GHEORGHE: "Well it's finally time for the Television Title ...."
JIVE: "Noo! The WHADAHTT!!"
GHEORGHE: "... Championship match. That just sounds ridiculous."
JULIUS: "You aren't paid to give opinions, Tom boy. That's my job. Just stick to the facts."
GHEORGHE: "It's no fact that the ... WHADAHHT Championship is officially sanctioned."
JIVE: "How dare you say that! After all the effort Mister Entertainment has put into molding the Championship into something ON TV."
JULIUS: "Not to mention all the legal fees."
GHEORGHE: "I'm not disputing what Mister Entertainment has done for the Television Championship. He's been successful defending the title against any of the opponents Marcus LaRoque has chosen through the random drawings over the past few months."
JIVE: "Including the World Heavyweight Champion!"
JULIUS: "Wait, which one again?"
JIVE: "Er, um ... actually, both of them!"
GHEORGHE: "That's right, Mister Entertainment has scored victories against both Jonathan Marx and Rocko Daymon. Tonight, however, Marcus LaRoque ordered him to have a rematch with the man he faced at WrestleSTOCK, HAL!"
JULIUS: "Faced and defeated."
JIVE: "And can I just say how UNFAIR it is for Mister Entertainment, the MOST ENTERTAINING Champion New ERA has ever seen, to be set up for failure tonight."
GHEORGHE: "Have your doubts he can come back and defeat HAL the second time around?"
JIVE: "No! Of course not! But Marcus LaRoque is clearly setting Mister Entertainment up to fail ... in providing the top grade entertainment in a match he just had! He just went through a match with HAL, and shouldn't have to repeat the performance. It may very well pull down the buyrates for the entire show!"
GHEORGHE: "If anything, I think President LaRoque felt they still had unfinished business, and HAL deserved another chance. You know he only has the best interests of New ERA in mind, Nick. And he did make this a Falls Count Anywhere match, after seeing that these two will fight each other REGARDLESS of the location."
JIVE: "I say he's just trying to show up Mister Entertainment's show-stealing ability."
JULIUS: "What's wrong, Jive? Don't think your boy can beat an opponent twice in a row?"
JIVE: "You shut it! Mister Entertainment's lawyer would agree with me."
GHEORGHE: "Are you predicting a successful defense for Mister Entertainment then, Dean?"
JULIUS: "Here's the real deal, Gheorghe. Mister Entertainment has been a fighting Champion, and if he wins tonight, in my eyes he'll have earned the right to be in the discussion of Best New ERA Television Champion. But HAL is a hoss, and not a dumb one. I don't know if Mister Entertainment can take him twice in a row."
GHEORGHE: "So you and Nick are both going with HAL, interesting ...."
(Jive, who was taking a swig of his Poland Springs bottle, immediately srays it all over himself.)
JIVE: "SAY WHAT?!"
JULIUS: "Yes, I believe we're both going with HAL here."
JIVE: "Have you both gone CRAZY?!"
JULIUS: "You never chose, so I did for you."
JIVE: "Don't joke around like that! I could get in trouble with the Champ ..."
JULIUS: "What, like get kicked out of the fan club?"
JIVE: "...."
JULIUS: "HAHAHA! You never cease to be pathetic."
JIVE: "Shut it!"
GHEORGHE: "We're just having a little fun, Nick. But it looks like everything is all set, and we're going to have ourselves a return match for the Television Championship."
JIVE: "And the WHADAHTT!"
JULIUS: "Really, it may just come down to that Falls Count Anywhere stipulation. We'll see who can take advantage of it."
GHEORGHE: "Carl Jacobs is ready with the official introductions!"
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring. The logo for the Television Championship appears on the big screen, followed by a "stamp" over it reading "WHADAHTT.")
JACOBS: "The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL ... and is for the New ERA of Wrestling TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP!"
(Crowd POPS!)
(CUEUP: "It's All About the Pentiums" by Weird Al Yankovic. HAL steps onto the deck, laptop strapped to him as he types away, continuing as he walks towards the ring and ignores the mix of CHEERS and BOOS from the crowd.)
JACOBS: "Introducing first, the challenger! He weighed in at 255 pounds and hails from Redwood, Washington! He is a Dupree Cup Award Winner ... this is ... HAL!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL is certainly a dangerous opponent, with his physical size and strength that are only surpassed by his quick thinking and intellect. Those qualities helped him become New ERA’s Most Valuable Wrestler in the 2006 Dupree Cup, and share the overall MVW award for the tournament."
JIVE: "Tonight he's going to have all that intellect mashed against this cruise ship! HAHA!"
JULIUS: "You clearly didn't hit the bottle hard enough before the show. That was ... maybe ... mildly witty."
JIVE: "I don't see you making clever comments ...."
JULIUS: "I say INTELLIGENT things, remember? YOU get paid to be the comedian! Though I still haven't figured out why."
JIVE: "It's just beyond you, over your head. You wouldn't understand."
JULIUS: "HA! Now that ... THAT is funny!"
(CUEUP: "That's Entertainment" by The Jam. Mister Entertainment steps onto the deck, immediately receiving a chorus of BOOS! He holds both the Television Championship and WHADAHTT, one over each shoulder, approaching the ring. Before entering, he tells the referee and HAL to get out of the ring. They do, and ME enters and ascends a turnbuckle, raising the title to more BOOS!)
GHEORGHE: "Apparently the Champion wants to enter an empty ring tonight."
JULIUS: "He might not have forgotten HAL nearly ending their WrestleSTOCK match just after it began, when Mister Entertainment practically ignored him while entering the ring, and then mouthing off to HAL and getting a body shot with his own title."
JIVE: "That can't be it. It must be that HAL tarnishes the very image Mister Entertainment casts when making his entrance. Just look at the World Heavyweight Actually Defended Actually Held Television Title! It's clear HAL he has no right being in the same ring with such a title. It fits Mister Entertainment like nobody else."
JULIUS: "Yeah, since he created it."
JIVE: "I thought you were supposed to make intelligent comments. That was completely irrelevant."
JULIUS: "Yeah? How about this: you're pissy because you got no tail last night."
JIVE: "...."
GHEORGHE: "HAL is trying to enter the ring, but it seems that Mister Entertainment isn't ready yet, and tells the referee to have HAL stay back."
JULIUS: "Just like the ladies told Nick last night."
JIVE: "...."
JULIUS: "Or the night before."
JIVE: "Shut it!"
JULIUS: "In fact, I bet this entire time in the Caribbean you..."
JIVE: "OH HEY TOM LOOK THE MATCH IS STARTING!"
(HAL looks fed up with waiting, and slides in behind Mister Entertainment, who is jaw-jacking with various ringside fans.)
GHEORGHE: "Yes, HAL has reentered the ring ... and immediately ATTACKS Mister Entertainment!"
(The referee enters and motions to the timekeeper.)
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: "See what happens when you let that goon in the ring with greatness! He can't contain his jealousy!"
JULIUS: "Mister Entertainment was certainly taking his sweet time. Stalling or playing mind games, but that's over with now."
GHEORGHE: "Indeed, HAL had enough waiting, and now this WHADAHTT match is underway! Mister Entertainment lost that title belt as he was hit, and referee Jack Markakis picks it up and turns his back to bring it to the timekeeper as HAL backs up from Mister Entertainment ... but Entertainment still has hold of the Television Championship belt! HAL charges ... ENTERTAINMENT IS GOING TO HIT HIM WITH THE TITLE!"
JULIUS: "This is gonna be a disqualification!"
JIVE: "Not with the referee's back turned!"
GHEORGHE: "No! HAL ducks under the attack and turns ... CONNECTING with a right hand to the Television Champion and KNOCKING the belt out of his grasp! Jack Markakis turns back and sees the SECOND title on the mat ... and now picks that one up and hands it out of the ring, as HAL gains an advantage in an early exchange of blows!"
JULIUS: "Mister Entertainment had a chance to pull a fast one in the Caribbean. Now he might be stuck in a "Thrilla in Manila" type situation."
GHEORGHE: "HAL with an arm wringer on the Champion ... who REVERSES it, but HAL comes back with a reversal of his own and FLIPS Mister Entertainment to the mat. The Champion is up quickly and LOCKS ARMS with HAL."
JULIUS: "He seems to be a bit impulsive early on, wanting to best HAL at his own game."
JIVE: "He's just spicing up the game. He can match HAL in every way if he wants, he's the Champ!"
GHEORGHE: "It seems HAL is getting the better of this strength battle ... and he switches positions and hip tosses the Television Champion ... RIGHT THROUGH THE ROPES AND TO THE SHIP DECK!"
JULIUS: "Not exactly "besting" HAL there ..."
JIVE: "He's just toying with HAL, just wait and see!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment back up, and in the ring quickly ... but HAL knocks him back to the apron! Now the challenger runs against the opposite ropes and charges at the Champion ... and receives a SHOULDER to the stomach, halting his forward motion. The Television Champion SPRINGS OFF the top rope with a beautiful looking LEG DROP across the neck of HAL! The challenger goes down but immediately rises back up ... only to be knocked down by a picture-perfect SPRINGBOARD DROPKICK, courtesy of Mister Entertainment!"
JIVE: "Here we go!"
GHEORGHE: "Entertainment with an early pin attempt!"
"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"KICKOUT by HAL!"
JULIUS: "Mister Entertainment showing just how quickly he can turn things around."
GHEORGHE: "Right you are, Dean. The WHADAHTT and ON TV Champion seems to be heating up in this Caribbean title match as he wait for HAL to get up to his feet. HAL does, and Mister Entertainment with a sidekick ... no, HAL catches his leg! ... Mister Entertainment goes for an enziguri but WHIFFS! HAL loses his grip on Entertainment's leg, allowing the Champion to roll back into a crouch ... he immediately goes off the ropes ... Flying Fore ..."
CROWD: “OHH!”
GHEORGHE: "MY LORD! Mister Enterainment took to the air ... and got his HEAD SNAPPED BACK BY A VICIOUS CLOTHESLINE!"
JULIUS: "THAT is the potential strength of HAL right there."
JIVE: "I think Mister Entertainment might be having one of those "which is my head, which is my ass" moments right about now."
GHEORGHE: "The challenger showing there he can swing momentum back his way very quickly, just as the Champion. And now HAL brings Mister Entertainment to his feet, and hooks both arms ... double underhook suplex by HAL! And he gets up and follows with an elbow drop for good measure ... and now a cover!"
"ONE!"
"TWO!"
"Mister Entertainment GETS a shoulder up! And HAL is arguing Jack Markakis is administering a slow count."
JULIUS: "HAL should just concentrate on keeping on the Champion. He's got an opening to do some serious damage."
JIVE: "No sweat! The Champ still had a full second to kickout."
JULIUS: "Maybe, but that second will vanish in an instant, if he takes a couple more hits like that Clothesline."
JIVE: "Hey, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Or in Mister Entertainment's case, whatever doesn't lose you your title ...."
GHEORGHE: "I'd tend to think Mister Entertainment might disagree with that statement ... as he gets to one knee, then lifts himself up to his feet. HAL turns away from the referee just as the Champion is back up, and he meets Mister Entertainment with a clubbing blow across the back, then another! He hooks Mister Entertainment's arm and hoists him up with a suplex! HAL takes his time getting back to his feet, and brings Mister Entertainment up with him. An irish whip sends Mister Entertainment into a corner ... HAL charges! ... MISTER ENTERTAINMENT slips out of the corner just in time, and HAL CRASHES FULL-ON into the corner! And Mister Entertainment has the presence of mind to grab HAL and toss him through the ropes to the outside!"
JULIUS: "A break in favor of the Champion here. Perhaps he can break HALs building momentum."
JIVE: "Momentum is a lie!"
JULIUS: "No, Nick ... THE CAKE IS A LIE!"
JIVE: "... What the hell are you talking about?"
JULIUS: "Ask HAL. He was telling it to people in the back."
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment was resting in the corner, but he spots the challenger getting back to his feet on the outside. Mister Entertainment runs off the ropes and in HALs direction ... MISTER ENTERTAINMENT! HE BOUNDS UP TO THE TOP ROPE AND SPRINGS OFF WITH A SOMERSAULT MISSILE DROPKICK TO THE OUTSIDE! HE JUST SENT HAL RIGHT OVER THE PROTECTIVE BARRIER ... AND CRASHED HIMSELF ONTO THE SHIP DECK!"
CROWD: "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
JULIUS: "The Champion taking a huge risk there! I don't know if it paid off, but that was a sick looking move!"
JIVE: "Entertainment at its finest!"
GHEORGHE: "The self-proclaimed Champion of WHADAHTT and ON TV pulling out all the stops here, and this Havana crowd is eating it up! HAL landed somewhere over the barrier between the fans and the ring, while Mister Entertainment has picked himself off the deck and is heading INTO the crowd."
JULIUS: "Whether in an arena or on a cruise ship, there's no added comfort outside the confines of the ring. But Mister Entertainment seems to have come out of that particular train wreck just fine."
JIVE: "I think HAL would attest, if his brains weren't still scrambled."
GHEORGHE: "HAL certainly looks much worse for wear as he is only beginning to get back up. Mister Entertainment just took a STEEL CHAIR from a fan, and he's now setting it up just feet from HAL. The Television Champion leans against the barrier ... HAL turns and ENTERTAINMENT RUNS OFF THE CHAIR AND INTO THE AIR! HAL CATCHES HIM IN MIDAIR AND HITS A SPINEBUSTER ONTO THE STEEL CHAIR!"
JULIUS: "No mats out there in the crowd, either! Entertainment got put THROUGH steel and INTO the hardwood!"
JIVE: "There's so many ways to take that, but I'm STUNNED HAL managed to pull that out!"
GHEORGHE: "Mister Entertainment seemed to have things in hand, but HAL AGAIN relying on his strength, and he just bought himself a little time."
JULIUS: "Not too long! It seems Mister Entertainment is already getting to his knees."
JIVE: "What else would you expect from the WHADAHTT Champion!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL sees Mister Entertainment getting back up again, and IMMEDIATELY clubs the Champion back down! He stomps Mister Entertainment, then HOISTS him back up ... but Mister Entertainment BREAKS FREE! He delivers a straight right to HAL, then a CHOP to the chest!"
CROWD: "WOO!"
GHEORGHE: "... And another! (SFX: CROWD: "WOO!") But HAL comes back with one of those hulking right forearms to the head of Mister Entertainment ... and another forearm, followed with a closed fist and then a clubbing blow over the back of Mister Entertainment, bending him over. HAL begins working over the Champion, backing him up through the crowd ... and now PICKS UP the Champion over his shoulder!"
JULIUS: "HAL giving Mister Entertainment the rag doll treatment."
GHEORGHE: "HAL is carries Mister Entertainment toward the edge of the deck ... and what is he thinking here ..."
JIVE: "He wants to pitch the ON TV Champ right off the boat!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL RUNS WITH ENTERTAINMENT ... BUT THE CHAMPION SLIPS OFF THE SHOULDER AND SHOVES HAL INTO THE SHIP'S WALL! AND THIS MATCH CONTINUES TO SWAY BACK-AND-FORTH WITH ACTION!"
JIVE: "Entertainment abound!"
JULIUS: "And now HAL better watch out. Payback is a bitch, especially if you try dropping someone off a ship, and fail."
GHEORGHE: "I don't know if he was really intending on that, or just to ram Mister Entertainment into the wall, but either way, Mister Entertainment is taking exception and going on the offensive. He lays into HAL with some kicks to the chest and abdomen ... now backs off a bit, yelling at HAL to get up ... I'm not sure I like this ..."
JULIUS: "Things are about to get downright UGLY!"
JIVE: "Knock him out Champ!"
GHEORGHE: "HAL gets back to his feet, only to notice where he is and ... TOO LATE! Mister Entertainment with a jumping kick right to the head of HAL! The challenger looks dazed on his feet and now ... MY LORD! HAL!"
