scene five, tearful goodbyes
Today is the day that my love and I say our goodbyes, today is the day that he scales those steps that will lead him to his destiny... today is the day that I might never see him again.
I'd be lying if I were to write that I'm not crying... and there's a good chance that my tears shall soon stain this page as proof of their existence. I fear for my love now more then ever before, for the both of us now understand Deng Tuo's true power... the both of us realize that, for the first time in all his life... the outcome of this next battle was completely up in the air.
There have been times in the past where my love was looked at as the underdog... but for once, this battle shall not be the case. There is no underdog here, there are two evenly matched samurai with the horrific and magnificent powers of the heavens and the earth at their fingertips. My love and Deng Tuo, opposites yet equals... this is a battle that could easily be talked about for generation upon generation. Should my love succeed here, then he could very well be on his way to obtaining that amazing sword... and saving all our lands from demise.
Before he began ascending those steps to the future... my love held me tight and, without shame, wept into my shoulder. He too felt the fear of his potential demise... and for the first time in his life, he was truly afraid. He feared losing me, feared losing sight of his dreams... he feared failure.
He fears it... but he believes in success.
My love is human, he is not a man who hides behind the shadows. He does not hide his fear behind a mask as so many would, he does not pretend to be a person he is not. Deng Tuo is powered by greed and desire for higher ascension, acting not for the people in his position beside the emperor... but for himself. In a position that promotes the representation of our empire and its people, Deng Tuo treats it like a holy symbol to his great success-- for it makes him feel stronger then the emperor himself.
My love... he only wishes to bring peace and prosperity to these lands, he only wishes to finally acheive his dreams. My love is so focused and determined on these things that he could not possibly be corrupted by that position as Deng Tuo is. Deng Tuo failed us all when he allowed his thirst for power to overtake him... my love shall not.
We parted today... we parted from one another and stared into each other's eyes like never before. It was as though in that brief moment our eyes opened up a gateway to our very spirits, allowing them to dance between us in perfect harmony. We closed our eyes together and hugged strong once again, him whispering a simple comment in my ear.
"I love you, Mai... thank you for everything."
I wept, I wept my eyes dry as he did the same with me, the two of us holding each other closely. Had there been any civilians there they would have seen a rare sight, for the Wandering Samurai had never shed a tear before man in all his life. Yet now... he sheds tears for a woman-- his woman.
Me... Mai Xin. To think that he loves me so is something I can never get over... he is the perfect person in my life, and apparent I am his as well. To know that you are so perfect for someone... that is a feeling that cannot be immitated by other things.
"I love you too, Bei..."
My words still echo throughout my mind... my last words to him, 'I love you too'. Now I must wait several days... I must watch him climb those stairs for days before he reaches the top of that temple and enters the sacred battlefield. Bei... the Wandering Samurai, the rising star of our continent...
...the love of my life.
Please, please Bei... come back in one peice. Do not leave me here alone, I couldn't handle losing you. You have so much more left for you after today... you still have so much left to accomplish in your dreams...
The first part to your dream could come true in a matter of days, my love... do not let Deng Tuo slay you. Do not let him force your fall.
I'll be waiting for you... I promise.