(FADEIN: The announcer’s table where Nick Jive and Tom Gheorghe are sitting. The lights come up as the fans begin to cheer.)
GHEORGHE: “And we are back from commercial break and our next match up is between ‘Gentleman’ Jonathan Marx and The Renaissance Man.”
JIVE: “Marx was so close to becoming the first New ERA World Heavyweight Champion. If Larry Tact hadn’t cheated his way through the battle royal by taking breaks, then this match wouldn’t be taking place here tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man and his manager Mark Pool have been effective so far in New ERA, and it could have easily been the Renaissance Man in the World Heavyweight Championship battle royal if not for Cross leaving him during the Battle Bowl Mania tag match.”
JIVE: “Well, I’m just glad that both men will be in action in front of our very eyes because there is no doubt in my mind that they’ll put on a show. Marx must be excited that he’s going to get another chance at the World title on the next edition of RAUCOUS when he and Peter File will take on Larry Tact and El Arco Iris.”
GHEORGHE: “Yes, if Marx and File do win, then whoever makes the fall will get a World Heavyweight Championship shot.”
JIVE: “While Marx may have his sights set on that match, lets just hope he doesnt get to ahead of himself tonight when he and Renaissance Man go head to head. The worst thing that could happen right now would be a demoralized Jonathan Marx heading into that tag match.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx was eerily quiet leading up to the match tonight, but so was the Renaissance Man.”
JIVE: “Which is even more surprising considering how much Mark Pool loves to talk.”
GHEORGHE: “Ha, ha .. that is true. Let’s go up to Carl Jacobs who will make ring introductions.”
(CUTTO: The ring, underneath Carl Jacobs, the lineup for the match appears before it slowly fades.)
JACOBS: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall and has a 30 minute time limit.”
JIVE: “Here we go again.”
JACOBS: “Introducing first ....”
(CUEUP: 'Passport' by Klaus Doldinger.)
JACOBS: “From the French Riviera... he stands 6 feet 3 and weighs 244 pounds ...”
(Renaissance Man and Mark Pool come from behind the curtains to a chorus of boos)
JACOBS: “Being led to the ring by his manager, Mark Pool ....... THE RENAISSANCE MAN!”
(Renaissance Man and Pool make their way down to the ring. On the way down Pool gets clocked in the head with a soda, whose top flies off and spills on his suit. Luckily, the soda pours right off to the ground.)
JIVE: “Ah, the joys of the new GAP Stress-free khakis .. liquids roll right off!”
JACOBS: “And his opponent ....”
(CUEUP: "Only Happy When It Rains" by Garbage.)
JACOBS: “He hails from Princeton, New Jersey ..... weighing in at 215 pounds and standing 6 feet 2...”
(Marx comes through the curtain to nice fan recognition. He walks down the ramp.)
JACOBS: “GENTLEMAN ... JONATHAN MARX!”
GHEORGHE: “The fans definitely showing some appreciation for his efforts in the Fatal Fourway Battle Royal...”
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: “And this match is underway! Jonathan Marx and the Renaissance Man start in the center of the ring as the ref is explaining the rules ... they turn to go to their respect... NO! The Renaissance Man quickly turned back to Marx and nails him in the back of the head with a forearm shot that brings Marx to the mat!”
JIVE: “Renaissance Man knows that he’s got to strike quickly, because if he doesn’t, then Marx will be able to use his technical prowess.”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man stomps on the back of Jonathan Marx and is gesturing as if he is telling him to get up. Marx to his feet .... Renaissance Man comes in with a knee to the face .... BUT MARX ROLLS OUT OF THE WAY AND RENAISSANCE IS OFF BALANCE FROM HITTING AIR!”
JIVE: “He just fell into the ropes!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man falls into the ropes ... and his leg is caught! Renaissance Man’s leg is caught in the rope and he is hanging upside down! Jonathan Marx gets up and he has a smile on his face!”
JIVE: “I told you this would happen!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx with some kicks to the midsection of the Renaissance Man .... Marx is kicking away and the only thing that Renaissance Man can do is hang there and take the abuse! Finally the ref manages to free Renaissance Man’s foot and he goes to the ground.”
JIVE: “The referee shouldn’t interfere with things like that. That was a perfect opportunity for Marx to get more licks in.”
GHEORGHE: “What if that were Peter File stuck in the ropes?”
JIVE: “The ref wouldn’t need to do anything. I’m sure that Peter File has been tied up many times and has a fool proof plan to get himself out of those situations .... if he wanted to.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx picks Renaissance Man up by the tights ... throws him into the corner .... Marx now climbing the turnbuckle and straddles Renaissance .... AND NOW HE IS POUNDING AWAY..”
CROWD: “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV..”
GHEORGHE: “But Renaissance Man carries him out halfway to the center of the ring ... AND DROPS HIM WITH AN INVERTED ATOMIC DROP! Marx holds himself as the Renaissance Man is trying to regain his composure!”
JIVE: “Listen to Mark Pool yell at Renaissance Man ... Pool always has something up his sleeve!”
GHEORGHE: “Renaissance Man hooks the arms of Jonathan Marx ... TRIES TO GET HIM OVER WITH A BUTTERFLY SUPLEX BUT MARX COUNTERS WITH A MULE KICK!”
JIVE: “Thankfully Renaissance Man doesn’t plan on having children any time soon.”
GHEORGHE: “Marx now turns around .... BUT RENAISSANCE MAN MANAGES TO TAKE THEM BOTH TO THE MAT WITH A DESPERATION RIGHT FIST ...”
JIVE: “Renaissance Man was still hurting ... and I think he had a little too much momentum when he flung that right.”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man rolls to the ropes to get himself up ... but now he rests himself on the second rope. Jonathan Marx gets up holding his jaw ... and he sees Renaissance Man resting on the ropes .... Marx against the opposite ropes ....”
JIVE: “This is a setup if I ever did see one.”
GHEORGHE: “MARX HOPS ONTO THE BACK OF RENAISSANCE MAN CHOKING HIM ON THE SECOND ROPE!”
JIVE: “Or not.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx is now bouncing up and down on the back of Renaissance Man repeatedly choking him. The referee is over there demanding that Marx get off the back of the Renaissance Man and give him some air.”
JIVE: “Time and time again we see the ref get involved when he shouldnt.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx waiting in the center of the ring for the Renaissance Man to get to his feet .... MARX CHARGES IN!!!”
(SFX: Crowd pops)
GHEORGHE: “THE RENAISSANCE MAN SENDS JONATHAN MARX OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “Marx held on!”
GHEORGHE: “MARX HELD ON TO THE ROPE AND PULLS HIMSELF UP ON THE APRON!!! THE RENAISSANCE MAN TURNS AROUND .... AND MARX GRABS HIM BY THE HEAD AND DROPS TO THE ARENA FLOOR CATAPULTING RENAISSANCE MAN’s THROAT OFF THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “The referee warns Jonathan Marx to stay away from the choking moves or else he risks being disqualified! How immature!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx nods his head as he rolls back into the ring. He walks up to Renaissance Man ... AND IS STEPPING ON HIS THROAT!!!”
JIVE: “The referee is livid! THE REFEREE JUST KICKED MARX’s FOOT OFF OF RENAISSANCE MAN’s THROAT!! Can’t he be accused of sexual harassment or something??”
GHEORGHE: “The referee really laying it into Jonathan Marx and Marx assures the ref that it won’t happen again. The Renaissance Man gets onto his knees .... and Marx walks over .... AND RENAISSANCE MAN UPPERCUTS JONATHAN MARX RIGHT IN THE CAJONES!”
JIVE: “Marx is doubled over ... and Renaissance Man places his head between his legs.. BUT THE REF TURNS RENAISSANCE MAN AROUND AND IS NOW YELLING AT HIM!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men have been very abrasive when it comes to choking and nut shotting ... the referee is giving them both a final warning. Renaissance Man shrugs his shoulders and places Marx’s head back between his legs .... picks him up for a piledriver .... BUT MARX IS BLOCKING! MARX NOW TRYING TO LIFT UP RENAISSANCE MAN .... BUT RENAISSANCE MAN IS BLOCKING!!! RENAISSANCE MAN DRIVES MARX’s HEAD TO THE MAT WITH THE PILEDRIVER!”
JIVE: “Marx almost turned that around.”
GHEORGHE: “The Renaissance Man goes for the cover ..... ONE ...”
JIVE: “Renaissance Man has his feet on the ropes!”
GHEORGHE: “TWO ... THE REF NOTICES HIS FEET ON THE ROPES AND BREAKS THE FALL. Renaissance Man giving the referee some lip ... and now he goes back to Marx. The Renaissance Man trying to lock Marx in a surfboard now .... but he can’t seem to get Marx’s arms .... MARX PULLS ONE ARM FORWARD AND THE RENAISSANCE MAN FALLS ON TOP OF HIM!”
JIVE: “Marx was trying to avoid the move, but in the process, he caused all of the Renaissance Man’s weight to fall on him.”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are lying on the mat as Jonathan Marx pushes the Renaissance Man off him. Jonathan Marx trying to get to his feet as the Renaissance Man is doing the same. Both men are on their knees ... AND THEY ARE TRADING LEFTS AND RIGHTS ON THEIR KNEES! Jonathan Marx gets the advantage as he hits left after left ... Jonathan Marx is on his feet! Marx with some more hits .. and now the Renaissance Man is on his feet!! Marx with a punch, but the Renaissance Man ducks and comes back ... HOOKS MARX .... AND DRIVES HIM TO THE MAT WITH A ROCK BOTTOM.”
JIVE: “I think Marx was literally knocking the sense out of The Renaissance Man ... Renaissance Man didn’t know where he was and just grabbed at Marx the first chance he got.”
GHEORGHE: “Both men are lying in the middle of the ring. The Renaissance Man is sitting up ... and now he’s on his feet... THE RENAISSANCE MAN HAS JONATHAN MARX BY THE THROAT ... RENAISSANCE MAN IS CHOKING THE LIFE OUT OF JONATHAN MARX AS THE REFEREE IS TRYING TO GET HIS HANDS OFF HIM!!!”
(SFX: Crowd groans)
JIVE: “Jesus! They might as well have called this match the Fight of the Infertiles!”
GHEORGHE: “MARX WITH A LOW BLOW THAT CAUSES RENAISSANCE MAN TO FALL TO THE GROUND!”
JIVE: “Where is the referee going?”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JIVE: “What the hell?”
GHEORGHE: “I think the ref has called for the bell, but I don’t know on whom!”
JACOBS: “The referee has informed me that due to the continuing actions of both Jonathan Marx AND the Renaissance Man ... that this match has ended with a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION!”
JIVE: “Double DQ! You can’t end a match like this where both men were fighting tooth and nail with a double disqualification!”
GHEORGHE: “If you’re the ref you can do whatever you want ...”
JIVE: “And that’s the problem!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, Jonathan Marx and the Renaissance Man are both in the ring still .. and I’m not sure when they’ll move themselves out of it! But we have to take a commercial break ... when we get back .... the main event .... the MENAGE-a-TROIS match for the New ERA Television Championship as Jean Rabesque defends the title not only against John Doe, but also ‘Violent’ Nick Savage!! STAY TUNED!”
JIVE: “I need another Poland Spring .. no wonder Waters has so many ... you’re just as bad as Brandon Jacobs!”
