top rope!
DM: If he ever gets a no-DQ match for the World Title and he’s this mad, I’m giving him the win!
DT: Jecht following Nero to the outside, as Max hammers Augustus with a right hand. Things look like they’re settling down now, as Augustus rocks back… Max with an Irish whip, Augustus under the clothesline, takes Max down! Augustus grabbing the leg SMALL PACKAGE
THRENO!! Augustus quickly back to his feet and takes Max down with a kick to the back of the leg as he tries to get up!
DM: That knee’s still bothering him.
DT: Augustus signalling for the end, scooping Max up… Great Leap Forward coming NO! Max sliding out the back door and takes the Marxist down with a Russian Leg Sweep!
MN: A German with a Russian on the American Germanist… OK.
DT: Max shaking the cobwebs as Nero gets sent FLYING into the barrier. Jecht charging in, CLOTHESLINE into the crowd! Max is calling to him, I think he wants to end it!
DM: Could we see Blitzkrieg?
DT: Jecht’s ignoring him! Jecht’s going after Nero, and Leonard is FURIOUS with him! Max trying to get his partner’s attention BUT AUGUSTUS FROM BEHIND!
DM: Stop saying that!
DT: Augustus with Max clutched, lifts him up… holding him for the supleK FOURTEEN!! K FOURTEEN! THAT SUPLEX INTO A PILEDRIVER IN THE CENTRE OF THE RING!!
DM: And Leonard’s still trying to get Jecht!
THREE!! THE PROLETARIAT HAVE DONE IT!!
TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen your winners, by pinfall… THE PROLETARIAT!!
DT: What a HUGE win for the Proletariat! Beating the former tag team champions cleanly in the ring!
MN: They should be champs now! They got screwed!
DM: I know, Mike, but Dan did what he did. I think that whole thing played on Blitz a lot, but take nothing away from Augustus as Jecht is coming running back to the ring! And the Proletariat will now get their shot at the Cameron Cruise Project.
DT: He let his temper get the better of him and it cost his team. Leonard checking on Max as Augustus leaves the ring, celebrating with Nero in the aisle! What a win for them.
DM: Jecht checking with Max now, it looks like Max is OK, a little groggy but he’s standing up – and he doesn’t look too fussed about Jecht not being there for the save!
DT: And Leonard Johnson now… asking for the mic? What’s this about?
DM: I don’t know… he doesn’t look too fussed about the loss either?
LJ: Well, never let it be said that Blitz aren’t professional. We came out here and still wrestled, DESPITE what would have put a lot of people off.
DT: Is he referring to Dan returning the titles to the Cameron Cruise Project?
LJ: Professional we are. But stupid, I most certainly… am… not.
DM: Where’s this going?
LJ: You see, we have been with this company since it first opened. The very first card, from the MCI Centre in Washington DC. Whilst people like Christian Sands, Maelstrom, Zero and others have come and gone, we’ve been constant. Whilst people like Lindsay Troy, Richard Farnswirth et al have come in, we’ve been here all along. And whilst people like Rocko Daymon, the Chronic Collizion, Beast have gone and come back, and gone and come back, we’ve been constant.
DT: Where is this going?
LJ: We’ve been the team to go to in times of crisis. In the singles ranks you’ve got Adam Benjamin and Karl Brown who’ve been here as long as we have, and that’s IT. Whenever we’ve been needed, we’ve been there.
Whenever Dan Ryan needed someone to make tag team wrestling look like something other than an embarrassment, we’ve been there.
When teams have cancelled bookings, or just decided not to show up, we’ve been there. We’ve represented this company in tournaments to show the WORLD that the best tag teams are those that compete in Empire Pro Wrestling.
And what do we get? After over three years, after holding the World Tag Team Titles for over a year and beating team after team after team, where do we find ourselves?
In the middle of a dick measuring contest between IrishRed and Dan Ryan.
MN: Why didn’t either of you “family-show” him?
DT: Quiet Mike, I don’t think he’s done!
DM: This isn’t going to sit well.
LJ: First, Joey Melton no-shows, so we’re given the belts by Beast, against our wishes. Then, Dan Ryan comes out, and gives the belts back to the no-showing Cameron Cruise Project, just to get one over on IrishRed? After we spent over a YEAR making those titles worth something, you treat them like crap?
You two honestly think this is about you? You two honestly think Empire Pro Wrestling is a TOY for you to PLAY WITH for your own personal amusement?
DT: The crowd are stunned… what’s going on? This isn’t in the plan.
LJ: Let me tell you two something. You and your little playmates, Beast, Anarky, and whoever else you feel like elevating because they’re your friends. I, the wrestlers in the back, the fans… NONE OF US care about your petty squabbles starting over in wherever. None of us care which of you is in charge, so long as the cheques don’t bounce and the in ring action if of the highest quality. Because this is a business, the wrestling business.
It certainly is NOT your own personal mastubatory festival.
So, until you two… children, grow up and get your act sorted out, until you’ve stopped playing politics and using other people as your puppets and scoring chips…
I’m exercising a right that I had included at the last contract negotiation, which states that either party may at any time terminate the agreement should either party damage the credibility of the other.
In other words… Max… Jecht… and myself…
DT: WOAHLY SH!
DM: NO WAY!!
MN: For being given the belts and having them taken back?!?! LOSERS!!