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PRESENTS ....

TAPED: Sep. 28, 2004
AIRED: Oct. 27, 2004
EPISODE: RAUCOUS 15, Chapter 5

(FADEIN: Backstage somewhere. Chaos is walking from his dressing room and he catches a glimpse of a white robe flowing around the corner. He runs to the corner and turns, crashing into ANTAEUS who is standing there, with his white top hat now tilted. ANTAEUS fixes his top hat and cocks his head at Chaos, who is visibly fuming.)

CHAOS: “You may have thought that what you’ve done the past few matches was cute, but if I were you, I would make sure that you stay out of tonight’s match.”

ANTAEUS: “I was doing you a favor.”

CHAOS: “Yea, right. Don’t make a mistake tonight, ANTAEUS. I’m warning you right now. You interfere in MY World Title shot and I will make you pay for many years down the road.”

ANTAEUS: “I have done you many favors.”

CHAOS: “JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY.”

(Chaos turns and heads back around the corner. A smile slowly forms on ANTAEUS’ face. CUTTO: Ringside.)

JIVE: “Chaos doesn’t want ANTAEUS to get involved in tonight’s match… but I’m not sure that ANTAEUS really took his threat seriously.”

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS has caused problems for Rabesque many times, and he hasn’t thought twice about intervening where he shouldn’t be. But I doubt that he really wants to get on Chaos’ bad side. I don’t think I know anyone who really wants to get on the bad side of Chaos.”

JIVE: “Well in just a few moments ANTAEUS is going to mop the floor with El Arco Iris … and I think that will send a message to Chaos.. that is … if Chaos were a puppy loving commie!”

GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris might not use the verbal assaults that Chaos does, but that doesn’t mean that he is any less of a tough competitor. ANTAEUS is going to have his hands full here tonight.”

JIVE: “Wait… what is going on?”


At Home w/ DREDD

(The lights in the building dim a bit and the big screens flicker to life. On the big screen, the camera’s catch a big giant DREDD banner as John Doe and Jonathan Marx are sitting on a couch, Brandon Jacobs behind a desk. John has a hand full of darts in his hand as he pelts them at a picture of Jean Rabesque.  John smiles each time he hits it.)

MARX: “When, is your match John?”

DOE: “Soon.”

JACOBS: “How soon.”

DOE: “Soon enough.”

(Marx smirks.)

JACOBS: “John you being a smart ass is not helping our efforts to eliminate Jean Rabesque.” 

DOE: “I am working on taking out Rabesque just as much as you two are.”

(Doe chucks another dart at the picture.)

MARX: “How is that dear girl doing? The one I hit by mistake. Jane?”

DOE: “I think she is still in the hospital, got re-admitted to Black Water. Poor gal, she doesn’t remember a thing, denies that her name is Jane.”

JACOBS: “That is weird. So what are your plans for tonight gentlemen?”

MARX: “Well, I plan on a win Brandon .”

DOE: “Me too! I am gonna beat him senseless! I’m going to take him to school!”

(A knock on the door is heard as Jacobs and Marx grimace from the bad pun Doe made. He chucks one more dart at the picture.)

DOE: “Yeah, come in.”

MARX: “What if that was the owner!”

DOE: “I would have said… ‘Come on in…. bitch.’”

MARX: “Bitch?” 

DOE: “Yeah, you know…”

MARX: “I am not following.”

DOE: “It’s a swear word! God damn it Jon.”

MARX: “You would swear at a lady??!” 

(The door opens at Karla Starr enters the room. Doe cocks an eyebrow.)

DOE: “Who’s this?”

STARR: “Hello, I am your new member.” 

MARX: “Ah, YES! John and Brandon, I would like you to meet Karla, newest member of DREDD!”

DOE: “Who let her in!? Hell, I was never told anything.” 

JACOBS: “I thought you got the memo, on your desk?”

DOE: “I don’t have a desk.”

JACOBS: “Exactly.” 

(Marx laughs as he invites Karla to sit.)

STARR: “Trust me John I am totally with you on this one.  I’ll do anything to get rid of that jerk Rabesque.”

DOE: “Sounds great.” 

MARX: “Well John you’re up after this next match…”

DOE: “You know you really have to run things past me Jon, before we add people to this team.” 

MARX: “I know!” 

(Doe begins to walk out the door, grabbing the keys so he can drive to the school.)

DOE: “We really need to work on our communication.”

MARX: (yelling before John shuts the door) “John don’t forget we need to talk to Marceau after your match.”

(Doe sticks out his hand through he door giving Marx the middle finger. The door shuts.)

JACOBS: “That means ‘I understand,’ Jon.” 

MARX: “Oh…..”

(Starr and Jacobs chuckle as the big screens fade out and the lights go back on in the arena. The fans begin to boo.)

GHEORGHE: “KARLA STARR HAS JOINED DREDD!”

JIVE: “The list of people who want to take out Jean Rabesque is growing by the minute, Tom! Adding Karla Starr to the group is a major coup! I can’t believe it! And I bet one of the men in this match coming up is just as excited … that being ANTAEUS!”

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS and El Arco Iris is coming up next … and I just can’t believe it, Nick … Karla Starr seems to have accepted the invitation that Marx offered her earlier this evening!”

JIVE: “This is great!”

GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s head down to ringside … ANTAEUS will be taking on El Arco Iris right here … right now … as RAUCOUS is coming to you LIVE from San Diego, California!”


ANTAEUS vs. El Arco Iris

(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring. He looks around before bringing the microphone up to his mouth.)

JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a THIRTY MINUTE TIME LIMIT! Introducing first ….”

(CUEUP: ‘Tunak Tunak Tun’ by Daler Mendhi. The lights in the arena go down as rainbow strobe lights cover the crowd, which gives an incredible pop as El Arco Iris comes through the curtain.)

JACOBS: “He stands five foot six and weighs 190 pounds ….. hailing from the end of the rainbow ……. He is EL ARCO IRIS!”

(Iris runs down the rampway and slaps as many hands as possible. He flips into the ring and gets on the top rope as the fans shower him with love.)

JIVE: “This makes me sick. How can people like such a fruitcake!”

GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris stands for everything that is right in the world. He is a beacon of hope when you have people like DREDD, like The Phantom Republican, and especially people like ANTAEUS running around!”

JACOBS: “And his opponent…”

(The crowd begins to boo as they await ANTAEUS’ arrival. The curtains part and the tip of a cane can be seen. The crowd’s noise intensifies as ANTAEUS steps through the curtain, still wearing his top hat, his tuxedo, and his mask.)

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS isn’t even in his wrestling attire!”

JIVE: “HOW GREAT IS THIS! ANTAEUS IS GOING TO BEAT IRIS IN STREET CLOTHES!”

JACOBS: “His whereabouts are unknown …. He stands six feet three inches tall …. He is ANTAEUS!”

(SFX: Bell rings.)

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS slowly getting into the ring … and now he is beckoning Iris to come over to him!”

JIVE: “YES! Iris is falling into his trap.”

GHEORGHE: “Wait a minute …. ANTAEUS has just put his arm around El Arco Iris! What the hell is going on here?”

JIVE: “Now ANTAEUS is asking for the microphone!”

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS has the microphone in his hand ……. AND NOW ANTAEUS AND EL ARCO IRIS ARE HUGGING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!”

ANTAEUS: “I bear you no ill will, for there is only one man whom I wish to deal pain to.”

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS HAS JUST DROPPED THE MICROPHONE AND IS LEAVING THE RING!”

JIVE: “WHAT!!!”

GHEORGHE: “El Arco Iris looks stunned as he is standing in the ring watching as ANTAEUS is walking back up the rampway … and the referee is counting …. ANTAEUS gets to the top of the rampway … AND HE SALUTES THE RING! ANTAEUS JUST WALKED THROUGH THE CURTAINS!”

REF: “SEVEN ……… EIGHT ……….”

JIVE: “GET BACK DOWN HERE! Don’t let this idiot beat you by count out!!”

GHEORGHE: “ANTAEUS said he wished Iris no ill will…”

REF: “NINE ………. TEN!!!”

(SFX: Bell rings.)

JACOBS: “The winner of this match …….. due to COUNT OUT …………. EL ARCO IRIS!”

(The crowd pops huge.)

JIVE: “This is horse shit! I can’t believe this! I bet that wasn’t really ANTAEUS! That was probably some idiot dressed up as ANTAEUS!”

GHEORGHE: “It looked just like him, Nick … the body type was a perfect match.”

JIVE: “I can’t believe this. This is ridiculous!”

GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen … we have to take a commercial break … but when we come back … one of the members of DREDD, John Doe, will take on the Red Devastator in a SCHOOL HOUSE BRAWL!! Both competitors are at San Diego High School just minutes down the road … They start on the roof … and the first person out the front doors will be declared the winner …. ITS COMING UP NEXT!”

JIVE: “Fucking ANTAEUS….”


More Problems for Marceau

(CUTTO: Juliet Marceau’s office. She’s on the phone.)

MARCEAU: “What do you mean he can’t do it anymore. You tell him to get his ass to Sacramento … he will defend it..”

(She pauses a few seconds.)

MARCEAU: “That’s breach of contract! I WILL SUE YOU AND HIM! Wai.. what?!”

(Marceau furiously flips through some papers.. she slams her hand down on the table, knocking a glass off which causes it to shatter. She glances down obviously even more annoyed than before.)

MARCEAU: “GOD DAMMIT! Fine! If that’s how you want to play it … then I’ll have Rebecca come and get it. GOODBYE!”

(She slams the phone down and puts her head in her hands.)

MARCEAU: “Now what the hell am I going to do. I can’t just give it to him.”

(Marceau glances up and looks at a picture of Ric Flair, holding the WWF World Title.)

MARCEAU: “BINGO!”


( continued... )