(CUTTO: Backstage. Alister Hayze and Jean Rabesque just finish talking. Rabesque and Hayze shake hands before the World Champion heads into his lockerroom and shuts the door.)
JIVE (V/O): “There are the two losers now.”
GHEORGHE (V/O): “Rabesque and that man right there, Alister Hayze, got things started here tonight on RAUCOUS in a big way … until DREDD came down and ruined things.”
JIVE (V/O): “Without DREDD there’d be no ratings, Tom. LaRoque realizes this … when are you?
(Alister Hayze walks by a bunch of tables. As soon as he passes them, John Doe steps from behind the pile and starts sneaking up behind Hayze.)
GHEORGHE (V/O): “NO DAMMIT!”
JIVE (V/O): “DREDD is just going to finish what Alister Hayze and Jean Rabesque started, Tom.”
GHEORGHE (V/O): “DREDD started this whole damn thing!”
(Doe catches Alister Hayze in a cross face chickenwing .. but instead of taking him to the floor, he covers his mouth with a handkerchief..)
JIVE (V/O): “Doe is covering Hayze’s mouth!”
(Alister Hayze slowly stops fighting and slumps to the floor. John Doe lets out a laugh, but quickly stifles it. He then waves at the pile of tables, and Jonathan Marx, Carlee Marx and Brandon Jacobs all come out.)
GHEORGHE (V/O): “THAT WAS ETHER!! THEY KNOCKED HAYZE OUT UNCONSCIOUS WITH ETHER!”
(Jonathan Marx pulls out an electric shaver as Carlee Marx plays with Alister Hayze’s long locks.)
JIVE (V/O): “They’re going to give that hippie a haircut!”
GHEORGHE (V/O): “I can’t believe the audacity of those people!!”
(Marx switches the button and the buzzers come to life. Marx slowly takes it to Hayze’s hair. He moves up and down the scalp of Hayze as John Doe and Carlee Marx take the shaved pieces from his head and toss them to the floor.)
GHEORGHE (V/O): “All this is happening right here and no one is going out and helping him!”
JIVE (V/O): “I think they’re too afraid of DREDD! And Jean Rabesque has no clue what is going on just a mere 10 feet from his lockerroom!”
(Marx continues to shave the head of Alister Hayze. He eventually gets all of the long hair off, leaving Hayze buzzed. Marx looks at it and frowns .. so he continues to clean it up.)
JIVE (V/O): “There’s the Gentleman we all know and love! Making sure that even though he might not have his hair, that his head isn’t totally screwed up!”
GHEORGHE (V/O): “What kind of justification is THAT?”
(A couple of officials turn the corner holding cups of coffee and shooting the shit. They see what is going on and run down the hall way yelling at DREDD. Jonathan Marx turns off his buzzer and DREDD picks up and leaves down the other end of the hallway. The camera catches the ‘new’ Alister Hayze look; buzz cut. CUTTO: Ringside.)
GHEORGHE: “That was UNCALLED for, Nick. Just what is DREDD trying to prove?”
JIVE: “They’re trying to prove that they run the show here in New ERA, Tom. Anyone who steps in their way will end up like Alister Hayze .. or have their property Jason Payne styled.”
GHEORGHE: “Well one man who made sure that he wouldn’t be ruled by DREDD is Chaos .. and he is scheduled to be in our next match against the Phantom Republican as one of these two men will move into the finals to face Alister Hayze for the right to be the #1 contender to the World Heavyweight title.”
JIVE: “ Chaos is a man on a rampage, Tom. As much as I love the Phantom Republican … I don’t know if he will be able to withstand the hate of Chaos.”
GHEORGHE: “Both of these men are great athletes.. as the Phantom Republican pointed out, though, Chaos has had his problems with Rabesque when it came to taking the World Title away … but Chaos DID take the Television title away from him, and if it weren’t for DREDD, he could be standing in the ring right now as the World Champion. Let’s take it down to Carl Jacobs.”
(CUTTO: The lineup flashes across the screen and disintegrates as Carl Jacobs stands in the ring.)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall, has a thirty minute time limit, and is a first round match to determine a NEW #1 CONTENDER FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE!!! (Crowd pops) Introducing first…”
(CUEUP: ‘Imperial March’ by John Williams … with voice / overs from Colin Powell, Condeleeza Rice, and Dick Cheney. The Phantom Republican comes through the curtain and walks down to the ring as red, white and blue spotlights scan the crowd.)
JACOBS: “Standing six foot five and weighing 257 pounds … he hails from Conservative Middle America …………… THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican has been on a roll since coming into New ERA, and with that and his performance in the Battle BRAWL rumble, New ERA administration decided to put him in the World title contender tournament instead of the Television title tournament … and I agree with that decision.”
JACOBS: “And his opponent..”
(CUEUP: ‘You Could Be Mine’ by Guns n’ Roses. Chaos comes through the curtain to a chorus of jeers. Instead of walking down the rampway, he stomps down it … his eyes darting around looking for anything out of the unordinary.)
JACOBS: “He stands seven feet tall and weighs 305 pounds … hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada … he is a former New ERA Television champion …….. CHAOS!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “And Chaos slides into the ring and immediately charges at The Phantom Republican! The Phantom Republican side steps his attack though and Chaos stumbles forward .. the Phantom Republican quickly behind him and he drives the shoulder into the back of the knee of Chaos! Chaos is still on his feet though…”
JIVE: “Smart move by the Phantom Republican right out of the gate … take out the legs of Chaos.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican still behind Chaos now … and he is kicking the back of the knee caps of the left leg trying to get Chaos to the mat … but Chaos is still on his feet! Chaos turns around to face the Phantom Republican …. AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN DROPKICKS THE KNEE OF CHAOS … AND CHAOS FALLS TO ONE KNEE!”
JIVE: “That’s a bad sign for Chaos … when in the first minute of the match you’re already on one knee … it doesn’t really set a positive tone.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican back up quickly and he takes the head of Chaos …. AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN DRIVES THE HEAD OF CHAOS FORWARD AND BASHES IT INTO THE MAT! The Phantom Republican down to the legs of Chaos … and he is stomping viciously on the left leg of Chaos.”
JIVE: “A Republican through and through, Tom .. tenacity .. obstinate .. sticking to his guns of taking the left leg of Chaos out of action.”
GHEORHGE: “The Phantom Republican grabs the leg of Chaos … lifts it in the air … and drills the knee into the mat! Chaos rolls over onto his back and holds the left knee … and it seems like the early attack by the Phantom Republican seems to be working!”
JIVE: “I retract what I said earlier about the Phantom Republican not having a chance at beating Chaos …”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican now grabbing at the left leg again … he stands on the ankle of Chaos’ right leg … AND FALLS BACKWARDS DRIVING THE KNEE INTO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Not only is he hitting the knee, but he’s also trying to dislocate it.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican back to his feet … and he drops an elbow right into the face of Chaos! Republican now dragging Chaos over to the corner …. AND HE DROPS ANOTHER ELBOW! And now he’s … he’s sliding to the outside!”
JIVE: “Curious decision here..”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican goes to the steel post … AND HE GRABS BOTH OF CHAOS’ FEET ……. AND HE PULLS HIM RIGHT INTO THE STEEL POST!”
JIVE: “Now he’s working over a different part of Chaos’ body .. and that I’m sure hurt much more than the knee…”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican grabs Chaos’ leg … AND HE DRIVES THE KNEE INTO THE STEEL POST!”
JIVE: “The steel post comes in handy for multiple purposes..”
GHEORGHE: “Republican rolls back into the ring and he drops the leg across the throat of Chaos. He grabs Chaos by the head and he picks him up … and places him in the corner … The Phantom Republican picking up the left leg of Chaos .. and he’s placing it on the second rope…”
JIVE: “Not so fast, Tom!”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos grabs the face of The Phantom Republican .. and he thumbs him in the eye!”
JIVE: “That’ll stop him dead in his tracks.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos now takes his good leg … and drives a knee into the face of Phantom Republican! Chaos limps out of the corner … and he grabs ahold of the Phantom Republican …. and now he is driving the forearm into the back of him! The Phantom Republican down to his knees …. AND CHAOS KNEES HIM IN THE FACE! The Phantom Republican is on the mat!”
JIVE: “And just like that Chaos turns the pace of the match in his favor.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos trying to work the kink out of his knee … and now he goes back to the Republican … and Chaos locks on a nerve hold … and the Phantom Republican lurches forward in pain!”
JIVE: “ Chaos is going to work him over methodically. You won’t find Chaos pulling any spectacular moves out of his arsenal. He’s a stalker. He’ll keep coming at you and working you down until you’re worn out.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos with a deathgrip on the tendon of the Phantom Republican … and now the Phanton Republican trying to grab the face of Chaos …. But Chaos is keeping his face away from the grip of him … Chaos finally releases the nerve hold and drives an elbow into the side of the neck of the Phantom Republican… Chaos gets to his feet … and he brings the Phantom Republican up…. Chaos bends him over ….. PUMPHANDLE SLAM!”
JIVE: “You do not want to be slammed to the mat from seven feet in the air … The Chaos-Bomb is so effective because of Chaos’ height, and the fact that its done from the top rope.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos drags the Phantom Republican over to the ropes … and now he rests his throat on the second rope … Chaos bounces off the far ropes and charges towards him …. AND CHAOS HOPS ON THE BACK OF THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN AND FORCES THE THROAT DOWN ON THE ROPES! Chaos now hopping up and down on the back of the Phantom Republican!”
JIVE: “Giving him little bits of air … that way when Chaos gets off him, he’s in mid inhalation as Chaos comes back down. That drives the air back out and causes an irregular breathing pattern.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos gets off of the Phantom Republican’s back..”
JIVE: “You should take hinters from Chaos and get off my back..”
GHEORGHE: “And you should take a hint from the Phantom Republican and go step in the ring with Chaos for five minutes. Anyway … Chaos bounces off the far ropes, and he’s coming at the Phantom Republican again … Chaos hops on th… NO! THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN MOVES OUT OF THE WAY AND CHAOS HITS THE ROPES IN THE WRONG WAY! Chaos falls back to the mat and the Phantom Republican makes a cover …. ONE …….. TWO – NO!! Chaos kicks out and both men are on the mat.”
JIVE: “ Chaos went to the well one too many times, and that time he paid for it.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican crawls over to the corner … and he uses the corner ropes to pull himself up to rest … and Chaos is now getting to his feet … he sees the Republican in the corner and comes after him … BUT REPUBLICAN WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! Chaos backs off … but he comes in again … AND REPUBLICAN WITH ANOTHER KICK TO THE GUT! The Phantom Republican charges out and catches Chaos with a swinging neckbreaker!! Both men are back down on the mat!”
JIVE: “These two need to make sure that they keep themselves protected. Its nice and all to want to destroy your opponent .. but you want to make sure you’re in top condition when you face Alister Hayze .. as much as I think it’d be fun watching Hayze battle Rabesque, who he’s seemingly formed some sort of alliance with, I think it’d be much more sweet to deny Hayze the shot considering how close he is.”
GHEORGHE: “That’d be good advice, Nick .. maybe you should go in the ring and tell them yourself.”
JIVE: “Are you crazy? I’m not leaving this table.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican getting to his feet … and he brings Chaos up with him … Republican sends Chaos into the corner …. And now he bounces off the ropes … Chaos comes stumbling out of the corner AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN WITH A STIFF CLOTHESLINE!! But Chaos is still standing!”
JIVE: “The Phantom Republican hit him with the Deficit Runner, but the big man didn’t go down!”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican is climbing the ropes!”
JIVE: “With Chaos still on his feet I don’t know if this is a good move on his part..”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican waits for Chaos to turn around … and as soon as he does he flies off AND HITS THE HIGH ARCHING MOONSAULT AND THEY GO TO THE MAT! ONE ………… TWO …………. THREE!”
JIVE: “NOOOO! Chaos kicked out! Chaos kicked out of Star Wars!!”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican rolls off of Chaos and now is trying to catch his breath… and Chaos also looks like he’s trying to catch his breath.”
JIVE: “These two haven’t stopped since this match started, Tom. It has been one high impact move after the other.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican rolls to his stomach and is getting to his feet now … and Chaos is still on the ground. Phantom Republican picks Chaos up by the hair … AND CHAOS WITH A SHOT UNDERNEATH THE CHIN! The Phantom Republican takes a few steps back as he tries to recover … BUT CHAOS GRABS HIM BY THE ARM AND REELS HIM IN ………. AND NAILS HIM WITH AN ELBOW TO THE FOREHEAD! The Phantom Republican wobbles backwards … AND HE FALLS OVER!”
JIVE: “An elbow from Chaos is like five elbows from anyone else.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos now grabs the Phantom Republican by the throat … AND HE HOISTS HIM UP IN THE AIR AND IS CHOKING HIM!! The referee is over there trying to get Chaos to release the hold …. And finally he starts the count!”
REF: “ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIV..”
GHEORGHE: “AND CHAOS DROPS HIM TO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “ Chaos does not want to be disqualified. I think he’d snap another gasket if his shot at Rabesque was spoiled because he got too zealous.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos now picks up the Phantom Republican again .. and the Phantom Republican is gasping for air still … Chaos irish whips him into the ropes … Republican coming back on the return…. AND CHAOS DRIVES A BIG BOOT INTO THE FACE OF THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
JIVE: “But Chaos is holding that knee of his! I think that he re-aggravated it with the big boot!”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos walking around very gently on his left leg … and now he goes down for the cover …. ONE ………… TWO ……………. THREE—NOOOO! The Phantom Republican kicks out!”
JIVE: “That was close, Tom. If Chaos wasn’t concerned with his knee he might have walked away with a victory there.”
JACOBS: “There are ten minutes remaining in the match…”
JIVE: “Ten minutes left! I would hate to see both of these guys leave the tournament because of a draw.. ESPECIALLY since that’d give Hayze a free pass!”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos perks up when he hears there’s only ten minutes left … and he picks up the Phantom Republican and sends him into the ropes again … Chaos with a clothesline attempt … BUT THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN SLIDES BETWEEN HIS LEGS! Chaos turns around … AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN KICKS HIS LEFT LEG OUT FROM UNDER HIM! Chaos is on the mat and the Phantom Republican with the quick cover …. ONE ……… TWO ……… THR—KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “The Phantom Republican trying to use his speed to his advantage, but Chaos was a little bit too aware of where he was and what was happening.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican grabs Chaos’ leg …. BUT CHAOS USES HIS FREE LEG TO KICK HIM OFF! Chaos now getting to his feet .. he’s on his knees … and here comes the Phantom Republican! Republican lifts his arms for the axehandle …. BUT CHAOS CLUBS HIM IN THE STOMACH! The Phantom Republican is doubled over … AND CHAOS UPPERCUTS HIM! The Phantom Republican goes backwards and lands in the ropes!”
JIVE: “ Chaos can drain all your energy with one nailed punch, and that uppercut landed on the bullseye.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos gets to his feet … and he comes after the Phantom Republican …. The Phantom Republican tries to get away … BUT CHAOS GRABS HIM BY THE ARM AND DRAGS HIM IN ….. CHAOS WITH A TAKEOVER SUPLEX …. AND NOW HE’s CALLING FOR THE CHAOSBOMB!!!”
(SFX: Fans pop as Chaos makes the signal.)
JIVE: “It’s all over for the Phantom Republican … once Chaos has him lifted up the Phantom Republican can kiss his chances of being elected World Champion goodbye for another 4 years… or its equivalent in wrestling terms.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos brings the Phantom Republican over to the corner … and he places him on the top rope …… CHAOS IS NOW CLIMBIN… NO!! The Phantom Republican with some blows to the face stops him!”
JIVE: “ Phantom Republican is running on pure willpower now.”
GHEORGHE: “ Chaos tries to get him under control … BUT THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN THUMBS HIM IN THE EYE!”
JIVE: “This is payback for earlier when Chaos did it to him!”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican now stands on the top rope …. Chaos is walking around trying to regain his vision …. Chaos walks right in front of the Phantom Republican ………. AND THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN FLIES OFF THE TOP ROPE AND CATCHES CHAOS WITH A SUNSET FLIP FROM THE TOP ROPE!!! ONE ………….. TWO ………….. THREE!!”
JIVE: “HE GOT HIM!! OH MY GOD HE GOT HIM!!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this match .. and moving on to the finals to determine a #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship ….. THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!!”
GHEORGHE: “I can’t believe it!! AND NEITHER CAN CHAOS! Chaos is up and he is yelling at the referee…. AND NOW HE IS SHAKING THE ROPES …. And he heads out of the ring and runs up the rampway … Chaos is on the warpath … AND WE GOTTA TAKE A COMMERCIAL BREAK!”
