(FADEIN: Juliet Marceau, sitting in her lockerroom. She is reading a magazine. There is a knock on her door, and she quickly hides the magazine in her drawer, pulls some papers out and looks up.)
MARCEAU: “Come in.”
(Chaos walks through the door.)
MARCEAU: “Chaos... how are you?”
CHAOS: “I'm more then a little pissed off. LaRoque has fined and suspended me, but I can take that. I have a bigger problem.”
MARCEAU: “What's that?”
(Chaos walks over, places his hands upon her desk and stares down.)
CHAOS: “You lied to me.”
MARCEAU: “Excuse me?”
CHAOS: “Suicide left... I have no guarantee he's coming back. You told me I wouldn't have a chance to face him unless I went out and fought Rabesque. I did my part. I even got his title. Yet I still don't have what I want and that makes me VERY unhappy.”
(She pauses for a moment.)
MARCEAU: “So how can I make this up to you?”
CHAOS: “Simple... you can deliver me the bastard he kicked me in the face.”
(Again, she pauses.)
MARCEAU: “Well I would, but I have NO idea who that is!”
CHAOS: “Ok... well then I got an offer for you.”
MARCEAU: “Really... indulge me.”
CHAOS: “Simple... you let me loose and IF that man shows up again tonight... Well then you all stand back while I have my chance to get him. No rules... no restrictions, you turn me loose on this place. When I find him... HE'S MINE!!!!”
MARCEAU: “Don't you mean if?”
(Chaos smiles.)
CHAOS: “I mean when. Now do you agree?”
MARCEAU: “Tell you what even I can't completely cover you this time. However if you square things with LaRoque... then I don't care what you do... at least for tonight. Just remember... actions have consequences.”
(Chaos smiles wide.)
CHAOS: “Yes they do.”
(CUTTO: A familiar man walking up and down the hallways of the Allstate Arena. The man known as ‘the Phenom’ …. SHAWN HART! Hart ducks into dressing room after dressing room. But he does not seem to be finding what, or whom, he is looking for. CUTTO: Ringside.)
JIVE: “That is Shawn Hart! We haven’t seen ‘the Phenom’ since Scotty Michaels punked his ass out!”
GHEORGHE: “That did indeed look just like Shawn Hart … but what was he looking for?”
JIVE: “Who knows! Maybe he was looking for some lovin’ from one of our competitors in this next match … you know, they say over in the NWL, Hart likes peeking into the showering area!”
GHEORGHE: “That’s an ugly rumor, Nick … Madonna Wayne Grossard is making his debut here tonight against ‘Dancin’ Danny Danger. Danger lost last edition of RAUCOUS to ‘the Messenger’ Trevor Cane, and watched as his boom box was broken over the head of Cane by the ULTIMATE surprise!”
JIVE: “Cane will get his revenge at the pay per view!”
GHEORGHE: “And then you have Marceau letting Chaos run rampant!! Let’s head up to the ring and get this edition of RAUCOUS off and running!”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the middle of the ring. He raises his hands as the fans cheer. The lineup for the match flashes on the screen.)
JACOBS: “The following match up is scheduled for ONE FALL and has a THIRTY MINUTE time limit! Introducing first …”
(CUEUP: ‘Can’t Touch This’ by MC Hammer as Danny Danger comes dancing down the rampway.)
JACOBS: “Dancin’ his way down to the ring …… he is ‘DANCIN’ DANNY DANGER!”
(CUEUP: ‘Faggot’ by Mindless Self Indulgence.)
JACOBS: “And his opponent….”
(MWG comes out wearing a Zebra striped trench coat, tights and pink boots.)
JACOBS: “He hails from Somewhere Where the Birds Sing and the Sun shines …. Standing six foot three and weighing in at 232 pounds …… he is MADONNA WAYNE GROSSARD!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JIVE: “Look at Grossard … he is rearing to go!”
GHEORGHE: “Madonna Wayne Grossard is staring at Danny Danger … and he is looking him up and down.”
JIVE: “Grossard likes what he sees.”
GHEORGHE: “Grossard coming to the centre of the ring .. he and Danger lock up … and Danny Danger quick to go behind Grossard … hooks the waist … AND TAKES GROSSARD UP AND OVER WITH A RELEASE GERMAN SUPLEX! Danny Danger is up and he is shuffling in the ring.”
JIVE: “I don’t think Danger realizes that his dancing was part of the reason he came out on the short end of the stick last episode against Cane.”
GHEORGHE: “Grossard back to his feet as Danger comes over to him .. and MWG takes his leg and brings Danger to the mat! MWG now STRADDLING Danger … and he is walloping him in the head with some open hand slaps!”
JIVE: “Only a true sissy does that!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG stops for a second to rub Danger’s chest with his hands .. AND DANGER QUICK TO PUSH MWG OFF HIM! Danny Danger rolls to the corner and gets to his feet as MWG stays on his knees and smiles devilishly at him! Danny Danger not sure how to react … and he’s telling the referee to tell MWG to stop!”
JIVE: “What a cry baby!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now on his feet and they meet up in the corner … Danger reverses the situation and tosses MWG into the corner … and now he’s bombarding the torso of MWG with some swift kicks. Danger has MWG by the hair … and HE TOSSES HIM ACROSS THE RING!”
JIVE: “I don’t think Danny Danger wants to have skin to skin contact with MWG.”
GHEORGHE: “Madonna Wayne Grossard is back up .. and he is beckoning Danger to come to him! Danny Danger slowly walking over to Grossard … AND GROSSARD WITH A KICK TO THE STOMACH!! Grossard puts Danger’s head between his legs …. AND NOW HE RUBS UP AND DOWN DANGER’s BACK! Danger reacts by back body dropping MWG! Danger turns around … AND HE HITS MWG WITH A DROPKICK AS GROSSARD WAS GETTING TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “MWG is great with the mind games … if he is playing mind games, that is! But I’m not sure that will work against Peter File and Beau Michaels at the pay per view.”
GHEORGHE: “Danger trying to keep his distance now … he slowly approaches MWG as he’s on his knees …. AND MWG WITH A SHOT TO THE MIDSECTION …. AND HE PULLS DANGER’s BODY INTO HIS FACE!! THE CROTCH OF DANNY DANGER IS IN MWG’s FACE AND DANGER HAS A LOOK OF PURE TERROR ON HIS FACE AS HE CLUBS MWG IN THE BACK WITH A FOREARM!”
JIVE: “I am not even going to say what I think MWG was doing!”
GHEORGHE: “Danger now runs to the other side of the ring …. Off the ropes …. He comes back ….. RUNNING KNEE LIFT …. BUT GROSSARD CATCHES THE KNEE AND CLIPS HIM TO THE MAT! MWG now against the ropes and he drops the leg on Danger’s throat! AND NOW MWG IS BITING DANNY DANGER’s FOREHEAD! The referee is quick to interject himself to tell Grossard to stop!”
JIVE: “If I were the ref, I’d back off … he doesn’t know if MWG has a fetish for men in uniforms or not!”
GHEORGHE: “Grossard stops biting Danger .. and he picks him up. Grossard with a knee to the midsection as he goes against the ropes … and he comes off and nails Danny Danger with a swinging neckbreaker! GROSSARD NOW COVERS DANGER BY LYING ON TOP OF HIM FACE TO FACE!!! ONE ….. TWO ……. KICKOUT BY DANGER! Danger rolls out from underneath Grossard, and is now lying on his stomach near the ropes.. MWG up … AND HE JUMPS ON TOP OF DANGER’s BACK … AND HE IS SLAPPING DANNY DANGER’s ASS!!”
JIVE: “Grossard knows how to inflict pain .. spiked w/ pleasure!”
GHEORGHE: “Danny Danger drapes his arm on the ropes and the referee is now telling MWG that he needs to get off of Danger. MWG pouts at the referee as he gets off … AND HE GIVES DANGER ONE LAST SMACK ON THE ASS!”
JIVE: “It was a good luck smack.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG now over to the ropes … AND HE IS WINKING AT SOME GUYS IN THE FRONT ROW WHO ARE WEARING UNIVERSITY OF ILLINOIS FOOTBALL JERSEYs!”
JIVE: “LOOK ONE IS WINKING BACK!”
GHEORGHE: “He’s going to have hell to pay when they see the replay!”
JIVE: “Or maybe not. You don’t know what happens when they all get drunk at frat parties.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG turns around …. AND DANNY DANGER WITH A FLYING CROSS BODY THAT SENDS BOTH MEN OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Both men hit the arena floor and the referee is starting his count!”
JIVE: “MWG let his love of football players take his attention away from his opponent.”
GHEORGHE: “Danny Danger takes MWG … AND HE IRISH WHIPS HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL ….. DANGER COMES IN AFTERWARDS AND CLOTHESLINES MWG OVER THE GUARDRAIL INTO THE FANS!”
JIVE: “Oh god.”
GHEORGHE: “The fans now toss MWG RIGHT BACK OVER!”
JIVE: “Nobody wants to be near MWG tonight for some reason.”
GHEORGHE: “Danger now rolls MWG back into the ring .. and he rolls in. Danger picks up Grossard …. He irish whips him into the corner …. BUT MWG REVERSES AND DANGER GOES BACKFIRST INTO THE CORNER!!! GROSSARD CHARGES IN AND NAILS DANGER IN THE HEAD WITH A KNEE! Now … now …. OH MY GOD……. MADONNA WAYNE GROSSARD GRABBED DANGER’s HEAD AND NOW HE IS RUBBING HIS CROTCH IN THE FACE OF DANNY DANGER!”
JIVE: “Do you know how many people would die to be in Danny Danger’s position right now?”
GHEORGHE: “The referee now calling on MWG to stop … and Grossard ELBOWS DANGER IN THE HEAD. Now what is he doing???”
JIVE: “MWG is trying to get Danger’s arms wrapped up in the ropes … AND HE SUCCEEDS!”
GHEORGHE: “Danny Danger is HELPLESS as his arms are stuck in between the ropes …. AND NOW MWG IS STARTING TO TAKE HIS TIGHTS DOWN!!!”
JIVE: “Peter File has his Fistfull of Seamen … MWG is going to give Danny Danger a mouthful!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG starts to take his tights down, but the referee warns him that he’ll be disqualified if he does so! MWG curses at the referee and instead sends another knee into the face of Danger before he unties him from the ropes!”
JIVE: “The referee was trying to keep him ready for the pay per view..”
GHEORGHE: “I doubt that’s the reason he told him to stop.”
JIVE: “Well, either way … now we have something to look forward to at the pay per view!”
GHEORGHE: “Somehow .. I don’t agree with you.”
JIVE: “Although now that I think about it … maybe I should take that match off.. you know, my mother always said that I shouldn’t watch porn … that that’s the devil’s working…”
GHEORGHE: “Grossard standing over Danger now … AND HE IS SWIVELLING HIS HIPS BACK AND FORTH!! Madonna Wayne Grossard is signaling that he is going to end this match!”
JIVE: “Good..”
GHEORGHE: “MWG brings Danny Danger to his feet ….. AND HE KICKS HIM IN THE GROIN … Danger is doubled over ….. DISAPPEAR HERE DDT!!!! MWG nailed his implant DDT ….. AND NOW HE SITS ON THE FACE OF DANNY DANGER AND TELLS THE REFEREE TO COUNT…… ONE …………… TWO …………… THREE!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winner of the match by … uh, pinfall ……. MADONNA WAYNE GROSSARD!”
JIVE: “What a victory by MWG.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG is celebrating in the ring as the referee rolls Danny Danger to the outside ….. WAIT A MINUTE!!! HERE COMES BEAU MICHAELS RUNNING DOWN THE RAMPWAY!!!”
JIVE: “King of the Club Kids is in the building!”
GHEORGHE: “Michaels slides under the ropes ….. and he is waiting for MWG to turn around ……. MWG turns around ……”
(SFX: Crowd groans)
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD BEAU MICHAELS HAS JUST PULLED MWG IN FOR A KISS!!!! AND NOW MWG’s HANDS ARE GRABBING BEAU MICHAELS ASS!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!”
JIVE: “I don’t know, but I feel like its time to go to a commercial … either that, or I’m going to need about four or five more Poland Spring bottles..”
GHEORGHE: “MWG releases Michaels from his grip …. And Michaels now runs out of the ring and back up the rampway! MWG licks his lips! Ladies and gentlemen we gotta take a commercial break …..”
