(FADEIN: Center of the ring.)
GHEORGHE: “What an incredible way to start RAUCOUS. We are here in Pennsylvania and there is so much to talk about with the last three matches … not to mention the next edition of RAUCOUS …”
JIVE: “The semifinals of the Television tournament plus two other matches as we invade Towson, Maryland!”
GHEORGHE: “That’s true ..we’ll be broadcasting LIVE from the Goucher College Sports Centre in Towson, Maryland!”
JIVE: “Thos kids won’t know what hit ‘em!”
GHEORGHE: “Tickets go on sale Monday … but before we delve too much into our Maryland show, we’ve still got three huge match ups here tonight, including our next match between the American and the Renaissance Man!”
JIVE: “The American is going to show that fruity Frenchman that there isn’t anything like a good ole’ USA beating!”
GHEORGHE: “The American and the Renaissance Man are both excellent wrestlers and I’m sure that whoever wins this match will have proven just how talented they really are. These two are matched stat for stat.”
JIVE: “Uh huh. The American is everyone’s favorite son … they’ll be riots if The Renaissance Man moves on.”
GHEORGHE: “I think you’re starting to fall for everything the American says.”
JIVE: “I can’t help it, he’s so charming.”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen I am getting word from the back that Jason Tripp has Acting President Marcus LaRoque with him .. let’s head back to Jason!”
(CUTTO: Back area. Jason Tripp is standing there with a huge smile on his face as President LaRoque is looking at his watch.)
TRIPP: “Thank you, Tom. I am standing here with Acting President Marcus LaRoque. Mr. LaRoque, Jared Wells came out earlier and demanded that his match here tonight with Suicidal Killer be a no disqualification match.”
LaROQUE: “I don’t know what Jared Wells has been thinking lately, and to demand, not even ask, but demand, a no disqualification match with someone who outweighs him almost 2 to 1 … well, it’s his funeral.”
TRIPP: “So you ARE going to make this match no disqualification?”
LaROQUE: “As I said, Jared Wells wants it to be .. I talked to Suicidal Killer after hearing his request and he said ‘Oh hell yea’… so the match has now been changed to a no disqualification match.”
TRIPP: “Thank you, Mr. President. I’m sure you have tons of things to do. There you have it, Tom, Nick. Jared Wells versus Suicidal Killer will be a NO DISQUALIFICATION match here tonight on RAUCOUS!”
(CUTTO: Announcer’s table.)
JIVE: “Haha! Suicidal Killer practically got a BYE into the semifinals of the tournament!”
GHEORGHE: “I must admit, I don’t understand Wells’ thinking, but he got what he wanted! That match will be coming up right after our next match … so let’s go up to Carl Jacobs for the introductions.”
(CUTTO: The rampway as the logo for the next match slowly appears out of thin air. CUTTO: In the ring as Jacobs stands with the microphone in his hand, ready to announce.)
JACOBS: “The following match has been scheduled for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit. This is a quarterfinal match for the New ERA Television Championship tournament! Introducing first …”
(CUEUP: 'Passport' by Klaus Doldinger.)
JACOBS: “Being led down to the ring by his manager Mark Pool.. from the French Riviera ….. weighing in at 244 pounds …. THE RENAISSANCE MAN!”
(Pool comes running through the curtains as The Renaissance Man follows him, walking. They walk down to the ring and get in awaiting the introduction of American.)
JIVE: “Renaissance Man with that god awful blubbery idiot.”
GHEORGHE: “Mark Pool instructing the referee to make sure to call this match fair and square or else …”
JIVE: “The ref would make good to wipe his face right now … Pool is giving him a bath!”
JACOBS: “And his opponent ….”
(CUEUP: 'Salaambo's Aria' by Janice Watson. The American comes down to the ring being led by burlesque dancers who wink at people in the crowd..)
JIVE: “Now there is someone who knows how to put on a show!”
JACOBS: “From the American Boarding House in the Snowy Colorado Mountains ….. he is the New ERA Universal Champion …… THE AMERICAN!”
GHEORGHE: “Must he be announced as the Universal Champion everytime he comes to the ring?”
JIVE: “Uh, yea!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: “Mark Pool giving The Renaissance Man a few more pointers before he exits the ring .. The Renaissance Man meets The American in the middle of the ring and both are talking some smack to each other … And the American just slapped the Renaissance Man across the face!! The Renaissance Man touches his face …. And now he knees The American in the midsection!”
JIVE: “What a cheap shot!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man hooks the head … swinging neckbreaker! The American slowly gets up … the Renaissance Man comes at him … but the American quickly slides underneath the Renaissance Man’s legs … comes up behind him .. knocks him into the ropes with a roll up …. But the Renaissance Man holds on to the ropes …. The American back up …. AND THE RENAISSANCE MAN TAKES HIM DOWN WITH A FLYING BULLDOG HEADLOCK!!”
JIVE: “The American is going to let The Renaissance Man wear himself out, Tom.. I’m telling ya!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man wrenching back on the neck of The American .. and Mark Pool is yelling at him to hurry this offense up. The Renaissance Man picks up The American … and throws him into the corner .. charges in .. and practically takes off the American’s head!! The American stumbles forward and falls face first into the mat.”
JIVE: “Come on, ref!! How much did Pool pay you?!”
GHEORGHE: “Pool didn’t pay him anything, Nick.. The Renaissance Man is now walking around to the front of the American … locks in a front face lock …. AND DROPS THE HEAD OF THE AMERICAN TO THE MAT IN A DDT! The Renaissance Man with a cover …. But the American easily kicks out before the ref can get to the mat.”
JIVE: “The Renaissance Man doesn’t think he can hold down the American after a few quick moves does he? Don’t try to hold America down!”
GHEORGHE: “America?”
JIVE: “Er, the American.”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man now heading over to the ropes .. gets on the second turnbuckle … comes off with an elbow to the face…. BUT THE AMERICAN MOVES and the Renaissance Man is holding his elbow!”
JIVE: “Yes!”
GHEORGHE: “The American on his feet now … picks up the legs of the Renaissance Man … and CATAPULTS HIM INTO THE CORNER!! The Renaissance Man is straddling the ropes w/ his arms …. And now the American IS PLACING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE!!! The American goes up top!!”
JIVE: “This is getting good!”
GHEORGHE: “THE AMERICAN NAILS THE RENAISSANCE MAN WITH A BELLY TO BACK SUPERPLEX!!! Both men are lying on the mat!”
JIVE: “I think that took as much out of the American as The Renaissance Man! But the American can overcome these adversities!”
GHEORGHE: “I’ve totally lost any clue on what the hell you were talking about … The American inches over to the Renaissance Man and puts his arm over him … ONE …… TWO …… THREE … NO! The Renaissance Man had his foot on the rope! The American now sits up and is shaking the cobwebs out …”
JIVE: “He’s just thinking of the best way to put this match away.”
GHEORGHE: “The American up on his feet and he goes over to The Renaissance Man … picks him up … hooks the arms … BUTTERFLY SUPLEX INTO A PIN!! ONE …. TWO … kickout by the Renaissance Man!”
JIVE: “That was clearly three!! Mark Pool DID pay off the referee!!”
GHEORGHE: “The American slaps the mat … and now he’s locking up the legs of the Renaissance Man!!”
JIVE: “Work over those legs!”
GHEORGHE: “The American trying to lock on a half crab …… the ref over to ask The Renaissance Man if he gives up …… AND MARK POOL JUST SPIT IN THE FACE OF THE AMERICAN!! THE AMERICAN RELEASES THE HOLD AND GRABS POOL BY THE HAIR!”
JIVE: “KILL HIM!!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is over there trying to get the American to release Pool … and the American doesn’t even realize that the Renaissance Man is getting a much needed breather!! The American now goes back to the Renaissance Man as the referee is telling Pool to stay out of the way … AND THE RENAISSANCE MAN HITS THE AMERICAN IN THE NUTS!! The American is bent over …. And the Renaissance Man with a European uppercut!”
JIVE: “Where was the ref on that one! The Renaissance Man should be disqualified!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man now to his feet and they lock up … Renaissance Man with a knee to the midsection … and nails the American with another European uppercut! The American is sent to the ropes … The Renaissance Man bends down …. BIIIIIIIG BACK BODY DROP sends the American DOWN! The Renaissance Man now takes The American … and knees him in the back! Renaissance Man against the ropes … and drops an elbow on the back.”
JIVE: “This is ludicrous! Come on! We need a new referee!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man picks up the American … he sets him up for a piledriver .. but the American BLOCKS IT!! The American tries to back body drop The Renaissance Man.. but he can’t get him up! And the Renaissance Man piledrives The American! Cover by the Renaissance Man … ONE …. TWO … kickout by the American!”
JIVE: “The Renaissance Man drags the American to his feet … OUCH!”
CROWD: “Whooooooooooooooooo!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man with chops to the chest that are sending the American into the ropes …. The Renaissance Man with an irish whip …. REVERSAL by the American … REVERSED again by the Renaissance Man …. The American goes into the ropes ….. comes back … STANDING DROPKICK BY THE RENAISSANCE MAN! The American goes down to the mat like a sack of potatoes!”
JIVE: “Sack of potatoes, Tom? What great play by play…”
GHEORGHE: “At least I’m not calling everything a slobberknocker…”
JIVE: “That’s true..”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man now with a head of hair as he brings the American to his feet … grabs him by the side … BACKBREAKER! And he holds the American in place and is trying to stretch his back even further out!!”
JIVE: “The American needs to stop playing and start putting real effort into this match!! His Television Championship lies on the line!”
GHEORGHE: “I thought that Suicidal Killer was going to win…”
JIVE: “You know what I meant!”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man really applying pressure on The American’s back … and now Mark Pool is telling him to finish it off!”
JIVE: “The American is going to put an end to that..”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man picks up the American … BUT THE AMERICAN WITH A JAB TO THE FACE OF RENAISSANCE MAN!!! KICKS HIM IN THE KNEE!!”
JIVE: “I TOLD YOU!”
GHEORGHE: “No!!! The Renaissance Man hits the American with ANOTHER low blow!! And the ref is telling him that if he does it again he’ll be disqualified!!”
JIVE: “But he did do it again!!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man nods …. Locks up American …. EXPLODER SUPLEX!!! The Renaissance Man is calling for the Epilogue!!!”
JIVE: “Someone stop him!! Where the hell are the burlesque dancers when you need them??? IF YOU SAVE HIM I’LL BUY YOU A HAMBURGER!!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man applies the ankle lock …… AND NOW HE SITS BACK IN A SHARPSHOOTER-esque move!! The American is screaming in pain …….. AND HE FINALLY SUBMITS!! The Renaissance Man is moving on to the semi-finals!!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JIVE: “No!!! That’s not supposed to happen!!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match by submission … and moving on the to Semifinals …… THE RENAISSANCE MAN!”
GHEORGHE: “The American is eliminated from the tournament as the Renaissance Man moves on … and he’ll take on the winner of the Jean Rabesque and Brody Hansen match!”
JIVE: “I can’t believe it.”
GHEORGHE: “The fact that you are 0 for 2 tonight?”
JIVE: “Shut the fuck up. .500 won’t be bad! I didn’t see you lay down any numbers!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, when we get back … Jared Wells and Suicidal Killer will go ONE on ONE in a no disqualification match!”
JIVE: “And I’ll finally get at least ONE right!”
GHEORGHE: “You can only hope… stay tuned!”
(CUTTO: Backstage as Jared Wells is smiling patting the bat with his left hand … )
