DM: It’s finally happened. Rocko has snapped. Sean Stevens has finally pushed him over the edge, and the man has succumbed to a deep schizophrenic rant-crazy madness!
DT: I’m not sure what to make of that, but I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of Rocko Daymon tonight. And considering everything that happened to him at Russian Roulette, I’m not sure WHAT he’s capable of doing…
MN: And what the hell was up with that flower shirt? GAWD… what an ugly shirt…
DT: You’re one to talk, Mike. You’ve got an entire WARDROBE of shirts just as ugly as that!
MN: Hey, HEY! They compliment my hair, and I’m a ******* PIMP in those clothes…
DT: Yeah, whatever… let’s move on to the next match. And speaking of the next match, we’ve learned that former superstar John Miller, who was scheduled to make his big return here tonight has REFUSED his booking!! Can you believe that?
DM: He’s not one to be put into situations to fight another man’s personal grudge. John Miller taking a stand and refusing to be part of Dan Ryan’s plot. That’s the John Miller I know.
MN: Whoopie!! Didn’t realize that bonehead was capable of making a decision for himself.
DT: Why do you even speak sometimes?
MN: What? Don’t make me get up and…
["Did my time" by Korn blares over the speakers as black hits the big screen. Stalker walks out slowly staring at the ring cracking his knuckles as he makes his way down the ramp. In his usual street attire he slides under the bottom rope and gets ready for his match.]
TF: This match is for one fall Introducing first…from Seattle, Washington and weighting in at two hundred twenty four pounds..Stalker!!!
MN: *Yawn* Should be a “GREAT” matchup!
DT: Just zip it…
Suddenly the lights in the arena fall to darkness as the crowd lets out a gasp of excitement.
MN: Someone tell Ryan to start paying the bills.
DM: Mike, Get your hand off my…
[The lights come back on and Cross stands behind Stalker in the ring.]
DT: Cross is in the ring and the crowd is going nuts. Stalker quickly spins around is caught with a boot the midsection and then a left right combination that sends him to the mat. Cross waits for Stalker to get to his feet and charges with a clothesline again putting Stalker on the mat. Cross drops an elbow to the sternum of Stalker.
DM: Stalker is on the offensive quickly tonight
MN: Someone needs to tell him to cheer up!
DT: Cross pulls Stalker up to his feet but Stalker pokes Cross in the eye.
MN: I think we found the fourth Stooge
DT: Stalker takes this opportunity to kick at Cross’s right knee and then to follow it up with a vicious chop block, causing Cross to stumble to the mat. Cross uses the ropes to get up and Stalker kicks out his knee from under him. Stalker locks on a step over toe hold, applying pressure to the knee of Cross.
DM: Smart move, Taking Cross’s legs out nullifies the big man.
MN: Thank you, Captain Obvious
DM: One of these days I’m..
MN: Sure you are.
DT: Stalker leans into the hold, applying more pressure. Cross reaches up suddenly and grabs Stalker rolling him over into a small package. One..Two..Kick out by a stunned Stalker. Stalker rolls out of the ring, collecting himself as Cross slowly gets up to a vertical base, not putting much pressure on his right knee.
DM: I’m betting Stalker is wishing he had John Miller down here helping him out.
MN: what a waste of a wish.
DM: What?
MN: Um..Nothing
DT: Stalker slowly makes his way up the ring steps and back into the ring. Both me circle each other, staring each other down. Stalker throws a hand up in the air as if challenging Cross to a test of strength. A smirk comes to Cross face as he interlocks his hand with Stalker and then does the same with the other. Both men struggle to get an advantage and suddenly the momentum starts going in Cross’s direction and Stalker kicks him in the midsection gaining the advantage.
MN: He just fell for the oldest trick in the book. *laughs*
DM: I’ll have to agree with you Mike on that one.
MN: Of course you have to agree with me. I’m always right.
DT: Cross drops to a knee an then lunges forward picking up Stalker in a modified fireman’s carry and drives him to mat. Both men lay motionless on the mat. Cross is the first to move and uses the ropes to get up and ascends to the top rope, he stands perched waiting for Stalker to get to his feet and comes off with a flying clothesline that connects. Cross rolls Stalker over and goes for the pin. One..Two..Stalker gets a foot on the bottom rope.
DM: So close
DT: Cross pulls up Stalker and whips him into the far ropes, but Stalker comes off with drop kick to Cross’s left knee. Cross falls to the mat griping his knee . Stalker again goes for the step over toe hold, but Cross is able to kick him off into the referee, the referee is down.
MN: Guess that’ll teach the ref to stand that close again.
DM: What are you talking about Mike, he was doing his job.
MN: And now he’s unconscious.
DT: Sometimes I wonder why I deal with you two.
DM: What is Stalker doing?
MN: He left the ring, Maybe he’s bored with the match?
DT: No he’s grabbed the time keepers chair and slides in the ring as Cross is slowing getting up to his feet.
DM: Remember what he did at Russian Roulette with that chair?
MN: No.
DT: Stalker stalks after Cross and cocks back the chair but doesn’t notice as Kin Hiroshi jumps over the security railing and slides into the ring. Kin yanks the chair out of Stalker’s hand and catches stalker with a thunderous chair shot as he turns around. Stalker crumbles to the mat. Kin tosses the steel chair on the mat and pulls up Stalker and DDT’s him on the chair. Kin rolls out of the ring and pulls the chair out with him.
DM: I guess that’s what Kin would call payback.
MN: Yeah, one of these days you’ll get yours.
DM: Did you say something, Neely?
MN: NO!
DT: Cross gets up and pulls up Stalker and hits the Golgotha just a the referee comes around. Cross goes for the cover and gets the one…two..three.
MN: Cross has defeated Stalker.
DM: Really? Thanks Sherlock
MN: I’m gonna…
[Dean shoots Neely a look]
MN: …uhh…get something to drink.
[Dean just shakes his head]
TF: Winner of the match….. CROSS!!!!!…
DT: Cross makes a triumph return to the ring. However one would wonder what the outcome would be if Kin Hiroshi wouldn’t have come down to intervene.
DM: Cross has left the ring and Stalker is starting to stir in the ring. Stalker has rolled over and grabs the bottom rope and looks out and sees Kin Hiroshi standing at the top of the ramp, waving back at Stalker. A look of pure hatred comes to Stalker’s face as Kin finally leaves the area.
MN: Wait a minute… a figure just emerged from BENEATH the RING! Who is that?!
DT: It’s CAITLYN DAYMON!!
DM: The b*tch is BACK! And what’s that in her hand?
DT: Is that…
…a TASER?!
[The audience reacts with jolting SURPRISE as Caitlyn slides into the ring. Stalker doesn’t see her coming as she drives the black rectangular object in her hand into the small of his back and jams down on the switch. Stalker JERKS VIOLENTLY and collapses at her feet!]
DT: OH MY GOD!! Caitlyn Daymon just ZAPPED Stalker with a taser! She should put a CRIPPLING amount of electrical voltage through the human body, and Stalker is just lying MOTIONLESS on the mat…
MN: You make it sound like it’s the secret eighth deadly sin, Dave. Every cop in America is practically doing this on a daily basis these days…
DT: Oh my God, she’s HITTING HIM WITH THE TASER again! Stalker is just flailing recklessly on the mat!
[Caitlyn kicks him once while he is down, and a booming voice rings through the confusion, cutting through the shock of the audience like a perfectly honed dagger slicing the soft underbelly.]
“WELL…”
“Well…”
“well…”
[The spotlight hits a section in the seats, and falls on ROCKO DAYMON standing in the aisle, still carrying that damn trash can, and still wearing that damn flower shirt. The crowd lets out an undecidedly mixed pop.]
Rocko: Jason Reeves… my old friend… how nice to see you again. So unfortunate we had to reacquaint ourselves under these circumstances.
[He begins to make his way down the steps toward the barricade.]
Rocko: But let me ask you something… did you REALLY think I’ve been ignoring you this entire time? Do you think I haven’t noticed you dropping my name on the mic at every given opportunity, trying to wake this sleeping giant? Did you really think I wouldn’t DO anything about it?
[He comes to the barricade and sets the garbage can on the other side before hopping it and beginning to circle the ring.]
Rocko: Seeing as how just about everybody here is in the dark right now… allow me to fill all of you in with a brief history lesson. Many years ago, Stalker and Rocko Daymon met in the ring back in a federation that nobody remembers, fighting for a title that nobody cares about anymore. In that Last Man Standing match… a young, bright-eyed Jason Reeves put up the fight of his life… and ultimately went DOWN for the ten count, and yours truly walked away the better man with that belt on his shoulder.
[He stops briefly and points to the commentary table.]
Rocko: Hey Mike, you done with that chili dog?
MN: Huh? Oh… yeah, I suppose.
Rocko: Let me get that out of your way…
[Rocko reaches over and tosses the half eaten chili dog into his waste receptacle and moves on the commentators look among each other, puzzled.]
Rocko: Nobody here remembers that match… except the two of us. It’s been seven years since then… and no longer do I carry any title on this shoulder. But for some reason, this single, forgotten match from so long ago has been resurrected and unwillingly dragged and exhibited to the public eye. For some reason, this one, tedious title match has delayed you, the fans, from receiving the TRUE World Heavyweight Champion you deserve!
DM: This guy still wants the title? Lord in Heaven, help us!
[Rocko sets the trash can onto the apron and enters, pulling his load over the ropes with him. He nods to Caitlyn.]
Rocko: Thank you for your help, my caramel-glazed Granny Smith apple. Wait for me in back.
[Caitlyn nods and exits the ring, going back up the ramp. Confidently, Rocko walks over to the fallen body of his enemy, dragging the trash can with him.]
Rocko: Poor, poor Jason… I had really hoped you would have licked your wounds and moved on. I hoped you wouldn’t become absolutely obsessed over the matter and come back to haunt me years later. For your sake and for my own, because… well, let’s just say I have this nasty habit of getting screwed over by the most untalented of people at the most inappropriate of times.
[He shakes his head sadly.]
Rocko: But I suppose I put my trust in the wrong person. I trusted a complete *failure* like you to be exactly what you are not, and now I’m paying for that mistake seven years later. And now that you’ve willingly put yourself in between me and the title, you’ve gone and earned yourself an ass-kicking so big, you’ll wish you would have stayed under the bridge in Seattle eating out of dumpsters and living in your own filth.
[He points down to Stalker, though Stalker is in too much agony to truly see anything at the moment.]
Rocko: But lucky for you, Jason… I’m not gonna give it to you… yet. Reason is that I know it’s exactly what you want. You came back to get your revenge… to beat me one on one in that big, climactic, end-all be-all slobber-knocker for the strap. You see, I know you’ve got this wet dream to ride on the coattails of guys like me and Kin Hiroshi to get yourself into the title picture… and that’s only gonna happen over my dead body. But who knows… maybe you’ll get your wish. But it’s not going to be tonight, Stalker, and it’s not going to be any time soon… not until that World Title is around my waist.
[He turns toward the audience.]
Rocko: Tonight, I came here to clean up all the garbage that I find around here in Empire Pro for the LAST TIME. It’s something I’ve done practically my entire career… being nothing but a man that takes out losers like THIS PIECE OF SH*T IN THE RING so certain other lazy c*cksuckers can sneak on by without having the balls to BEAT ME LIKE A MAN!!
I’ve been busting my ASS for you people over the greater part of the last decade. At Russian Roulette, I bled a F*CKING PINT OF BLOOD, and what did I get? I got SCREWED by this pr*ck because he can’t get over the fact that he lost a match! I got my ass kicked backstage when I was coming back, sore, beaten, and exhausted, and watched my WIFE become the victim of a sexual assault!
And I’m done with it. As of right now, I’m tired of f*cking around…
[He picks up the garbage can and approaches the body of Stalker.]
Rocko: I leave it all to you, Jason. And I leave YOU behind.
[He overturns the trash can and DUMPS ITS CONTENTS over Stalker’s incapacitated body! Half of Stalker is suddenly buried beneath a pile of crinkled paper and plastic and numerous repugnant things. The audience RETCHES in unison!]
DT: Oh my, what an INSULT to Stalker! He just dumped that ENTIRE TRASH CAN over him! Do you guys remember what was IN that thing?!
DM: I don’t even want to think about it. Just being this close to that garbage in the ring makes me want to vomit…
MN: Man, I can smell it from here! …is that Chinese food?!
DM: I was talking about Rocko and Stalker, but… eh, nevermind.
[Rocko picks up the mic again, looking rather pleased with his action.]
Rocko: You look right at home, Jason. Now you can deal with the same kind of sh*t I’ve put up with for the past decade. In the meantime, I’m moving on to more important things. You might have chosen the number one contender, but I’ll be DAMNED if I don’t go into Black Dawn with a shot at that title!
And I will NOT let anyone get in my way!
[Violently, Rocko THROWS the steel trash can onto Stalker’s face, causing the hurt man to WINCE violently. “Death Is This Communion” hits the PA and Rocko exits the ring to an extremely undecided reaction.]
DT: Rocko Daymon has just RETALIATED against Stalker for his interference at Russian Roulette! And he did it in the most vicious, demeaning way I can possibly imagine!
DM: He’s bonkers. Somebody had just better put him out of his misery.
MN: The MAN isn’t crazy… he’s just really, REALLY pissed off. And if what happened to him happened to you at the Pay Per View, I think you’d feel the same way. Granted, I wouldn’t expect you to since it’s widely known you have a tiny johnson…
DM: I could COCKSLAP you from here if I wanted to, Neely!
DT: We now know how Rocko Daymon intends to deal with his old foe, Stalker, and now we know what links these two men together… a title match from long ago. But now Daymon—ugly flower shirt and all—has opted to leave this distraction behind and continue his journey to earn a shot at the World Title… and opportunity that’s slipped through his fingers time and time again! But is he TRULY putting his foot down this time?
DM: The man got beat at Russian Roulette. Sounds like he should listen to his own advice on “getting over” things.
DT: Considering Dan Ryan’s announcement tonight on the number one contender, I have a feeling that the World Title picture is going to be getting particularly interesting over the course of time leading up to Black Dawn. But we’ve got more action on the way, so stay tuned fans!