[FADEIN: The curtain where Copycat comes out, drawing boos from the crowd, his EPW World Tag Team Title belt across his waist, over his red trunks. Red knee pads and boots complete his outfit as he walks to the ring, a smirk plastered on his face. As “My Way” by Butch Walker plays.]
TF: The following contest is set for one fall, making his way to the ring from Kalamazoo, Michigan, weighing in at 280 pounds…One half of the EPW World Tag Team Champions…Representing Anthology…COPY!!!! CAT!!!!
DT: Fans we’ve gotten some late breaking news that High Flyer has been caught in that whole mess over in Europe with the flight restrictions and all that and he’s not in the building tonight, so this match is a one on one affair for Copycat against Anarky.
MN: Oh man, you know the struggles Anarky has with Copycat, no wonder Copycat’s got such a big grin on his face, it’s like having your favorite meal waiting for you at dinner.
DM: These two men have had a long history and another chapter of that history will be written tonight.
[MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie. Anarky comes out, skull face paint, black torn up shirt with the Anarchy symbol on the back, ripped jeans. He looks almost indifferent as he walks to the ring, the crowd mixed in its reaction to him.]
TF: And his opponent, from Hartford, Connecticut…Weighing in at 231 pounds…Representing HOPE…AN! RRR!! KEY!!!
DT: Anarky’s expression far different from that of Copycat’s as he makes his way into the ring…
MN: Well there’s clearly going to be a difference between a man knowing he’s heading to the chair and a guy who’s going to cash a winning powerball ticket. Come on Thomas, put down the Baconator and think for once!
[Bell rings]
DT: Thanks for your brilliant insights Neely. Anarky with a bull rush and Copycat quickly ducks between the ropes!
DM: Copycat knows Anarky’s going to go at him with a full on onslaught so he’s going to make him wait, try to frustrate Anarky, who we’ve seen lose his cool in the past.
MN: Lose his cool?! The man wouldn’t know cool if he was trapped in a blizzard. He’s a maniac!
DT: Anarky being kept away from Copycat by the ref…Now Cat gets back out of the ropes and they lock up…Copycat with a side headlock…Anarky throwing elbows into the back of Copycat, trying to soften him up…Anarky lifts Copycat for a back suplex…COPYCAT SHIFTS HIS WEIGHT AND LANDS ON ANARKY! A PIN!
ONE!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Copycat pops to his feet, a big smile on his face, letting Anarky know how close that was to being the finish.
MN: He’s so far inside Anarky’s head…Anarky’s got nothing for Copycat!
DT: Anarky charges Copycat and lands a series of right hands…Anarky whips Copycat to the ropes…COPYCAT BOWLS HIM OVER WITH A SHOULDER BLOCK!
DM: Anarky might be a tough man, but he is giving up about fifty pounds in that ring, he’s not going to win the power game against Copycat.
MN: And that’s all he has, stupid rage based aggression, Copycat is the perfect opponent against Anarky, he’s too strong for Anarky’s violence and he’s far too smart to be lured into a street fight.
DT: Anarky gets back to his feet…Copycat goading him…They trade punches and now Copycat bullies Anarky into the corner…Copycat sends Anarky into the opposite corner…Anarky staggers out into a kick to the gut…gutwrench suplex! Copycat Covers!
ONE!!
TWO!!
NO!!
DT: Anarky fights out of another pin, Copycat gets an arm bar and keeps Anarky down on the mat.
MN: This is just like a little kid pulling the wings off a fly…I almost wish you two were on the Anthology bandwagon so you could enjoy this the way I’m enjoying it…
DM: This match isn’t over by a long shot Neely, I wouldn’t be so cocky betting against someone like Anarky.
MN: Well I am…So tough!
DT: Anarky fights to his feet, a couple of elbows break him free of the chinlock…Anarky off the ropes…KIT KAT KICK BY COPYCAT DECKS ANARKY! Copycat now off the ropes…STRAY CAT STRUT…AND HE DROPS THE ELBOW!! THE COVER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR—NO! NO!
DT: Copycat with a look of annoyance at the ref as he pulls Anarky back to his feet…Anarky sent to the corner again…COPYCAT CHARGES IN WITH A KNEE…ANARKY MOVES! Copycat limping on that leg…Anarky kicking away at it! Anarky drops Copycat to the ground and now he’s stomping away repeatedly on that knee!
DM: This is the break Anarky needed to get back into this match!
DT: Anarky driving knee after knee into the leg of Copycat…Anarky drapes Copycat’s leg across the bottom rope…JUMP UP AND DRIVES HIS FOOT INTO THE KNEE! Copycat rolls to the floor to try to get away from Anarky!
MN: Dammit Cat, you’re playing into his hands! He lives to be on the floor!
DT: Anarky to the floor and he bounces Copycat’s head off the apron…Copycat…WHIPPED INTO THE RINGSTEPS!! His legs SMASHED into that steel! Anarky grabs Copycat and throws him back into the ring…Anarky grabs Copycat’s leg…WRAPS IT AROUND THE RING POST! AND AGAIN!!
DM: This is the kind of brutal, violent offense we’re used to seeing from Anarky, you give him any opening at all and he’ll beat you to a pulp.
DT: Anarky back into the ring…He backs Copycat into a corner, drives a series of shoulders into the ribs. Anarky with a headlock…RUNNING START…BULLDOGS COPYCAT INTO THE MAT!
MN: But he doesn’t go for a pin, this idiot doesn’t get the point of this sport, it’s to win matches, he just wants to impress all the vampires and sadists out there by seeing how much blood and screaming he can cause, but that isn’t what pads the bank account, it’s wins! It’s why Copycat’s a jet setter and he’s got a crappy bar in some rundown part of town.
DT: Oh you are just insufferable Neely. Anarky grabs that leg and gets a spinning toe hold…He jumps up…CRUSHING THAT KNEE UNDER HIS OWN!
DM: Anarky softening up that knee, you have to think he’ll be setting up a submission attempt in the near future.
MN: That would be for a thinking wrestler someone with a brain, this drooling lunatic will just keep hitting that leg till it falls off and then use it as a club to beat Copycat with it!
DT: Anarky grabs Copycat and sends him into the ropes….Copycat back…Ducks a flying clothesline! Anarky scrambles back to his feet…GETS BLASTED BY A CLOTHESLINE FROM COPYCAT! BOTH MEN DOWN!
MN: And the tide turns, when the only way you can win a match is by murder, you tend to lose a few you could have won if you had just tried to win, maybe one day Anarky will learn that lesson, I doubt it.
DT: Copycat slowly getting to his feet and shaking out that bad knee...Anarky getting to his feet…Copycat grabs him…GUTWRENCH SUPLEX! Copycat grabs at his bad knee, the quickly turns over towards Anarky and goes for the pin!
ONE!!
TWO!!
TH—NO!
DT: That second or two Copycat took dealing with his knee injury might have cost him the pin there. Copycat pulls Anarky up…Anarky kicks him in the bad leg! Copycat staggers…Anarky off the ropes…CHOPBLOCKS COPYCAT TO THE GROUND!
DM: Anarky is relentless in his brutal attack on Copycat’s knee, he’s landed just about every move I can think of that one can hit a knee with.
MN: This man isn’t a wrestler, he’s a sadist…Why couldn’t you have gotten crippled when he hit you with that chair, then HOPE would never have gotten him re-instated and I wouldn’t have to deal with this crap!
DM: I’m sorry I can take a chairshot Neely, maybe we should see how you fair if Anarky were to hit you with one.
MN: I’m good thank you…And management cares about me, Anarky even looks at me cross eyed he’ll be flipping burgers for a living!
DT: Copycat pulls himself to his feet by the ropes...Anarky rushes him…COPYCAT BACKDROPS HIM TO THE FLOOR! Anarky sent flying! Anarky laid out on the floor as Copycat’s down in the ring.
DM: This has been a brutal match, these two always go tooth and nail, and tonight is no exception.
MN: Well the nails need to be going into the coffin of Anarky, I want this finished!
DT: Anarky slowly getting to his feet on the floor, back onto the apron…Copycat grabs him and hooks him…Suplex back into the ring! No! Anarky lands on his feet behind Copycat! Anarky crumples to the ground he’s clutching his right ankle…I’d hate to speculate about what happened…
MN: I won’t! He tore his Achilles tendon! Tough break Anarky, enjoy being retired!
DT: The ref hovering over Anarky who’s in agony…Copycat pushes the ref aside…ANARKY WITH AN INSIDE CRADLE!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THREE!!
[Bell rings! MUSIC UP: “More Human Than Human” by White Zombie as Anarky rolls out of the ring to the floor as Copycat pops to his feet, livid and screaming at the ref.]
TF: Here is your winner…ANNNNNN! RRRR!! KEY!!!!!
MN: Oh of all the low down, school yard stunts…
DT: Anarky just caught Copycat sleeping and picked up the victory…He just outsmarted the smartest player in the game!
MN: No he didn’t! That was bush-league! And it was a fast count to boot!
DT: Well no matter how you want to spin this Anarky’s upstaged his longtime foe here tonight and gotten himself a victory…
[Copycat, in the ring, fuming as Anarky slips out with a [painted on] toothy grin as he backs his way up the ramp.]
DM: And Copycat is LIVID!
MN: He has every right to be! Of all the lowdown…
DT: Well, regardless it goes down as a win for Anarky. We’ll be right back!