(FADEIN: Backstage as we see Jason Tripp standing backstage with a competitor in tonight’s main event, Alex Borden. Borden’s lockerroom door is right behind them.)
TRIPP: “I'm here with Alex Borden, a man who has constantly been impressing management and the fans. Alex, we know you're from Cleveland, Ohio, but could you shed some more light on your athletic background.”
BORDEN: “Thank you, Jason. I was trained for several years by the late "Irish Hammer" Joe Miller, a former Northeastern Conference Heavyweight Boxing Champion and good, personal friend of mine. He was like a father to me, and if it weren't for him, I wouldn't be wrestling the World Heavyweight Champion today. After he passed away I received three years of formal training in North American wrestling technique.”
TRIPP: “And speaking of the World Heavyweight Champion, how are you feeling coming into the main event?”
BORDEN: “How am I feeling? Confident, secure, focused. But not at all afraid. I've never feared a fight in my life, and this one is no different. I know Larry Tact is a skilled combatant who has some serious moves, but I fully intend on beating him. He won't stop me. Not tonight, not any night.”
TRIPP: “You've been catching a lot of criticism from the locker room, management and the fans alike about your unusual lack of TV promos, including Larry Tact himself. Why do you seem to shy away from the cameras?”
BORDEN: “Well thats why were here now having this interview, isn't it? Look, I make no apologies about my marketability. I'm confident that my performance in the ring will speak for itself.”
TRIPP: “Fair enough. A lot of people have been wondering, myself included, about your controversial signature submission maneuver, The Choke Out. The name explains it all, were did you learn it?”
BORDEN: “Yeah, the Choke Out is a—”
(From behind them the door to Alex Borden's dressing room opens and his road manager, Greg Birel, steps in front Alex, blocking the camera.)
BIREL: “Uh, excuse me, but this interview wasn't cleared with me.”
TRIPP: “Greg! I just thought I'd give Mr. Borden some screen time on the night of his big match-up.”
BIREL: “Listen to me, Tripp, I'm his freakin' manager and any business decisions or interviews go through me, understand? I could have your job!”
TRIPP: “Yeah alright, another time then, Alex. I'm Jason Tripp, back to you guys at ringside.”
(Tripp walks away disappointed as Birel slams Borden’s lockerroom door shut. CUTTO: Announce table.)
JIVE: “Greg Birel wasn’t too happy to see Tripp out there trying to glean information out of Borden!”
GHEORGHE: “Glean information? What are you talking about?”
JIVE: “Tripp is a rat. He’d do anything to uncover someone’s weaknesses.”
GHEORGHE: “Tripp is one of the most honest men in New ERA, now if we want to talk about rats, Nick, let’s talk about you…”
JIVE: “I’m as innocent as a newborn.”
GHEORGHE: “What about that ring of prostit..”
JIVE: “DON’T WE HAVE A MATCH TO CALL????”
GHEORGHE: “Indeed we do .. after that last match between Madonna Wayne Grossard and Danny Danger, we can hope for something a little more …. TAME from El Arco Iris and Travis Smith!”
JIVE: “Anything is better than watching MWG grope Beau Michaels!”
GHEORGHE: “And yet there’s a whole PPV match waiting in the wings.”
JIVE: “Carl! Do you thing!”
(CUTTO: Rampway as the lineup is on the big screens.)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit…. Introducing first….”
(CUEUP: 'Tunak Tunak Tun' by Daler Mehndi as the lights go down and different colored strobe lights scan the crowd. El Arco Iris comes running from the back and gives as many people hugs as he can while walking down the rampway.)
JACOBS: “From the OTHER SIDE OF THE RAINBOW …. He stands five foot six and weighs 190 pounds …….. EL ARCO IRIS!”
JIVE: “You gotta be on drugs to be as happy as he always is…”
JACOBS: “And his opponent…”
(CUEUP: ‘Forever’ by Kid Rock. Smoke fills the entrance gate as silver glitter falls from the rafters and flames run down the entrance way. Travis Smith comes out with a chain mesh headdress, black shades, and a huge silver cross around his neck. He enters the ring and begins to bad mouth the fans..)
JACOBS: “From Cincinnati, Ohio … he stands five foot seven and weighs 175 pounds …… ‘TOO SWEET’ TRAVIS SMITH!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
GHEORGHE: “Wait a minute …”
(From behind the curtain, John Doe begins to walk down the rampway. Smith sees him, turns to him and starts yelling at him.)
JIVE: “What the hell is he doing walking down here?”
(Doe turns the corner, smiling at Smith the entire time as he takes a seat next to Gheorghe and puts on a headset.)
JIVE: “Oh God, not again.”
DOE: “Hiya, Nick!”
GHEORGHE: “Welcome back!”
DOE: “I’m only here to call this match, Tom. Need some advance scouting on my opponent.”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith does not seem happy to see you down here … IRIS BEHIND HIM AND ROLLS HIM UP AS HE WAS JAWING AT DOE ….. ONE …. TW—But Smith kicks out.”
DOE: “Oops. Did I just almost cause him to lose?”
JIVE: “You would like that! You cheat!”
GHEORGHE: “Smith now back up quickly to his feet as is Iris… AND SMITH CLOTHESLINES IRIS DOWN TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “See how hard Iris’ head hit the mat! That’s going to be you, Doe!”
DOE: “That’s going to be you in a second if you don’t stop running your mouth.”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith now picking up El Arco Iris … and he sends knee shots to the midsection of Iris …. Smith now irish whipping him into the corner … he comes in after him …. AND TRIES TO TAKE HIS HEAD OFF WITH ANOTHER CLOTHESLINE! Iris is slumped in the corner ….. Smith placing El Arco Iris on the top rope …… NO! Iris is blocking it.. Iris with some quick judo kicks to the side of Smith …. EL ARCO IRIS TAKES TOO SWEET TO THE MAT WITH A WELL PLACED SAVATE KICK!”
DOE: “That’s it .. soften him up.”
JIVE: “You’d LOVE that wouldn’t you?”
GHEORGHE: “Iris … IRIS HOPS ONTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE!!! TRAVIS SMITH GETTING TO HIS FEET …….. MOONSAULT BODY BLOCK BY EL ARCO IRIS!!! The ref goes down for the cover …. ONE ……. TWO ….. KICKOUT BY SMITH! Iris almost pulled that one right out from underneath Smith.”
JIVE: “Smith is much more intelligent than most of the other guys on our roster … I’m sure he knew all along that was coming.”
DOE: “Why would he let it happen then?”
JIVE: “To let Iris get a false sense of security? Uh duh!”
GHEORGHE: “Iris with Smith now … he sends him into the ropes … Smith comes back, and hops over Iris who dropped to the mat! Smith against the opposite ropes … and Iris leap frogs over him!!! Smith now against the ropes again, as Iris turns around …. SMITH WITH A CLOTHESLIN… NO!! IRIS WITH A CRUCIFIX PINNING COMBINATION!!! ONE …………. TWO ……….. KICKOUT BY SMITH!”
DOE: “Damn.”
JIVE: “Oh please, you know you’re trying to memorize everything Iris is doing to copy him … that’s the only way you’ll get the victory over Smith is if you cheat and do what others are doing.”
DOE: “What the hell are you talking about?”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris is up on his feet … and he is waving to the crowd!”
JIVE: “Aw, don’t make me sick.”
GHEORGHE: “Iris with the head of Travis Smith … he sets him up for a piledriver …. No! Smith is blocking it… Smith with a back body drop that sends Iris to the mat. ‘Too Sweet’ now with Iris as he is getting to his feet .. NAILING HIM IN THE HEAD WITH SOME VICIOUS RIGHT HANDS! The referee steps in telling him to make sure that he opens that fist …. Travis Smith with a European uppercut that sends El Arco Iris into the ropes! AND IRIS JUST GOT CAUGHT IN THE ROPES!!”
JIVE: “Ha! He was trying to rest on the ropes, and his arms slipped right in!”
DOE: “If only I could get it so your neck would slip through those ropes..”
GHEORGHE: “TRAVIS SMITH TAKING FULL ADVANTAGE OF THIS AS HE IS KICKING EL ARCO IRIS IN THE MID SECTION!! Smith not heeding the referee’s warning to stop!! Too Sweet finally backs off..”
JIVE: “Oh no he doesn’t…”
GHEORGHE: “SMITH AGAINST THE OPPOSITE ROPES …. HE COMES IN AND DROPKICKS EL ARCO IRIS!! IRIS FLIPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND NOW HE IS STUCK IN THE ROPES HANGING FROM THEM!!!”
DOE: “That looks like it hurts!”
GHEORGHE: “EL ARCO IRIS IS DESPERATELY TRYING TO GET HIS FEET ON THE APRON!! His shoulders HAVE to be taking a lot of punishment from hanging there!”
JIVE: “Smith is a genius!”
DOE: “He’s a stiff.”
JIVE: “How would you know, you haven’t seen a stiff since you were thirteen.”
DOE: “I saw one last night while I was stiffing your mom.”
JIVE: “EWWW… my mom is 64!”
DOE: “I like da women with the white hurr, white hurr.”
JIVE: “Gross.”
GHEORGHE: “Smith backs up as Iris has one foot on the apron …… TRAVIS SMITH CHARGES AT IRIS AND BASEBALL SLDES RIGHT INTO HIS MIDSECTION! OH MY LORD! The impact of the baseball slide FREED Iris’ arms from the ropes ….. AND SENT HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL!”
JIVE: “Iris is done…. Woot.”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith is now walking around the ring with a huge smile on his face … AND HE’s walking over to the ropes near us!”
JIVE: “YEA GIVE HIM HELL!”
(Doe glances at Jive, who takes a swig of water, and starts whistling after.)
DOE: “He doesn’t want a piece of me now … I’ll get him in the leather strap match .. don’t even worry about it.”
GHEORGHE: “TRAVIS SMITH JUST SPAT AT JOHN DOE ….. BUT HE HIT NICK JIVE INSTEAD!”
JIVE: “ARGH!”
DOE: “I hope his wrestling is better than his aim.”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith now back and he exits the ring to get Iris. He brings El Arco Iris up …. AND HE DRIVES IRIS’ BACK INTO THE RING APRON! Smith now DRIVES IT AGAIN INTO THE APRON! El Arco Iris walks away holding his back ….. TRAVIS SMITH COMES FLYING FROM BEHIND …. BUT IRIS SIDE STEPS HIM AND SMITH GOES KNEE FIRST INTO THE STEEL RING STEPS!”
DOE: “Hurt knee. Check.”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris now with Smith … AND HE HIPTOSSES HIM TO THE FLOOR!”
JIVE: “Iris’ back is hurting him .. he’s holding on to it.”
DOE: “The ref is trying to get them back into the ring.”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris rolls into the ring, and then rolls back out to break up the count … and now he rolls Travis Smith into the ring! El Arco Iris holds on to the top rope …. AND CATAPULTS HIMSELF BACK IN W/ A FROG SPLASH!!!! ONE …………….. TWO ………… THREE.......”
JIVE: “SMITH GOT OUT!”
DOE: “Argh.”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris trying to grab the legs of Smith … BUT SMITH KICKS HIM IN THE CHEST! Travis Smith with another kick and El Arco Iris has to stop for some air! Smith now back up …. HE LOCKS IRIS’ HEAD FOR A DDT!!! BUT IRIS GRABS THE ROPES TO BLOCK!!! IRIS LOCKING THE WAIST OF TOO SWEET …… NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!!”
JIVE: “But his back gave out so he couldn’t hold for the bridge!”
GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris holding his back as he’s on his feet again .. Travis Smith is also getting to his feet … BOT H MEN MEET IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!! TRAVIS SMITH DUCKS UNDER AN IRIS LEG KICK, AND ROLLS HIM UP!!! ONE …… TWO …… KICKOUT!”
DOE: “He’s not going to get away that easy!”
GHEORGHE: “Iris kicks out …. And Smith comes at him …. IRIS WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!!! ONE ……. TWO ……… KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “Shouldn’t you say Doe is the one w/ the small package?”
DOE: “Hey …”
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD! John Doe has just pushed Nick Jive out of his seat to the ground!! AND NOW HE IS TAKING HIS CHAIR!”
DOE: “Wait, why is his chair more padded and comfortable?”
GHEORGHE: “It’s in his contract.”
JIVE: “GIVE ME BACK MY CHAIR!”
DOE: “Don’t think so, motor mouth.”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith now takes Iris by the head …. AND HE TOSSES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!”
JIVE: “NO HE HELD ON!”
GHEORGHE: “Travis Smith is already walking over towards us … AND HE DOESN’T SEE AS EL ARCO IRIS FLIPS HIMSELF BACK INTO THE RING!! THE FANS ARE ON THEIR FEET AS SMITH IS NOW YELLING OBSCENITIES AT JOHN DOE!”
DOE: “Bye, bye Travisssss..”
GHEORGHE: “Doe now waving at Travis Smith as the fans get even louder as El Arco IRIS IS SIGNALLING FOR THE HAPPY DANCE!!!! Travis Smith looks confused as he turns ……………. HAPPY DANCE!! EL ARCO IRIS NAILS THE HAPPY DANCE AND COVERS TRAVIS SMITH!!! ONE ……………….. TWO …………………. THREE!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings)
JIVE: “You cost him the match, Doe!”
JACOBS: “The winner of this match …… EL ARCO IRIS!”
DOE: “How the hell did I do that?”
JIVE: “If you weren’t here, he would’ve been more focused on Iris!”
DOE: “Then I guess my job here is done, boys. I’ll see you later … Have fun, NICK.”
GHEORGHE: “It was a pleasure as always!”
(Doe takes off the headphones and leaves the announce table.)
GHEORGHE: “JOHN DOE IS WALKING UP THE STAIRS TO GET INTO THE RING!!!”
JIVE: “Great now he has to add insult to injury?!”
GHEORGHE: “John Doe is standing over the body of Too Sweet …. AND NOW HE SHAKES A FINGER IN SMITH’s UNCONCIOUS FACE!! JOHN DOE IS TELLING SMITH NOT TO MESS WITH HIM!!”
JIVE: “Oh what a big man he is … beating up color commentary men!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, El Arco Iris winning a hard fought match here tonight .. we got to take a break … but when we come back ….. ‘Gentleman’ JONATHAN MARX will take on PETER FILE!!!!”
JIVE: “Let’s hope Michaels stays away from ringside this time .. we don’t need anymore M4M action tonight!”
