Mittens T. Cat
League Member
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2006
- Messages
- 109
- Points
- 0
"YOU F**KING DYKE!!! YOU GOD D*MN F**KING DYKE!!! I HOPE YOUR MOM SUCKS A DICK, ONLY INSTEAD OF A DICK IT'S A POISONED DICK-LOOK ALIKE COVERED WITH POISON AND SHE INGESTS IT AND IT MAKES HER WHEEZ AND COUGH UP BLOOD AND SEMEN FOR 9 HOURS, YOU HEAR ME??? 9 HOURS. MOTHERF**KER, NINE F**KING HOURS, AND GETS HER F**KIN', VAG COVERED IN HONEY ONLY FOR IT TO BE DEVOURED BY A CLOUD OF BEES AND THEN EATEN BY YOGI F**KIN' BERA!!! THE GOD D*MN BASEBALL PLAYER, NOT THE HOMOEROTIC BEAR!!! HE LIKES PICKNICK BASKETS ANYWAY YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A..."
This, sadly, could go on for days. Not only was Mittens infuriated with the current state of affairs in the Vulva Vice Squad in general, but he was also dissapointed with the lack of participation from Don King and the San Diego Chicken.
So, Mittens stood there trashing each member, as they pretended to listen. This was, at times, as common as being married by Elvis in Vegas. They used to snap back, toss in a witty remark, offer a helpful suggestion as to where he can stick the words he just said. Lately, though, they just take it like a bunch of b*tches. Not because they were scared. Au contraire, amused is more the word.
"...I CAN'T WAIT, AND I MEAN I REALLY JUST CANNOT. WAIT. UNTIL I GO TO YOUR HOUSE, CHUCK, AND FINGER YOUR LITTLE SISTER FOR ALL THE AWFUL THINGS YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU SACK OF CAULIFLOWER DICK!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR F**KIN ARABIC GIRLS, YOU BASTARD!!! YOU F**KING GOD D*MN BASTARD F**K!"
Chuck finally offered, "I never banged an arabic chick, not sense the ol' 9/11. Scared my dick'll get blown off... i mean, not like, blown, but like, literally--"
"Blown up? Exploded?" SDC offered.
"Yeah, exploded. BOOM! No more dick, gone, like a box of Cheez-its at a Cheez-its lover's convention."
"Brilliant analogy," Don King interjected.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. This one chick, arabic right, totally hot-- but she starts screaming 'jihad! jihad!' while i'm doing her in the butt. Well, turns out she was screaming, 'too hard', haha. Paranoid fantasy I guess."
"Crazy."
It wasn't necessarily what he said that was so funny. It's just... you know, his wide, smiling mouth never moved. I mean, imagine being yelled at from a face constantly doing this: . It's enough to make men go insane honestly.
But who said these men weren't already insane? Furthermore, who said these men are men?
"...FIRST OF ALL, YOUR SEXUAL ESCAPADES, CHICKEN, ARE ABOUT AS REALISTIC AS ME. STICKING. MY. D*CK. IN. SIDE. YOUR. MOM..."
"oh, deary dear."
"GETTING. A NUT. CUMMING. INSIDE HER. AND MAKING. HER. PREGNANT."
"Wow."
"WOW WHAT? WOW, THE F**K, WHAT? 'Uhh, my name is San Diego Chicken, I wrestle in battle royals for world title shots only the leader of my group gets them instead cause I'm such a loser and nobody likes me except for my dad but not even him because he doesn't claim me when he's drunk and slaps me around like a two dollar whore and calls me 'peanut, and--' Just shut up, SHUT YOUR STUPID, CHICKEN BEAK MOTHERF**KER, YOU HEAR ME??? YOU'RE MOTHERF**KIN BEAK??? SHUT!"
"That's slightly unnecessary, and completely fabricated."
"Fabricated like my dick in your mouf?"
"...That doesn't make sense."
"Yeah, makes about as much sense as my dick in your mouf."
"You're impossible."
"Not impossible to get my dick in your mouf."
Don King interrupted, "Now, before this turns into a discussion on quantum physics and theoretical blah blah and hoo-ha theory, as to whether or not it's possible that Mittens gets stuck in a "dick in your mouf" loop. Let me remind you Mittens, shouldn't you be training for like... your match?"
"OOOOH, GOOD ONE, DON! YOU THINK I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THAT ALREADY??? YOU THINK, THE GREAT MITTENS T. CAT, THE HARDKORREST, *****EST, MOTHERF**KER THIS SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE HASN'T BEEN TRAINING? I TRAIN, OK! YOU MAY NOT SEE IT, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!"
"Faggotism doesn't directly correlate with blindess, Mittens, or did you not know that?"
"What I do know, is I see three blind faggots right in front of me who make Hellen Keller look attractive."
"That doesn't make sense."
"About as much sense as my dick in your mouf. Look, all I'm asking, is that you guys back me up-- which, besides Woolery, no one has. And Woolery's backing up is more like, 'talk about how many girls I've boned that I actually haven't, and to hell with Mittens' promo.' You know? You know? And it, it pisses me off guys. It pisses me off."
Chuck Woolery, Don King, and SDC gave a collective: "Sorry."
This roleplay ends when you a see a weiner.
8========D
This, sadly, could go on for days. Not only was Mittens infuriated with the current state of affairs in the Vulva Vice Squad in general, but he was also dissapointed with the lack of participation from Don King and the San Diego Chicken.
So, Mittens stood there trashing each member, as they pretended to listen. This was, at times, as common as being married by Elvis in Vegas. They used to snap back, toss in a witty remark, offer a helpful suggestion as to where he can stick the words he just said. Lately, though, they just take it like a bunch of b*tches. Not because they were scared. Au contraire, amused is more the word.
"...I CAN'T WAIT, AND I MEAN I REALLY JUST CANNOT. WAIT. UNTIL I GO TO YOUR HOUSE, CHUCK, AND FINGER YOUR LITTLE SISTER FOR ALL THE AWFUL THINGS YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU SACK OF CAULIFLOWER DICK!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR F**KIN ARABIC GIRLS, YOU BASTARD!!! YOU F**KING GOD D*MN BASTARD F**K!"
Chuck finally offered, "I never banged an arabic chick, not sense the ol' 9/11. Scared my dick'll get blown off... i mean, not like, blown, but like, literally--"
"Blown up? Exploded?" SDC offered.
"Yeah, exploded. BOOM! No more dick, gone, like a box of Cheez-its at a Cheez-its lover's convention."
"Brilliant analogy," Don King interjected.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. This one chick, arabic right, totally hot-- but she starts screaming 'jihad! jihad!' while i'm doing her in the butt. Well, turns out she was screaming, 'too hard', haha. Paranoid fantasy I guess."
"Crazy."
It wasn't necessarily what he said that was so funny. It's just... you know, his wide, smiling mouth never moved. I mean, imagine being yelled at from a face constantly doing this: . It's enough to make men go insane honestly.
But who said these men weren't already insane? Furthermore, who said these men are men?
"...FIRST OF ALL, YOUR SEXUAL ESCAPADES, CHICKEN, ARE ABOUT AS REALISTIC AS ME. STICKING. MY. D*CK. IN. SIDE. YOUR. MOM..."
"oh, deary dear."
"GETTING. A NUT. CUMMING. INSIDE HER. AND MAKING. HER. PREGNANT."
"Wow."
"WOW WHAT? WOW, THE F**K, WHAT? 'Uhh, my name is San Diego Chicken, I wrestle in battle royals for world title shots only the leader of my group gets them instead cause I'm such a loser and nobody likes me except for my dad but not even him because he doesn't claim me when he's drunk and slaps me around like a two dollar whore and calls me 'peanut, and--' Just shut up, SHUT YOUR STUPID, CHICKEN BEAK MOTHERF**KER, YOU HEAR ME??? YOU'RE MOTHERF**KIN BEAK??? SHUT!"
"That's slightly unnecessary, and completely fabricated."
"Fabricated like my dick in your mouf?"
"...That doesn't make sense."
"Yeah, makes about as much sense as my dick in your mouf."
"You're impossible."
"Not impossible to get my dick in your mouf."
Don King interrupted, "Now, before this turns into a discussion on quantum physics and theoretical blah blah and hoo-ha theory, as to whether or not it's possible that Mittens gets stuck in a "dick in your mouf" loop. Let me remind you Mittens, shouldn't you be training for like... your match?"
"OOOOH, GOOD ONE, DON! YOU THINK I HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THAT ALREADY??? YOU THINK, THE GREAT MITTENS T. CAT, THE HARDKORREST, *****EST, MOTHERF**KER THIS SIDE OF THE UNIVERSE HASN'T BEEN TRAINING? I TRAIN, OK! YOU MAY NOT SEE IT, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!"
"Faggotism doesn't directly correlate with blindess, Mittens, or did you not know that?"
"What I do know, is I see three blind faggots right in front of me who make Hellen Keller look attractive."
"That doesn't make sense."
"About as much sense as my dick in your mouf. Look, all I'm asking, is that you guys back me up-- which, besides Woolery, no one has. And Woolery's backing up is more like, 'talk about how many girls I've boned that I actually haven't, and to hell with Mittens' promo.' You know? You know? And it, it pisses me off guys. It pisses me off."
Chuck Woolery, Don King, and SDC gave a collective: "Sorry."
This roleplay ends when you a see a weiner.
8========D