(FADEIN: Suicidal Killer and the Warden are in the back room.)
KILLER: “Wells. You want to experience your own personal hell? I hope you’re ready for the worst beating of your pathetic life.”
(FADETO: Ringside as Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive sit attentively.)
JIVE: “Suicidal Killer is ready to beat the living shit out of Jared Wells here tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “I have to agree that this match seems to fit more into Suicidal Killer’s favor than Rage’s.”
JIVE: “Damn right it does! And especially with the Warden …. Suicidal Killer is all but a lock for the semifinals!”
GHEORGHE: “But I am not going to count out Jared Wells at all. He’s had to fight an uphill battle throughout the whole tournament. First he was partnered with Pyro, who ended up being of very little help…”
JIVE: “You forget to mention that the reason Pyro wasn’t any help was because Wells attacked him before the match!”
GHEORGHE: “Then Wells had to take on Pyro one on one in the sudden death round … and now he has to take on Suicidal Killer.”
JIVE: “That’s all nice and good, but what about Killer!? He had to take on at the time WFW World Champion Scotty Michaels and the American …. And then last week, he ended up losing to Larry Tact and El Arco Iris due to a haphazard partner!”
GHEORGHE: “Not taking anything away from Killer, but Shawn Hart and Jean Rabesque are both high high caliber wrestlers … Wells had to fight from the start on his own.”
JIVE: “Oh please. Cry me a river…”
GHEORGHE: “In case you’re just joining us, John Doe and The Renaissance Man have both moved on to the semifinals of the Television Championship tournament … and the big news right now is that Acting President Marcus LaRoque has made our next match between Jared Wells and Suicidal Killer a ‘no disqualification’ match.”
JIVE: “AKA Killer murders Wells match.”
GHEORGHE: (shakes his head) “And then after this match we have our main event as Jean Rabesque and Brody Hansen fight each other for the final spot in the semifinals …”
JIVE: “MURDER IN THE BACK!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, I am hearing that Suicidal Killer has attacked Jared Wells in the back as he was waiting for his music to cue up … let’s go back there!”
(CUTTO: The back as Suicidal Killer is throwing Jared Wells into a bunch of trash bags …)
JIVE: “Now only if there were some guys to take that trash out …”
GHEORGHE: “Killer is talking over to the trash bags .. and he picks up Jared Wells …. AND NOW HE THROWS HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE CONCRETE WALL! Jared Wells slumping down on the ground … and now SUICIDAL KILLER PICKS HIM UP BY THE THROAT!! KILLER IS TRYING TO CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF JARED WELLS!”
JIVE: “I told you this would be the murder of Jared Wells match!”
GHEORGHE: “SUICIDAL KILLER NOW ONCE MORE TOSSING JARED WELLS INTO THE BAGS OF TRASH! Suicidal Killer picks up a chair …. And he is searching through the trash for Wells! Killer lifts up the chair …. AND SMASHES IT INTO A PILE OF BAGS!”
JIVE: “Look at all that trash flying up in the face of Killer!”
GHEORGHE: “There is Jared Wells crawling out from the side… but the Warden is yelling at Killer to get Wells!”
JIVE: “Good thing we have some people looking out for Killer.”
GHEORGHE: “Killer walks over to Wells … and places that huge boot on the throat of Jared Wells!! He is using that boot to continue to choke Jared Wells out!! Wells is desperately looking for something to help get him out of this hold ….. Wells trying to punch the shins of Suicidal Killer … and Killer releases the hold on his own ..”
JIVE: “Killer wants to play with him some more before he knocks him out.”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer going through the trash now ..”
JIVE: “What the hell is he looking for???”
GHEORGHE: “Killer is furiously tossing trash bags … and Jared Wells is rolling over to the Coke machine … he reaches under …. And HE GETS A BAT!!”
JIVE: “WATCH OUT KILLER!”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer now has a BARREL! He walks over to Wells and lifts it over his head …..”
CROWD: “N . E . W ! N . E . W !”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells cracked the top of that bat into the stomach of Suicidal Killer …. And Killer drops the barrel behind him. Wells on one knee …. AND HE CRACKS KILLER AGAIN IN THE STOMACH …. Killer doubles over …. AND WELLS DRIVES THE HANDLE OF THE BAT INTO THE SKULL OF SUICIDAL KILLER… Killer is wobbling!!”
JIVE: “NO!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells up to both feet … AND HE CLOTHESLINES KILLER WITH THE BAT AND KILLER FALLS!!! Jared Wells with the cover …. ONE ….”
JIVE: “Killer practically tosses Wells three feet in the air!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells up fast though … and drops the leg across the throat of Suicidal Killer … Wells trying to shake off the attack earlier … Jared Wells locks on a sleeper … and Suicidal Killer doesn’t seem to be wanting to stay down…”
JIVE: “You can’t put a giant like Killer to sleep…”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells now on the back of Suicidal Killer as he stands back … Killer turning around trying to throw off Wells.. Killer swings Wells around …. But Wells grabs Killer’s head ….. AND DRIVES IT INTO THE TRASH BARREL!!!”
JIVE: “Look at the dent Killer’s head left in the trash barrel!!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells now runs over to the Coke machine ….. he’s asking a fan for a dollar!! Jared Wells is getting a can of Coke from the machine!!”
JIVE: “Wells drinking on the job …”
GHEORGHE: “Wells walks up to Killer ….. and HE IS POURING THE CAN OF COKE ONTO SUICIDAL KILLER! KILLER GRABS THE THROAT OF JARED WELLS!!!”
JIVE: “Jared Wells looks as if he’s about to shit his pants!”
GHEORGHE: “Killer has Wells by the throat ….. and he tosses him to the side! Suicidal Killer on his feet now … and he’s bringing Jared Wells through those doors in the back ….. AND THEY’RE COMING DOWN TO RINGSIDE!”
JIVE: “With no introductions?!? For shame!”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer kicks Wells body down the rampway! And the fans are tossing anything they can get at Suicidal Killer!”
JIVE: “Here comes the Warden through the curtains now ….”
GHEORGHE: “The Warden barking at Suicidal Killer to hurt Wells … Suicidal Killer now at the bottom of the ramp … and he irish whips Jared Wells … AND WELLS HITS THE GUARDRAIL BACK FIRST! KILLER CHARGES IN … BUT A FAN PUSHES WELLS OUT OF THE WAY AND KILLER GOES CRASHING INTO THE GUARDRAIL!”
JIVE: “That’s not fair!”
GHEORGHE: “No disqualification, Nick. The fans could swarm the ring and hang Killer, and there’s nothing the referee could do … although, we here at New ERA of Wrestling do not condone fan violence and any fan who attempts to hurt a wrestler will be immediately ejected from the building.”
JIVE: “Killer needs to get up.”
GHEORGHE: “Suicidal Killer slow to get up .. and he finally looks over to the fallen Wells… Killer rolls Jared Wells into the ring .. and now Killer rolls under the bottom rope. Suicidal Killer slow to get to his feet … Picks up Jared Wells …. SIDEWALK SLAMS him to the mat! The cover …..”
JIVE: “Its over … there’s no way Wells can kick out of that …”
GHEORGHE: “ONE ………. TWO ……… THRE—KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “That was like Helen Keller trying to count …. Could the referee have counted that ANY SLOWER?”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells had to dig WAY down deep to get out of that move .. and Killer looks VERY frustrated, Nick.”
JIVE: “How would you feel if after all that the ref fucks it up and your opponent kicks out!”
GHEORGHE: “The Warden ordering Killer over … quite frankly I wouldn’t have done that, Nick.”
JIVE: “I’m sure there is a very good reason … strategy, Tom …”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells using the ropes to get up on the other side … He rests on the ropes … Killer turns around and he has a devious smile on his face!! KILLER CHARGES AT WELLS!!! BUT WELLS DUCKS AND PULLS DOWN THE TOP ROPE AND KILLER GOES CRASHING TO THE FLOOR!!! WELLS LIKE A CAT TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!!! AND HE COMES DOWN ON TOP OF KILLER WITH A SPLASH FROM 10 FEET IN THE AIR!”
JIVE: “Jared Wells is trying to kill himself! First asking for the no DQ match, and now doing that move! I’m convinced!! He needs to be checked into a clinic!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are on the ground … Wells seems to be trying to move first .. ”
JIVE: “No matter who wins is going to be destroyed. Only Suicidal Killer would be able to continue in the semi’s! Wells would be easy prey.”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells is on his feet as Suicidal Killer has rolled onto his stomach .. Wells is now looking underneath the RING!!! JARED WELLS HAS PULLED SOME ELECTRICAL WIRE FROM UNDERNEATH THE BOTTOM OF THE RING ….. AND HE IS CHOKING SUICIDAL KILLER WITH THE ELECTRICAL ROPE!!!”
JIVE: “Wells is doing ok … I guess he is showing some people what he’s made of … BUT NOT ME …. Oh no, not me!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells releases the stranglehold on Killer … and Killer is gasping for air …. WELLS COMES BACK WITH A SPINNING HEEL KICK AND CATCHES KILLER RIGHT IN THE FACE! Jared Wells now locks on ANOTHER SLEEPER!!”
JIVE: “He just doesn’t learn does he?”
GHEORGHE: “The ref checking the arms of Suicidal Killer …. Lifts the arm ….. AND IT DROPS ONCE!! Jared Wells tightens that grasp on Suicidal Killer ….. The ref picks up the arm a second time ….. AND IT DROPS AGAIN!! If it drops one more time then Jared Wells will win this match!”
JIVE: “And if it doesn’t then Jared Wells better pray that Killer doesn’t get a second wind ….”
GHEORGHE: “The ref raises the arm a third time ….. IT DRO – NO! KILLER MANAGED TO SHOOT IT RIGHT BACK UP! Suicidal Killer ON ONE KNEE ….. SUICIDAL KILLER IS ON BOTH FEET AND JARED WELLS HAS A LOOK OF SURPRISE ON HIS FACE!!!”
JIVE: “It’s over now ….”
GHEORGHE: “WELLS BACK ON THE APRON!!”
JIVE: “How’d he do that?”
GHEORGHE: “HE hopped off Killer’s back … JARED WELLS CLIMBS TO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE …….”
JIVE: “Don’t go to the well once too often, Jared….”
GHEORGHE: “KILLER TURNS …. AND JARED WELLS NAILS AN ELBOW DRIVER RIGHT INTO THE TOP OF SUICIDAL KILLER’S HEAD……. KILLER GOES DOWN AND DOWN HARD!”
JIVE: “He could’ve given Killer a serious head injury by doing that!”
GHEORGHE: “Jared Wells going back on the apron for good measure …. Runs off …. AND SPLASHES SUICIDAL KILLER ON THE FLOOR … the ref comes over to make the count …… ONE ……….. TWO ……..”
JIVE: “COME ON KILLER GET UP!”
GHEORGHE: “THREE!!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings as the crowd goes crazy..)
JIVE: “WHAT ON EARTH HAS HAPPENED?!!?”
GHEORGHE: “I cannot believe it!!!!! JARED WELLS HAS DEFEATED SUICIDAL KILLER IN A NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH HERE TONIGHT ON RAUCOUS!!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match via pinfall ….. and moving on to the semifinals of the Television Title tournament ….. RAGE o FIRE …….. JARED WELLS!”
