[ Estadio Cabo ] Santiago, Dominican Republic
PRESENTS ....
TAPED: Dec. 31, 2006
AIRED: Jan. 15, 2007
EPISODE: RAUCOUS 28
(FADEIN: Juliet Marceau’s office. Marceau is standing behind her desk, placing a picture frame into one of the boxes. Towering before her is a man we all know: Chaos. We join them in progress.)
CHAOS: “You owe me one.”
MARCEAU: “And how do you figure that?”
CHAOS: “I did your bidding... New ERA needed me for the Dupree Cup... didn't I come through?”
MARCEAU: “Yes.”
CHAOS: “And did I not do your bidding with that match against Larry Tact?”
MARCEAU: (laughing) “Yeah, but you lost.”
CHAOS: “True, but I lost nothing... you gave me no incentive, but I still went out there and put my body on the line. I did what you wanted me too... I put Larry Tact through hell... did I not?”
MARCEAU: “I guess.... but....”
CHAOS: (cutting her off) “No buts... and maybe... maybe if you'd given me some incentive... like the World Heavyweight Championship Title shot you wanted me to keep him from getting. Well maybe I might have tried... just a little harder. Which brings me to tonight.”
MARCEAU: (scoffs) “What about it?”
CHAOS: “I want a rematch for my P©X Championship. It's in the contract and you owe me one... I want MWG in the ring again.”
MARCEAU: “Look you don't need to tell me what's in a contract.”
(Chaos nearly chokes holding back a laugh.)
MARCEAU: “I'll look into your rematch, but on only one condition.”
CHAOS: “What's that?”
MARCEAU: “You'd better win tonight.”
CHAOS: (eyes widen) “What?”
MARCEAU: (placing the frame in the box and shutting it) “You heard me... you go out there and beat Trevor Cane or the next time you see the P©X Championship will be when you’re sitting in the front row at BANNED in the US.”
(She smiles as she carries the box out of her office leaving Chaos watching her.)
(The screen fades to black .. slowly the RAUCOUS logo appears on screen.)
(CUEUP: “Who Said” by Planet Funk as the camera cuts into the Estadio Cabo in Santiago, Dominican Republic. The crowd is ecstatic as the big screen starts cutting to different sections of the arena. The camera then cuts to the announce table where Tom Gheorghe, Nick Jive .. and surprise, Dean Julius sit. Nick Jive is shaking his head as Julius grabs his pastalito and eats it.)
GHEORGHE: “Welcome everyone to Santiago, Dominican Republic as we are in the Estadio Cabo … for New ERA of Wrestling RAUCOUS!”
JULIUS: “I have returned!”
GHEORGHE: “I’d like to welcome Dean Julius back to RAUCOUS …”
JIVE: “Someone up there hates me.”
JULIUS: “The STAR of the RAUCOUS announce team has returned!”
JIVE: “I thought you were the star of the RAPTURE announce team.. looks like your star power couldn’t save it, huh?”
JULIUS: “First things first, Jive .. you don’t talk to the STAR unless spoken to! Get it through that skull of yours and we’ll be fine!”
GHEORGHE: “As I said we are here in the Dominican Republic .. and what an amazing show we have tonight.”
JIVE: “This is one of the biggest shows we’ve had here on RAUCOUS in a long, long time.. TWO main events!”
GHEORGHE: “It is going to be a great show tonight .. we have two main events .. a Television Championship match .. a New Years Ball Drop match .. and we also have HAL, John Doe, Steven Shane and Peter File all in action!”
JULIUS: “Speaking of balls, what is Juliet Marceau still doing here?”
GHEORGHE: “Well the new President of the VENUS Wrestling Alliance still has a few more things to do before she can leave her position as New ERA’s Vice President .. and we just saw one of them as she and Chaos seemed to have struck some type of deal to ensure that Chaos gets his P©X Championship rematch against MWG!”
JIVE: “I think Chaos is the only man in the world right now who actually wants INTO a match with MWG.”
JULIUS: “Yea, because you just want to be INTO bed with MWG.”
JIVE: “Here we go…”
GHEORGHE: “Marceau has been pretty busy between jumpstarting her new all-women’s wrestling promotion .. as you may have seen this past week, she put out a press release announcing the signing of former WFW World Heavyweight champion Alex Wylde .. and then just a few days later released a statement saying that he wasn’t signed, and that New ERA was merely in negotiations with the former champion.”
JIVE: “Marceau has a lot on her mind, and I’m sure she merely misplaced the statement in the folder for release.”
JULIUS: “You’re still sucking up to that bitch? She’s as good as gone, buddy!”
JIVE: “I’ll wait till she’s good and gone before I start sucking up to Marcus LaRoque.”
(Jive grabs his water bottle and takes a swig.)
JULIUS: “Are you sure you’re not already sucking him?”
(Nick Jive practically sprays the ring as he spits out the water in his mouth and glares at Dean Julius.)
GHEORGHE: “Well, well, well .. let’s go ahead and talk about our matches!”
JIVE: “Let’s .. because if we don’t I’m going to choke Julius.”
GHEORGHE: “First up we’ll see the return to in ring action of Peter File… he made quite the .. appearance last RAUCOUS as he flashed two of New ERA’s former women’s division wrestlers … but he’ll have his hands full tonight as he takes on ‘Sensational’ Steven Shane.”
JIVE: “Quite literally!”
GHEORGHE: “Oh Nick… Shane is coming off a huge victory over HAL .. and these two should put on quite a show.”
JULIUS: “Peter File was thisclose to winning the World Heavyweight Championship way back in the day as he was one of the four men in the Fatal Fourway battle royal that ended the Battle Bowl Mania tournament.. and you know that he’s going to be a real threat to Shawn Hart.”
GHEORGHE: “There’s no doubt, however, that Steven Shane is going to be a hell of a competitor to beat. Shane came out in just his second match and defeated the Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler ..”
JIVE: “That’s going to be an interesting match to say the least.”
GHEORGHE: “The action continues as the aforementioned HAL will take on the man who shocked the world, not to mention his former DREDD stablemate, Jonathan Marx, by turning on the former World Heavyweight champion in that impromptu World Heavyweight Championship match last RAUCOUS.”
JULIUS: “Might I also say, that Shawn Hart pulled a rabbit out of his hat with the contract signing.. and its all because Brandon Jacobs destroyed Jonathan Marx’s reading glasses in the days before RAUCOUS.”
GHEORGHE: “Well John Doe better watch his back .. because if there’s one thing you don’t want to do, its get on Marx’s bad side. HAL is coming off that loss to Steven Shane, and he’s going to be looking to bounce back with a victory tonight.”
JIVE: “I saw HAL in the back. He was looking very intently at his ZEN media player thing .. Apparently he downloaded all of Doe’s prior matches onto it and was watching them all to scout him.”
JULIUS: “Media player thing? We know who still owns an Apple II..”
GHEORGHE: “Things really start to heat up when former PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion Chaos takes on ‘the Messenger’ Trevor Cane in a New Years Ball Drop match .. Cane was hiding in one of the presents during Chaos’ championship match against MWG .. and he caused the former champion to lose his title.”
JIVE: “Have you seen that New Years Ball? It’s pretty damn big!”
JULIUS: “Why thank you.”
GHEORGHE: “You know Chaos is pretty mad…”
JULIUS: “Let’s not pretend, Gheorghe. Chaos is ripshit. Cane came out and had no business getting in Chaos’ match. Cane’s going to be watching the real New Years Ball drop from a hospital bed.”
GHEORGHE: “Cameron Cruise will try to finally win the Television Championship. He’s come so close a couple of times before .. but this time might just be the one.”
JULIUS: “Cruise can’t close it out. He’s been close.. he’s the Bill Murray of New ERA.”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment kept the title last RAUCOUS by the skin of his teeth against Daymon…”
JIVE: “Entertainment was granted a reprieve, Gheorghe. Daymon had him down .. Daymon’s own greed is the reason why Mr. Entertainment kept the title .. and thank God, too. I wouldn’t want to see that maniac Daymon with the title. He’s gone nuts!”
GHEORGHE: “Well Cruise and Mr. Entertainment will battle for the title .. and we’ll see if tonight’s the night that Cruise walks away champion!”
JULIUS: “But fuck that … let’s talk about tonight’s two main events! I have never seen anything as big on television as we’re going to get tonight!”
GHEORGHE: “I would have to agree, Dean. Look at them.. in the first main event of the night … we have THREE former New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champions .. the current P©X champion .. a man whose lasted to the final three in both BattleBRAWL rumbles .. and Daymon, who almost won the BattleBRAWL 2 rumble as well as walked away from the Television championship … it’s going to be an amazing three team tag match.”
JIVE: “This is the epitome of keep your friends close and your enemies closer … Jean Rabesque will be teaming with the man he beat for the World Heavyweight Championship at Destrucity … Larry Tact! And get this .. Jason Payne will be teaming with MWG .. and we all know their history!”
JULIUS: “Yea .. but unlike you we didn’t get off to it.”
GHEORGHE: “The Phantom Republican and Daymon will be the third team .. and with Daymon saying that he’s not going to stop until he has the World Heavyweight Championship .. you know that the former champion isn’t going to take too kindly to him.”
JULIUS: “But that’s not all … because the World Heavyweight Championship is ALSO on the line tonight .. and its going to be in a mall right here in Santiago!”
GHEORGHE: “New ERA is ganking the FAO Schwartz match from our sister-promotion World’s Finest Wrestling, with their permission of course .. but since there aren’t any FAO Schwartz’s here in Santiago .. we’re doing it Dominican style .. and taking up a whole mall!”
JIVE: “Shawn Hart and Jonathan Marx could be rolling around in dog shit if they get to a pet store … they could be using cherry flavored lube if they get to a Spencer’s … who the hell knows what will happen!”
GHEORGHE: “All I know is that Jonathan Marx is determined to get his World Heavyweight Championship back after what happened thanks to both John Doe and Jean Rabesque last RAUCOUS … But we’ve got to take a break …”
JULIUS: “And when we come back .. we’ll see Peter File and Steven Shane in action .. and that’s not all you get to look forward to, because after the match you can bet that Nick Jive will do a backstage interview with both men in the showers!”
JIVE: “I’m going to fuc..”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(CUTTO: Outside the office of Marcus LaRoque, NEW President, as marked by the gold plate sign on the door. A hand knocks on the door, and we hear 'Come in...' from inside as the camera pans to reveal Larry Tact moving into the office. The cameraman spots Jason Tripp creeping towards the door and holding the doorknob as Tact closes the door. Tripp keeps the knob turned and edges open the door enough to hear from inside, the camera zooming in on LaRoque and Tact shaking hands before the President motions for Tact to sit. He does.)
LaROQUE: “I know there have been some... differences of opinion between you and the Vice—”
TACT: “Another time, Prez. I'm here to talk about something that has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with NEW... and EPW.”
LaROQUE: “Oh, well... alright. I'm listening.”
TACT: “Let me give you a vision of the future... the grand scheme of things.... and—“
(Outside the office door, standing with a microphone, is New ERA’s newest backstage interviewer, Sam Baxter. Baxter stifles a cough, but not quietly enough. Tact turns in his chair and begins rising, but Baxter sheepishly shuts the door and backs off a bit. Seconds later, a lock is heard clicking.)
BAXTER: “What rotten luck! Folks, there's obviously something going on behind these doors, between Larry Tact and President Marcus LaRoque. I'll be standing by with any breaking news, and a word with either man when they emerge from this meeting. Right now we know Tact wants to discuss something that has to do with NEW... AND EPW! We'll keep on it right here. Back to you at ringside!”
(CUTTO: Ringside.)
GHEORGHE: “And our newest backstage interviewer, Sam Baxter, almost got the scoop of the year … on his first assignment!”
JULIUS: “That kid is still wet behind the ears, Gheorghe.. the only thing he’s going to get is a raunchy phone call later tonight from Jive.”
JIVE: “I hope you lock your hotel room door at night.”
JULIUS: “With you next door, I lock it and barricade it.”
GHEORGHE: “We’re ready for our first match of the night .. the return of Peter File as he takes on ‘Sensational’ Steven Shane!”
JIVE: “I hope Shane is ready .. because Peter File is not like anything else he’s faced before.”
GHEORGHE: “I’m sure Shane’s ready .. he doesn’t strike me as someone who wouldn’t go out there and scout his opponent … let’s head to the ring for the introductions!”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring as the lineup comes on screen.)
Peter File vs. Steven Shane
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit … introducing first..”
(CUEUP: ‘Sigur 1 (Vaka)’ by Sigur Ros. The fans begin to jeer as Peter File walks out in a trench coat.)
GHEORGHE: “Oh Lord…”
JULIUS: “Now don’t get too excited, Jive.”
JACOBS: “Hailing from New Haven, Connecticut .. he weighs 205 pounds … PETER FILE!”
(File walks down the rampway, trying to lick anyone who is foolish enough to hang over the guardrail.)
JACOBS: “And his opponent .. standing six foot two and weighing 253 pounds…”
(CUEUP: ‘Damo’ by Fabolous. The girls from "Damn" give out their trademark 'Damn,' leading pyros to explode around the big screens, splitting at the top and wrapping around to meet at the bottom. As the big screen pyros conclude to the bottom, they seem to leak down the entryway and to the stage, where they split to each side, followed by a stream of pyros running to each side of the stage as Shane enters to Fabolous’s lyrical genius. The crowd gives him a healthy pop.)
JACOBS: “Hailing from Hollywood, California … ‘Sensational’ STEVEN SHANE!”
GHEORGHE: “And the fans love Steven Shane here in Santiago!”
JIVE: “They just love the pyros .. anything that goes bang that isn’t coming from Haiti makes them happy.”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
SHORTFORM
BEGINNING: It was quite obvious in the beginning that Steven Shane doesn’t have much experience wrestling someone like Peter File. Shane immediately went for the close encounter lock ups, all of which ended up with Peter File behind him. Not quite the position one would want to be in when File is your opponent. After some roaming hands sent Shane to the mat in an attempt to escape File’s grasp, the match began to heat up. Shane roughed Peter File up pretty bad by nailing him in the back of the head with a superkick following a botched back body drop. File fell face first to the mat, giving Shane enough time to grab his legs. Shane was quick to apply the California Clutch to end the match early, but File was close enough to the ropes to break the hold. Peter File rose to his feet after the referee backed Shane up, and he waved a finger at Shane. Steven Shane didn’t make the mistake this time of engaging in close combat, preferring instead to dropkick File as he came out to the center of the ring. That caught File offguard and Shane once again tried to quickly wrap File’s legs up. File powered out of the attempt sending Shane to his knees. Shane brought File to his feet and hooked the tights for the vertical suplex, but File blocked and reversed it. With Shane on the mat, Peter File popped up and grabbed both of his legs. After dropping a headbutt dangerously low to the abdomen, File used a fistful of hair to bring Shane to his feet. File sent Shane to the ropes with an irish whip, and on the return, nailed him in the face with a back elbow. Shane went flying to the mat. File dropped a knee across the face and covered, only getting a one count.
2nd QUARTER: The match went back and forth with both men trading blows. Peter File raked Shane’s eyes to get the upperhand, and followed it up with a half nelson. Steven Shane looked to be in great pain as both men stood in the middle of the ring, but that couldn’t stop Steven Shane. Shane grabbed the head of File and dropped all of his weight to the ground jamming File’s chin on Shane’s shoulder. Shane was slow to get to his feet, as was File, and both men met in the middle of the ring. Peter File went for a go behind, but Shane was waiting for him this time, immediately going around again behind File. Shane brought File over with a German suplex for a two count. Shane got to his feet, albeit more slowly than earlier in the match, and placed File’s head in between his legs. If File were more conscious he would have enjoyed it more. Shane hooked the waist and took File up with the powerbomb, but that wouldn’t be the case as Peter File had a trick up his sleeve, catching his opponent with a shot to the face while up in the air. This allowed File to drop back and use the momentum to counter the powerbomb attempt into a hurricanrana. File leaned forward for a very unconventional pin attempt, but it was only good enough for a two count. This time it was Peter File’s turn to go for the legs as he turned Shane on his stomach and grabbed a single leg for the Half Crab. File sat way back for maximum effect. The referee tried to get in to ask Shane if he wanted to submit, but Shane made it clear he was not going to.
3rd QUARTER: After File released the Half Crab he made his way to the corner and sat on the second ropes. Steven Shane took his time getting to his feet, but once he did Peter File flew off for the double axehandle. Shane caught him in the gut with a jab sending File flipping head over heels to the mat. Steven Shane took this opportunity to slam the back of File’s head into the mat several times, much to the pleasure of the fans. Steven Shane got to his feet and tried for a DDT only to be thrown off by File. Shane rolled backwards, however, and was on his feet in no time. This didn’t bode well for File who was blindsided with the clothesline. Shane grabbed the legs of File sending the fans into cheers, but instead of applying the California Clutch he went for the Figure Four. After locking on the Figure Four, Shane waited patiently for File to be worn down. It looked as if File was going to fade into submission, but at the last moment he popped up and began punching the side of Shane’s calf looking to give him a Charlie Horse if he didn’t release. After the fifth or sixth punch Shane broke the Figure Four. Steven Shane then went on an offensive frenzy. He brought File to his feet, hooked the waist and drove File’s body into the mat with a Sidewalk Slam. Shane wasn’t done yet as he brought File back up, whipped him into the ropes and caught him with a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker. Shane went down for the pinfall attempt, and nearly got the three count. File somehow kicked out while the referee’s hand was mere inches from the mat.
END: Shane miscued the “Point Blank” superkick as Peter File ducked underneath it and that set off a series of events that would have made MWG burst at the seams. When File ducked, he made sure to grab a hold of the .. extremities .. Coming up behind Shane he gave a good tug, which I guess would be considered a low blow. This doubled Shane over. File made good use of Shane’s inability to fight his advance off by scooping Shane up with the Tombstone. You could see the smile on File’s face between Shane’s legs. Surprisingly, however, File completed the move and jammed Shane’s head into the mat. Peter File sat on the mat carefully examining each and .. every .. crevice, but did not make the cover. After the referee stepped in to see if everything was okay, File frowned and got back up to his feet. He ran over to the corner, climbed to the top rope and came flying off with a moonsault. Unfortunately for File, his libido gave Steven Shane enough time to recover and thus Shane rolled out of the way. Neither man seemed able to get to his feet as the referee counted, but at eight Shane got to his feet, followed by File at nine. They met in the center of the ring with Steven Shane kicking File in the gut. Shane hooked the head and brought File to the corner. Shane hopped up to the second ropes for a Tornado DDT ……. But File threw him off! Shane hit the mat hard. File stood in the corner as Shane got to his feet. As Shane turned, File flew out with the springboard eye gouge. This time he didn’t waste time admiring Shane’s sensationalness as he turned Shane over and applied the Fistful of Seamen. Shane tapped out a few moments later after not being able to withstand the hold any longer.
WINNER: Peter File via submission after Shane submitted to the Fistful of Seamen at 17:01.
GHEORGHE: “What a victory for Peter File in his first match in almost two years!”
JIVE: “I guess there was no ring rust at all..”
JULIUS: “Didn’t you give him a good rub down earlier to get rid of the rust?”
GHEORGHE: “Ladies and gentlemen, let’s go back to Sam Baxter .. who I believe is about to talk to Larry Tact!”
A Big Scoop
(CUTTO: Backstage. Sam Baxter stands in front of NEW President Marcus LaRoque’s door. He looks nervous as he presses down his hair. He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabs his head.)
BAXTER: “Hello there, my name’s Sam Baxter .. and I am about to talk to former World Heavyweight champion Larry Tact as soon as he exits the office of New ERA President, Marcus LaRoque .. and I can tell you right now, that I am a little bit nervous … my first ever backstage interview and it is with Larry Tact!”
(The door opens and out steps Larry Tact, a grin on his face. Sam Baxter is quick to appear before Tact.
BAXTER: “Larry Tact, we saw you entering President LaRoque's office some time ago. What exactly were you discussing?”
TACT: “Sam .. Sam is it? .. Well, let me tell you....”
BAXTER: “Yes...”
TACT: “....along with everyone else... it's something that can change the shape of NEW as we know it. And...”
BAXTER: “And?”
TACT: “You'll find out in just a bit. Until then, you'll have to wait just like everyone else.”
(He begins walking away..)
BAXTER: “I was afraid you'd say that. But wait! What about your tag team match tonight? Any last comments before you enter the ring to team with—”
TACT: “My partner... if there's one thing I can say, Baxter, it's that we're both ready. I've got a chance to get some payback tonight, on more than one person in that ring. Whether I get that payback won't be my primary concern. I'm more concerned with finding out just what the rest of these guys have to offer when the spotlight is burning on them. This isn't just a match with strange pairings, Sam. This is another test, another obstacle. Do I want to be teamed with... this former Television champion? No. But I have better things to do than whine about it. I haven't complained one time about my partner in this match. I've made my thoughts abundantly clear, and this match is how I say. It's going to determine who can hang at the top of this promotion.... and who's going to just plain hang themselves when put under the spotlight. No doubt we're both ready.”
BAXTER: “Does that mean you've met with Jean Rabesque?”
TACT: “No, I haven't.”
BAXTER: “Then let me play Devil's Advocate here... why would you, of all people, be so confident in Jean Rabesque?”
TACT: “Real simple, Sam... look who he's got for a partner. He'd better be ready to take on everyone in this match. Everyone.”
(Tact walks away without another word..)
BAXTER: “Tom, Nick, Dean... at least for the team of Tact and Rabesque, it doesn't seem things have gotten any less volatile!”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(CUTTO: Ringside.)
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact with some strong words … and we still don’t know what his meeting with LaRoque was about.”
JIVE: “Larry Tact was probably begging LaRoque for a World Heavyweight Championship shot ..”
GHEORGHE: “I highly doubt it …”
JULIUS: “Did you catch his words to Rabesque? He didn’t even refer to him as a former World Heavyweight champion .. he called him a former Television champion!”
GHEORGHE: “Well as we said before, the teams tonight for our first main event … are not exactly what you would call amicable.”
JIVE: “I can just see it now … they’ll be fighting each other instead of their opponents!”
GHEORGHE: “Well before we get to the main events we have to first have our other matches … we just saw Peter File pick up his first victory since returning .. and coming up now is the Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler HAL against the former DREDD member, John Doe.”
JIVE: “John Doe sure as hell could not have been given a worse opponent to face tonight than HAL. With the way that HAL’s been since he lost to Steven Shane, you would have thought he worked for Novell.”
JULIUS: “You know that like only 1% of the population gets your jokes .. and they’re all playing Lord of the Rings Online beta right now…”
GHEORGHE: “Well these two men are about to face off .. so let’s go to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions!”
(CUTTO: The ring. The lineup comes on screen as Jacobs waits.)
John Doe vs. HAL
(CUEUP: “When Worlds Collide” by Powerman 5000 … John Doe steps through the curtains .. he is wearing .. a pressed white shirt and wrestling slacks…)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit… introducing first .. he stands six foot one and weighs 210 pounds … he is a former PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion …. JOHN DOE!”
GHEORGHE: “Doe .. looks a little different tonight..”
JIVE: “He looks .. refined?”
GHEORGHE: “Maybe this split from DREDD was what he needed…”
JACOBS: “And his opponent .. hailing from Redwood, Washington…”
(CUEUP: ‘It’s All About the Pentiums’ by Weird Al Yankovic. HAL steps through the curtain to a huge jeer.)
JACOBS: “He stands six foot three and weighs 265 pounds … he is the Dupree Cup Co-Most Valuable Wrestler… HAL!”
JULIUS: “HAL is looking at his ZEN .. and now he’s looking at Doe .. and now he tosses the ZEN into the crowd!”
JIVE: “I guess his scouting didn’t help!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
SHORTFORM
BEGINNING: The match began on an uneven note as both men missed early opportunities to take advantage. Doe got HAL on the defensive early in the match, but that ended earlier than he wanted when instead of coming off the ropes with a flying cross body, HAL caught him and slammed him into the mat with a powerslam. HAL then went on the offensive with some great suplexes. Doe looked to be down but HAL missed a dropkick and while getting up was caught from behind by Doe who nailed him with a triple German Suplex. Doe seemed to get back on track with a lot of mat moves. After a drop toe hold sent HAL face first to the mat, Doe kipped up, bounced against the ropes and splashed HAL on the mat. He turned HAL over, but Doe only got the two count. Doe then went to the air hoping to stop the computer genius. While HAL was getting to his feet, Doe went up to the top rope. A few seconds later HAL was on the outside of the ring as Doe nailed a missile dropkick that sent him flying. Doe was quick to that corner, and the fans popped when he went up top. HAL was aware of this however, and when Doe flew off HAL nailed him with a reverse crescent kick. HAL rolled Doe into the ring and covered him, but the referee was only able to count to two before the former DREDD member kicked out. HAL sent Doe to the corner and charged in afterwards, nailing him with a clothesline that practically took his head off.
MIDDLE: HAL spent the next few minutes pounding Doe in the corner. HAL sent him across the ring to the other corner causing Doe to hit it chest first. HAL went for a clothesline right off the bat, but Doe fell to the mat and HAL also hit the corner chest first. With both men on the mat the referee began to count. HAL got to his feet first and dragged Doe to the middle of the ring. He applied a Figure Four on John Doe causing Doe to sit up in pain. HAL looked to be talking trash to Doe .. which seemed to spark something in the challenger. Doe began to wail on HAL and that was enough to break the Figure Four. Both men got to their feet and locked up. HAL went behind with the hammerlock. Doe looked for ways to either counter or break the hold, but he wasn’t able to. HAL then quickly grabbed the head of Doe and slammed it into the mat. HAL turned him over to apply the STF, but Doe powered out of it. HAL then decided to pick Doe up, but Doe was waiting and nailed HAL in the family jewels, doubling him over. Doe hooked the head of HAL and drove it into the mat with a DDT. Doe got a two count. John Doe wasn’t finished, however, as he literally grabbed HAL by the throat and to his feet. HAL struggled, but he was not able to break free, which allowed Doe to bring him up and down with the chokeslam. Doe once again covered, but HAL got out before the referee counted to three. You could tell that both men were beginning to feel the effects of the match as Doe was slow to get up. Once he did he dropped the leg across the face of HAL.
END: Towards the end of the match both men were on their feet. John Doe scoop slammed HAL to the mat and went to the top rope. The fans were on their feet as Doe called for the 450 splash .. and he flew off the top rope with great height. Unfortunately for Doe, HAL was able to roll out of the way and he hit the mat hard. HAL rolled him over and hooked the leg, but surprisingly Doe was able to kick out! HAL got to his feet and started to go to town on his opponent. Doe was sent to the ropes, and on the way back HAL grabbed him, spun him up and brought his back down on the knee with a vicious backbreaker. HAL grabbed the leg of Doe and dropped the elbow on it. HAL tried to apply a Figure Four, but Doe still had some kick in him… literally! HAL go t a boot to the face which stopped the submission from being applied. HAL came back to try to stop Doe from getting to his feet. HAL stomped on the back of Doe repeatedly and eventually dropped the elbow, too. This wasn’t enough to break his spirits however. Doe finally made it to his feet and fought valiantly against the computer programmer. Doe ducked a HAL punch and brought him crashing down with the side suplex. John Doe once more went to the top rope .. and this time he nailed a breath taking swanton bomb. Doe wasn’t able to make the cover, though, and both men laid on the mat. Doe tried to get to his feet, but the referee made it to ten before either man could get to their feet.
WINNER: Double count out at 11:28.
JIVE: “You’ve got to be kidding me! How did Doe manage to go to a no contest with HAL .. This is a travesty!”
GHEORGHE: “Both men gave it their all .. but it seems that neither man will be walking away with a victory under their belt tonight.”
JULIUS: “I thought they both looked like shit.”
GHEORGHE: “Dean!”
JULIUS: “I’m just telling it how it is, Gheorghe.”
GHEORGHE: “I wouldn’t say that ..”
JIVE: “I would .. and he knows what he’s talking about, too, since he’s full of it.”
GHEORGHE: “You two are something else..”
Getting What You Ask For
(CUEUP: ‘The Perfect Drug’ by NIN. The fans pop as New ERA President Marcus LaRoque steps from behind the curtain. Behind him, two ring attendants roll out a lottery ball machine.)
GHEORGHE: “What is going on here?”
JIVE: “Apparently LaRoque is doing a guest lotto drawing for the Bahamian government..”
(LaRoque grabs a microphone from off his belt.)
LaROQUE: “Good evening Santiago!”
(Crowd pops.)
LaROQUE: “I hope you all are enjoying RAUCOUS … and as we still have more action to come .. but right now, I want to witness a little something.”
(The crowd quiets.)
LaROQUE: “You know that Mr. Entertainment has a Television Championship match later tonight..”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!)
LaROQUE: “He has been calling himself the ‘Now On Television’ champion as of late..”
JULIUS: “That’s because the Television Championship was hardly on television before he became champion!”
JIVE: “Shut up and listen, motormouth.”
LaROQUE: “Well it got me thinking.. he had a point.. so tonight .. I figured why not do things a little bit differently. That’s why .. right here before you all, I’m going to RANDOMLY draw a name out of this lotto machine. Every single superstar in New ERA of Wrestling has their name in here. From the two men you just saw .. to the two men you’ll see wrestle in the shopping mall later tonight ..”
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
GHEORGHE: “Is LaRoque going to randomly draw a challenger for the Television Championship tonight?”
LaROQUE: “That’s why … I’m going to randomly draw a challenger for the Television Championship tonight …”
(CUTTO: Announce table, both Jive and Julius roll their eyes at Gheorghe…)
LaROQUE: “And next week .. when RAUCOUS continues on the BEAT the HEAT tour … the Television Champion, whether it be Cameron Cruise or Mr. Entertainment, will have to defend their title in one of the main events!”
(SFX: CROWD POPS!)
LaROQUE: “Guys, will you get the machine rolling?”
(The two ring attendants start rolling the machine as the balls begin to roll around..)
JIVE: “LaRoque must be desperate for ratings now that the women have gone.”
GHEORGHE: “Could you imagine .. either Jonathan Marx or Shawn Hart holding both the World Heavyweight Championship .. AND the Television Championship?”
(LaRoque rolls up his sleeve as the machine slows down. He sticks his hand in .. fumbles around for a few moments, and pulls a ball out. He looks at it .. and then holds it forward so the camera can see.)
LaROQUE: “And the lucky wrestler who’ll have his shot at the Television Championship …… ‘SENSATIONAL’ …. STEVEN …. SHANE!”
(SFX: Crowd pops!!)
GHEORGHE: “Steven Shane is going to have a shot at the Television Championship!”
JULIUS: “But he’s been here for like, 20 minutes!”
GHEORGHE: “Marcus LaRoque deciding to mix things up for the Television Championship .. and now next week either Cameron Cruise or Mr. Entertainment will have to defend the Television Championship against Shane!”
(LaRoque exits the stage as his music cues back up. CUTTO: Announce table.)
JULIUS: “Whoop-de-fucking-doo.”
GHEORGHE: “RAUCOUS will be coming from Puerto Rico … and it looks like there’ll be multiple main events once more as Steven Shane gets the Television Championship shot .. but right now .. I can see the New Years Ball lowering . and it looks like we’re going to be seeing Chaos attempt to extract some revenge from ‘the Messenger’ Trevor Cane.”
JULIUS: “You can kiss Trevor Cane goodbye .. I know Nick’s already done it..”
JIVE: “I’m about ready to …”
JULIUS: “And no .. I will not kiss you when the Ball Drops.”
GHEORGHE: “Ha, ha! Let’s go to Carl Jacobs for the ring introductions!”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs. The lineup slowly “drops” as a mini-count down goes on next to it.)
New Years Ball Drop Match
Chaos vs. Trevor Cane
JACOBS: “The following match is a special New Years Ball Drop match … and therefore has no time limit .. The only way to win is to ascend a ladder and cause the replica of the New Years Ball to drop onto your opponent..”
(CUEUP: ‘Unkind’ by Destrophy.)
JACOBS: “Introducing first .. hailing from Sarasota, Florida … here is ‘the MESSENGER’ .. TREVOR CANE!”
(Cane walks through the curtain to jeers from the crowd. He pays them no attention as he slowly walks to the ring, carefully avoiding the ladder.)
GHEORGHE: “Trevor Cane is the reason why MWG is the PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion right now ..”
JIVE: “Sucks for him… because he’s going to be sent home in a different kind of box after tonight than the one he was hiding in on RAPTURE.”
(CUEUP: ‘You Could Be Mine’ by Guns n’ Roses.. Chaos charges through the curtain and runs to the ring!)
JACOBS: “His opponent .. hailing from Las Vegas, Neva…”
(Chaos slides into the ring and goes right after Cane, causing Jacobs to scatter! SFX: Bell rings.)
SHORTFORM
BEGINNING: This match started off exactly how you would think it might. Chaos totally went for the jugular straight from the start after Trevor Cane cost him the P©X Championship on RAPTURE. Cane had not even stepped into the ring before Chaos was over slamming those huge forearms straight into the back of the head. Cane was doubled over, and that let Chaos pause from the forearm beating to grab his hair and slam him backwards into the mat by it. Chaos wasted no time grabbing the ladder. Except, instead of sliding to the outside, he just reached right over the top rope and brought it in.. fully opened and all! Chaos went to set it up to use on Trevor Cane, but Cane had recovered from the earlier beating. Cane came from behind and smashed Chaos’ head right into the steel. Chaos reeled backwards, shocked, but that only seemed to make Cane more determined. ‘The Messenger’ then grabbed the former P©X champion by the arm and irish whipped him into the ropes. Chaos came back, and Cane tripped him face first into the bottom rung of the ladder with a drop toe hold. The ladder fell and Cane did not stop there. He grabbed the ladder and held it high over his head before he brought it down with force. Cane did this two more times as Chaos kept trying to get to his feet. Cane let Chaos get halfway to his feet before bouncing off the far ropes and finally driving Chaos’ head one last time into the ladder with a bulldog. ‘The Messenger’ set up the ladder while Chaos was on the mat and began to make the ascent to the top. He was halfway there when Chaos began to get up. Chaos was close enough to the ladder to be able to push it, and this forced the ladder over, sending Cane right into the ring ropes. Cane landed balls first on the top rope and eventually tumbled over to the floor.
2nd QUARTER: Chaos wouldn’t be able to win the match with Cane on the floor, so he rolled out after him. With both men on the floor, Chaos began to seriously take it to ‘the Messenger.’ He grabbed Cane by the head and started to whip him from side to side into the guardrail. With Cane hitting back first against each guardrail, Chaos had an opening. He scooped him up and slammed him to the arena floor. Chaos then began stomping a mudhole into Cane. Cane tried to crawl away, making it halfway underneath the ring. Chaos grabbed Cane by the feet and drug him out. Chaos rolled him into the ring and got in afterwards. Cane tried to crawl away, but Chaos wouldn’t let him. Chaos picked him up and chokeslammed him down. Chaos took the ladder and laid it on the mat. He then irish whipped him into the ropes. When Cane returned, Chaos grabbed him by the waist, picked him up high in the air and dropped Cane face first into the ladder. It was Chaos’ turn to set the ladder up. He climbed the ladder and made it to the top. While he ws working on releasing the rope holding the New Years Ball, Trevor Cane was using the ladder to get to his feet. Cane then climbed the ladder and caught up to Chaos. Both men were on he top of the ladder and they began to fight it out. Chaos, of course, was able to get the upperhand and Cane was reeling. However Cane steadied himself and landed a well placed right hook that caused Chaos’ feet to slip sending him flying off the top of the ladder. On the way down, Chaos hit his head on the top of the turnbuckle pad laying him out.
3rd QUARTER: With Chaos not underneath the New Years Ball, Trevor Cane did the best thing he could think of .. Cane climbed to the very top of the ladder .. and then flew off nailing an elbow drop right into the chest of the former P©X Champion. Both men lay on the mat, and surprisingly, Trevor Cane managed to get to his feet first! He went around to the ladder and superkicked it causing the ladder to topple over right onto Chaos! Cane didn’t stop there! He ran over to the corner, and hopped onto the top. Putting his own body in the line of fire he flew off with a moonsault and landed on the top of the Chaos .. and the ladder! Cane rolled off holding his ribs, and Chaos was still underneath, not moving. The referee made sure to check on both men to see if this match should continue. He was reassured by Cane that he was able to get up. Trevor Cane used the ropes to start getting to his feet. As he did .. the crowd was shocked as the ladder was pushed to the side .. and Chaos began sitting up! Trevor Cane turned around and was in complete awe as the big man began getting to his feet. Cane made his way over to stop Chaos from getting up.. With his hands above his head for the double axehandle, Cane was stopped in his tracks by a big right hand from Chaos! Cane was turned around, and Chaos grabbed his leg tripping him. Cane went tumbling down, and hit the edge of the ladder with his chin! The ladder cut Cane underneath the chin and the blood began to flow. Chaos seemed to be renewed with his challenger busted open. His eyes lit up, Chaos finally made it to his feet. He took Cane by the head, giving no thought to the blood pouring from the gash, and placed Cane’s head between his legs. Within seconds Cane was up and down, crashing onto the ladder as the victim of a powerbomb. Chaos then rolled to the outside of the ring .. and the fans popped humongously when he went underneath the ring .. and came out .. with a lighttube! Even more, the lighttube was shining bright as an extension cord was plugged into one of the breakers underneath the ring. Chaos slid into the ring with it in his hand and waited for Cane to get to his feet. The medic crew readied themselves backstage for sure, as Chaos slammed the lighttube down on top of Cane’s head as he got to his feet, shattering everywhere and sending a huge spark in the air!
END: The wheels started to fall off for Cane towards the end of the match. Still trying to recover from being powerbombed onto the ladder, he wasn’t able to avoid Chaos’ overpowering offense. Chaos literally shook the ring when he sent Cane flying into the corner. Cane was resting in the corner while Chaos grabbed the ladder from off the mat. Chaos held the ladder … and proceeded to knock one out of the park, literally, as he swung the ladder like a baseball bat, sending Cane to the arena floor. Chaos then tossed the ladder of the top rope right onto ‘the Messenger’ on the floor. Chaos hopped over the top rope, and picked up the ladder before sliding it back into the ring. Cane followed suit as Chaos rolled him in the ring. Calling for the end of the match, Chaos body slammed Cane in the middle of the ring. Chaos then set up the ladder to the side of Cane and began climbing to the top. He did so and began fiddling with the rope holding the New Years Ball. Chaos was having problems with the rope, which allowed Cane to recover. Cane bounced against the ropes and on the way back he dropkicked the ladder causing it to waver back and forth, with Chaos still on top. Trevor Cane went against the ropes again and again came back with a dropkick. The ladder did not seem to tumble .. probably because Chaos’ weight was keeping it grounded. Trevor Cane then decided to keep one foot on the ground to add more force to the kick … and this time after the superkick, the ladder began to fall. However Chaos stayed in the air .. as he hung from the New Years Ball! While Chaos might not have been able to untie the rope … gravity and his weight sure as hell did! Chaos and the New Years Ball both fell from 15 feet in the air. Chaos hit the mat hard … and the New Years Ball fell straight on top of a horrified Trevor Cane who was not able to get out of the way in time, becoming engulfed completely inside! The bell rang and the referee helped Chaos to his feet, himself now bloodied.
WINNER: Chaos after the New Years Ball fell on top of Trevor Cane because Chaos was forced to hang from it due to the ladder being kicked out from underneath him at 19:35.
JULIUS: “WOW! Both of them look like they have gone through hell!”
JIVE: “I can’t even see Cane!”
GHEORGHE: “Trevor Cane … is engulfed in the New Years Ball! What a match! Chaos looks to have gotten revenge .. for now! We’ve got to take a quick commercial break .. and when we come back … we’ve got the Television Championship on the line … and we have two HUGE main events!”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
(CUTTO: Announce table.)
GHEORGHE: “We are just moments away from the Television Championship match between Cameron Cruise and Mr. Entertainment .. and I’m still blown away from what we just saw.”
JIVE: “I don’t think I’ve seen Chaos as vulnerable hanging from that Ball ever.. but in the end it worked out in his favor.”
JULIUS: “I’d say!”
GHEORGHE: “Right now .. Cameron Cruise will try to finally win the elusive Television Championship … let’s go to Carl Jacobs!”
(CUTTO: In the ring as the lineup comes on screen.)
Television Championship
Cameron Cruise vs. Mr. Entertainment (c)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall and has a thirty minute time limit .. it is for the New ERA of Wrestling Television Championship!”
(CUEUP: ‘Headstrong’ by Trapt as Cameron Cruise enters the arena followed by Mercedes Devon.)
JACOBS: “He hails from Jacksonville, North Carolina .. being led to the ring by his wife, Mercedes Devon-Cruise .. he is the #1 contender to the Television Championship … CAMERON CRUISE!”
(Crowd pops. Cruise rolls into the ring. CUEUP: ‘That’s Entertainment!’ by the Jam. The crowd immediately begins to jeer as a lone spotlight hits the stage. Mr. Entertainment steps into it.. the belt glimmering.)
JULIUS: “LOOK AT HIM! Just look at him! That’s a champion!”
JACOBS: “His opponent … he hails from Ashland, Oregon … he is the current holder of the New ERA of Wrestling Television Championship ….. MISTER … ENTERTAINMENT!”
(Entertainment makes his way to the ring .. he rolls in and takes the Championship off his waist, not giving it to the referee, but placing it gently in the corner.)
GHEORGHE: “And Entertainment doesn’t want to give the referee the title!”
JIVE: “Would you want his greasy hands smudging your championship?!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
SHORTFORM
BEGINNING: Mr. Entertainment started the match off on his terms. Cruise went in for the collar and elbow lock up, but the Television champion stepped out and decided to retie his boots. Cruise looked on as Entertainment was in the corner and the referee would not let him in. Entertainment gave Cruise a thumbs down, which caused Cruise to lose his cool and charge into the corner. Entertainment sidestepped him and let Cruise run right into it. Entertainment then grabbed him by the arm and irish whipped him into the opposite corner, causing Cruise to hit chest first. Cruise stumbled backwards, shocked, and Entertainment was right there with the roll up. Cruise quickly regained his composure, though, and was out by two. Entertainment got to his feet and caught Cruise with an arm drag as Cruise got up. Entertainment got ready for another arm drag, but Cruise had him scouted as Entertainment received a kick to the head instead. The Television champion was on the mat holding his head as Cruise dropped down on top of him and began driving closed fists into his face. The referee warned Cruise about the fists, but he didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass. Cruise then dragged, literally, Mr. Entertainment to his feet, caught him by the waist, and brought him up and down with the gutbuster. Cruise covered, got a quick two count, and was back on his feet before you could say “Mercedes Devon is a ho.” Mr. Entertainment also got to his feet, but was sent flying thanks to a beautifully placed dropkick by Cameron Cruise. Cruise bounced off the ropes as Entertainment got to his feet, and flew through the air with a flying forearm. Mr. Entertainment ducked, however, and Cruise hit the mat and rolled underneath the bottom ring ropes.
2nd QUARTER: Mr. Entertainment stood in the ring and watched as Mercedes Devon helped Cruise back to his feet and looked at his wrist as if to say “hurry up.” Entertainment raised his arms in the air to the displeasure of the fans in the arena, and Cruise rolled back in the ring. Entertainment was on him like Michael Jackson on a Little League World Series team, and locked his head in the side headlock. Cruise quickly got out of it .. via an atomic drop. Entertainment hopped around and turned right in time to get sent inside out by a clothesline. Cruise grabbed the Television champion by the head and brought him into the corner where he proceeded to jam some knees into the midsection. Cruise then dropped to the mat while Entertainment was bent over and uppercutted him right in the jaw. Entertainment was wide open when Cruise got back on his feet so Cruise turned him around and starting bashing his head into the turnbuckle pads. The crowd got into it as well helping Cruise keep track .. and after ten times Cruise let Mr. Entertainment wander into the middle of the ring before flopping to the mat. Cruise grabbed the legs of Entertainment and catapulted him back into the corner for one last meeting with the turnbuckle pad. Mr. Entertainment wasn’t resting in the corner long as Cruise came up from behind, turned around, grabbed Entertainment’s neck and dropped to the mat hitting the neckbreaker. Cruise got a two count and the match continued. Cruise dropped the elbow on Entertainment and then covered him .. but this time he only got a one count. Cruise picked Entertainment off the mat and went for a swinging neckbreaker, but Entertainment blocked it. Cruise swung at him with a right hook, but Entertainment put his arm up, blocked it, and delivered one of his own that sent Cruise down to the mat!
3rd QUARTER: Entertainment managed to pick up his offense in the next few minutes as he landed blow after blow into the torso of Cruise. Cameron Cruise tried to stop the Television champion with a flying crossbody after an irish whip, but Entertainment dropped to the mat letting Cruise fly over him. Mr. Entertainment quickly picked up the challenger and drilled him with an Emerald Fusion backbreaker. This time it was Mr. Entertainment who only got the two count as Cruise barely made it out of the pin attempt. Entertainment applied a chinlock and cranked the neck back as he tried to get Cruise to submit, but the challenger still had enough in him to withhold from submitting. Entertainment, seeing that the chinlock wasn’t doing much good, released the hold and began driving the back of Cruise’s head into the mat. Mr. Entertainment got up and went to the air as he climbed to the top rope. The fans in the arena gave the biggest pop of the night thus far as Entertainment flew off with the “Shooting Entertainment.” He nailed the shooting star press plus another 180 degrees crashing down on Cruise backfirst. Entertainment covered and the fans thought he got the three count .. but the ref popped up with only two fingers raised. Entertainment glared at the referee, but he didn’t let the kick out slow him down as he grabbed the arm of Cruise, twisted around him, and rolled him backwards into another pinning attempt. Once again Cruise kicked out at the very last moment. Mr. Entertainment ripped Cruise off the mat and flung him into the ropes, ducking as he came back. Cruise, in a desperation move, grabbed the head of the Television champion and DDT’ed him to the mat. With both men on the mat, the referee began his count.
END: Mr. Entertainment was the first person to get to his feet and he caught Cruise as he was getting up. Or so he thought. Cruise grabbed the head of Entertainment and brought him down for the small package nearly upsetting the champion w/ a very, very close two count. Entertainment popped back up and went to clothesline Cruise’s head off, but Cruise ducked underneath, hooked the arms, and brought Entertainment back with a standing crucifix! Entertainment once again waited till the last second before getting out of the pinning attempt. Cruise got to his feet and went to dropkick the Television champion, but Entertainment was able to swipe him aside sending him face first to the mat. Entertainment waited for him to get to his feet before hooking the head for the snap suplex. Cruise blocked it, though, and hit a suplex of his own. Cruise got up and went for a elbow drop, but Entertainment rolled out of the way. Entertainment quickly got to his feet and nailed Cruise with a superkick that sent the challenger crashing to the mat. It looked as if the match was over after Entertainment hopped onto the top rope and hit a arching moonsault .. but Cruise barely sneaked out of it. Cruise slowly got to his feet, but Mr. Entertainment was waiting .. he kicked Cruise in the gut and before you knew it Entertainment snapped Cruise against the ropes w/ the stun gun. As Cruise was coming off the ropes, the crowd saw the “That’s Entertainment!” and the Television champion got the three count. As Carl Jacobs raised the microphone to his mouth to announce the result, a loud screeching noise hit the loudspeaker. Jacobs attempted to talk, but nothing could be heard. All of a sudden a familiar voice came over the loudspeaker..
VOICE: “And the winner of this match via pinfall .. the most technologically intelligent superstar … the only man who became level 70 in World of Warcraft before Burning Crusade was even a sparkle in Blizzard’s eyes ….. HAL!”
(Mr. Entertainment practically dropped the title on the mat as he heard this .. and the crowd began to jeer.)
WINNER: Mr. Entertainment via pinfall after hitting “That’s Entertainment!” at 15:16. Mr. Entertainment retains the championship.
GHEORGHE: “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!”
JIVE: “HAL’s hacked into the sound system here! He just announced himself as the winner! I love it!”
GHEORGHE: “Mr. Entertainment .. he looks annoyed .. HAL just stole his thunder!”
JULIUS: “That’s something you just do not do to Mr. Entertainment .. but he retained his Television Championship .. and next week Steven Shane will find out that being Sensational isn’t enough when you’re facing the most ENTERTAINING man in New ERA…”
GHEORGHE: “Things just seem to continue to be getting more and more hot here in Santiago .. and we still have the two main even…”
Expect An Invitation
(CUEUP: "Karma Slave" by Splashdown. Blue and green lights begin circling around the arena, forming the letters T-A-C-T on the crowd.)
GHEORGHE: “It looks like Larry Tact’s coming to the ring!”
JIVE: “The match isn’t supposed to start yet…”
(Larry Tact steps out onto the stage, wearing his casual attire from before. Glancing occasionally at the crowd, he walks directly to the ring, grabbing the ropes with an arm and ascending to the apron, then entering the ring. He wastes no time in calling for a mic, and receiving it from Carl Jacobs, and paces around the ring before settling at the center.)
TACT: "Tonight is a big night for New ERA of Wrestling. It's a big night because it will mark a historic moment in the history of this promotion. I've been speaking about the big picture recently, and I have an explanation for that tonight. In the weeks leading up to BattleBRAWL, I was preparing for an experience that would turn out being more brutal than anything else I have experienced in my wrestling career. After the P©X match, I was left thinking about why I bothered to put myself through it. Was it worth it? Did it really write the next chapter of my legacy? In a way it did, because I overcame all the adversity and further capped off what has been a tear of a past year."
JULIUS: “This windbag wastes no time .. in trying to steal the limelight..”
TACT: "But in another way, it was just the beginning. Make no mistake... I have every intention of becoming NEW World Heavyweight champion. That's the prize I always have an eye on, and I will not rest until I have it in my possession again. However... there are steps to climb on my way, and I want to take advantage of each and every step up. With each step, I want to give New ERA something to remember. My climb is not merely going to put me at the top of this promotion because I hold the top belt. It's going to finish with an undeniable truth. Whether anyone in the locker room wants to believe... whether management wants to believe... hell, whether the fans think so or not! I want there to be no question left... that Larry Tact is the undisputed best that this promotion has got!"
JIVE: “Come on, come on with it..”
TACT: "And there's no better way to do that than to continue taking on the best there is here. So tonight, I have proposed a match to President LaRoque... to take place at the joint New ERA of Wrestling / Empire Pro Wrestling Spring event!"
(Super pop from the crowd.)
GHEORGHE: “So THIS is why Tact was meeting with LaRoque earlier tonight!”
TACT: "But before I announce just what I have planned, let me say... this match can be as big as the potential participants want it to be. It could be a match that goes down as the greatest in this promotion's history. It can be a match that shakes up the entire landscape of New ERA of Wrestling. But that means... it can only be as big as the potential participants want it to be...."
(SFX: Crowd pops HUGE!)
TACT: "Anyone that knows anything about me knows I don't just look at how I'm doing in the ring. I scout, study, and make sure I'm prepared with the knowledge of where I am... and even where I'm not, in certain cases. I've watched the competitors of New ERA, their in-ring performances, their out of the ring actions. The result being this...."
(He pulls a small envelope out of a pocket.)
TACT: "In here is a list. It has the names of those I am issuing challenges to for the match at this joint Spring event. Over the next few weeks, I will hand out the challenge slips to those I feel have earned the chance to compete in what could be the biggest match in New ERA history. It will have everything to do with the bigger picture... the grand scheme of New ERA. You can count on that. If I hand you a slip, then I'm not just challenging you to a match. I'm challenging you to step up and show everyone in NEW... everyone in EPW... and all those watching that joint wrestling event that you are willing to achieve greatness! And if you do accept, then know you will have a chance at greatness, but it will not come easily."
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is going to personally invite people to this match! Amazing!”
TACT: "This will not be a match for those who aren't willing to earn their way. It will not be a match for those who I don't feel can hold their own under fire. If you enter into this match... come prepared...."
(He pauses.)
TACT: "FOR WAR."
(Tact tosses the microphone back to Carl Jacobs … the lineup flashes on screen for the first main event.)
MAIN EVENT #1
Tag Team Triple Threat
The Phantom Republican & Daymon vs. Jean Rabesque & Larry Tact vs. Jason Payne & MWG (c)
JACOBS: “The following match is scheduled for one fall .. and is the first of tonight’s main events! Introducing first .. he is one half of the first team .. already standing in the ring .. New ERA of Wrestling FIRST World Heavyweight champion… LARRY TACT!!”
(SFX: CROWD POPS!!!)
JULIUS: “Tact has been hitting some of the Dominican wild floras, if you know what I mean..”
(CUEUP: ‘Shapes of Things’ by the Jeff Healy Band.. the CROWD POPS!!!! as Jean Rabesque steps through the curtain. The camera cuts to a single fan wearing a white t-shirt ..)
JACOBS: “He hails from Montreal, Quebec, Canada … and is a former New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champion …. JEAN RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “Yea .. and the man he beat for the title is his partner tonight!”
(CUEUP: ‘Dogs of War’ by Pink Floyd. The crowd pops as Jason Payne begins to walk to the ring..)
JACOBS: “And the first of their opponents… he hails from Payneville, Kentucky .. ‘the Dog of War’ JASON PAYNE!!!”
(CUEUP: ‘Faggot’ by Mindless Self Indulgence. The crowd jeers as MWG steps through the curtain, the P©X Championship now showered in pretty colors.)
JACOBS: “And his teammate … he is a former Television champion .. and the CURRENT New ERA of Wrestling PRODIGY© Classic Xtreme champion … EM DUBBYA GEE!!”
(CUEUP: ‘Stones From the Sky’ by Neurosis. The crowd gives a chilly reception to Daymon, who waves them off as if he doesn’t need them anyway..)
JACOBS: “And their opponent .. hailing from Tacoma, Washington … he stands six foot two and weighs 243 pounds … DAYMON!”
(CUEUP: ‘Imperial March’ by John Williams. The crowd’s jeers drown out the voice overs by prominent GOP figures. Phantom Republican and Jeffords step from behind the curtain..)
JACOBS: “And finally .. his teammate .. hailing from Conservative Middle America … he is a former New ERA of Wrestling World Heavyweight champion….. THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
(SFX: Bell rings as Jacobs wipes the sweat off his brow!)
GHEORGHE: “Six men are in the ring right now … and this match could turn ugly in a jiffy!”
JIVE: “You mean it WILL turn ugly in a jiffy! I can’t think of one person in that ring right now who likes .. nevermind TRUSTS .. their own teammate!”
GHEORGHE: “And it looks like guys are finally taking to their corners.. Rabesque steps to the outside, as do Phantom Republican and Daymon … and now it looks like Larry Tact and MWG are going to start things off!”
JULIUS: “Someone grab me a winter jacket, it is chilly in he…”
(SFX: Fans pop..)
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT JUST SLAPPED JEAN RABESQUE ACROSS THE FACE!”
JIVE: “Woah, woah, woah!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is quickly over in the corner as Rabesque stares at Tact .. and .. now Tact is telling the referee that he was tagging in Rabesque!”
JULIUS: “Larry Tact must have thought Rabesque was looking to get in .. and boy did he ever tag him in!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee telling Rabesque to enter the ring .. and he steps through the ropes still staring at Larry Tact!”
JIVE: “Whoever made the teams for this match was a genius!”
JULIUS: “I heard it was Mr. Entertainment’s idea..”
GHEORGHE: “Oh please! Rabesque shaking his head at Tact … AND MWG COMES FROM BEHIND AND ATTACKS THE FORMER WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!”
JIVE: “MWG always the expert at coming from behind…”
JULIUS: “I’m sure you know the best out of everyone..”
GHEORGHE: “MWG slamming those forearms into the back of Jean Rabesque .. and Rabesque just went falling into his corner! MWG quickly follows him in and starts laying the boots into him ..”
JIVE: “Larry Tact certainly didn’t help things out by taking Rabesque’s attention off MWG.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG with the former World Heavyweight champion .. and now he brings him to the center of the ring and takes him over with a suplex..”
JIVE: “You need to stop referring to Jean Rabesque as the former World Heavyweight champion .. don’t’ forget .. that Larry Tact AND The Phantom Republican are also former World Heavyweight champions .. and should it be GOP versus Tact in the ring, you’re going to confuse people.”
JULIUS: “And you don’t want to do that .. Jive is already confused as it is … sexual…”
JIVE: “When does your contract run out again?”
JULIUS: “You’re stuck with me.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG grabs Rabesque as he gets up and goes behind him for the hammerlock .. and now he tags in Jason Payne..”
JIVE: “More like caressed his chest in..”
GHEORGHE: “Payne steps through the ropes .. and he just leveled Jean Rabesque with a right hand .. and now he warns MWG about his tag.”
JULIUS: “If anything the team that has the best chance of winning this match is that of GOP and Daymon .. at least they don’t have a heated history like Rabesque and Tact or Payne and MWG.”
GHEORGHE: “I would have to agree with that, Dean! Jason Payne grabs Rabesque .. and he sends him into the ropes… BUT DAYMON JUST SLAPPED RABESQUE ON THE BACK! Daymon tagged himself in!”
JIVE: “Payne doesn’t know that.”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne catches Rabesque on the way back .. BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX! He gets to his feet … AND DAYMON WITH A RUNNING KNEE TO THE FACE! Jason Payne down to the mat and now Daymon grabs him … swinging neckbreaker! Jean Rabesque rolled to the outside … and he’s heading back to his corner..”
JULIUS: “You know damn well he’s looking forward to having to stand next to Larry Tact for however long he’ll have to wait before one of them is tagged in again.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon applies the chinlock on Payne .. and Daymon has looked like a different man these past few shows .. even before BattleBRAWL 2…”
JIVE: “He’s finally coming around, Gheorghe. Daymon knows that in order to get things done here in New ERA you have to take the bull by the horns.”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne starting to get to his knees .. and he grabs the head of Daymon .. and jams Daymon’s chin right into the top of his head by falling to the mat! Jason Payne back over to his corner .. and he tags in MWG!”
JIVE: “Payne and MWG moving fluidly in the beginning of this match .. although you know that plan is going to go to hell in a handbasket.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG steps into the ring .. AND HE JUST AIDED PAYNE TO THE OUTSIDE …”
JULIUS: “With two handfulls of ass!”
GHEORGHE: “Payne shoots straight up .. and he quickly turns to protect himself… which allows Daymon to come from behind and roll up MWG … ONE …. TW—NO! MWG able to kick out .. and we’re already seeing some tension..”
JIVE: “Well, with Rabesque and Tact its tension because these two haven’t really been in the same ring since Destrucity when Rabesque won the title .. but with MWG and Jason Payne .. its a different type of tension, if you know what I mean.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon grabs the head of MWG as he gets up .. and he brings him over to his corner … and SLAMS IT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE PAD! And now Daymon tags in GOP!”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!)
JULIUS: “I can see Bahamians love Republicans!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP enters the ring … AND HE SLAPS MWG ACROSS THE FACE! MWG turns .. AND GOP FROM BEHIND WITH A BULLDOG! ONE ….. TW—NO!”
JIVE: “Daymon and GOP going for early pinfalls .. if they catch their opponents off guard they could easily end this match early on.”
JULIUS: “What fun would that be? I’m looking forward to the meltdown that is sure to occur any minute!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP grabs the leg of MWG … and he slams it into the mat knee-first! GOP now wrapping his legs around it … and he falls backwards to the mat trying to hyperextend the knee of MWG!”
JIVE: “GOP is excellent at working over a body part … but then again, so isn’t MWG…”
GHEORGHE: “And you wonder why Dean keeps harping on you.”
JULIUS: “Believe me, Gheorghe .. I wouldn’t do ANYTHING on Jive.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP on the mat with the lock on the knee .. and MWG reaches forward and grabs him by the mask! GOP trying to maintain control … but MWG sticks a finger in the eye hole and GOP releases the hold!”
JIVE: “MWG is far away from his own corner … but he’s close enough to crawl to Larry Tact .. and he just tagged in Tact!”
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT HOPS OVER THE TOP ROPE AND CHARGES AT GOP!! TACT JUST SPEARED THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
(SFX: Crowd popping repeatedly!)
GHEORGHE: “And the fans are on their feet as Tact repeatedly punching GOP in the head with those closed fists … and the referee finally stepping in to try to get Tact to open the fists up.”
JIVE: “As I see it, the referee’s gestures are symbolic right now .. he knows that they’re not going to listen to him much longer, so he’s trying to exert as much control in the early goings as possible.”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact rips GOP off the mat and flings him into the corner .. AND HE JUST CLOTHESLINED THE HEAD RIGHT OFF OF GOP! Tact grabs GOP’s arm .. and he sends him across the ring into the opposite corner!”
JIVE: “Right next to Jean Rabesque..”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque quickly wraps his arm around the head of GOP .. and he’s holding him there!”
JULIUS: “What a cheater! I can see he hasn’t changed one bit!”
GHEORGHE: “AND HERE COMES LARRY TACT WITH THE SPLASH IN THE CORNER!”
JIVE: “Poor GOP!”
GHEORGHE: “AND JEAN RABESQUE JUST SLAPPED TACT ACROSS THE CHEST! Rabesque is now entering the ring!”
JIVE: “Tact and Rabesque need to learn how to tag in like civilized men .. we don’t live in prehistoric times anymore .. although, who knows w/ Rabesque .. he’s been mute since coming back!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque now in the ring with the man who beat him for the World Heavyweight Champio…”
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
GHEORGHE: “LARRY TACT JUST SLAPPED RABESQUE ACROSS THE BACK OF THE HEAD!! Now Tact’s getting back in the ring!”
JULIUS: “GOP on his hands and knees .. and Larry Tact is headed straight for him before Rabesque has a chance to retalia.. I mean, tag himself back in.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact coming over to GOP .. and he punts him in the gut! GOP rolls onto his back .. and now Tact down on the mat and lays into him with more fists! GOP grabs the ropes and pulls himself into them and the referee is now trying to get Tact to step back!”
JULIUS: “GOP just wandered into the wrong corner with Payne and MWG there .. and now they both grab onto him and nail him with the double headbutt… the referee is telling one of them to get into the ring!”
GHEORGHE: “But who!”
JIVE: “I don’t think he cares right now.”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne stepping into the ring .. and Larry Tact goes back and tags in Rabesque!”
JIVE: “At least that was a normal tag this time.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque steps into the ring and he and Payne meet up in the middle of the ring .. Payne pushes Rabesque backwards and Rabesque against the rope .. he comes off and nails Payne with a left hand! But Payne merely takes a step backwards!”
JULIUS: “Jason Payne is not a stable person … he’s been busted up pretty badly before and his psyche just isn’t .. well …”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque against the ropes again .. and he comes off and nails another fist to the face! Jason Payne shaking them off ..”
JIVE: “Thank you ma’am, can I have another!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque against the ropes a third time .. and this time Payne puts up the boot! BUT RABESQUE SIDESTEPS HIM! Rabesque against the opposite ropes … Payne turns .. AND JEAN RABESQUE WITH A CROSSBODY BLOCK! ONE ….. TWO …. KICKOUT!”
JULIUS: “Rabesque was waiting, and Payne fell right into the trap.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque rolls off of Payne … and he slaps Daymon’s hand as it was resting on the turnbuckle pad! And now Daymon is getting in the ring!”
JIVE: “Rabesque heading back to his corner .. and now Daymon is walking over to Payne as he gets to his feet.”
JULIUS: “Daymon just kicked Payne right in the jaw sending him back to the mat .. and now he drives the elbow right into the back of the head.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon showed a lot of guts in the BattleBRAWL rumble and in the Television Championship match last RAUCOUS .. he has certainly caught the eye of New ERA management landing a spot in this match.”
JULIUS: “He’s in there with the cream of the crop ..”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne getting to his feet again as Daymon comes forward … but Payne with a shot to the gut stops Daymon in his spot! Daymon comes in again .. and Payne with another! Jason Payne now grabs the arm of Daymon and sends him flying into the ropes … AND CATCHES HIM ON THE RETURN WITH A POWERSLAM! ONE ….. TWO …. KICKOUT!”
JIVE: “Jason Payne now back to his feet … and he tags in MWG! Payne grabs Daymon as MWG climbs to the top rope .. and MWG comes down and nails Daymon with a double axehandle! These two are working surprisingly well as a team so far.”
GHEORGHE: “MWG with Daymon .. and he drops a leg. The P©X champion now has Daymon on his knees … MWG goes behind .. and locks on a chinlock .. of a sorts!”
JULIUS: “It looks like he’s riding him like a bull!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG sitting on the back of Daymon .. and he just kicked his legs against the sides of Daymon … AND NOW DAYMON POWERS BACKWARDS AND SLAMS MWG ONTO THE MAT!”
JIVE: “I don’t see a rodeo in MWG’s future, that’s for sure.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon and MWG both getting to their feet … MWG with a ri.. no! Daymon blocks the punch .. and delivers one of his own! Daymon with another … and another! MWG being backed up into the corner … AND DAYMON WITH AN ELBOW TO THE FACE! Daymon now whips MWG across the ring to the opposite corner … he gets some steam … AND FLIES INTO THE CORNER AFTER HIM WITH THE PHANTOM TRAIN!”
JULIUS: “Speaking of Phantoms … Phantom Republican just tagged himself into the match!”
JIVE: “GOP doesn’t want to let Daymon get all the attention..”
GHEORGHE: “GOP in the ring and he grabs MWG …. AND PUTS HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! Phantom Republican climbing up as Daymon holds MWG’s legs … both men on the top rope as GOP hooks the arm….. AND HE COMES OFF WITH A SUPERPLEX! GOP with the cover ….. ONE ……… TWO ……. TH—NOO!! Jason Payne got in the ring and broke up the attempt!”
JIVE: “Jean Rabesque looked like he was going to come into the ring as well!”
GHEORGHE: “Payne being sent back to his corner … GOP grabs MWG by the hair … and hits a European uppercut! Where’s GOP going now?”
JULIUS: “He’s walking right over to the corner of Rabesque and Tact!”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!)
GHEORGHE: “AND PHANTOM REPUBLICAN JUST SLAPPED LARRY TACT ACROSS THE FACE!! The referee saw it and is now telling GOP to get out of the ring! Tact not waiting as he flies into the ring …. AND HE SPEARS GOP!!! LARRY TACT AND GOP ROLLING ON THE MAT!”
JIVE: “GOP isn’t even the legal man anymore! Come on ref, get in there and break it up!”
GHEORGHE: “AND HERE COMES DAYMON! NOW JEAN RABESQUE IS IN THE RING!”
JULIUS: “You knew this would happen eventually!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque … RABESQUE JUST PULLED LARRY TACT OFF OF GOP!! NOW RABESQUE IS WAILING AWAY ON GOP!”
JIVE: “Daymon’s got a hold of Rabesque .. but Larry Tact spins him around … kick to the gut .. AND HITS THE KICKSWING DDT!”
GHEORGHE: “The referee is trying to get control of this match … AND HERE COME MWG AND JASON PAYNE! Larry Tact gets to his feet … AND THEY HIT HIM WITH THE DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!”
JULIUS: “MWG just went for a high five but Jason Payne shook his head at him and is going for Daymon.. I don’t even remember who the legal men are anymore.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact and Payne are the legal men I believe… MWG now going behind Jean Rabesque … AND HE REACHES UNDERNEATH AND TRIES TO GRAB HIS CROTCH!”
JIVE: “Rabesque was on his feet quicker than you could see Bonjour!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque turns to look at MWG .. and now MWG puckers his lips and sends him an air kiss … AND RABESQUE WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! Rabesque places MWG’s head between his legs … AND COMES DOWN WITH THE PILEDRIVER!”
JIVE: “The referee has finally gotten GOP to his corner … but he’s still got three other men to get out of the ring.”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne grabs Daymon … AND HE SENDS HIM FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!”
JULIUS: “Payne should have done that in New York City .. he’s a little late for the rumble.”
GHEORGHE: “Payne now turns … AND LARRY TACT OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A CLOTHESLINE SENDING HIM RIGHT AFTER DAYMON!”
JIVE: “Payne turned his back for only a second, but Tact was up for the double clothesline …”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque and MWG are back in their corners it seems .. and this match has finally calmed down.”
JULIUS: “That was only the first round of what will surely be a 12 rounder.”
GHEORGHE: “Payne getting to his feet on the outside .. and Larry Tact reaches over and grabs him by the head … BUT PAYNE GRABS THE HEAD OF TACT AND PULLS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE! Payne has Tact … AND HE JUST LAUNCHED HIM INTO THE GUARDRAIL! Tact just hit his throat on the top of the guardrail!”
JULIUS: “Jason Payne might not look intelligent .. but he’s got great ring awareness.”
GHEORGHE: “Payne scoops Tact off the arena floor and rolls him into the ring before following in after him ..”
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE!!!!)
GHEORGHE: “AND JASON PAYNE JUST SLAPPED JEAN RABESQUE HARD ON THE CHEST AND TOLD HIM TO GET INTO THE RING!”
JIVE: “WHAT!”
GHEORGHE: “Payne walks back to his corner as Rabesque looks at the referee..”
JULIUS: “But Rabesque and Tact are on the same team..”
GHEORGHE: “AND THE REFEREE IS TELLING RABESQUE TO GET IN THE RING!”
JIVE: “Well, I don’t think Rabesque minds to tell you the truth!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is in the ring and he’s slowly circling Larry Tact … and now Tact is using the ropes to get to his feet!”
JULIUS: “There’s no way they’ll actually wrestle .. Rabesque is waiting for Tact to see what he was going to go against .. but you know he’s going to tag out to someone else .. he CAN’T wrestle Tact if they want to win this thing.”
JIVE: “So .. tell me .. if Rabesque were to pin Tact, or vice versa, would Rabesque and Tact win … AND lose the match?”
GHEORGHE: “I have no clue!”
JULIUS: “Won’t happen.”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque now walking behind Tact …. AND TACT TURNS AND IS STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH RABESQUE!”
JULIUS: “Larry Tact staring a hole into Rabesque .. and he’s saying something to him … but Rabesque isn’t responding at all.”
(SFX: CROWD EXPLODES!!!)
GHEORGHE: “AND LARRY TACT GRABS THE LEGS OF RABESQUE AND BRINGS HIM DOWN TO THE MAT!! TACT NOW ON TOP OF RABESQUE AND HE’s WAILING AWAY!!”
JULIUS: “I can’t believe it! They’re both stupider than I ever imagined!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact doesn’t care who is in the ring with him! He gets off Rabesque … AND NOW HE RUNS INTO THE CORNER OF DAYMON AND GOP AND HE JUST KNOCKED GOP OFF THE APRON TO THE FLOOR!”
JIVE: “He just got GOP all fired up… GOP’s coming into the ring now!”
JULIUS: “Did he technically just tag in GOP?”
GHEORGHE: “I don’t think either man cares as GOP slides into the ring and HE JUST CLOTHESLINED TACT FROM BEHIND! GOP now grabs Tact .. and Rabesque is getting to his feet, too …. AND GOP SLAMS BOTH THEIR HEADS TOGETHER!”
JIVE: “The referee is telling GOP he’s the legal man!”
JULIUS: “And I think GOP just asked the ref who the other legal man was as the referee pointed to Rabesque..”
GHEORGHE: “GOP grabs Rabesque and he … he’s placing his arms into the ropes! GOP HAS LOCKED RABESQUE INTO THE ROPES!!”
JIVE: “And now he’s verbally laying into Rabesque!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP is screaming at Rabesque … and he just slapped him! Rabesque staring at GOP … and look at the fire burning in Rabesque’s eyes!”
JIVE: “Too bad that looks can’t win matches… HA.”
(A voice rings out on the outside of the ring..)
VOICE: “RABESQUADOOOOOOOOOR!.... RABESQUADOOOOOOOOR!”
GHEORGHE: “What is LARRY TACT DOING?”
(The camera cuts over to Tact, who is cupping his hands and yelling at Rabesque..)
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is using that Rabesquador slur against his own teammate!”
JIVE: “And it looks like he’s trying to get the fans to chant it along with him!”
(A small chorus of RABESQUADOR! chants start.. although they’re quickly drowned out by cheers.)
GHEORGHE: “AND RABESQUE JUST GOT AN ARM FREE! AND HE GRABS GOP BY THE THROAT!”
JIVE: “Uh.. oh..”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque shaking his other arm … AND HE GETS THAT ONE FREE NOW … AND RABESQUE HAS BOTH HANDS AROUND THE THROAT OF GOP!”
JULIUS: “He’s choking him! Where the hell is the referee now?!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque has a … NO! GOP with a thumb to the eye! GOP … he just tagged in Daymon! GOP points up top .. and Daymon is heading to the top rope! Daymon … he’s perched on the top rope as GOP positions Rabesque between h…… NO!! JEAN RABESQUE WITH A BACK BODY DROP!”
JULIUS: “BUT DAYMON IS STILL THERE!”
GHEORGHE: “AND DAYMON FLIES OFF WITH A MISSILE DROPKICK NAILING RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “GOP is forced out of the ring .. and if they hit the spike piledriver, Jean Rabesque would have been out quicker than the Grizzlies left Vancouver!”
JULIUS: “They were there for like 5 years, dumbass.”
JIVE: “But they’re not there anymore! And they were Canadian!”
JULIUS: “You .. are ..”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon walking around Rabesque .. and he is kicking him!”
JIVE: “He’s more nudging him…”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque being nudged .. all the way to the corner where Jason Payne and MWG are! And now Jason Payne reaches over and he tags himself in!”
JULIUS: “Obviously Daymon didn’t feel like Jean Rabesque was worthy of his attention.”
GHEORGHE: “It wouldn’t surprise me with the way Daymon’s been acting lately.”
JULIUS: “Jason Payne gets in the ring … and now he and Daymon lock up … Payne with an irish whip .. NO! Daymon reverses! Payne goes against the ro…”
(SFX: Crowd pops!)
GHEORGHE: “AND LARRY TACT JUST PULLED DOWN THE TOP ROPE CAUSING PAYNE TO GO TUMBLING OVER!”
JIVE: “More importantly, he just tagged himself in!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon stands in the middle of the ring with his hands on his hips … and Larry Tact is now in the ring! Both men staring at each other … AND DAYMON MAKES THE FIRST MOVE! Daymon ducks underneath Tact’s clothesline attempt … Tact turns … BUT HE AVOIDS THE DROPKICK! Daymon hits the mat and pops back to his feet .. BUT TACT GRABS HIM! TACT WITH A GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!”
JIVE: “Doesn’t Larry Tact know that Larry Tact was SO 2004?”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact now grabs Daymon .. AND HE SENDS HIM INTO THE CORNER! Tact comes in … BUT DAYMON WITH A KICK TO THE GUT! Daymon with another! Daymon now turns things around and sends Tact into the corner! AND DAYMON REPEATEDLY DRIVING HIS BOOT INTO THE STOMACH OF LARRY TACT!! He’s driving him down to the mat!”
JULIUS: “Daymon is like a man possessed… not letting up at ALL.”
GHEORGHE: “Tact is on the mat .. AND DAYMON PUTS THE BOOT ON HIS THROAT!! The referee quickly counting Daymon … one … two … three .. fo—no … Daymon lets up … and he brings Tact over to his corner .. and now Daymon tags in GOP!”
JULIUS: “And he is telling GOP to go to the top rope!”
JIVE: “He just told GOP that he was going to show him how to execute!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP doing a double take at Daymon … and he’s heading to the top rope! GOP on top .. AND DAYMON BRINGS TACT UP ……. SPIKE PILEDRIVER AS GOP COMES DOWN GRABBING ONTO TACT’s LEGS!”
JIVE: “And GOP with the cover! ONE …………….. TWO ……………. THREE!”
JULIUS: “NO! Rabesque broke it up!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque doesn’t want to lose this match thanks to Larry Tact .. but that’s a real possibility in this tag match …”
JIVE: “It’s a possibility in any tag match… duh.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP brings Tact back to his feet as Rabesque is ushered back to his corner .. and he tags in Daymon! GOP holding Tact ….. AND DAYMON WITH A SUPERKICK SENDS TACT BACK DOWN!”
JULIUS: “NO! TACT DUCKED AND DAYMON HIT GOP!”
GHEORGHE: “AND TACT WITH A QUICK CLOTHESLINE AND ALL THREE MEN ON THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Dammit Larry Tact! Always messing up plans!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon rolling onto his stomach as he holds his face .. and GOP looks to be out … Larry Tact …”
(SFX: CROWD EXPLODES!)
GHEORGHE: “AND LARRY TACT IS ON HIS STOMACH … AND HE’s CRAWLING!”
JIVE: “But he’s crawling into the wrong corner!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact doesn’t seem to notice .. but he’s crawling into the corner of Jason Payne and MWG!”
JULIUS: “MWG is holding out his hand … and Tact … he makes the tag!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG tags himself in and HE AND HE RUNS INTO THE RING! MWG grabs Daymon … DISAPPEAR HERE DDT!”
JIVE: “NO! Daymon blocked it and threw MWG off him!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact using the ropes to get to his feet … AND HE LOOKS RIGHT INTO THE EYES OF JASON PAYNE … AND PAYNE JUST WALLOPED HIM!”
JULIUS: “Here we go again!”
GHEORGHE: “AND TACT ON THE MAT JUST LOW BLOWED JASON PAYNE! Payne falls to the arena floor .. and Tact is on his feet!”
JIVE: “Rabesque’s in the ring now!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is in the ring and he grabs GOP as he was getting to his feet … AND GOP IS SENT FLYING OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “Tact turns .. and he sees Rabesque standing in the ring .. AND TACT CHARGES!”
JULIUS: “Tact must think that Rabesque is the legal man as Daymon and MWG are on the mat!”
GHEORGHE: “That seems to be the case! TACT JUST NAILED RABESQUE FROM BEHIND … Rabesque turns .. and they’re jockeying for control!”
JIVE: “Neither one is the legal man!”
GHEORGHE: “Tact trying to get Rabesque … AND THEY BOTH GO OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JULIUS: “And land right next to GOP!”
GHEORGHE: “MWG getting to his feet … he grabs Daymon… BUT DAYMON WITH A SHOT TO THE BALLS! MWG buckles .. and Daymon grabs him … DAYMON HOOKS HIM …”
(SFX: CROWD ORGASMS~~!)
GHEORGHE: “BRAIN ROCKER REDUX!! BRAIN ROCKER REDUX!!”
JIVE: “The P©X champ is a sitting duck! Jason Payne is still on the arena floor .. and Tact, Rabesque and GOP are now fighting it out on the arena floor!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon standing in the middle of the ring … he’s looking down at MWG … and now he’s bringing him to his feet! Daymon .. DAYMON SCOOPS UP MWG … AND HE JUST TOSSED HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE ……….. RIGHT ONTO JASON PAYNE!”
JULIUS: “But .. Daymon had MWG beat!! HE COULD HAVE ENDED THIS MATCH!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque and GOP taking it to Larry Tact … AND GOP JUST NAILED RABESQUE IN THE FACE ……..”
(SFX: Crowd jeers!!!!)
GHEORGHE: “AND GOP SENDS RABESQUE INTO THE STEEL CHAIRS!”
(SFX: CROWD POPS!)
GHEORGHE: “AND LARRY TACT CLOBBERS GOP! Tact on the floor … he’s slamming the head of GOP into the arena floor!”
JULIUS: “Daymon is standing against the ropes … and THE REFEREE IS COUNTING MWG OUT!”
GHEORGHE: “Jason Payne and MWG are on the arena floor in a pile …”
JIVE: “MWG always wanted to be on top of Jason Payne..”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is out thanks to the steel steps .. and Larry Tact and GOP are too busy fighting each other to even notice what is going on in the ring!”
JULIUS: “THE REFEREE IS AT SIX!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon … DAYMON PUTTING HIS ARMS IN THE AIR ..”
REF: “SEVEN ….”
JULIUS: “Someone better look in that ring .. because Daymon is about to walk away with the victory for him and GOP!”
REF: “EIGHT ….”
GHEORGHE: “TACT IS ON HIS FEET! TACT IS UP!”
JIVE: “But he’s still focused on GOP and Rabesque!”
REF: “NINE ……”
GHEORGHE: “PAYNE IS ON HIS KNEES! Jason Payne sees Daymon in the ring …….. AND NOW LARRY TACT TURNS! TACT SLIDES INTO THE RING!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings!)
JULIUS: “I don’t think he made it in time!!”
GHEORGHE: “Larry Tact is in the ring … AND HE LOOKS FURIOUS!”
JACOBS: “Ladies and gentlemen … the winners of this match … BY COUNT OUT ……”
(CUEUP: ‘Stones From the Sky’ by Neurosis.)
JACOBS: “The PHANTOM REPUBLICAN …. AND DAYMON!!!”
GHEORGHE: “MY GOD!!”
JULIUS: “Everyone was so wrapped up in their own selves that they didn’t even notice Daymon tossing MWG to the outside!”
(SFX: CROWD POPS HUGE~~!)
GHEORGHE: “AND LARRY TACT JUST SPEARED DAYMON!! LARRY TACT AND DAYMON ROLLING AROUND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING!”
JIVE: “But it doesn’t matter now! Daymon beat two former World Heavyweight champions .. he beat Jason Payne and MWG …”
GHEORGHE: “AND NOW RABESQUE SLIDES INTO THE RING …… AND HE IS MET BY JASON PAYNE!! We’ve got to take a commercial break!!!”
( continued... )
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