GHEORGHE: “We are just seconds away from what should be an incredible match as HAL and Mr. Entertainment battle it out..”
JIVE: “It’s a done deal already .. because there’s no way Mr. Entertainment can lose the World Heavyweight Actually Defended, Actually Held TV Championship!”
JULIUS: “WHADAHTT you say?”
GHEORGHE: “Oh for God Sakes, guys .. for my own sanity, let’s just continue to call it the Television Championship for tonight … please?”
JIVE: “Well…”
JULIUS: “Do we have to?”
GHEORGHE: “Yes. Or else I’ll make you guys sit next to each other on the flight back to the Caribbean…”
JIVE / JULIUS: “Ok! Ok!”
GHEORGHE: “The … Television Championship match is up next .. so let’s not waste any time and go straight to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions!”
[CUTTO: CARL JACOBS in the ring, the crowd voicing they are ready for more action The lineup for the match comes on screen.]
CROWD: "LET'S GO CARL! [*clap* *clap* *clapclapclap*] LET'S GO CARL!"
[SFX: Bell rings.]
JACOBS: "The following match is scheduled for ONE fall ... and is for the NEW ERA OF WRESTLING TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the NUMBER ONE CONTENDER to the TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!"
[CUTTO: a PANNING shot of the crowd, who stand in anticipation. CUEUP: "It's All About the Pentiums" by Weird Al Yankovic.]
JACOBS: “From Redwood, Washington ... he stands 6'3" and weighs in at 255 pounds! He is the 2006 Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler! This is HAROLD A. LUMBOURGH ... HAL!"
[The crowd gives a MIXED reaction as HAL walks out onto the ramp, a laptop strapped to his body.]
GHEORGHE: "And there is the man Mister Entertainment will need to take down tonight. HAL, one of New ERA’s thriving and quickly emerging youthful competitors. After a pretty strong start as part of New ERA, capped off by his outstanding Dupree Cup performance, HAL has found the second run through to be a little rougher. But he's fought hard and has earned the chance to score a huge win tonight, against a man who has been quite successful in his own right."
[HAL walks down to the ramp, ignoring the fans as he types away at the laptop.]
JIVE: "Was that an introduction or a solicitation of HAL?"
GHEORGHE: "Knock it off."
JULIUS: "You thinking about taking up on the offer, Jive?"
JIVE: "Shut it, you!"
JULIUS: "Don't make me punk you out again."
JIVE: "What?!"
GHEORGHE: "Enough already. HAL has been a fierce competitor, and tonight he'll need every bit for what's awaiting him."
JIVE: "Please, HAL doesn't stand a chance tonight."
JULIUS: "How can you say that? Wait, stupid question. It's you."
[CUEUP: "That's Entertainment!" by The Jam.]
JIVE: "He doesn't stand a chance against the most ENTERTAINING man in NEW ERA!"
[The crowd JEERS with disapproval as Mister Entertainment walks out from backstage, the New ERA Television Championship strapped around his waist. He also has a mic in hand.]
JACOBS: "And from Ashland, Oregon! He stands 6'2" and weighs in at 234 pounds! He is--"
ME: "STOP! STOP! STOP!"
[Jacobs stops mid-line, looking puzzled, as Entertainment approaches the ring, dropping the mic off at the timekeeper's table.]
GHEORGHE: "Uh, fans ... I'm not really sure what's going on ..."
JIVE: "I'll tell you what, Jacobs is RUINING Mister Entertainment's entrance! He's just reading the lines carelessly!"
GHEORGHE: "Carl does a fine job introducing the wrestlers, and this was no exception."
JIVE: "Sure, sure ... a "fine" job is alright for the rest of those schlubs. But this should have been the most entertaining entrance of the night!"
[Entertainment enters the ring and hands some cards to Jacobs, apparently instructing him to read them before ascending a turnbuckle and taunting some fans at ringside.]
JACOBS: "Fans, I now present to you ... the most ENTERTAINING BEING you will ever know! He has entertained MILLIONS, and he may need to begin charging by the word when he speaks. He is the REIGNING NEW ERA OF WRESTLING ON TV CHAMPION ... MISTER ENTERTAINMENT!"
[ME raises his arms in acknowledgement, as the crowd continues to JEER! He gets off the turnbuckle and struts right past HAL, not giving him a second look. HAL starts at him but is stopped by the referee's warning. ME gets up on the opposite turnbuckle, unfastening the Television Championship and holding it up to the crowd, who show him no more favorable a reaction on their side.]
JULIUS: "Mister Entertainment hasn't even noticed his opponent is in the ring yet. Or, he hasn't shown signs of it. He may not realize what he's in for tonight."
JIVE: "It's just our ON TV Champion giving us some pre-match fun! There's no reason Mister Entertainment should rush the inevitable, anyway."
JULIUS: "Yeah, with you on his bandwagon, I don't think HAL can lose!"
JIVE: "Hey!"
GHEORGHE: "I would agree with Dean on this one. Mister Entertainment finally seems ready to meet HAL center ring, and referee Jack Markakis is going over the rules."
JIVE: "Look at Mister Entertainment, making sure HAL knows he's going to make sure this match steals the show, even if it kills him!"
JULIUS: "I don't think those are exactly his words ... but whatever he said HAL seems to have taken exception to."
GHEORGHE: "HAL having some words for the Television Champion, and now Entertainment getting in HALs face with the Television Title."
JULIUS: "One thing's for sure: these two personalities are polar opposites."
JIVE: " Yeah, it's like Phantom Republican and Jean Rabesque in their live Debate."
GHEORGHE: "Oh my! HAL just slapped Mister Entertainment, and grabbed the Television Title! HE TAKES THE TITLE AND WHIPS MISTER ENTERTAINMENT ACROSS THE BACK WITH IT!"
[SFX: Bell rings.]
JIVE: "That was completely ILLEGAL! Disqualify HAL!"
JULIUS: "Actually, the bell hadn't rung until after HAL made his move. As usual, his calculations worked in his favor. And successfully."
GHEORGHE: "Jack Markakis is admonishing HAL and takes the belt away from him, but I think he knows HAL got the better-- HAL with a cover! Markakis drops the belt in the corner and makes the count!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!”
JIVE: "Mister Entertainment won't go like that."
JULIUS: "Let me guess ... not entertaining enough?"
JIVE: "Exactly."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment is still clutching his back after the belt shot he took from HAL, but he kicked out and this match won't end as shockingly as it began. HAL picks up Entertainment, kicks him in the stomach ... CTRL + ALT + DELETE! NO! Entertainment wriggles out of HALs arms as he brought him up ... Entertainment gets him around the waist from behind ... could he be going for ... no! HAL elbows Entertainment off of him, sending the Television Champion rolling to the mat. I thought he might have been going for That's Entertainment! early on, that rolling bridging German Suplex. But not to be."
JULIUS: "Already we've seen these two trying to hit early and hard. They're both young, though. I don't see this ending early. This isn't Jive trying to--"
GHEORGHE: "I do NOT want to hear the end of that. HAL has stomped Mister Entertainment out of the ring, and follows him outside. He brings a knee into the abdomen of Entertainment, and hoists him onto a shoulder ... and HAL DROPS Entertainment right onto the guard rail!"
JULIUS: "I think the Television Champion may be about ready to hurl."
JIVE: "That wouldn't be so entertaining ..."
JULIUS: "Speak for yourself!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL picks up Mister Entertainment, and another knee to the stomach before heeding the call of Jack Markakis, sending the Champion back into the ring and following. HAL brings knees down into the stomach of Mister Entertainment, and the FORCE of those blows looks painful enough!"
JIVE: "He's trying to drain the show right out of this match. But you can't drive charisma out of the ON TV Champion!"
JULIUS: "Looks like HAL wants to put that to test."
GHEORGHE: "HAL picks up Entertainment and again lifts him onto a shoulder ... before SLAMMING the Champion, back first, into the corner. The Dupree Cup Co-MVW follows up with shoulder thrusts to the abdomen of Entertainment. It looks like HAL has a spot picked out to focus on."
JULIUS: "If HAL wears out the body of Entertainment, the Champ will slow down, and that won't help with his air game. Or, for that matter, rolling through on that finisher of his."
JIVE: "I'm telling you, you can't kill entertainment, or its personification ... Mister Entertainment."
GHEORGHE: "HAL certainly with an advantage right now, as he brings Mister Entertainment out of the corner and hooks him for ... Snap suplex! HAL with another cover ... ONE!
TWO!
Another KICKOUT from Mister Entertainment!"
JULIUS: "These two are similar in height and weight, but HAL showing he puts his strength into every move."
GHEORGHE: "HAL does put a lot of power behind each move, that's for sure. Now he has a sitting Surfboard on Mister Entertainment, planting a knee to the small of the Champion's back. Referee Markakis asking the Television Champion if he wants to quit, but Entertainment shakes him off quickly."
JIVE: "If he thinks that'll do in the ON TV Champion ... who, by the way, is currently the ON PPV Champion ... then he's kidding himself."
JULIUS: "There is something in a match called strategy. This isn't like your sexual failures, Jive ... just one move in the arsenal."
JIVE: "Do you WANT me to hurt you?"
JULIUS: “Hurt me? HA! I'd like to see you try."
GHEORGHE: "That'll have to wait, as Mister Entertainment has gotten to his knees, trying to bring his arms forward from that stretch. He's pulling forward, but in this test of strength HAL comes back and pulls at Entertainment's arms once more. I don't see that being the Champion's way out here ..."
JULIUS: "I'd agree there."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment asked again by Jack Markakis as HAL leans in to taunt Entertainment ... HEADBUTT from the Champion that connects! HAL leaned in a little too far and Entertainment rattled him! Mister Entertainment with a surge of energy, gets to his feet and forces HAL to one leg ... and HAL releases the hold! Entertainment off the ropes ... and HAL wraps him up in a Sleeper hold ... no! Entertainment breaks free and runs to the ropes ... he runs UP and flips OVER, landing BEHIND HAL and ... SLEEPER DROP! The Champion takes HAL to the mat!"
JULIUS: "Looks like HAL didn't have the Sleeper locked in, and Entertainment took advantage."
JIVE: "See? It didn't take long for the ON PPV Champ to turn the tables!"
JULIUS: "You know that doesn't work since ALL the Champions are on PPV!"
JIVE: "..."
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment and HAL are both to their feet, and they meet center ring for an exchange of blows! Mister Entertainment with a right hand! HAL with one of his own! Entertainment returns fire! But the challenger with a knee to the stomach that bends the Champion over. HAL with a forearm that staggers Entertainment back ... and another! HAL lifts Entertainment up and brings him into a corner, sitting him onto the top turnbuckle."
JULIUS: "Looks like the small momentum killer Mister Entertainment dealt HAL has quickly worn off ..."
JIVE: "But you can't kill entertainment ..."
JULIUS: "Watch and learn. HAL has it all planned out, of course."
GHEORGHE: "HAL up to the second turnbuckle, and another right hand ... Entertainment blocks and stuns HAL with a forearm! He brings HALs head down to a rising knee ... and another forearm to the face sends HAL crashing to the mat! Mister Entertainment stands on the top turnbuckle and ... SHOOTING ENTERTAINMENT! MY LORD WHAT A MOVE!"
JIVE: “HA! I TOLD YOU! YOU CAN'T KILL ENTERTAINMENT!"
JULIUS: "Damn."
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment with that AMAZING aerial maneuver, extending the Shooting Star Press an extra 180 degrees, hitting back-first on HAL!"
JULIUS: "Impressive, I'll give him that. But with the damage HALs dealt his torso, the Champion can't follow with a pin."
JIVE: "That move alone should end the match. HAL loses on lack of having a better move."
GHEORGHE: "HAL has earned his way to this match, and he's done it with sound wrestling. I don't see any problem with that. Mister Entertainment gets to HAL now, and makes a cover! ONE!
TW-- KICKOUT!”
JULIUS: "He didn't get there nearly in time ..."
GHEORGHE: "The Television Champion lays a stinging STOMP to the head of HAL before going to the corner he just flew from. And now Entertainment is climbing that turnbuckle again!"
JULIUS: "Not a wise decision ..."
JIVE: "Please! It's all about the ENTERTAINMENT ... and MISTER Entertainment is delivering!"
GHEORGHE: "This could be a clear momentum shifter if he can hit it ... but HAL is already on all fours as Mister Entertainment reaches the second turnbuckle. He's going to have to hurry here ... Entertainment sees HAL and makes it to the top, but HAL spots the Champion ... TOO LATE! Entertainment with a Missile Dropkick right to the head of HAL! A cover!
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!"
JIVE: "See, Mister Entertainment has everything under control."
JULIUS: "Don't count HAL out just yet."
GHEORGHE: "Well the Television Champion certainly has come to life in this match. He lifts HAL into a sitting position and ... KICKS HAL RIGHT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD! WHAT IMPACT! And another pin ...
ONE!
TWO!
THR-- NO! HAL gets a shoulder up!"
JIVE: "He made like Bechkam, and made HALs head look like a soccer ball!"
JULIUS: "I believe Beckham would call it a futbol."
JIVE: "Not in America."
JULIUS: "So? Beckham is British. *****."
JIVE: "Don't call me that!"
JULIUS: "Hey, this is America, right? Freedom of speech. *****."
JIVE: "You little ..."
GHEORGHE: "BACK to the match ... Mister Entertainment lifts HAL up and hits a pair of forearms to the face of HAL ... and now a CHOP ..."
CROWD: “WOO!”
GHEORGHE: "And another! [SFX: WOO!] HAL is against the ropes and the Television Champion lands a STIFF KICK to the thigh of HAL ... and then one to his LEFT ARM! HAL is reeling against the ropes, as those kicks are coming too fast! Entertainment pushes HAL further into the ropes before springing him off with a whip ... HAL rebounds and DUCKS under Entertainment as he goes for a clothesline ... both men off opposite ropes ... and ENTERTAINMENT WITH A FLYING FOREARM! HAL back down!"
JIVE: "Where are those brains getting you now?!"
JULIUS: "Jealous, are we?"
JIVE: "For what? An overabundance of acne and antisocial tendencies?"
JULIUS: "You're just thinking of YOUR boyhood again, there, not HAL."
JIVE: "Screw you!"
GHEORGHE: "Jive's adolescent struggles aside, Mister Entertainment has a head of steam, but now he's taunting HAL! A great match, and he has to go TAINTING it with his EGO ... and now he's getting up on the turnbuckle and yelling at some FANS ..."
JULIUS: "HAL doesn't waste time with what these people think."
JIVE: "No, he doesn't have time for that. He's too busy trying to pick his teeth up from that last forearm."
GHEORGHE: "HAL is slowly getting back up, but looks dazed, and Entertainment takes notice. Again he goes to the top rope ... HAL to his feet but he DOESN'T SEE where Mister Entertainment is, and looks to the OPPOSITE corner! ENTERTAINMENT TAKES OFF AND ... DIAMOND DUST! HE NAILS HAL PERFECTLY!"
JIVE: "HA!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment with another BIG move! He's clutching his lower back after landing, but rolls HAL over and makes the pin!
ONE!
TWO!
THREENO! NO! HAL GETS THE SHOULDER UP!"
JULIUS: "Whew!"
JIVE: "It's only a matter of time, and another stunning move, before this is over!"
GHEORGHE: "The challenger certainly seems weakened, especially after that Diamond Dust by the Champion. But Entertainment looks a little surprised after that kickout, as he questions the referee."
JULIUS: "He hasn't fully recovered from the damage dealt to him earlier. The longer this goes, the more his back will stiffen. HAL just needs an opening."
JIVE: "Even all HALs calculations can't kill the reign of entertainment!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL being stalked by the Television Champion now ... he's to one knee, but Entertainment goes for the HEAD with a KICK! HAL BLOCKS with an arm at the last second! I think that was the same arm that got hit earlier, though, because he's in some serious pain."
JIVE: "There's calculation for you. Even if he didn't hit the mark, he STILL hit the mark!"
JULIUS: "That just sounds stupid."
JIVE: "YOU sound stupid!"
JULIUS: "Oh, how clever. I think you just topped that last one."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment keeps on HAL, applying an armbar after that kick. HAL is struggling in that hold, and Jack Markakis is asking if he wants to quit ... and HAL says NO! Entertainment NAILS HALs arm with the point of his elbow, and HAL cries out in pain! Entertainment wrenches the armbar, but HAL REFUSES to give in!"
JULIUS: "HALs foot is near the ropes. He just needs to slide back a few feet ..."
GHEORGHE: "I don't know if he notices, and it may not matter as he MUSCLES his way up! Fighting through the pain, HAL gets to his knees and Entertainment releases the hold ... only to KICK the thigh of HAL, sending him back down ... then STOMPING THE ARM!"
JIVE: "Nobody said entertainment brought chivalry ..."
JULIUS: "You know that word? I may actually be surprised."
GHEORGHE: "Yeah, that makes two of us."
JIVE: "Shove it. Both of you."
JULIUS: "Ah, that's more like the Nick Jive I know."
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment now, waiting again for HAL to get to his feet. It looks like he has those kicks working for him tonight, and another ready for HAL. The Dupree Cup Co-MVW needs to find a break here ..."
JULIUS: "Yeah, before he finds one of his limbs broken. If his arm isn't already ..."
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment's lined up behind HAL as he gets to his feet. ENTERTAINMENT GOES FOR A SHINING WIZARD! HAL MOVES! Entertainment went one too many times in a row, and HAL had him scouted ... Now HAL grabs Entertainment and lands a HARD SHOT to the head! But Entertainment retaliates with a CHOP!"
CROWD: “WOO!”
GHEORGHE: "Right hand by HAL! Entertainment with a forearm! HAL comes right back ... now with another right hand! HAL is winning this exchange and HOISTS ENTERTAINMENT OFF HIS FEET AND DOWN TO THE MAT! BOTH MEN ARE FIRING AT EACH OTHER! HAL ON TOP! NOW ENTERTAINMENT! AND HAL SHOVES HIM OFF! Entertainment comes back at HAL as he gets up ... KICK by Enetertainment ... but HAL CATCHES his leg! Entertainment spun around and HAL FLIPS HIM OVER WITH A HUGE CLOTHESLINE BEFORE FALLING TO HIS KNEES! BOTH MEN ARE ON THE MAT!"
[SFX: Crowd POPS for the exchange!]
JULIUS: "HAL needs to refocus. He has a chance to take the title right here!"
JIVE: "No! You can't kill entertainment!"
JULIUS: "But you can purge it ... with a little CTRL + ALT + DEL!"
JIVE: "What the hell does that even mean?"
JULIUS: "What?! Don't tell me you've ... HA!"
JIVE: "What?!"
JULIUS: "Oh, that's too good to be true."
JIVE: "WHAT?!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL is back on his feet after a breather, and he brings Entertainment up to his feet. Entertainment breaks out, he was playing possum! Goes for a right hand! HAL DUCKS IT ... and lands another KNEE to the stomach of Entertainment, and DOUBLES OVER THE CHAMPION WITH A SECOND STRAIGHT KNEE! HAL setting Mister Entertainment up ... could this be it?! CTRL + ALT + DEL! NO! HALs ARMS COULDN'T FULLY SUPPORT ENTERTAINMENT AND HE SLIPS OFF THE SHOULDER ... BEHIND HAL ..."
JIVE: "Here it comes!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL GRABBED from behind! ENTERTAINMENT GOES FOR THE ROLL AND THE GERMAN ... NO! HAL WITH A HAND ON THE ROPE THAT STOPS ENTERTAINMENT! ELBOWS to Entertainment's ribs, and he loses his grip as HAL spins behind Entertainment ... full nelson by HAL ... but a MULE KICK BY MISTER ENTERTAINMENT! Jack Markakis didn't see it and HAL CRUMPLES into a corner and rolls out of the ring!"
JULIUS: "BULL****!"
JIVE: "HAHA! See what those brains got HAL? Damaged parts!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment caught a HUGE break there, and he quickly goes outside the ring ... he's waiting on HAL to get up but ... NO! NOT THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT ON THE OUTSIDE!"
JULIUS: "HOLD UP! HALs not standing empty-handed! HE'S GOT THE TELEVISION TITLE!"
JIVE: "REFEREE! LOOK!"
GHEORGHE: "It must have dropped out there when Jack Markakis got rid of it at the start of the match! ENTERTAINMENT goes for the rear waistlock ... BUT HAL TURNS AND BLASTS HIM WITH THE TELEVISION TITLE!"
JULIUS: "Paybacks a *****!"
[SFX: Bell rings.]
JULIUS: "What the hell?!"
GHEORGHE: "I think ... I think referee Markakis saw what HAL did! Or did he see the low blow after all? Has HAL or Entertainment been disqualified?"
[Jack Markakis calls over Carl Jacobs and they convene. Jacobs finally nods and takes up his mic.]
JACOBS: "Ladies and gentleman ... I have been told this match has been ended as a result of DISQUALIFICATION!"
[SFX: Crowd BOOS!]
GHEORGHE: "Jack Markakis certainly won't gain himself any new friends with that ruling ..."
JULIUS: "But who won?!"
JACOBS: "Therefore, the WINNER of the match ... as a result of DISQUALIFICATION ... and STILLLLLL NEW ERA TELEVISION CHAMPION ... MISTER … ENTERTAINMENT!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment, with that LOW BLOW, sent HAL down to his knees, and out of the ring to his downfall, in the form of the Television Title!"
JULIUS: "The hell he did, Gheorghe! HAL was looking to get back for that low blow, an eye for an eye! That's straight up BULL****!"
JIVE: "I think the referee called things right down the middle. He called it as he saw it. And ENTERTAINMENT CONTINUES TO RULE!"
JULIUS: "He didn't call the low blow!"
JIVE: "He called it like he saw it! And he didn't call the shot with the title HAL gave at the start of the match, either! So HA!"
JULIUS: "You stupid *****! That was before the match even started!
JIVE: "Yeah but ... SO WHAT?! MISTER ENTERTAINMENT RETAINS!"
JULIUS: "You won't be seeing him after the next break. I'm gonna kill him."
GHEORGHE: "Hold on, this doesn't look like it's over yet! HAL was arguing with the referee, but as Mister Entertainment got up HAL attacked him! Both men are brawling with each other up the ramp! Mister Entertainment is bleeding from the head ... but manages a THUMB to the EYE of HAL, and he takes off up the ramp! But HAL shakes it off and is in HOT PURSUIT!"
[CUTTO: Backstage. Mister Entertainment staggers down a hallway, with HAL coming close behind, a steel chair in hand. He THROWS the chair at Mister Entertainment and it barely misses its mark. ME turns a corner and HAL follows, until Entertainment ducks into a room. CUTTO: Inside the green room, where a few wrestlers are having some of the buffet feast set out for the show. We see JA sitting in the corner chowing down and talking to Chaos. On the other side of the room, MWG and Beau Michaels are sitting very close together, sharing a muffin. Everyone stops what they’re doing as they look at Mr. Entertainment panting. MWG and Michaels eye him up and down.]
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment enters the green room, and he's bleeding profusely from the head! He looks around for something ... TOO LATE! HAL BARGES IN AND BOWLS ENTERTAINMENT OVER WITH A SPEAR ... RIGHT ONTO THE BUFFET TABLE!"
[The doors on the opposite side of the green room open and in walks Lindsay Troy to a HUGE pop from the crowd. She takes one look at HAL and Mr. Entertainment brawling on the buffet table, shakes her head, and with a roll of the eyes, turns right back around and walks out.]
JULIUS: "PAY HIS ASS BACK!"
JIVE: "WHERE IS SECURITY! HE CAN'T ... CAN'T DO THIS TO THE ON TV CHAMPION! THE MOST ENTERTAINING--"
JULIUS: "SHUT UP!"
[Jive goes silent.]
GHEORGHE: "HAL is giving Mister Entertainment the FULL COURSE treatment! Mashed potatoes to the face! CHICKEN BONE to the head! And now HAL ... he's got a bottle of TABASCO SAUCE! NO! HE'S POURING THAT HOT SAUCE ONTO THE CUT ON THE HEAD OF THE TELEVISION CHAMPION!"
JIVE: "NOO! This is NOT entertainment!"
JULIUS: "Speak for yourself!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment SCREAMS out in pain! And HAL SMASHES the sauce bottle over Entertainment's head! But in desperation, Entertainment manages to nail HAL with a can of WHIP CREAM! Entertainment wipes his bloody, food covered face with his hand and picks up a tray of LOBSTERS ..."
JULIUS: "What a waste! Those are expensive!"
GHEORGHE: "HE SMASHES THE TRAY OF LOBSTERS ONTO HALs HEAD! Mister Entertainment turns and looks around, and grabs a lobster shell cracker from a tray as HAL gets back up! Entertainment ... he just squeezed that cracked onto HALs nose! HAL WRITHES IN PAIN ... BUT DIVES INTO MISTER ENTERTAINMENT AND THE CHAMPION LOSES HIS GRIP ON THE CRACKER! THESE TWO CONTINUE TO BRAWL OVER THE TABLE AND ONTO THE FLOOR!"
JIVE: "SECURITY!"
GHEORGHE: "Here they come!"
[Event Staff and Security finally stream into the green room, breaking apart HAL and ME.]
GHEORGHE: "It looks like these two are finally being separated. But what a match from these two!"
JULIUS: "I would not be surprised to see them tangle again, sooner rather than later, Gheorghe. This certainly doesn't look like it's over."
JIVE: "But for now ... ENTERTAINMENT REIGNS!"
[The doors fly open and New ERA President Marcus LaRoque storms into the room as HAL and Mr. Entertainment are being held back by their respective security people. LaRoque walks right in between them, his face reddened.]
JULIUS: “There’s our trusty leader … and he doesn’t look happy!”
JIVE: “When is he ever happy?”
LaROQUE: “Are you two insane?! Coming back here and making a mess of everything?!”
[They look at him and continue to try to get out of the security’s holds.]
GHEORGHE: “LaRoque obviously mad at the two for taking this to the back…”
LaROQUE: “What a great way to work together … our first joint pay per view and you guys are acting like children!”
JIVE: “Lay the verbal beat down!”
LaROQUE: “You guys want to go at it in the back? You want to make fools of yourselves? FINE. Have fun .. because at BANNED in the US .. you guys can battle all over the cruise ship!”
[SFX: HUGE FAN POP!]
GHEORGHE: “ALL OVER THE CRUISE SHIP?!”
[Entertainment and HAL look at each other, still scowling..]
LaROQUE: “And Entertainment… if you think that you’re silly stipulation is going to save that championship for you .. YOU ARE WRONG. I don’t care if you think that HAL has to win 51% of the electoral vote in the next election to become the WHADAF*CK champion … if he pins you at BANNED in the US .. you can kiss your championship goodbye!”
[SFX: CROWD EXPLODES!]
LaROQUE: “Now get the hell out of here and stop this nonsense!”
[The security guards drag the two out separate doors. CUTTO: Back to ringside.]
JULIUS: “Jesus .. what crawled up his ass?”
GHEORGHE: “Who cares? It looks like we’re going to have a Television Championship rematch at BANNED in the US … and the falls will count anywhere on the Cruise Ship!”
JIVE: “You mean the WHADAHTT Championship…”
GHEORGHE: "Oh shut up with that! We still got more thrilling action from WrestleSTOCK ‘07 to come, fans! So let’s shoot you over to our EPW counterparts!"