(FADEIN: Marcus LaRoque’s office again. Chaos steps through the door, walks up to the desk and tosses a black duffle bag on the table.)
CHAOS: “Here's your money.”
(With an eager smile LaRoque opens the bag and begins counting the cash. Chaos folds his arms and waits.)
LaROQUE: “There's twenty thousand dollars here. The fine was ten... are you trying to bribe me.”
(Chaos smiles)
CHAOS: “No... you’re cheaper then that. Consider that other ten a down payment.”
LaROQUE: “For what?”
CHAOS: “For next time.”
(Chaos turns and leaves LaRoque’s lockerroom, leaving him stunned. CUTTO: Ringside with Nick Jive and Tom Gheorghe.)
GHEORGHE: “Chaos paid in advance for the next time he gets his hands on either Suicide or that man in white!”
JIVE: “Well, with Marceau giving it her blessing, Chaos is smarter than he looks by paying in advance!”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, we got a match that has been in the waiting for months now. Jonathan Marx and Peter File were teammates all through the Battle Bowl Mania tournament, and they faced off against Larry Tact and El Arco Iris at the title-crowning episode of RAUCOUS in Greensboro in a battle royal, where Tact eliminated Jonathan Marx to become the first ever New ERA World Heavyweight Champion!”
JIVE: “Since then Tact and Iris have fought, for the title even, but Marx and File never had the chance.”
GHEORGHE: “Tonight that changes as we bring you PETER FILE versus JONATHAN MARX! Let’s head to ringside!”
(CUTTO: Big screens as the lineup for the match appears. CUTTO: Carl Jacobs in the ring.)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit …. Introducing first….”
(CUEUP: 'Sigur 1 (Vaka)' by Sigur Ros. Peter File comes from behind the curtain with Lilly … File is walking a little … tenderly.)
GHEORGHE: “What is up with Peter File? He doesn’t look to comfortable..”
JACOBS: “Being led to the ring by his manager … from New Haven, Connecticut ….. PETER FILE!”
(CUEUP: ‘the Touch’ by Stan Bush. Jonathan Marx comes from behind the curtain and begins walking down to the ring.)
JACOBS: “And his opponent … hailing from PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY … he stands six foot two and weighs 215 pounds …. ‘GENTLEMAN’ JONATHAN MARX!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “Marx is giving File the eye as Peter is really having problems walking around the ring … and now they lock up …. Marx gets the advantage and rings the arm of File … File holding onto the arm … FILE WITH A SWINGING LEFT, BUT MARX DUCKS …. PICKS UP FILE AND NAILS AN ATOMIC DROP!”
JIVE: “File just yelped out in pain!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File holding on to his bottom now as he is trying to roll up into a ball … but Jonathan Marx comes in at him.. Marx with some kicks to the head.. Marx now picking up Peter File … irish whips him into the ropes ……. SPINE BUSTER BACK TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “What the hell is wrong w/ Peter File?”
GHEORGHE: “I have no clue, Nick .. but Marx quick to get on his knees … and now he places his feet at the shoulders … AND MARX IS TRYING TO PULL THE ARM OUT OF THE SOCKET!”
JIVE: “File can’t kick out if he has a dislocated shoulder.”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx just yanking on the arm of Peter File … but to no avail as File will not give up. ‘the Gentleman’ seeing that this won’t work now gets to his feet .. Jonathan Marx now turns … he turns Peter File on his side! Jonathan Marx back to the ropes …. COMES IN … BASEBALL SLIDES RIGHT INTO THE BACKSIDE OF PETER FILE AND FILE LOOKS ALMOST IN TEARS!”
JIVE: “The referee is concerned about File, but he says he wants to continue! What a trooper!”
GHEORGHE: “File seems like one of those guys who gets his kicks from pain.”
JIVE: “Please, you know you worship the man.”
GHEORGHE: “The ref making Marx give File some room … File is in the corner … here comes Marx now … AND FILE KICKS HIM IN THE STOMACH!”
JIVE: “But File hurt himself, too!”
GHEORGHE: “That is true! File bends over ….. AND MARX GRABS HIM … GRABS THE ARM …. PUMP HANDLE SLAM ONTO THE MAT!!! ONE ……. TW—NO! Peter File was quick to kick out.”
JIVE: “With his big Pole on a Pole match coming up at the pay per view, I’m not so sure he should be taking this kind of punishment, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “Lilly is now on the ring .. and she is trying to get the referee’s attention!”
JIVE: “Gotta love hot sixtee.. err eighteen year olds.”
GHEORGHE: “The referee turns to look at her … AND SHE FAINTS!”
JIVE: “OH MY SHE’s NARCOLEPTIC!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee rushing over to her as she’s dangling on the edge of the apron …. And now Jonathan Marx is over to get the ref’s attention back to the match ….”
JIVE: “LILLY JUST FELL FROM THE APRON ….. BUT HER FEET ARE STUCK ON THE BOTTOM ROPE AND HER DRESS JUST WENT UP OVER HER HEAD!”
CROWD: “PU-TANG! PU-TANG!”
JIVE: “SHE’s GOING COMMANDO!”
GHEORGHE: “Holy Mother of God! Jonathan Marx, who was walking to get the ref’s attention, is now staring, as is every other straight male in attendance, at Lilly, who is upside down ….”
JIVE: “She’s making me rightside up..”
GHEORGHE: “PETER FILE COMING FROM BEHIND MARX NOW …… HE KICKS HIM IN THE BACK OF THE KNEE … FILE GRABS MARX’s HEAD …. INVERTED DDT!!!”
JIVE: “Wait! File now goes over to Lilly … and HE UNHOOKS HER FOOT!! Lilly just went crashing to the floor!! AWWWW … the dress fell back down!”
CROWD: “WE WANT MORE! WE WANT MORE!”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File now with Marx …. HOOKS THE ARMS … GOES FOR A UNDERHOOK BUTTERFLY SUPLEX … BUT HE CAN’T LIFT MARX!! Peter File holding on to his backside again …”
JIVE: “What if he has like hemorrhoids or something?!?!”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t think he’d be wrestling …”
JIVE: “So you would know how bad hemorrhoids hurt then! A-HA!”
GHEORGHE: “You are an idiot.”
JIVE: “I know.”
GHEORGHE: “Peter File walking around trying to straighten himself up … AND HERE COMES JONATHAN MARX … Marx with a european uppercut!! ANOTHER!! A THIRD ONE THAT KNOCKS PETER FILE INTO THE CORNER! Jonathan Marx is setting Peter File up on the second turnbuckle!!!”
JIVE: “I can already hear the hemorrhoids popping.”
GHEORGHE: “Oh stop it, he doesn’t have hemorrhoids!”
JIVE: “You don’t know that!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx hooks the arms ….. SUPLEXES PETER FILE OFF THE SECOND TURNBUCKLE!! Jonathan Marx gets to his feet …. And now he bounces off the ropes … AND DROPS THE ELBOW!”
JIVE: “Poor Lilly is still unconscious … perhaps I should go help her .. uh, wake up.”
GHEORGHE: “And that’s called rape.”
JIVE: “WHAT ARE YOU SUGGESTING I WOULD DO!?!? I’m appalled!”
GHEORGHE: “Jonathan Marx now picking up Peter File …. He sends him into the ropes ………. File comes back … AND MARX HITS A PICTURE PERFECT BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!!!!”
JIVE: “This is unfair. File was never ready to get started!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx now stalking File as he gets to his feet ….. AND MARX CLIPS FILE FROM BEHIND WITH A SHOULDER TO THE KNEE!!! JONATHAN MARX IS CALLING FOR THE MARXISM!!”
JIVE: “Ugh! Hurry up and put him out of his misery, please!”
GHEORGHE: “Marx hooks it ……. THE REFEREE IS ASKING FILE IF HE WANTS TO SUBMIT …… AND PETER FILE SUBMITS TO THE MARXISM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!!! JONATHAN MARX HAS WON THIS MATCH!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match via submission …….. GENTLEMAN ….. JONATHAN MARX!”
JIVE: “Poor File!”
GHEORGHE: “We’ve got to take a commercial break .. but when we come back … Trevor Cane and Troy Douglas will take each other to the limits in a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH!”
(CUTTO: Backstage to a lockerroom. Inside is ‘King of the Club Kids’ Beau Michaels, who is sitting on top of a young looking male giving him a backrub. There are towels covering their nakedness. On the side of the chair lies the “18+” shirt with very small writing that’s barely readable which says “in three months”.)
MICHAELS: “Ooo.. I have the perfect thing to massage those inner thigh muscles … its hard … its blue … and it vibrates just right. Let me get … it…. DAMNIT.”
MALE: “What is the matter?”
MICHAELS: “I forgot to take it out of Sweetie Petie before his match!!!”
MALE: “You mean …”
MICHAELS: “Yea, the damn thing was up his ass the entire time!”
(All of a sudden ‘the Phenom’ Shawn Hart busts into the room, but stops short when he sees whats going on.)
HART: “Uh …. Um …. Uh…. Sorry. I, I, thought that this was El Arco Iris’ dressing room.”
MICHAELS: “It isn’t… but I’ve got a rainbow you can see…”
(Hart backs out of the room, and shuts the door, not uttering a word.)
MALE: “I thought he retired?”
MICHAELS: “You know wrestlers .. they never REALLY retire.”
(Michaels then ahh’s as he finds his trusty backup …. A pink and white soft jelly … pole. FADETO: Commercial for New ERA merchandise.)
