V/O: “For years, he has walked among you.”
(More pieces fall into place. The outline of a body. Boots.)
V/O: “Climbed into the ring for you.”
(Melancholy guitar chords trickle through the speakers. You know, the emo kind.)
V/O: “Put his body on the line for you. Bled for you.”
(The picture completed, the crowd pops at the sight of Jean Rabesque, clad in ring gear.)
JIVE: “Rabesque has reached a new low..”
V/O: “Bored you.”
(The picture digitally scowls, while the crowd starts to laugh.)
V/O: “You may know him as Jean Rabesque, but the wrestling world remembers him as someone much more important.”
(Over Rabesque's body, three words come crashing onto the screen:
RABESQUEDOR
THE
BORINATOR.
The crowd goes wild at the epithet.)
V/O: “The creation has already made his return to New ERA. Now, his Inventor takes center stage...”
(CUEUP: "Trampled Underfoot"--Led Zeppelin. Robert Plant is allowed to sing the first verse before the curtain flies open and Lindsay Troy saunters out onto the stage. The crowd rises to its feet and the Queen of the Ring stops to survey her newfound subjects with a grin.)
GHEORGHE: “Lindsay Troy? Here in New ERA?”
JIVE: “Great, just what this place needs... a fricken Amazon.”
(Troy continues her slow gait down to the ring, jumping flat-footed onto the apron then corkscrew catapulting herself over the top rope. She produces a microphone from the back pocket of her jeans while the music slowly fades out.)
TROY: “So... this is where Rabesquedor calls home.”
(She nods to herself as the crowd gets louder.)
TROY: “Not half-bad, I guess. Catering was decent. The office chairs were relatively comfortable, which is important when you're signing a contract. I prefer to hit people with steel chairs, not sit on them.”
GHEORGHE: “A contract? What is she talking about?”
TROY: “You heard me right, I said a contract. I got wind of something that New ERA was offering and there was no way I was going to let the opportunity pass me by. Not when there's some unfinished business that I wanted to revisit.”
JULIUS: “I like this bitch already …”
JIVE: “I hope she hears you call her a bitch …”
TROY: “Don't worry, Rabesquedor, this isn't about you. I just wanted to rib you a bit on my way into the company. Far be it for me to finish what you started in NFW, and you're the furthest thing on my agenda at present. No, I'm here for something completely different. And I didn't come alone...”
(CUEUP: "Zero"--Smashing Pumpkins. If there was a machine to accurately gauge crowd reaction, it would have shattered by this point. From the back emerges "The Ego Buster" Dan Ryan in all his imposing glory. Not even pausing to take in the crowd reaction, he calmly walks down the ramp and climbs into the ring. Once there, he allows himself to glance out into the crowd before taking the offered microphone from Troy.)
GHEORGHE: “OH MY GOD!!! DAN RYAN! DAN RYAN HERE ON RAUCOUS!”
RYAN: “You know, I look around and I see teams lining up for shots at being the best in the business. Two years ago you couldn't find decent tag team competition anywhere and now the art is seeing a renaissance. When the call went out for tag teams, naturally it was assumed that if I were to participate it would be with my year long tag team partner, Big Dog.”
(SFX: Crowd pops huge!!)
RYAN: “After all, for nearly a year now we've held tag team gold and are in the midst of one the most dominant runs in tag team wrestling history.”
(SFX: Crowd starts chanting “RY-AN! RY-AN!”)
RYAN: “Or maybe with my most recent partner - the other half of the EUWC Tag Team Champions, Rocko Daymon - as our championship victory is fresh.”
GHEORGHE: “I can’t believe what we’re seeing right now .. Lindsay Troy .. Dan Ryan .. right here in a New ERA ring!”
JULIUS: “The three year anniversary show has turned out to be a-okay afterall!”
RYAN: “Unfortunately, one of those men is busy with other commitments - so I said to myself... if I'm going to do this, I'm gonna do it right.”
(He looks at Troy.)
RYAN: “So what you see right here is the continuation of something that started over in WFW two years ago. When I signed with that company, I brought along Miss Lindsay Troy, Maelstrom and Christian Sands with me. Today, you see the rebirth of that same Inner Circle but more streamlined. With me is the EPW World Heavyweight Champion... and not only the most dominant woman in the sport, but one of the most dominant people in wrestling anywhere regardless of gender.”
(SFX: Crowd continues buzzing like never before.)
RYAN: “And then there's me.”
(Ryan looks over and smiles at Troy, who returns a smirk.)
RYAN: “Now I'm way too humble to mention the multiple World Titles, the Wrestler of the Year awards, the Number One Rankings in Yearly top wrestler lists, and more recently the multiple tag team successes.”
GHEORGHE: “Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy … they’re here for the tag division??!”
JIVE: “I guess you can kiss the other teams goodbye.”
RYAN: “Bottom line, if you don't know who I am - you just don't know wrestling.”
(He pauses.)
RYAN: “But one thing is for certain. Very soon you will know the true meaning of tag team wrestling domination, as the two greatest wrestlers in the world come together to begin a New ERA of tag team wrestling. And we're not going anywhere for a long.... long.... long time.”
(Ryan tosses the microphone and both he and Lindsay Troy walk out of the ring. A fan in the front row holds out his “Rabesquador the Borinator” shirt, waving it in the camera’s view.)
GHEORGHE: “I can’t believe it! I just can’t believe it! Not only this .. but Rabesque will be out here in just a few seconds ..”
JIVE: “You better believe he is NOT going to be happy.”
GHEORGHE: “You’re telling me!”
JIVE: “A lot at stake here tonight .. so let’s go and get this damn thing started already!”
(CUTTO: Carl Jacobs standing in the ring. The lineup flashes on screen.)
JACOBS: “The following match … is tonight’s SECOND MAIN EVENT … and is a FOUR MAN BATTLE ROYAL for a chance to BE .. or BECOME the #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship ….. all four men will begin in the ring at the same time … and the only way to be eliminated is to be tossed over the top rope with both feet hitting the arena floor … introducing first…”
(CUEUP: “Stones from the Sky” by Neurosis. Daymon steps through the curtain and the crowd begins to jeer.)
JIVE: “Here is a man whose changed over the past few shows .. and I’m liking what I’m seeing!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon almost won the BattleBRAWL rumble … but wasn’t able to outlast Shawn Hart .. one of the competitors in this match.”
JACOBS: “He hails from Tacoma, Washington …. DAYMON!”
(CUEUP: “Imperial March” by John Williams. The voice overs of prominent GOP leaders fill the arena to MASSIVE jeers. Jeffords holds open the curtains as the Phantom Republican slowly steps through in all his glory. Red, white and blue streamers fall from the rafters and careen down the sides of the arena.)
JULIUS: “LOOK AT GOP BRINGING THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE TO PUERTO RICO!”
GHEORGHE: “Uh.. Puerto Rico … is part of the United States.”
JULIUS: “But not REALLY, Gheorghe.. not until GOP graced them with his presence!”
JACOBS: “Introducing next … being led to the ring by Jeffords… from Conservative Middle America… he is the former New ERA World Heavyweight champion … THE PHANTOM …. REPUBLICAN!”
(CUEUP: “Nobody Does It Better” by Carly Simon. The crowd pops huge as Shawn Hart comes through the curtain, tying up the rest of his hair behind his head.)
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart .. who I can’t even believe is able to wrestle tonight after the Winter Wonderland match he had with Jonathan Marx … but here he is .. and he looks to be in good shape!”
JIVE: “Too bad this is his only shot at getting the chance to become the #1 contender .. because he won’t have the opportunity at the EPW / NEW SuperCard thanks to Jason Payne!”
JACOBS: “Third … hailing from Orlando, Florida … he is a former New ERA World Heavyweight champion …. SHAWN .. JESSICA .. HART … PhD!”
(The crowd grows silent.. CUEUP: “Shapes of Things” by the Jeff Healy Band. Jean Rabesque steps through the curtain, looking square in the ring.. the crowd EXPLODES as he comes into full view.)
GHEORGHE: “AND THE FANS REALLY MAKING NOISE FOR RABESQUE!”
JIVE: “I think they’re just trying to wake up those who’ve already fallen asleep just from him taking a few steps!”
JACOBS: “Finally … he hails from Montreal, Quebec, Canada … he is a former New ERA of Wrestling Television champion .. and a former New ER A World Heavyweight champion …. JEAN … RABESQUE!!!”
(Rabesque enters the ring, visibly annoyed from the antics just before the introductions, and stares a hole into GOP.)
GHEORGHE: “All four men are in the ring .. and this match …”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
GHEORGHE: “.. is underway! All four men standing in the ring .. and they’re carefully analyzing one another..”
JULIUS: “Looks like you spoke too soon, Gheorghe.”
GHEORGHE: “And Daymon just charged and speared Jean Rabesque to the mat! Daymon pounding away on the surprised former World Heavyweight champion …. AND GOP ATTACKS HART FROM BEHIND!”
JIVE: “Hart was watching Daymon, and he took his eyes off GOP long enough for the Phantom Republican to blindside him.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP with some axehandles right to the back of the neck .. and Hart falls to his knees! Daymon still on top of Rabesque … and GOP now hooks the head .. AND DDTs Hart!”
JULIUS: “Getting the upperhand early in this match is a huge benefit to GOP .. if he can maintain this type of control over Shawn Hart, he has a much better chance of eliminating him quickly.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon rolls off Jean Rabesque and grabs him by the head bringing him to his feet… and DAYMON WITH A HUGE DROPKICK SENDS RABESQUE FLYING BACK INTO THE CORNER!”
JIVE: “Rabesque almost flew over the top rope!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is still in that corner, and Daymon not wasting any time early in this battle royal .. he’s really being aggressive.”
JULIUS: “This is something we’ve seen the past few shows from Daymon. This aggressiveness really plays in his favor. He just wants to be careful not to be too aggressive. Rabesque’s a dinosaur, so he’s been around long enough to know how to turn that aggressiveness into Daymon’s elimination.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon coming into the corner .. but Rabesque with a boot to the gut stops him in his tracks! And Rabesque comes out … hitting the swinging neckbreaker!”
JIVE: “Was that Daymon’s neck snapping?”
JULIUS: “Naw, it was just Jean Rabesque’s bones creaking.”
GHEORGHE: “Meanwhile Phantom Republican has Shawn Hart lifted high in the air … and he drops him down to the mat with a vertical suplex… GOP sees Rabesque lifting Daymon up … AND HE CHARGES IN AND CLIPS RABESQUE’s KNEE FROM BEHIND! GOP now stomping away on Jean Rabesque!”
JIVE: “It’s a good thing that GOP is friendly with the law enforcement of Puerto Rico .. or else he could have been charged with assault of the elderly.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon getting back to his feet … and he joins with GOP as they continue to stomp on Jean Rabesque.”
JULIUS: “I bet the bitch talks now.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon continuing to stomp on Rabesque as GOP backs off …. AND GOP SPINS DAYMON AROUND! BOOT TO THE GUT … DDT!”
JIVE: “GOP is a mastermind! He let Daymon do some more damage, and then he planted him into the mat, too.”
GHEORGHE: “Phantom Republican gets back to his feet and points to his head … GOP turns to pick u… SHAWN HART FLIES ACROSS THE RING AND TAKES GOP’s HEAD OFF WITH A CLOTHESLINE! MY GOD!”
JIVE: “GOP just spun 360 in the air!”
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart grabbing Jean Rabesque as he gets off the mat … and now he grabs Daymon … AND HART BASHES THEIR SKULLS TOGETHER! Hart clotheslines Daymon .. and dropkicks Rabesque to the mat! Shawn Hart now meeting GOP as he gets to his feet … irish whip… REVERSAL by GOP … AND HART RUNS RIGHT INTO DAYMON!! Daymon .. he locks him up …… AND A HUGE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX!”
JULIUS: “Daymon wasn’t knocked down by the clothesline .. so he was waiting for someone to come his way .. and with GOP reversing the irish whip, Hart was the recipient.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon back up .. AND GOP WITH A KNEE TO THE GUT!”
JIVE: “But Rabesque is back up now, too!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP reaches back to plant a right hook into the skull of Daymon .. BUT RABESQUE GRABS HIS ARM! Jean Rabesque spins GOP around … shot to the gut .. Rabesque hooks the body … AND RUSSIAN LEGSWEEPS HIM TO THE MAT! Jean Rabesque gets back up .. and he ducks underneath a clothesline attempt by Daymon!”
JULIUS: “He was bending over to pick up his dentures after they fell out of his mouth.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon caught .. atomic drop by Rabesque sends Daymon into the corner … AND RABESQUE CHARGES IN AFTER HIM CLOTHESLINING HIM FROM BEHIND!”
JULIUS: “Daymon had not even finished hitting the turnbuckle pad chest first before Rabesque came crashing in from behind.”
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart getting to his feet now .. and you have to give him credit .. after that hellacious Winter Wonderland match where he lost the World Heavyweight championship back to Jonathan Marx, he is out here fighting against three of the best men in the business..”
JIVE: “Hart’s got balls, too bad he lacks brains.”
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart glancing in the corner as Rabesque begins to nail some reversed knife edge chops on Daymon .. and he decides to focus on Phantom Republican! Hart picks up GOP… NO! GOP WITH A SMALL PACKAGE!”
JULIUS: “Pinfalls don’t count here though!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP holding onto the attempt for a few more seconds before finally releasing, and I think he finally remembered that the only way to get rid of Hart is by tossing him over the top rope.”
JIVE: “Which is what I would be most focusing on right now if I were GOP. Shawn Hart proved at BattleBRAWL 2 that he can hang in the ring with no problems .. hell, he went in there and won the damn thing…”
JULIUS: “And isn’t it great that the man who he eliminated last, if you could even call it that, is one of the men who Hart’s competing against right now? Daymon could get his revenge tonight.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon’s chest is beet red as Jean Rabesque pulls him out from the corner .. and now Rabesque drags Daymon’s forehead across the top rope!”
JIVE: “Rope burn … that’s going to hurt for a few days.”
GHEORGHE: “Now Rabesque reaching underneath the top rope .. AND HE IS GRABBING ONTO THE HEAD OF DAYMON AND CHOKING HIM ON THE ROPES!”
JULIUS: “Anything is legal in this match, but that just shows what lack of sportsmanship and integrity Rabesque has.”
GHEORGHE: “What?! If that were GOP you’d be singing his praises!”
JULIUS: “That’s preposterous, Gheorghe.”
GHEORGHE: “…”
(Silence for a few more seconds.)
GHEORGHE: “GOP and Hart battling it out in the center of the ring .. GOP with some swift right hands has Hart reeling … Hart being backed up to the ropes … GOP now with all of his weight AND HE FORCES HART OVER THE TOP ROPE!”
JIVE: “BUT HART IS HOLDING ON!”
GHEORGHE: “And Shawn Hart quickly falls back into the ring through the ropes! Shawn Hart almost eliminated by GOP, but he was able to slide back in before GOP could get him off the ring apron.”
JULIUS: “Hart looking to repeat his performance at BattleBRAWL where he escaped elimination many a time.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP right back on him, though, as he plunges the knees into the chest of the former World Heavyweight champion.”
JIVE: “Rabesque is trying to dump Daymon over the top rope .. but Daymon’s got a deathgrip on the middle rope.”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon holding on as Rabesque tries to lift his legs up … AND DAYMON WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE! Rabesque walks away and Daymon gets back to his feet … BUT HERE COMES RABESQU…………. DAYMON JUST SENT RABESQUE UP AND OVER WITH A BACK BODY DROP!”
JIVE: “YES YES!!”
GHEORGHE: “BUT RABESQUE LANDS ON HIS FEET ON THE APRON!”
JIVE: “NOOOO!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is on his feet and Daymon doesn’t realize it as he throws his arms up in the air in celebration!”
JIVE: “TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon turns around ….. AND JEAN RABESQUE JUST FLOORED HIM WITH A RIGHT HOOK! Daymon is down on the mat … AND JEAN RABESQUE IS CLIMBING THE CORNER!”
JULIUS: “The good news is that Daymon has at least thirty minutes before he gets to the top..”
GHEORGHE: “Oh stop it! Jean Rabesque gets back in the ring .. and he goes to the second ropes ….. AND DROPS THE ELBOW ONTO THE FACE OF DAYMON!”
JIVE: “Rabesque isn’t in the clear yet .. because here comes GOP!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque turns around … AND IS MET WITH A RUNNING BOOT BY GOP! Rabesque falls backwards into the corner … and now GOP ramming his shoulder into the gut of Jean Rabesque!”
JIVE: “Shawn Hart getting to his feet .. and he is coming after GOP!”
GHEORGHE: “Shawn Hart over in the corner now …. AND NOW DAYMON IS GETTING BACK UP!”
JULIUS: “All four men are going into the same corner … this is going to be real interesting.”
GHEORGHE: “Hart reaches to grab GOP … BUT DAYMON GRABS HIS ARM …. DAYMON BENDS HART BACKWARDS ….. REVERSE DDT!”
JIVE: “GOP jumps around to protect himself … and Rabesque just pushed him forward! GOP tripped over Hart and Daymon!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP getting to his feet … AND HE IS MET BY DAYMON! Daymon with GOP ……. HARD IRISH WHIP INTO THE FAR CORNER ….. AND HE FOLLOWS RIGHT AFTER HIM WITH THE PHANTOM TRAIN!”
JULIUS: “I think GOP just got the red white and blue knocked out of him!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque shaking out the cobwebs … and he grabs Shawn Hart as …. NO! HART WITH A GO BEHIND! Shawn Hart trying to heave Rabesque over the top rope … BUT RABESQUE HOLDING ONTO HART FOR DEAR LIFE!”
JIVE: “Shawn Hart has the entire arena behind him .. listen to the fans chant ‘Let’s Go Shawn!’”
GHEORGHE: “There are no such chants, Nick!”
JIVE: “Well there should be … damn ungrateful fans!”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE GRABS ONTO THE HEAD OF HART ……… JAWBREAKER!”
JULIUS: “Daymon is in the far corner with GOP ….. and he is setting him on the top rope!”
GHEORGHE: “MY GOD ….. GOP AND DAYMON ARE BOTH ON THE ROPES NOW!”
JIVE: “One false move and both men could be gone!”
GHEORGHE: “DAYMON … HE … HE HOOKS THE ARMS ……….. SUPERPLEX!”
JULIUS: “Did you hear the sound of GOP’s body hit the mat?!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon and GOP in the middle of the ring … AND JEAN RABESQUE HAS SHAWN HART! Jean Rabesque slamming Shawn Hart’s head into the top turnbuckle pad ….. AND NOW HE PLACES HART ON TOP!”
JIVE: “Is Rabesque going to do what I think he’s going to do?!”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE IS NOW ON TOP AS WELL!! DAYMON AND GOP ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING STILL …………”
(SFX: CROWD EXPLODES~!)
GHEORGHE: “MY GOD….. JEAN RABESQUE JUST SUPERPLEXED SHAWN HART RIGHT ON TOP OF DAYMON AND PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!!! ALL FOUR MEN ARE ON THE MAT!!!”
JIVE: “This is horrible!! Horrible! GOP, Daymon and Hart are all knocked out … and Jean Rabesque is the only one moving …. please God .. don’t do this to me.”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque is getting to his feet … and the crowd is already on theirs! Listen to the crowd get behind Rabesque!”
JULIUS: “I would, but I can’t hear them over the vomiting going on in my brain right now.”
GHEORGHE: “RABESQUE IS ON HIS FEET!! Jean Rabesque … HE IS GRABBING SHAWN HART! Rabesque … he is staring Hart right in the eyes … but Hart is too woozy to pay attention …. AND RABESQUE JUST SLAPPED HIM ACROSS THE FACE TO WAKE HIM UP …”
JIVE: “You shouldn’t do that …”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque .. WITH ANOTHER SLAP! Shawn Hart stumbles backwards ……… AND JEAN RABESQUE CLOTHESLINES HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!! SHAWN HART IS ELIMINATED!”
JIVE: “NOOOOOO!!! This can’t be happening!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque has eliminated the first man in this battle royal … and he is STILL the only man on his feet!”
JULIUS: “Where are the Inner Circle when you need them?! Come on Troy, Ryan … get down here and get rid of this hack!”
GHEORGHE: “Jean Rabesque .. he walks over and grabs GOP …. AND HE IS BRINGING GOP TO THE ROPES! Rabesque …. RABESQUE WITH A SLAP ACROSS THE FACE OF GOP!”
JIVE: “He better hope that Phantom Republican doesn’t regain his senses in the next few seconds, or Rabesque will be in a world of hurt.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP takes a few steps back … but he’s still wobbling … AND RABESQUE WITH A SECOND SLAP! GOP ………… JEAN RABESQUE WITH A CLOTHESLINE ………….. AND HE JUST SENT PHANTOM REPUBLICAN OVER THE TOP ROPE!!!”
JULIUS: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”
JIVE: “If Jean Rabesque wins this thing, I am going to quit New ERA for good! I won’t be subjected to Rabesque as World Heavyweight champion a second time around!”
GHEORGHE: “Rabesque now walking over to Day…. WAIT A MINUTE…”
(SFX: CROWD POPS and JEERS at same time!)
GHEORGHE: “What is going on down there?!”
JIVE: “I don’t know .. BUT GOP IS HANGING ONTO THE SECOND ROPES FOR DEAR LIFE! I thought he was eliminated!”
(CUTTO: Ringside. GOP is holding onto the second ropes … he is trying to kick himself up …. off the back of Shawn Hart!)
GHEORGHE: “GOP IS STANDING ON THE BACK OF SHAWN HART!! HIS FEET HAVEN’T TOUCHED THE ARENA FLOOR!”
JULIUS: “THERE IS A GOD!”
JIVE: “The best part is that Jean Rabesque has no clue! He thought he eliminated GOP and Hart!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP using any means necessary to avoid elimination … including using Hart as a buffer!”
JULIUS: “The referees are over there watching just in case he should lose his balance or his grip on the ropes…”
GHEORGHE: “Meanwhile in the ring Jean Rabesque has Daymon up … and Rabesque smiling as he backs Daymon into the far ropes … and now he slaps Daymon across the face…”
(SFX: CROWD MAKES NOISE!)
GHEORGHE: “BUT DAYMON RESPONDS WITH A HEADBUTT! DAYMON WAS PLAYING OPPOSSUM!”
JIVE: “YES!!”
GHEORGHE: “DAYMON WITH ANOTHER HEADBUTT … AND A THIRD! Jean Rabesque forced to the mat … AND DAYMON SLAMS THE BOOT RIGHT IN THE JAW!”
JULIUS: “But Daymon doesn’t realize GOP is still in the match! This could be all for naught should GOP get back in!”
GHEORGHE: “AND GOP JUST ROLLED INTO THE RING! GOP NOW GETTING TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “Daymon still hasn’t seen him!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon .. he brings Jean Rabesque to his feet …. AND RABESQUE WITH A THUMB TO THE EYE! Jean Rabesque bounces off the ropes … CLOTHE… NO! Daymon ducks! Rabesque … RUNS RIGHT INTO A CLOTHESLINE BY THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
JULIUS: “Rabesque lucked out there .. if I were GOP, I would have tossed his French Canadian ass over the top rope!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon shakes off the thumb … and he turns ……. AND GOP WITH A FLYING FOREARM! Daymon is down! Rabesque is down! The Phantom Republican is in the middle of the ring and look at the smile on his face!”
JIVE: “He knows he has this in the bag … and GOP is going to go into next RAUCOUS with a shot at the World Heavyweight championship!”
JULIUS: “Or a shot .. at a shot at the World Heavyweight championship .. depending on if Marx wins the Blast from the Past battle royal.”
JIVE: “Well.. true … yea.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP reaches down and grabs Daymon … he backs him into the ropes … and he’s trying to dump him over! GOP ALMOST HAS DAYMON UP …….. BUT DAYMON WITH AN ELBOW TO THE TOP OF THE HEAD!”
JULIUS: “Daymon just won’t quit …”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon … NO! GOP WITH AN IRISH WHIP … DAYMON REVERSES……”
(SFX: LOUD CROWD JEERS!)
GHEORGHE: “NO! GOD NO! GOP JUST RAN RIGHT INTO JEAN RABESQUE AS RABESQUE WAS GETTING TO HIS FEET …….. AND BOTH MEN FALL TO THE MAT! Daymon walks over to Rabesque .. he brings him up and brings him into the corner ……. AND DAYMON WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG …. and … DAYMON IS CALLING FOR IT!”
JIVE: “Brain Rocker Redux!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon grabs Rabesque ……………………. BRAIN ROCKER REDUX!! DAYMON HITS IT IN THE CORNER! ……………….. AND HE JUST DUMPED JEAN RABESQUE OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! WE ARE DOWN TO TWO!”
JULIUS: “And America can breathe easier knowing that the French Canadian won’t be getting a shot at the World Heavyweight championship.”
JIVE: “Or a shot at a shot..”
JULIUS: “Fuck off.”
GHEORGHE: “DAYMON …. DAYMON IS BACK ON HIS FEET AND HE IS POINTING AT THE PHANTOM REPUBLICAN!”
JULIUS: “Daymon might have played second fiddle to Shawn Hart at BattleBRAWL 2 .. but you can bet here tonight he’s not going to make that same mistake!”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon grabs the Phantom Republican …… HAND OF GOD DISCUS PUNC….. NO!! GOP DUCKED!! GOP GRABS DAYMON ……… TAX BREAKER!!! TAX BREAKER!! DAYMON IS DOWN ON THE MAT! GOP IS DOWN ON THE MAT!”
JIVE: “Phantom Republican just swung this match right back into the middle after it looked like Daymon was going to walk away with a sho… well, with the match.”
GHEORGHE: “Both men … lying on their backs… Jean Rabesque and Shawn Hart both put up tremendous fights … but right now … its down to Daymon and the Phantom Republican… Daymon, who has been so dominant … GOP who has consistently proven that he deserves the World Heavyweight championship …”
(SFX: CROWD JEERS!!)
GHEORGHE: “AND GOP IS GETTING TO HIS FEET!”
JIVE: “I think Jeffords just told him that Daymon’s a Democrat… and we all know how much Democrats fuel GOP to move to action!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP .. bending down and bringing Daymon to his feet … and he hooks the arms ….. BUTTERFLY SUPLEX!”
JULIUS: “This match is going to come down to who will not make the mistake that will kill them. GOP is playing it smart by keeping it to mat moves .. safe moves.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP sits up … and he …. HE IS GOING TO THE CORNER!”
JULIUS: “And I spoke too soon.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP is climbing the corner … and he is moving VERY slowly.”
JIVE: “Is that Rabesque under the mask? He’s moving about as well as Rabesque does.”
GHEORGHE: “GOP finally on the top rope … AND HE IS GOING TO GO FOR THE STAR WARS HIGH ARCHING MOONSAU………. NO!!! DAYMON JUST SHOT UP!!! DAYMON LUNGES INTO THE ROPES ……………………………. AND GOP JUST FELL ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE PAD!”
JIVE: “He just got nutshotted by the entire turnbuckle pad!”
GHEORGHE: “AND NOW DAYMON …. DAYMON IS GOING UP TOP WITH GOP!”
JULIUS: “This makes me very anxious…”
GHEORGHE: “Daymon .. he locks the arm around the waist of GOP …….. BELLY TO BAC…. NO!!! GOP JUST FLIPPED OVER DAYMON …………… GOP LANDS ON HIS FEET!! GOP IS ON HIS FEET ON THE MAT!!!”
JIVE: “AND DAYMON IS A SITTING DUCK!”
GHEORGHE: “GOP ………….. DROPKICK TO THE LEG OF DAYMON!!!”
(SFX: CROWD JEERS HARDCORE~!!)
GHEORGHE: “GOP DID IT!!! GOP DID IT!! DAYMON JUST FELL FROM THE TOP ROPE TO THE ARENA FLOOR!! GOP HAS WON THIS BATTLE ROYAL!!!”
(SFX: Bell rings.)
JACOBS: “The winner of this battle royal match …. and the man who will go on to face the winner of the Blast from the Past battle royal next RAUCOUS …… THE PHANTOM ……. REPUBLICAN!!!!!”
(CUEUP: “Imperial March” by John Williams. Jeffords slides into the ring to help celebrate with GOP. Daymon is still lying chest first on the arena floor, breathing heavily.)
JULIUS: “GOP IS GOING TO RECLAIM HIS CROWN!”
GHEORGHE: “What an ending!! GOP flipping out of the belly to back superplex … landing on his feet on the mat …. and then dropkicking the leg out from underneath Daymon …. WOW…”
JIVE: “Daymon comes in second once again … he’s really getting good at that.”
GHEORGHE: “We’ve got to take a commercial break… but when we come back … we’re going to find out whether GOP will be taking on Jonathan Marx for the World Heavyweight championship next RAUCOUS … or if he’ll be taking on either Spectrum … Peter File .. or Larry Tact to determine who will become the #1 contender for the championship… New ERA’s third and final main event of tonight’s 3 year anniversary show … IS COMING UP NEXT!”
(CUTTO: Commercial for New ERA BANNED in the US pay per view. Coming live from the Havana Harbor!)
