(CUTTO: Inside the arena as Tom Gheorghe and Nick Jive take their seats.)
GHEORGHE: “Weeeelllcome everyone to New ERA of Wrestling’s RAUCOUS!”
(Jive shakes his finger at Gheorghe..)
JIVE: “No, no, no, Gheorghe! Tonight … DREDD owns RAUCOUS!”
GHEORGHE: “Oh, excuse me. Welcome everyone as DREDD presents RAUCOUS….”
JIVE: “There we go.”
GHEORGHE: “We are coming to you from the Nassau Coliseum here in Uniondale, New York … and what a show we have tonight.”
JIVE: “You are telling me!”
GHEORGHE: “Last RAUCOUS John Doe used Jean Rabesque’s departure to trick New ERA President Marcus LaRoque into signing this week’s RAUCOUS over to DREDD …”
JIVE: “That meant complete control … including the matches here tonight ..”
GHEORGHE: “Luckily for Chaos, he was on RAPTURE and spared from tonight’s event..”
JIVE: “One could only wonder what John Doe would have done to the new P©X Champion.”
GHEORGHE: “Well tonight John Doe has a larger task to deal with instead of Chaos, I can tell you that.”
JIVE: “Well Chaos was on RAPTURE in Uncasville, Connecticut and he fared pretty well against Jason Payne in a non-title barbwire match.”
GHEORGHE: “Yes .. the current PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion defeated the strange Jason Payne after Chaosbombing him off the top rope onto hundreds of thumbtacks that he had spread out across the mat… and that was the main event of the return of RAPTURE.. there were four other matches that also filled out the card.”
JIVE: “Poor, poor Dean Julius.”
GHEORGHE: “Huh?”
JIVE: “We’re getting this great match between two women … and Julius got Victoria Hawke and Mercedes Devon… HA!”
GHEORGHE: “Mercedes Devon in her New ERA debut … and she ended up pulling out the victory over Hawke who definitely didn’t expect Devon to come out swinging the way she did.”
JIVE: “That’s what happens when you underestimate your opponent..”
GHEORGHE: “Since RAPTURE was making its big return, it only seemed fitting that the next two matches included people who were making their New ERA debuts … in the first match New ERA’s sumo wrestler, Ozeki, went toe to toe with Matthew, the Hardcore Kid..”
JIVE: “Matthew tried his hardest to get the big man down and get the victory, but .. well, let’s just say that things didn’t work out the way either man hoped.”
GHEORGHE: “Both men would be counted out after Matthew and Ozeki both went over the top rope and fell to the floor. Ozeki would hit his head on the floor and be knocked unconscious while the referee counted… and Matth…”
JIVE: “AND MATTHEW GOT STUCK UNDERNEATH HIM! HAHA!”
GHEORGHE: “Nick!”
JIVE: “It was one of the best things I have ever seen.”
GHEORGHE: “Chris McMillan took on another newcomer here in New ERA as Kidd Jackson made his debut..”
JIVE: “Another match that was worth as much as the people in the nosebleed section.”
GHEORGHE: “Kidd Jackson and McMillan battled to a double disqualification as neither man released their chokeholds …”
JIVE: “I had never seen the crowd so bored with a match since April 4, 1993.”
GHEORGHE: “Oh come on, that’s a little over the top, Nick.”
JIVE: “No, really… people had signs. “UT vs GG wasn’t this bad” .. I saw them on the television.”
(Gheorghe merely sighs.)
GHEORGHE: “Finally LoC superstar Turk took on ‘the Messenger’ Trevor Cane .. and only one show after defeating Larry Tact … Turk stumbled.”
JIVE: “Yea, Trevor Cane, the whipping boy of Chaos during the two year anniversary show, pulled the huge upset by defeating Turk .. and let me tell you, whoever Turk faces next better have pretty damn good insurance.”
GHEORGHE: “Needless to say, RAPTURE was a smashing success on its return with some fantastic matches … but tonight … DREDD has put together a show that should REALLY take off…”
JIVE: “MUD WRESTLING! BLIND FOLDS! LEATHER… wait a minute.. this sounds like a bad porno!”
GHEORGHE: “…”
JIVE: “I LOVE IT!”
GHEORGHE: “Alrighty then … in tonight’s opening match Rocko Daymon will take on ‘the Phenom’ Shawn Hart in a best two out of three falls match ..”
JIVE: “Maybe those two will knock each other silly during the match and we won’t have to see either one for a while..”
GHEORGHE: “I highly doubt that, Nick, but the match will surely be full of great wrestling techniques as both men are highly trained wrestlers… the next event features the former New ERA World Champion Larry Tact against Cameron Cruise … in a leather strap match!”
JIVE: “Tact has already dropped the big bomb at the two year anniversary show, and he’s going to do it again tonight .. this time though, Cameron Cruise is going to knock him senseless with the leather strap before dragging his ass to each of the four corners and getting the victory.”
GHEORGHE: “A match that Nick has been looking forward to ever since it was announced..”
JIVE: “ME??! Don’t you mean EVERY red-blooded American male who isn’t singing Judy Garland tunes?”
GHEORGHE: “…”
JIVE: “Forget it.”
GHEORGHE: “Karla Starr will be taking on Foxx in a non-title match .. and DREDD decided in their infinite wisdom, some say, to make this a … mud-wrestling match.”
JIVE: “Love it.”
GHEORGHE: “I’m sure two of New ERA’s most talented women love it as well, Nick.”
JIVE: “Good, they’re lucky DREDD even let them have air time.”
GHEORGHE: “The Television title will be on the line again this RAUCOUS … Mr. Entertainment defeated MWG at the two year anniversary show .. but he did not win the title… this time .. MWG will have to defend his title .. but both men will be in the dark .. as this match will be a Marco Polo blindfold match!”
JIVE: “Nothing like watching two grown men stumble around the ring with a title on the line..”
GHEORGHE: “And finally … in tonight’s main event … Jonathan Marx and John Doe will be taking on New ERA World Champion the Phantom Republican … and a mystery opponent in a Tornado Tag match …”
JIVE: “Apparently Marcus LaRoque hand picked this mystery tag partner and won’t tell anyone who it is!”
GHEORGHE: “The stipulation of this match … all four men in the ring at one time .. and whoever makes the pinfall wins the World title!”
JIVE: “WHAT?!”
GHEORGHE: “That means that The Phantom Republican does not even have to be pinned in order to lose the title…”
JIVE: “That’s TREASON!”
GHEORGHE: “DREDD gave the orders … and since DREDD is presenting RAUCOUS this week .. that is what will happen!”
JIVE: “Bullocks.”
GHEORGHE: “All this .. and a very special announcement concerning our next pay per view, BattleBRAWL 2 … but first things first .. we have to take a commercial break!”
