Welcome to FWrestling.com!

You've come to the longest running fantasy wrestling website. Since 1994, we've been hosting top quality fantasy wrestling and e-wrestling content.

AGGRESSION 17: New Orleans, LA - 4/30/05

Not open for further replies.


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
[CUE UP: "Imperial March" - Rage Against the Machine. A video montage plays, featuring smoke-wreathed images of various wrestlers, some of them leaving blurred trails as they move.
CUT TO: Christian Sands hitting the Sand Blaster on an unknown opponent.

CUT TO: Karl Brown nailing someone with the Dragon's Bite.

CUT TO: Jonathan Marx slapping an intense STF on an unknown individual.

CUT TO: Adam Benjamin knocking the absolute bejesus out of an opponent with a shining wizard.

CUT TO: The Crimson Calling destroying their opponent with a Crimson Crasher.

CUT TO: Beast delivering a high impact Tiger Driver '91 to an unnamed man.

CUT TO: Dan Ryan, an evil grin on his face, stomping his massive frame towards the camera.

CUTTO: With a clash of metal, a logo slams across the screen, its edges flickering.]

(Cut to the ramp, where a wreath of pyro explodes around the EmpireTron and several bomblike, smoky explosions ripple about the entry way. The camera zooms in on the screen as the pyro finally peters out, then blurs to roving shots of the roaring crowd as a small banner in the corner briefly appears to proclaim that EPW is broadcast en Espanol. Various signs are visible in the crowd: "Dis 5" with an arrow pointing down, "Savoy is still my phenom!!", "Dodd = Workrate", "Where's Karl Brown?", "JA Is The King!", "DIS FEARS CROSS!", "Unleash the BEAST!!", and finally, "Dan Ryan Ate My Pork Chops".)

DT: Live from the New Orleans Arena in the Big Easy, it’s Empire Pro Aggression!! It’s an action packed night as we’ll see JA take to the ring against Steve Savoy, as well as our first in-ring look at the mysterious Dis 2.

MN: You forget the former World Tag Team Champions The Cameron Cruise Project taking on my new odds-on favorites to take the division by storm, Troy Windham’s Entourage.

(A royal fanfare begins to play though the PA system and the camera cuts away from the announce table, focusing on the entryway and the RyanTron. The house lights begin to dim; the overhead spotlights rapidly flicker before cutting out completely.)

DT: We're not experiencing technical difficulties, but something tells me that we're about to be graced by the presence of our new Heavyweight Champion.

MN: And I, for one, can't WAIT to see this!

DM: Lindsay Troy played the entire lockeroom like a fiddle on her quest to get to the finals of the Russian Roulette tournament and she shocked the world when she pulled that mask off in front of millions of people.

(The crowd gets louder in anticipation, screaming and booing through the blackness, while the 'Tron slowly illuminates. All eyes focus on the quotation that fades into the center of the screen:

"Do you really have to be the ice queen intellectual or the slut whore? Isn't there some way to be both?"--Susan Sarandon

Suddenly, all the lights in the arena flick on, casting white-hot light down onto the crowd. Pyrotechnics erupt from the stage and ramp, and the trumpet flourish is abruptly replaced. "See, I believe in money, power and respect:

First you get the money,

Then you get the motherf(FCC)kin' power.

After you get the f(FCC)kin' power,

Motherf(FCC)kers are gon' respect you."

The opening chorus of "Money Power Respect" by Lil Kim, the LOX and DMX blasts through the New Orleans Arena. The masses unleash a torrent of boos as the curtains part to make way for the newly crowned Empire Pro World Heavyweight Champion.

But Lindsay Troy, much like her in-ring offense, knew how to rack up the style points.

The boos only intensified as Troy, wearing a 3 piece custom designed black and gold Dolce & Gabbana power suit, appeared before the crowd while seated on a large, hand-crafted antique throne. Four well-built men, positioned at each of the legs, carried her down to the ring. In her lap lay her DIS attire, with the Empire Pro Championship belt folded neatly over the disguise that concealed her identity until her moment of triumph.)

DT: Great, all we need now is the Taj Mahal, a flying carpet, elephants, and Robin Williams doing a song-and-dance number as the Genie of the Lamp.

MN: Show some respect, Burgerman. You're in the presence of a GENIUS.

DM: If there was ever any doubt as to the depth of Neely's infatuation, it's going to be dispelled tonight. Although the throne is a nice touch.

(The hired hands stop at the apron and Troy rises from her seat to slowly and gracefully enter the ring, carrying her parcels with her.

A pause in the middle of her domain allowed the Queen survey the crowd with hazel eyes hidden behind black rimmed and gold-tinted lensed sunglasses. The boos reached a fever pitch as Troy pulled a microphone out of a suit-jacket pocket, her new music cutting out upon the revealing of a microphone.. A lift of her arm brought the mic to her lips, where a smirk greeted the mouthpiece and her voice addressed the rabble.)

TROY: Don't be alarmed by that chill you feel underneath your feet. Hell is, indeed, freezing over.

DM: I never thought I would see a day like this.

MN: It's true. After we left Houston, I could have sworn I heard a plague of locusts coming for us!

DT: Neely, stop exaggerating.

MN: I feared for my first-born son, Thomas!

DM: I thought you didn't have any kids.

MN: Not yet, anyway. Crazy things like this keep happening and I'm making sure females everywhere get their tubes tied. Except Troy's. Her offspring would be a superior race.

DT: Dean, hand me that paper bag. I'm going to be sick.

TROY: I've spent these last few weeks enjoying the explosion of media activity that has surrounded my great...

(She glanced down at her Dis costume.)

TROY: ...unmasking. But aside from DISpelling the speculation as to who Dis was, there was something else that I took great joy in.

DT: Lording your victory over everyone within earshot?

MN: QUIET THOMAS. I'm feeling INSPIRED here!

TROY: The Bible says that Jesus fed five-thousand people with five loaves of bread and two fish. I, on the other hand, served millions and millions helping after helping of healthy slices of crow. And, my single-minded sheep, I did it at the expense of a man who time and again proves himself to be nothing more than a gullible, fallible, fool of a man.

But I'll get to Beast in a second.

First thing's first.

(Lindsay drops the Dis costume to the canvas, the belt still in her grasp. The microphone is temporarily placed back into the pocket from which it came while she winds the belt around her waist, latching it securely, and bringing the faceplate back to the front. Troy takes the microphone in-hand again, and shines the front of the belt with her jacket sleeve.)

TROY (smirking): Can't be a proper champion without wearing the belt that I bled, sweated and damn near killed myself for.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.

DM: That match she had with Beast for the belt is already being considered for a Match of the Year nomination at the end of this calendar year.

MN: And I'll be the first one in the voting booth!

DT (loudly): That woman cheated her way to the belt and you're fawning over her like some sort of...

(Dean Matthews cleared his throat and points to the ring, and both Mike and Dave follow his line of sight to see Troy leaning over the top rope and looking right at Dave.

Who knows how she heard him?

A wizard did it.

But Troy, nevertheless, smiled a toothy smile at the Empire Pro play-by-play announcer.)

TROY: So. I'm nothing more than a cheater, Dave? My misperception of myself is so criminal that you feel the need to shout it loud enough for it to reach my ears?

You're forgetting yourself, Thomas.

You see...there is no honor amongst thieves.

MN: Way to go, Late Night Drive-Thru Window. Now you've made her angry!

TROY: Marcus is a far cry from the strong, righteous man that he pretends to be. He's given and taken away just like everyone else, and he struggles for peace to quell the anger that rises up inside him. For someone so prone to manipulation, exploitation and weakness, he tries to make up for his shortcomings.

Yet he always fails.

I know, because I know him better than each...

(She points out to the crowd)

TROY: ...and every one of you.

(The crowd BOOS and slowly gets a BEAST! BEAST! BEAST! chant going. Lindsay just shakes her head in disgust.)

TROY: Marcus is weak, and chanting his name is NOT going to change that. To see one side is not enough to know a man, and everything Marcus has and hasn't done has only lengthened his path of misery. You may think this conflict between us has its roots here, but it's that line of thinking that makes a sucker born every minute.

Marcus said that he was tired of hearing the phrase, "Do what it takes," and I questioned him, knowing that he couldn't do what was necessary. When you know a man as wholly as I know Marcus Gregory Wescott, you KNOW the man's limitations. Roll the footage, monkeys!

DT: Oh what could she possibly have to show us?

DM: We're about to take a walk down memory lane, Dave.

MN: Think Lindsay will let me hold her hand?!

(CUE-UP: Footage from Russian Roulette DT: Dis has got the CHAIR again... Dammit, the referee needs to STOP this! DIS SWINGS - BEAST PUNCHES THE CHAIR RIGHT INTO DIS' FACE! DIS GOES DOWN! Beast looking at the chair... THE CROWD WANTS HIM TO TAKE IT... BEAST PICKS UP THE CHAIR!








FREEZE-FRAME: Beast being planted into the chair The New Orleans crowd BOOS~!

CUT-TO: TROY, in the ring)

TROY: In this lifetime, we all encounter the snarky little preposition "IF." Example: IF Marcus hadn't left his balls in the lockeroom, he WOULD have hit me with the chair and he MAY have still been the World Heavyweight Champion.


Life's full of them.

Nice guys don't just finish last. They finish beltless, balless, and HOPEless.

I did what was necessary, and to this victor went (she slaps the front of the title) the spoils.

You want your retribution, because you can't stand the sight of me continually playing you for the fool that you are. Your weaknesses are my empowerment, my exploitations of you a delight and your shame a lesson for all those who walk along the same downtrodden path.

Survival of the fittest, Beast. But your kind is soon to be extinct.

All shall be revealed to you, lover; your questions, the answers that you seek, but only when I know your mind is strong enough to take it.

And then...you may never know.

But what I know, is that all who lay claim to my title, whether that possessive is liked or not, will be dealt with the same way the former champion was dealt with:

By doing what is necessary.

Even you, Xandor Cross.

DT: Cross rightfully won the #1 Contendership to the Heavyweight...

MN: TROY'S Heavyweight...

DT: ...title at Russian Roulette, first surviving a cage encounter with Steve Savoy and then beating J_A to earn his way into the title hunt.

DM: Talk about a man who, arguably, knows the Queen better than anyone in this business. Their inevitable encounter may just rival the match with Beast.

(Troy paces the ring while the crowd gives Cross a nice ovation.)

TROY: Xandor, we find ourselves in a similar position as we did the last time I held a belt that you wanted. Far be it for me to acknowledge that this encounter holds a prize far richer for the spoils to the victor.

Our song, after nearly four years, still remains the same.

We chased each other through arenas. We tested our friendship and we left it all on top of a scaffold.

But Xandor, your uncle isn't here to catch you when you fall. And he's not here to lend a shoulder to either of us.

I threw you off a metal bridge to retain a title that was rightfully mine. Don't think you know the lengths I'll go to in order to keep this one.

DM: A thickly-laced threat if I ever heard one.

MN: Troy is a SAUCY LASS.

TROY: But make no mistake, Xandor, I want my Number One Contender to be as healthy as he can be before he has to step between the ropes and stand across from me.

To the man who's been looking to ride my masked identity's coattails to EPW fame...DIS 2 (MASSIVE BOOS!)...consider this my Target Aquired announcement. You've come to this place and interfered with business that was none of your concern. That business happens to overlap with my intentions, and when you meddled in my match at Russian Roulette you inked your name to your Last Will and Testament with your own blood.

By my hand or by Xandor's, you will suffer for your unrighteous grievances, and you will not make it out of New Orleans unscathed.

That is the way of the Cross, and that...is my Final Judgement.

(Troy drops the mic and climbs the turnbuckles to pose for the crowd while the cameras go to commercial.)


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: We’re back and thankfully the display we just witnessed is over.
MN: You just think about breathing a sigh of relief that she didn’t decide to get physical over your blatant character assassination.

DT: (Rolling his eyes) Well, all other things aside tonight we have the debut of another man who knows Lindsay Troy very well – one Vladamir Vlachinko.

DM: These two had some heated battles in the past, and as I understand it the ever cocky Russian has actually stated that if he doesn’t defeat his opponent tonight in less than five minutes, he will leave this company just as fast as he entered it.

MN: Brilliant!

DT: Real gutsy, I’m sure. Let’s go up to the ring and our own Tony Fatora!


Vladamir Vlachinko vs. Priest


( CUT TO: Ring announcer Tony Fatora standing in the middle of the ring, Referee Emilio Gomez stands in the corner. )

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first match of the evening here on Empire Pro Aggression!

(The crowd lets out a rousing round of cheers!)

( CUE UP: Tchaikovsky's "The Wind of Siberia. )

(There's a smattering of boos from those fans who recognize the man, as the Russian Patriot Vladamir Vlachinko makes his entrance, accompanied by the lovely Natasha, who looks fantastic in a black business suit and carrying a metal clipboard.)

TF: This match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first.. making his Empire Pro Wrestling debut... he stands at six feet, two inches tall, and wieghs in at two hundred and forty pounds.... he is a former USWA and USCW World Heavyweight Champion... this is the Rrrrrrrrussian Assassin.... VLADAAAAAAAMIR VLACHINKOOOOOOOO!!

(Vlachinko and Natasha make their way down the ramp and to ringside. Vladamir climbs the ring steps and holds the ropes open for Natasha, who makes a point of drawing attention to her legs as she steps between the ring ropes. Cat calls and whistles from a lot of the males in the audience are heard as she does so.)

MN: Man, she's hot.

DM: But unfortunately way out of your league, Neely.

MN: What are you talking about? I'm sure she'd love some Burger King, and then we could go back to my parents' place and make out once they've gone to bed.

DT: Guys! GUYS! Can we please focus on the wrestling, and not the valets? Are you forgetting who's in the ring right now? That's Vladamir Vlachinko! He's a former USWA and USCW World Champion!

MN: Right, Thomas. You can look at the big guys wrestling and sweating all over each other. I'm going to look at HER!

DT: I give up.

( CUE UP: "I Am the Bullgod" by Kid Rock. )

(The crowd's boos intensify as the curtains part.) TF: And his opponent... he stands six feet tall, and weighs in at two hundred and forty eight pounds... this is PRIEEEEEEEST!!

(Priest walks down the ramp, accompanied by the monstrous Eisenkreuz, never taking his eyes off of Vlachinko, even as he jumps up to the ring apron and steps between the ropes. Eisenkreuz takes up a position outside the ring near the apron.)

DT: We've got a pretty even match here in this one, guys. Priest gives up a couple inches in height to Vlachinko, but carries an extra few pounds.

DM: While Vlachinko may have a bit of a reach advantage, if these guys get grounded, Priest may be able to use his extra weight to stay on top.

DT: But don't forget that Priest has that massive behemoth Eisenkreuz with him! He's more than match for Natasha!

MN: If that animal harms one hair on her head, I'll -

DM: You'll what, Neely?

MN: Um, sit here and watch it happen because he's much more man than I am.

DM: Thought so.

(Tony Fatora leaves the ring, and Gomez calls for the bell.)


DT: Both men circling each other now, looking for a way inside to take early control of this match. This would be a huge win for either man. For Vlachinko, this is his chance to impress and make his presence be known, and for Priest, he's got an opportunity to score a big win over a former muti-time World Champion!

DM: Vlachinko and Priest now lock up, each of them looking for early control, but it's Priest that comes out on top and puts Vlachinko into a side headlock.

(Vlachinko looks for a way out of the hold, but Priest squeezes even harder, keeping his hold. Vlachinko manages to finally shove Priest off and into the ropes. Priest rebounds and runs into Vlachinko with a HARD shoulderblock. )

DT: Oh my! Vlachinko goes down like he's been shot!

DM: He was a little off balance after having his head squishified like that, Thomas!

(Vlachinko holds his head for a moment after crashing to the canvas, but he gets to his feet. He and Priest both hit the ropes, and rebound towards each other...)

MN: A couple of big trains looking to collide here!

(Both Priest and Vlachinko collide in the middle of the ring, each driving a shoulder into the other, but again it's Vlachinko that goes down hard!)

DT: And it's Vlachinko that gets derailed!

Priest pulls Vlachinko to his feet, and lands a stiff right hand to Vlachinko's jaw! The Russian staggers back a couple steps, and Priest again nails him with a right hand! A third right hand!

MN: It's like Rocky pounding the hell out of Drago in there!

Gomez warns Priest about the blatant right hands, but Priest nails Vlachinko with a wicked uppercut! Vlachinko stumbles back into the corner!

DM: (holding up his hands like a football official) It's good!

DT: Priest grabs Vlachinko and pulls him out of the corner and whips him across the ring, driving him into the corner! Vlachinko hits hard, and Priest goes charging after him, and there's a big splash in the corner! Priest is really taking it to Vlachinko early in this one!

Priest backs off, and Vlachinko staggers out of the corner, and Priest levels him with a hard clothesline! Priest pulls Vlachinko back up to his feet, but drops him right back down again with a nasty DDT! Vlachinko bounces right back up to his feet, and staggers into the ropes. Priest charges, and lands another huge clothesline!

DT: Priest just dumped Vlachinko right over the top rope and onto the arena floor with that huge clothesline!

DM: More importantly, did you see the way Vlachinko's back slammed against the apron on the way down? Nasty!

In the ring, Priest turns to the crowd and spreads his arms wide open and leans his head back, playing to the crowd and soaking in all his arrogance. The crowd responds with a hefty round of boos.

MN: Now that's my kinda guy!

DM: Yeah, you can't get enough of yourself either.

MN: That was uncalled for.

DM: But easy.

On the outside, Natasha is tending to Vlachinko. The beauty helps Vlachinko to his feet, but the big Russian turns to the ring and waves his hands in disgust, and turns to leave the ring area, stumbling a step here and there, and head up the ramp with Natasha chasing after him.

DT: I think Vlachinko's had enough! He's walking out!

DM: But Priest won't have any of it! He's going after Vlachinko!

Referee Gomez starts his count, but Priest quickly jumps through the ropes and gives chase to Vlachinko. Priest catches up to him about halfway up the ramp and places a hand on Vlachinko's shoulder and spins him around, but Vlachinko tags Priest with a HEAVY right hand!

DT: OOOH! Did you hear that one! That's a nasty shot!

DM: I think Vlachinko might have been playing possum, guys! He needed to take a break to stop Priest's momentum, and he suckered him in!

MN: Damn Commies!

Vlachinko hits another right hand and that stuns Priest! The pair move back toward the ring, and Vlachinko grabs Priest by the back of the head and sends Priest face first into the steel ring steps!

DM: Mmmm... yummy steel!

Gomez' count reaches seven, and Vlachinko quickly rolls back into the ring to break the count, but then rolls back outside.

DT: Vlachinko doesn't look too happy here, folks!

Vlachinko grabs Priest by the head once more, and again drives his face down into the ring steps! The crowd lets out a huge "OHHHHH" as Priest's head bounces off the steps, and Vlachinko grabs Priest again, and hoists him up onto his shoulder, and begins charging across the arena floor.

DT: Oh no! Vlachinko's got Priest up on his shoulder! He's going to use him like a battering ram, and I don't like where this is headed!

DM: I believe that would be the ring post, Dave!

Vlachinko slams Priest head first into the ring post, and the crowd lets out another huge groan!

MN: That's gonna leave a mark!

DT: That'll shatter your spine, Neely!

Vlachinko lets Priest fall unceremoniously to the floor, before turning to a fan in the front row that's holding an American flag. Vlachinko grabs the flag and tears it in two, and lets the pieces drop to the floor before heading back to pull Priest to his feet and roll him back in the ring

. DT: Now that's just wrong!

MN: I'm liking Vlachinko more and more every minute!

Vlachinko rolls back into the ring, and Natasha claps her approval as Vlachinko whips Priest to the ropes and drops him hard with a running back elbow! Priest hits the mat hard, and Vlachinko drops a big knee right across Priest's forehead.

DM: Vlachinko is really concentrating on Priest's head here guys.

DT: He's going to have one hell of a headache when this is over!

Vlachinko lands a couple stomps on Priest's head before pulling him back to his feet.

DM: A go-behind, followed by a reach around...

DT: And there's a vicious german suplex by Vlachinko!

MN: Priest folded like a bad poker hand!

DM: That was right on the back of Priest's head and neck! Vlachinko continues the cranial assault!

Vlachinko pulls Priest to his feet, and whips him to the ropes. Priest rebounds into a big time scissor kick from Vlachinko!

MN: And Eisenkruz has had enough! He's climbing up onto the apron!

DT: And Vlachinko knocks him right back down with a haymaker of a right hand! He just smashed head first into the guardrail! He might be out!

Natasha continues to cheer on Vlachinko as the Russian pulls Priest to his feet again. He lifts Priest up...

DT: OH MY GOD! Vlachinko just about put Priest through the canvas with that cradle piledriver! Priest's neck could be broken!

Suddenly, the arena goes pitch black!

MN: What the hell?

A lone spotlight hits Vlachinko in the ring, and a second hits center stage at the ring entrance area, but there's no one there. Instead, a fog begins to roll over the stage area, and the eerie guitar and piano mix of Van Halen's "Respect The Wind" begins to play over the PA. The fog overcomes the stage, and when it disappears, a lone figure, fully concealed in a long flowing black robe with the hood pulled up over his head so that only his impeccably trimmed goatee is visible, his hands folded in front of him, as if in prayer.

MN: Who the hell is THAT?

DT: My god, would you look at him? He's got to be seven feet tall!

In the ring, Vlachinko is incensed!

DM: I think Vlachinko knows who this guy is! He's yelling and cursing at him!

On the stage, the huge man unfolds his arms and raises them out to his sides, leaning his head back, and as he does, the arena lights come back up in a brilliant red, and the Empiretron lights up with fire, the flame growing higher as the man raises his arms. The light intensity reaches it's apex as the man's arms raise to his shoulder level, and it holds there for several seconds before once again plunging into pitch black darkness!

MN: Would somebody explain just what the hell...

A moment later, the house lights return to normal, and the man is nowhere to be found! In the ring, Vlachinko pounds on the ropes in anger and continues to stare out to the ramp...

DT: And there's Priest with a rollup! Gomez drops for the count!



Both men quickly get back to their feet, and Priest swings with a right hand, yet Vlachinko ducks, and Priest nails the official!

MN: Gomez is down!

DT: OH NO!!! Vlachinko just nailed Priest with a massive clothesline!

Vlachinko waves for Natasha to come up onto the apron, and she does, wielding that clipboard!

DM: Vlachinko's got a hold of Priest by the arms now, and he wants Natasha to nail him with that clipboard!

DT: Here comes Natasha! A swing....!

MN: Priest ducked! Natasha decked Vlachinko with that loaded clipboard!

Vlachinko staggers back, and Priest drills Natasha with a right hand that sends her down to the canvas!


Gomez gets to his hands and knees, shaking out the cobwebs...

DT: Vlachinko staggers, but won't go down after that clipboard shot! He turns, and ends up right in the arms of Priest! DOWN THE PISSER!!! HOLY CRAP!! Priest just PLANTED Vlachinko with that maneuver!

DM: And there's the cover!

ONE! .................

TWO! ................

MN: Slow count!!


"I Am the Bullgod" by Kid Rock fills the arena, and Eisenkruz slowly slides into the ring as Priest celebrates his win!

MN: And Priest has sent Vladamir Vlachinko right back out of this company! That's a huge win for Priest!

(Vlachinko slams his fist in anger on the mat.)

DM: The big Russian is incensed!! But who the hell was that big guy in black?

DT: I'm sure we'll find out sooner or later, but folks, we've got a lot more Aggression coming up right after this!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: We’re back again and I’ve gotta say, I didn’t expect Vladimir Vlachinko’s time here in EPW to be so short. DM: You think his was short, Jimmy Conrad no-showed his debut – and I don’t know that Mr. Ryan is the type to forgive that sort of thing so easily.

DT: Indeed he’s not. Well ladies and gent…..


[Cue up “Eat the Rich.” JA enters flanked by Bill Laimbeer.]

DT: What? JA’s not on my schedule right now. His match isn’t until later on.

DM: I think he requested some mic time.

MN: Yeah, and why should he of all people get it? He choked against Cross at Russian Roulette.

DM: Well aside from the fact that JA is one of Empire’s hottest superstars right now, we do only have five matches on the slate for tonight. That and I’m sure Freeman and Ryan just like spiting you.

DT: I know I do!

MN: Et tu, Schiavone-bot?

DT: Hey, you’ve done nothing but torture me since Aggression number one.

MN: Speaking of torture, JA’s in the ring with a microphone.

DM: Torture for you, but I think he’s amusing. Especially when he takes shots at you.

[JA taps on the microphone and looks out into the crowd.]

JA: Helloooooo Big Easy!


MN: That was cheap.

DM: Yeah, just like your whole arsenal of zingers when it comes to Beast.

MN: Leave Big Loafy out of this!

JA: Anyway, the last time you saw me in an Empire ring, I was scuffling and tussling with my friend and yours, Shawn Jessica Bubbles Hart.


JA: I’ll get to everyone’s favorite sexually confused superstar in a moment. First things first, I don’t know if y’all were watching the Empire Television Network before you came to the arena, but if you didn’t, you might wonder why I have this tall, mean-looking cracker behind me. Well folks, this is none other than legendary former Piston and Original Bad Boy himself, Bill Laimbeer. Give Mr. Laimbeer a warm, Empire Pro welcome, don’tcha?


JA: Big Bill here is going to watch my back to make sure that creeps like Ron Artest or Ricky Williams don’t try any funny business. I was going to go with Bill Walton, but given that Sweetcheeks recruited Ricky Williams, well I’m glad I went with this guy here.


MN: Cheap shot! Cheap shot!

DM: Well, you are the expert in that category.

JA: Now, onto more pressing news, some other things happened at Russian Roulette that were a bit, shall I say, notable. The biggest of those was the unveiling of Dis, who happened to be none other than the Queen of the Ring herself, Lindzipan Troy. Of course some people recoil in shock and shock and even more shock and horror that a woman could actually hold the World Championship in a man’s world, but I’m not surprised. She’s a tough competitor, and also, might I add, a world-class harlot. I had fifty-fifty odds that she’d win the title by sleeping with Ryan and getting it awarded to her, but hey, the other result came out. Ya know actually winning the title in the ring. Either way, it’s no shock to me.

MN: He’s disparaging the World Champion! Stop him!

DM: Once again, you are the expert in that category.

JA: Now, I hoped that today, I’d be standing in front of you as the man who would be facing off against our new Champion… or is it Championess… I don’t know, but that’s minor because I’m not the one who’s got the shot. The main reason for that was that Cross beat me at Russian Roulette.

Now, I’m not going to pull any punches here. Cross was the better man that night. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t have to suffer through all kinds of regret with my actions in that match. Looking back… I may have helped save Cross’ career, but I put a detour in my own because of an overactive conscience.

I wallowed in self-pity for awhile, but then I realized that wasn’t helping. I just had to learn from my mistakes, and now I know. It’s not immoral to target the weak spot. It’s all a part of wrestling. So, that’s my credo from here on in, kick ‘em where it hurts.

Now, normally, that might be in the general area of the testicles, but since my opponent this week doesn’t have large enough ones for me to aim accurately…

[JA’s interrupted by “In Da Club.” Ron Artest comes out with a microphone to mucho heel heat.]

RA: Yo yo yo yo yo check yo’self, Mr. Anglo Luchador. Don’t go writin’ checks that yo’ body can’t cash, cracka. Talkin’ that ish out here after you was carryin’ on backstage with that NORAD bull. Well, while you came out here and left your sweet lil’ Lollipop in the back, well, let’s see what’s gonna happen to her…

DT: Oh no…

[Artest points up to the EmpireTron, where Steve Savoy and Ricky Williams have Lollipop tied up on a chair.]

DT: Those bastards!

MN: Bastards? That’s a little strong for S&M enthusiasts. I never knew Lollipop was into that kind of thing.

DM: I don’t think she’d be that kinky for Savoy and Burnout over there.

SS: Lookie! Lookie! I'VE GOTTA COOKIE!!! Hah, don’t worry, I’m not gonna keep her forever. I just want to borrow her for a bit if you don’t mind. Like a rental or a loaner or something.

[Cut to JA in the ring, dropping his mic and looking at the screen with eyes wider than saucers.]

SS: Now if I could only find some Cool Whip...

[JA bolts out of the ring, Laimbeer following.]

DT: And JA’s out of here like a bat out of hell!

DM: I would be too if my chick was tied up by Steve Savoy and Pot-Pie the Sailor Fag.


DM: You ain’t in the stands in Detroit anymore, Ronnie.

MN: Someone stop him! He’s not allowed to treat an NBA legend like that!

DM: Please Neels, he…

DT: And now Laimbeer is brawling with Artest!

DM: Damn, my ultimate sports what if is coming true right now!

DT: Wait a second, I hear we’ve got a camera crew following JA, let’s cut to that…

[Cut to JA running through the corridors of the New Orleans Arena.]

DT: He’s running like a man possessed!

MN: I don’t see why, unless he’s up for a foursome with two other guys. I find that a little on the homosexual side, but whatever floats the guy’s boat…

DM: You’re an idiot, Neels.

DT: That notwithstanding, we may have some fireworks early, because JA’s at Savoy’s locker room…

[JA busts down the door.]

MN: How rude. He should have knocked first!

[Savoy looks at JA surprised.]

SS: Where's your etiquette, JACKHOLE?! Don’t you know you should knock first?

JA: Where’s Lollipop?

SS: I... don’t know…

[JA grabs Savoy by the throat and balls his other fist up.]

JA: Where’s Lollipop?!

SS: You just missed her…. I think she's smoking Sticky Ricky's peace pipe....

[JA throws Savoy out of his locker room and against the wall.]

DT: Talk about your forceful evictions.

DM: Lawdy Lawdy, he reminds me of my old landlord.

DT: JA’s out, he’s going over to Savoy and… Savoy just tripped him! JA just knocked his head against the wall! Savoy’s up now, he’s laying in one right, two rights, three rights… JA stumbles back…

DM: This is freakin’ sweet. Getting the action started early!

MN: And just think, this all happened because Steve Savoy went out and bagged him a woman!

DT: You’ve outdone yourself tonight Neels.

MN: I try.

DT: That wasn’t a compliment… and now Savoy’s going after JA, he’s got the Anglo Luchador, and whips him down the hallway…


DT: OH GOD! JA just crashed into that crate and flipped over on his back!

DM: Well, if having his girlfriend get kidnapped didn’t ruin his day, that did.

MN: I don’t think he should worry. His Lollipop is in a better place.

DT: Stop that Neels! Savoy strutting over like he’s the cock of the walk now, JA’s having a rough time getting up.

DM: Hey, I’d be having a rough time getting up if I just got rammed into that crate like it was the stainless steel grill of a brand new Dodge Ram pickup truck, which you can get at a low APR at your local Dodge dealer.

MN: Will you stop with the shilling? You’re shameless.

DM: Yeah, and paid too.

DT: Savoy’s just yelling at JA right now.

DM: I don’t think that’s smart, but hey, whatever works.

DT: Savoy now bending down to grab JA and… WHAT THE HELL?



DT: Good God! JA just blasted that fire extinguisher into Savoy’s eyes!

MN: That’s not fair! That’s not legal!

DM: Legal? This is a brawl man, everything they’ve done hasn’t been legal technically.

MN: Yeah, but JA should be disqualified!

DM: From what? This isn’t a match.

DT: It’s a damn fight. And now JA’s up. He’s got that fire extinguisher and…


DM: Goodnight, Irene!

MN: I don’t think he’s ever used that name… I mean SHUT UP!

DT: JA just knocked Steve Savoy upside his head with that fire extinguisher, and now’s he’s just walking away.

MN: Big mistake… I don’t think he knocked Savoy out with that extinguisher shot.

DT: You’re right, Savoy’s getting up, and he’s following JA back to the locker room area.

DM: God, a kidnapper and a stalker. What a psycho.

MN: Hey, you knew what you were getting when he showed up here.

DM: Touché Neels.

DT: Savoy’s charging and…


DT: OH MY GOD! Savoy just tackled JA into that crate of Surge!

DM: What the…

MN: I thought they discontinued making that crap.

DT: They did… and I got the last… oh man, that was $400 down the drain. And they’re all covered in Surge…

MN: I’m speechless.

DM: Thank you Jebus… there is a God.

DT: They’re both up and Savoy’s got a broken stake of wood from the crate! He’s about ready to stab JA with it, but the Anglo Luchador is fighting it off!

MN: Brilliant! That’s how you get rid of JA! I knew he was a vampire!

DM: A vampire, Neels?

MN: Yeah, a vampire… because he sucks!

DM: Oh brother…

DT: JA’s grabbing for something, and Savoy won’t relent here, he’s trying to drive a stake into JA’s heart…


DT: OH MY… he just clocked the Phenom with that 20 ounce bottle of Surge!

DM: Well Dave, I wouldn’t go for that one when you finally get a chance to get into that stash.

DT: I won’t, and now Savoy’s reeling back, dropped the wood shard… JA’s up, grabs Savoy…

DM: He’s gonna give him the old heave-ho!

DT: …and that’s what he does! JA tosses Savoy up the hallway! Savoy’s rolling… and now it looks like he’s rolling out on his own power away from JA. Now it looks like Savoy’s fumbling for a weapon, and he’s grabbing… that guy’s pants?

DM: I knew he was effeminate but…

MN: Hey, he’s just trying to get up.

DT: And now’s up, and he’s looking at the crew guy, who’s eating a corn dog…


DT: And Savoy just nabbed the corn dog off that guy and… he’s charging JA?

MN: He must know something about JA’s eating habits that we don’t.

DT: He’s charging and he’s shoving the corn dog into JA’s face!

DM: This is getting a little bizarre.

MN: This is a Steve Savoy match. It’s only par for the course.

DM: Touché again, Neels.

DT: Savoy driving that corn dog in JA’s face and… wait, now I see it, he’s got that stick jammed right into JA’s eye! What a sadistic…

DM: …and weird…

DT: I was just going to say that! But now, JA’s getting jammed and now he’s reaching into his pocket…

MN: Perv alert! Perv alert!

DT: No, he’s grabbing a bottle of Surge?

DM: Yeah, I think that’s what it is…

DT: JA BOOTS SAVOY IN THE GUT! And now he’s got the bottle and…

[FWOOOSH! JA sprays the shaken bottle of Surge into Savoy’s face.]



MN: Calm down Dave. It’s only Surge.

DT: But I paid… never mind! JA’s charging at Savoy who’s still wiping the soda out of his eyes and… NO! Savoy oléd JA! And now JA can’t stop!

DM: I think he slipped on the residual Surge on the floor.

DT: NOOO! And now JA’s… out of the curtain and back out here in the arena and…


DT: He just rammed right into Artest and Laimbeer who are STILL fighting out here! Artest turns around and lunges at JA, but…

MN: No! Look out behind you Ron!

DT: Laimbeer just grabbed Artest! Now JA’s got a free shot at Ron Artest. He’s winding up and… DM: Do you see this crowd? They want JA to deck the crap out of Artest!

DT: Yeah, but he’s taking his sweet time! He’s still winding up, appealing to the fans but…

MN: It ain’t going down like that! Here comes Sweetcheeks!

DT: Savoy out from the back and he just grabbed JA! Turns him around and… HART ATTACK! HART ATTACK! He just leveled JA with the Hart Attack!

MN: Game over!

DM: Well, JA did get caught up in things a little bit…

DT: Hold the phone! Now Savoy with a Hart Attack on Bill Laimbeer! JA’s entourage has been laid out! And now Savoy’s dragging JA to the ring!

DM: And now Artest is waving to the back.

MN: More reinforcements? Awesome!

DT: I don’t know what he’s waving for, but Savoy’s dragging JA towards the ring. Tosses him in, and now he’s waving to the back.

DM: I don’t know…

DT: Wait a second… here comes a ref!

DM: A ref? Oh man, they want to get this match on now!

DT: This is a bit earlier than scheduled… Savoy stomps JA once, twice, Emilio Gomez slides into the ring…


JA vs. Steve Savoy


DT: Savoy covers…



…no! JA kicks out! Savoy picks JA up, he’s going for another Hart… NO! JA shoves him off the ropes, Savoy comes in, JA with a kick to the gut and…

DM: I think it’s time for some HEADA DOROPPINGU!

MN: I HATE it when you say that.

DM: Suck me, Neels.

DT: JA grabs him… and… KARELIN DRIVER! This match is over… wait! No! Artest hops in the ring! He’s in JA’s face!

DM: I think the correct terminology is “all up in JA’s grill.”

DT: Regardless… wait a second… here comes Laimbeer! Bill Laimbeer hops into the ring and tackles Ron Artest! And there’s Gomez, I think he’s had enough!


DM: The question is, who did he have enough of?

DT: I don’t know, but there go Laimbeer and Artest brawling around the ring again, and now JA’s jumping in! He stomps Artest! Now Laimbeer’s up, and he’s grabbing Artest!

DM: We’re gonna see that free shot on Artest!

MN: Not if Steve Savoy has anything to do about it.

DM: Savoy’s out cold…

DT: No he’s not, I don’t see him in the ring at all.

DM: Crap, where’d he go?

DT: JA’s winding up and… no wait, there he is! There’s Steve Savoy! And he’s got a chair! He’s up on the apron and…


DT: He just leveled Bill Laimbeer with that chair! My God! The Original Bad Boy is down on the canvas! And… wait, Artest is now in JA’s clutches and…

DM: Yeah!


DM: Stick to rap albums and fan brawling!

MN: Hey, he can’t treat an NBA Defensive Player of the Year like that!

DT: Well he just did, and now JA and Savoy are staring each other down, but… wait! Here come the roving band of security.

DM: Aww man, I wanted to see more brawlage.

DT: Well Dean, the match is over and we do have more show to go on.

MN: Yeah, besides, I don’t think Empire could handle having to scrape JA off the canvas tonight.

DT: They’ve got all they got out there! I think it’s going to take that to keep these guys apart. Now that things are settled down, let’s go to Tony Fatora for the official word…

TF: The result of this match is a DOUBLE DISQUALIFICATION!

DM: Well, I guess I can see that.

DT: Yeah, both guys had their NBA lackeys get involved pretty good in this affair.

MN: Bah, Laimbeer started it.

DM: Oh shove it Neels.

DT: Anyway, that was a surprise, one of our big matches coming early in the show. Let’s take a commercial break…


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
“You’re going on luck, ya know. You can’t continue like this.” Foxx once again appeared at his door. She leaned against the wall just inside with her arms crossed. In a picture she could have been mistaken for one of those fancy blue jeans models and if this were another time she may have made a joke and laughed about it, but this was neither the time nor the place for laughter.

“Is this the way ya want it? To just drive through matches with nothing but your blind anger to fuel whatever ambitions you may have? Does that make it all worthwhile to you?”

He looked up from the bench, a slight smile on his face. "You have no idea."

Her face twisted from steely determination to a thoughtful frown as she hesitated for a few seconds. “Oh, I don’t? What do you know that I don’t then?” Determined to stay in control of the conversation, she returned the smile.

Calmly, he stood. She was a smart girl. He knew that. "You don't know what it takes in the ring now. You don't know the thrill of hearing someone's neck snap, of risking it all, of hearing your opponent screaming and then seeing them unconscious in the middle of the ring."

His reply caught her off guard. She visibly flinched and nearly lost eye contact, before swallowing hard and regaining her composure. The smile quickly disappeared; replaced by a glare of disgust. “So that’s what ya enjoy, is it? The barbaric pleasures of a savage? What’s happened to you Karl? The man I first met would never have taken pleasure in such things. I don’t even know you.” She fought to keep her voice from wavering and her tone down as her eyes burned into his.

"You're right." He cut straight across her. "The man you first met wouldn't." He turned his back on her, his head held high in thought. He walked over to his bag, and stood looking down into it for a moment before continuing. "He was full of ideals of sportsmanship, of doing everything the right way, of not caring if he won or lost. He had chance after chance, and he failed every time. He couldn't take that final step. The MCW and NWL world titles both slipped through his grasp at the last instant because he lacked something. So he went and searched, and he found what it was he lacked. The killer instinct." He reached into his bag, pulling out a small stereo, setting it on the bench. An eerie pause filled the room.

"You'll see when you step into the ring, Foxx." He pressed a button on the stereo, keeping the volume low as 'Instruments of Destruction' by NRG started to play. He turned back to Foxx. "Care to dance?" he smiled somewhat sickly. He always had had a bizarre sense of humor.

She faltered again. Something was fixing to snap like a suspension wire and no amount of emotional tape applied would keep it up. "I'll sit this one out thanks." Her face darkened as she paused. "Those titles wouldn't have meant anything to him. He'd have known he lost for a reason and sought to become even better. What you've become is far from better. You've fallen backward and your luck won't continue forever. You're barely winning your matches out there. What will you do if you start losing again? Become even worse? You can't continue shifting the blame. It's you who lost those titles, not your attitude. Turning yourself into a barbarian is hardly going to make you a better wrestler."

She had recovered slightly. She was confident in the truthfulness of what she'd said. There would be no way he could contradict it.

"We'll see." He turned back to the bench and sat down.

“Yes…we will,” she turned out of the door, closing it behind her. She sighed, frowning as the song finished. As she started down the corridor, she didn’t see Karl open the door, looking as if he was going to shout after her, before finally moving back into the room and starting the song again.

(Cut back to the broadcast position.)

MN: Interesting girl, that Foxx.

DT: Indeed. Let’s go up to Tony for our next match.


Karl "the Dragon" Brown vs. Isaac Byrne

TONY FATORA: Th’ following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first…

(Cue up: "Rainmaker" by Iron Maiden. The lights flash green and white as Brown makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction. Brown slides quickly under the bottom ropes, stretching in the corner before removing his jacket and waiting patiently for his opponent)

TONY FATORA: Hailing from Nottingham, England, he weighs in at two hundred and eleven pounds, and is the number one contender for the Intercontinental Champion…. KARL… THE DRAGON…BBBRRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWNNNN!!

DT: Brown had a great win at Russian Roulette, winning the right to use the title he won over in Japan when he was just training.

DM: And you know Eric Davis didn’t like that one. I wouldn’t be surprised to see those two go at it again. Brown’s going to have a tough match here though against the man who put Troy Douglas into an exploding table.

TONY FATORA: And his opponent…

(Cue up: "Hypocritical" by Methods of Mayhem. The crowd boo feverishly as Issac Byrne walks determined to the ring. A few fans try to reach out to him, one of them holding a "Don't Go" sign)

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, and hailing from parts unknown, he was the winner of the inaugural Inferno Match... IIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCC... BBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE!!!

MN: I’m gonna miss him.

DM: Byrne had a tough match at the pay per view, beating his former mentor Troy Douglas in an inferno match. Douglas has three wins over Brown, so maybe Byrne will be able to match that and put behind him the loss at Wrestleverse in what is his final match in Empire Pro.

DT: There’s the bell, and they lock up collar and elbow. Brown quickly ducks behind with a waistlock, but Byrne counters with a go behind of his own. A nice take down there, but Brown rolls out and into a hammerlock. Doe though with a roll of his own, into a headlock, but Brown works his way back out. Brown and Doe quickly to their feet, but Brown with a hard shoulder block gets the advantage again. Off the ropes, leapfrog by Byrne, and a NICE Mexican armdrag taking Brown down. Doe into an armbar, but Brown quickly flips his way out, and an armdrag of his own takes Byrne down.

DM: Quick action from these two as Brown hits another armdrag, holding on with an armbar. The crowd showing a lot of respect for these two, and I’m not surprised at the pace these two are working. Neither man wants to lose this one.

MN: It’s gonna be hard to see Byrne gone. He’s really come into his own since distancing himself from Megatron.

DT: He has indeed, Mike. He’s in trouble right now though, as Brown wrenches the armbar. Doe working his way to his feet, and a hard right hand to the gut followed by a whip breaks the hold. Doe with a drop toe hold, and a quick elbow drop, but Brown rolls out of the way. Standing drop kick by Brown, and another, and Brown now taking Byrne down with a snap mare. Dropkick to the back there, and Issac Byrne rolls to the outside. I don’t think he was quite expecting this from Brown.

DM: The crowd are getting quite into this, and rightfully so. Byrne wisely taking his time getting back in the ring, shaking out the cobwebs. They lock up again, and Doe with a hard knee lift to the gut, and a nice snap suplex.

MN: Issac Byrne looking good in there, and Downtown’s gonna have to really work hard from the looks of it.

DT: Quite possibly, as Byrne now has the advantage. Doe with a hard stomp, lifting the Dragon up and a hard scoop slam followed straight away by a fist drop there. Another stomp, and Doe is looking firmly in control as he pushes Brown to the outside now.

DM: This could get dangerous. Both men have shown in the past how they can use the ringside area, Byrne more recently with his inferno match against Troy Douglas. Brown hasn’t had much on the outside since he beat X a few months ago, and he’s feeling it now as Byrne whips him into the guardrail.

DT: Hard elbow shot there to the face, and Byrne rolling Karl back into the ring.

MN: You know, which is he? Doe or Byrnes?

DT: He wants to be known as Byrnes, but I don’t think Brown cares right now with that nice double arm suplex there from the winner of the first Inferno match in EPW history. Byrne is keeping the pressure on here, putting the boots in. He’s definitely developed a huge vicious streak since his loss to Christian Sands.

DM: A loss like that, combined with the training Troy Douglas gave him, is very likely to do that. He’s done well since then, narrowly losing to Brown at Wrestleverse. Some chops in the corner, and Byrne looking to continue his advantage with an Irish whip across the ring. Brown off the ropes, and Doe with a back elbow taking him back down. Issac Byrnes with an elbow drop

DT: He finds nothing but canvas there. Brown with a quick roll out of the way there, and he’s firing away now. Right hand, and another, and a third!! Brown now starting to feel it, as he runs the ropes, but Byrne with a clothesline there. Issac Byrne now shaking his arm out, with a stiff kick to the back of the head of Brown. Issac Byrne with a surprising dominance here, as he drops Brown down with an inverted atomic drop… great combination there into a Northern Lights…


Kickout by Brown there on two and a half.

DM: Brown’s got to be careful here, otherwise Issac Byrne is going to run riot. You can tell by looking in his eyes that he’s focused on this match. A stiff shot to the head there, and Byrnes takes Brown down to the mat with a drop toe hold.

DT: Issac Byrne pressing the advantage… TRIANGLE CHOKE HOLD!!

DM: A brilliant move here. It’s a variation of the sleeper made popular in Japan. You can see Byrne is locking his legs over as his arms have Brown’s neck in a vice grip. He’s got to be careful he doesn’t slip into an actual choke hold, but Brown’s in trouble unless he can somehow break the hold. This one can put you under very quickly.

DT: The ref checking, as Brown is trying to fight out of it. Brown rocking Byrne back and forth, rolling him onto his back…


Doe releases the hold to get his shoulder up, and Brown escapes before any major damage could be done there. Byrnes to his feet first, connecting with a forearm shot to the face there. Whip off the ropes, but Brown ducks under the clothesline and rolls him up with a crucifix. Byrnes quickly kicks out, but Brown connects with a shot to the gut, doubling his opponent up.

DM: Strong tilt-a-whirl suplex there from the Dragon. A cover, but Byrne’s still too fresh, and a kick out before the count of two there. Brown isn’t letting up, sending Byrnes off the ropes.

MN: Wow!! Nice counter there by Byrnes, reversing that hip toss attempt into the abdominal stretch!! Downtown in real trouble now.

DM: Byrne’s got it locked in, wrenching back on the neck and applying pressure to the ribs as well. The ref’s asking Brown if he wants to give it up, but you know that shot to the guardrail earlier is going to be coming back now and amplifying what is normally a painful hold anyways.

DT: Brown trying to force Byrne over, but he’s having none of it, slugging on the ribs of the Dragon.

DM: Ouch!! That slam there looked painful. Taking the abdominal stretch, leaning back and flipping Brown overhead face first to the mat.

DT: One…


THNO. Brown manages to kick out barely there, and if he doesn’t launch some offence soon it could be all over. I’ve rarely seen Issac Byrne this determined.

DM: Issac Byrne still with the momentum though, with The Dragon up on the top rope now, and a hard shot to the face rocks Brown. Byrne climbing up, setting Karl up… looks like a superplex.

DT: Brown fighting it…HOLY!!!

DM: That’s something you don’t see everyday!

MN: Oooh Yeah, he’s Hardcore Dragon again baby!!

DT: Let’s see if we can get a replay of that unbelievable counter, as Brown blocked Byrne’s superplex and countered with one of his own to the outside!! Both men are down on the outside, and the ref is checking them both. You can see Brown clearly in the replay now leaping back a little, and Byrne’s legs hit the guardrail hard. The crowd are really applauding that move.

DM: You can understand why. Only EPW gives you this kind of action for free, and not too many would doubt either Brown or Byrne’s desire to win at any costs. The referee looks concerned though, but Byrnes and Brown are both stirring. Byrnes slowly trying to get to his feet, holding on to the guardrail. These two put it all on the line at Wrestleverse and they’re doing it again. You just know that the fans won’t forget Byrnes any time soon, but how smart that was on Brown’s part is a point for discussion given his IC title shot coming up sometime in the near future.

DT: Brown slowly stirring, and Byrne’s is up, leaning back on the guardrail. Moving in now, holding his back, and a hard kick to the head of Brown there. Bryne picking Brown up by the hair, and a chop across the chest, but Brown fires back with a stiff chop of his own!! Byrnes with a chop, but Brown fires back again, and another one by Brown!! Brown now looking to get some control in this match, rolling Byrne into the ring. Brown goes in after him, but Byrne cuts him off with a kneedrop to the back as he rolls in. Issac Byrnes now feeling it. Lifting Brown up, whip off the ropes.

MN: Amnesia attack coming.


DM: With the punishment Byrnes was dishing out earlier and that suicidalplex a few moments ago I’m surprised Brown had the presence of mind to come out with that one.

DT: The referee now checking both men, and he’s starting the count as both men lay motionless on the mat. You can hear the crowd trying to will these two competitors back into life, not wanting it to end in a double knockout. The ref’s up to four now. Five.


Seven. Byrne’s is starting to move. Eight… Nine…Issac Byrnes rolls over into the cover.



THRNOOO!!! No, no, a thousand times no says the man from Nottingham England, just barely getting the shoulder up there.

MN: The crowd’s going ballistic here!!

DT: Byrnes slowly pulls Brown up to his feet. Irish whip reversed by Brown. Byrnes ducks the clothesline… HARD spinning side kick to the gut there by The Dragon.

DM: Byrnes is really feeling that one. A nice dwi chagi there, and Brown now following up with a knee to the head as Byrne tries to get to his feet. Brown now with the whip into the corner. He mounts the turnbuckle behind Byrnes… Diamond Dust.


NO!! Issac Byrnes with a kickout there. Brown now signalling for the end as he clutches his own back. Shot to the back, looking for the Dragon’s Bite… no, Byrnes slips out. Whips Brown off the ropes, goes for the back body drop but Brown drops behind!! DRAGON’S BITE!! Brown springing into the cover!!




(SFX: dingdingdingding)


(Cut to the broadcast position as Karl Brown makes his way up the ramp and backstage.)

DT: Another big win for the number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship over another man on a roll lately, John Doe.

DM: Ever since getting past Eric Davis, Karl’s been on a straight shot to the top. Next stop, IC gold.

DT: I’m being told we’re going to a feed backstage, so let’s go to that right now…


(The scene cuts to a shot of Dan Ryan’s office. Within seconds, Karl “The Dragon” Brown, still sweating from his match enters the room.)

Ryan: Karl, nice job out there. Have a seat, would you?

(Karl takes a leather chair and sits.)

Ryan: Now, to what do I owe this unexpected visit.

Brown: Look, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since I’ve been with Empire Pro. But I couldn’t help but notice that despite winning the right to take my shot at Dodd for the Intercontinental Title, you had me facing John Doe.

Ryan: You know, you’re absolutely right Karl. You’re absolutely right. You deserve your shot and you’ll get it. The only problem is, Mr. Dodd has some personal issues to attend to and I’ve granted him the time to attend to them. Now I understand that you’ve got a bit of a problem with your knee.

Brown: I’m fine.

Ryan: Well….that’s not what my doctors tell me, Karl. My doctors tell me you could use a few weeks off of the knee to get it back in shape. I wouldn’t want one of my up and coming young stars to do something foolish like wrestle a championship match on a bad leg.

(Brown stares at Ryan then glances away in impatience.)

Ryan: I’ll tell you what I’m gonna do. Dodd is scheduled to be back with us by next Aggression. I’ve granted Cameron Cruise a shot at the title in your stead. Now, should I get a report of a clean bill of health on you from the doctors you will immediately get your shot at the title no matter who holds it at that time. In the meantime, I would suggest that your most pressing task would be to get that knee in shape.

Brown: Fine. I’ll be back in time to take the strap off of Cameron or Dodd, you can guarantee that.

Ryan: That’s the spirit….

(A knock is heard on the door)

Ryan: COME IN!!

(The door swings open and both members of Blitz, Max and Jecht enter the room each with a World Tag Team Title belt slung over their respective shoulders. They give Karl Brown a look as he stands up.)

Brown: I was just leaving….

(Brown exits stage right as the two men simply stand pat in the center of the room)

Ryan: (and eyebrow raises) Gentlemen?

Max: I can’t help but notice we weren’t booked tonight.

Ryan: Correct.

Max: And whyyyy would that be, exactly?

Ryan: I’m giving you the week off.

Max: We didn’t win these titles just to sit around and play checkers backstage with the crew.

Ryan: You have the week off. Go fishing, grab a bite to eat, see a movie. Or…go scout out the tag match tonight. It may be of interest to you later on.

(Max and Jecht glance at each other and nod.)

Max: Fine….but next week…..

Ryan: You got it.

(They nod again and leave.)

(Ryan sighs and mutters under his breath.)

Ryan: Wrestlers….

(Cut to commercial.)


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
DT: Well, it’s time for us to see the in-ring debut of Troy Windham’s Entourage. This ought to be interesting. MN: Interesting, Dave? It will be AWE-INSPIRING! August de la Rossi is going to introduce you to the exciting world of culture. Salvador Dali surrealist paintings, Pavement b-sides, films that won the Palme d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival.

DM: Hey, did that taste good?

MN: What’s that, one of those oh-so delicious Krispy Kreme donuts that you’re promoting this week?

DM: No you idiot, I have the Dunkin’ Donuts contract. What I meant was, did August’s anal crevasse taste good?

DT: Dean, let’s keep it civil…


The Entourage vs. The Cameron Cruise Project

(Cue up “Take Me Out”)

Tony Fatora: This match is scheduled for one fall… introducing first, representing the Epitome Troy Windham and weighing in at a total combined weight of 500 pounds, THE ENTOURAGE!

DT: Well, here they come.

(Crowd boos.)

DM: Yeah, and from the sound of this Big Easy crowd, they should get sent back.

MN: This is an outrage! Don’t these people know how cool the Entourage is? They spit on the bourgeois pigs! They were listening to the Arcade Fire before the Arcade Fire was cool! You show some respect!

DT: Neels, calm down…

MN: Yeah, this coming from the guy who got hysterical because JA and Savoy destroyed your Surge earlier.

DT: Hey that… well, never mind. You got me there.

DM: Hey, don’t take no lip from Neels, Dave. You’re… well, slightly better than he is.

MN: Hey!

(Cue up “Headstrong”)

Tony Fatora: And their opponents, weighing in at a total combined weight of 459 pounds, they are the former Empire Pro World Tag Team Champions… THE CAMERON CRUISE PROJECT!

(Crowd pops)

DT: Listen to that reaction for the former Tag Team Champions!

DM: Yeah, and this ain’t no barn filled with Kansas co-eds either, although I wouldn’t mind it if it was.

MN: You pervert…

DM: I’m sorry, did I interrupt your thought process of coming up with new ways to fawn over the Entourage?

DT: Alright, Cruise and Melton are in the ring now, and it looks like we’re going to start off with Cameron and de la Rossi.

DM: I just think it’s funny that Melton’s so hasty to let Cammy start the match here.

MN: Melton’s not as dumb as he looks then. He knows he’s gonna get outclassed in there. Why not wait?

DM: I don’t think so, Neels.

DT: Zoltan stalks out of the ring, Cruise and de la Rossi to start.


DT: Cruise and de la Rossi circle each other, Cameron lunges, but August jumps back, now goading Cruise to come in. Cruise charges in, August leaps out of the way. Cruise is looking frustrated now…

MN: I would too if I was getting outhustled by the quicker man.

DT: Cameron Cruise is just standing still now as the loudmouthed member of Troy Windham’s Entourage is just jumping, goading him. You have to wonder how long he can keep this up before something happens.

DM: Well, Cruise isn’t biting. We may be here awhile, unless Melton gets antsy.

DT: Cruise is now walking slowly towards de la Rossi, August stepping back, and… HOLY CRAP! Zoltan just nailed Cruise! Cruise got too close to the ropes and Zoltan ran up the apron and clocked Cruise!

MN: That’s right August, you tell him he’s only a cog in the Ameri-Kay-Kay-Kay-an dream!

DM: You’re unbelievab…

DT: And here comes Melton, but the ref is holding him back! Now Zoltan and August are in the ring, stomping away at Cameron Cruise! Melton’s restrained, ref turns around… and August slides out of the ring before he can see it. Zoltan now going to work on Cruise…

DM: You know, in this day and age, you’d think that the ref would know who the legal man is instead of just assuming there was a tag when his back was turned.

MN: Oh quiet down Dean, you know wrestling rarely makes sense.

DM: Yeah, I mean, we still do employ you…

DT: Zoltan still putting the boots and snorting at Cruise as he’s on the canvas squirming. The Big Z, now picking up Cruise by the small of his neck, grabs him by the arm and… short arm clothesline! Shades of Jake Roberts…

DM: Only a whole crapload bigger…

DT: Zoltan with the cover…



…Cameron kicks out.

MN: Zoltan is in the process of manhandling Cameron Cruise! The Epitome will be pleased, no doubt.

DM: Yeah, except the match isn’t even five minutes old yet and there’s a hardened veteran across the ring…

MN: Ready to pass out due to missing his dosage of Geritol today.

DT: Zoltan grabs Cruise and picks him up again, this time slinging him over his shoulder.


DT: Zoltan rushes to the corner… Oklahoma stampede!

MN: I just said that, dippy.

DT: Regardless… cover…



…Cruise kicks out again. And now August is screaming to get in the ring.

MN: Maybe he wants to extol the virtues of Morrissey to young Cameron.

DT: I highly doubt that. Zoltan tags in his eager tag partner, de la Rossi… OH MY! Springboard guillotine leg drop onto Cruise! And now August covers…



…Cruise kicks out!

DM: Cammy’s taken a lot of punishment so far. I’m impressed that he’s hung in there…

MN: It’s only a matter of time. August is going to make him feel the wrath of Troy vicariously!

DT: August is grabbing Cruise to his feet and yelling at him all the way.

DM: Ah, that August, he never knows when to stop. How charming.

DT: Well, Cruise can’t do much about it right now… August with a reverse heel kick to the back of Cruise’s head! Cameron Cruise down to the mat like a sack of potatoes, and now August is going to work… one leg drop, and he’s up that quickly… two leg drops, up one more time, three leg drops! He covers…

MN: Three leg drops, three count!

DT: One…


..thr… NO! Cameron Cruise puts his foot on the ropes!

DM: That was close. The former Tag Champs are in trouble…

DT: August has Cruise up… he’s sizing him up, goes right behind him… Slack… NO! Cruise got the ropes and held them at the last second! August de la Rossi to the canvas like a ton of bricks!

DM: Sweet sassy molassy!

MN: No! August! Get up!

DT: August de la Rossi is stunned! He’s slowly getting up to his feet in shock and Cameron Cruise leaps across the ring…

(Cameron tags, the crowd explodes)

DT: Here comes Joey Melton! This crowd is going nuts! August up, charging at Joey… clothesline! De la Rossi’s down! Melton’s screaming at him to get back up! He’s up… and Melton sends him down again! Melton’s a house on fire!

MN: I hope he burns down… GO ENTOURAGE!!

DT: Melton’s dragging de la Rossi to his feet, haymaker right, another haymaker right, and… DDT! Melton covers…



…de la Rossi kicks out! Melton’s up again, he’s got August, front facelock… slingshot suplex!

DM: Could we see the Figure Four?

DT: I don’t know, Melton’s up and he’s looking at Cruise, asking him if he wants a piece.

MN: Bad idea! We’re only going to see a repeat of earlier in the match…

DT: Melton tags in Cruise, Cruise comes storming in the ring. He’s got August, over the shoulder… shoulderbreaker!

DM: Cruise control!

MN: That was lame, Dean.

DM: Not as lame as your butt-tonguing of August and his boy toy.

DT: Cruise is up, and he’s got de la Rossi, front face lock… one suplex. He’s kept him locked in… two suplexes… and now… he’s got him up… GORDBUSTER! August spikes up from the canvas, and Cruise SENDS HIM DOWN with a clothesline! Cover…



…but de la Rossi kicks out. Cruise is up and now he’s waiting on de la Rossi to get up.

DM: Payback time!

MN: For what? August de la Rossi is a cultured man! He doesn’t deserve such treatment!

DT: Well, that cultured man is up and… kick to the gut, big impact DDT… Cruise rolls through and is up!

DM: Cameron Cruise in control of this match. Maybe he’s as good as Melton says he is.

MN: Bah, Melton’s probably senile.

DT: Cruise grabs de la Rossi and picks him up… goes behind and… German suplex, with a pin…



…but August kicks out. Cruise goes over to the corner and tags in Melton. Joey Melton’s in, they whip August off the ropes and… double clothesline! Cover…



..thr… no! August de la Rossi kicks out.

DM: Well, the Artiste has to be near the end here.

MN: No, this can’t be happening! Someone, play some Pixies! Do something!

DT: Melton picks de la Rossi up, whips him off the ropes… rebound… OH MY! August de la Rossi just hit Melton with that hurricane rana!

MN: What a work of art!

DT: Melton is stunned from the suddenness of that move, and now de la Rossi’s over to the corner and tags in Zoltan!

MN: Here comes the big man!

DT: He’s got Melton… short arm clothesline! Melton hard down to the canvas! Zoltan’s not relenting, he’s got Melton, and… full nelson!

DM: Chris Masters, eat your heart out.

MN: It’s a work of art, that move! Just look at the pain in the geezer’s eyes.

(The crowd buzzes as Leonard Johnson steps out onto the stage, followed closely by Max and Jecht, better known as Blitz – the EPW World Tag Team Champions.)

DM: And we have company.

DT: Apparently the champs decided to do some advance scouting after all.

DM: Smart move.

DT: He’s got it locked in tight, and now he just drops Melton like yesterday’s trash. Just look at that guy’s raw power, Joey Melton’s no shrimp and he’s being manhandled in there.

MN: I know. I like to call it euthanasia.

DM: You know Neels, I’m sure Melton could still kick your ass.

MN: Not after that…

DT: Zoltan picks Melton up, Irish whip… BIG BOOT! Melton folds like a house of cards… Zoltan covers…



…but Joey Melton kicks out.

DM: Well, this Zoltan guy’s pretty devastating.

MN: Please, that’s like calling Paris Hilton a little slutty.

DM: You’d do her though.

MN: Damn straight.

DT: Gentlemen… family show! Zoltan scoops up Melton… Oklahoma Stampede! Cover…



…th… no! Melton kicks out!

(The camera cuts and we see Max and Jecht listening as Johnson whispers an observation in their ears.)

DM: Well, I think Melton did take his Geritol.

MN: Hey! Only I’m allowed to make age jokes.

DT: Zoltan’s up and… now August de la Rossi is screaming out. I think he wants in to finish Melton off himself.

MN: Like an artist…

DT: Zoltan tags August in… and what’s this?

DM: Well, judging from the angle the arena lights are hitting Zoltan’s chrome dome and the exact calibration of my wrist watch, methinks he’s going to climb on Zoltan’s shoulders.

DT: Well you’re… right. August de la Rossi on Zoltan’s shoulders and… shooting star… NO! HE MISSED! MELTON MOVED! de la Rossi up and Melton with the quick roll up…





Tony Fatora: Here are your winners by pinfall… THE CAMERON CRUISE PROJECT!!

DT: The former champs take the win and August De La Rossi is none too pleased. Zoltan charges Cameron Cruise, but Cruise and Melton slip out under the bottom rope before he can reach them!!

(Cruise and Melton turn to go up the ramp and stop in their tracks seeing Blitz at the top. The champs, for their part only smile briefly at The Project and clap before backing slowly toward the curtain, turning and walking through.)

DT: Folks it’s been an action packed night already, but when we get back it’s the MAIN EVENT!!

MN: Time for Cross to finally get his!

(Cut to commercial.)


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
(Suddenly the arena erupts in cheers as the familiar sounds of monks chanting comes over the speaker. Moments later “Figure You Out” by Nickelback comes across the sound system as Beast steps through the curtain to a deafening roar. Beast steps through the curtain and stalks to the ring, a very….unpleasant look on his face. Beast goes straight to a corner and demands a mic, then returns to the center – his head down.)

Beast: Down in Houston….I was absolutely screwed out of my World Title, a title I worked damn hard to win and to defend for most of the year by….(Beast winces, the hatred evident in his voice)….Lindsay Troy.

Now what I want right now….NO….what I demand right now…is for Dan Ryan to get out here and give me my rematch. I want my title back, and I want it back TONIGHT!

MN: Loafy’s getting a little demanding.

(The crowd roars at the prospect of an impromptu World Title match.)

Beast: You wanted to see me unleash the real Beast? You got it. Get out here, Ryan!!

(The arena stay quiet for a few moments aside from the roar of the crowd, until suddenly “ZERO” by Smashing Pumpkins blares to a roaring reaction from the fans in attendance.)

DT: It’s the owner…..

(Ryan steps out and walks simply and calmly to the ring, taking his time along the way.)

DT:….of Empire Pro!!

DM: This could be good.

MN: Don’t give him the shot, boss!!

(Ryan climbs into the ring and holds his hand out for Beast to hand him the microphone. Beast stares a hold in the EPW owner, then finally hands it over. Ryan looks straight at Beast for a moment or two more, as the fans begin to chant “REMATCH!! REMATCH!!”. Ryan slowly raises the mic to his mouth.)

Ryan: NO.

(Ryan begins to toss the microphone aside but Beast grabs him by the arm and rips the microphone from his grasp.)

Beast: NO?? NO?? You’re saying no to me?? You….are saying no to me??

(Ryan simply stares.)

Beast: Oh no no no…not this time. I demand my title shot, Ryan. Not this time, man. I want the shot, and if I have to exert my will by physical means, I will.

(The crowd “ooooh’s” at the threat, but Ryan remains stoic.)

Ryan: (taking the mic back) I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Marcus. You see, I hold your entire career….no, your entire LIFE in my hands….and you know it.

(Beast just stares daggers into Ryan as they stare at each other.)

Ryan: I like you, Marcus. I’ve always liked you…..and that’s why I’m going to grant your request.

(Beast’s face registers a look one part shock and one part uneasiness.)

Ryan: Naturally, there is a condition.

(Beast tenses up once again, visibly annoyed.)

Ryan: You will wrestle a match next Aggression – and then you will wrestle another the Aggression after that. And you will continue to do so until I see the improvement in your demeanor and willingness to…..DO WHAT IT TAKES….(Ryan exaggerates each words, knowing it irks the former champ. Beast for his part clenches his fists harder and harder)….and once I see that change in you, the shot is yours – and you will know once and for all that what happens in this ring, in this building, in my company…happens only because I say it does.

(Beast reaches out for the mic but this time Ryan holds it away.)

Ryan: UH UH….no sir. My company, my time, my microphone. I suggest you go back to the hotel and assess your options. You decide if you want to be the man I believe you can be, or if you want to be jerking the curtain from now until your contract runs out.

Now….get the hell out of my ring.

(Beast takes a step forward, just inches from Ryan as the crowd eggs Beast on. Finally Beast narrows his eyes and turns past Ryan, climbing down from the ring and heading on his way back up the ramp.)

DT: Talk about tension!!

MN: If Beast had been a good little loafy a long time ago, none of this would be necessary!

DM: Sorry to interrupt fellas….but it’s main event time!!

DT: Indeed, let’s go up to Tony Fatora!!


Cross vs. Dis II

TONY FATORA: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is set for one fall, with no time limit. Introducing first…

(CUE UP: “Jesus Walks” by Kanye West. Cross comes out to a rousing ovation, his eyes set on the centre of the ring)

DT: There’s Cross, and he’s looking for some real pay-back here against… what do we call this guy? Dis or Dis two?

TONY FATORA: Weighing in at an impressive two hundred and eighty five pounds, and hailing from Los Angeles, California….


(Cross starts to jog to the ring)

DT: OH MY GOD!! Dis just clipped Cross’ knee out from under him!!

DM: Why don’t you ask what we should call Dis since he or she is out here?

DT: Dis is stomping away on that knee. Picking the leg up and he slams the knee of Cross right down onto the hard metal rampway!! Someone’s got to get this match into the ring.

MN: I thought this was Dis two?

DM: Whatever you want to call this Dis, he’s really hammering away on that knee. A really smart move, taking Cross out before the bell rang

MN: It hasn’t rung yet.

DM: … as I was saying. Working over the already injured knee you know this is going to give Dis Two the major advantage. Steve Savoy really did a number on it at Russian Roulette, and any smart wrestler would go for the injured part.

DT: Dis now with a knee breaker, and he pushes Cross hard back first into the apron. He pushes Cross into the ring and the bell finally rings. Dis stomping away still on that knee, not letting Cross get to his feet.

DM: Dis is smart to focus on the knee. Whoever’s behind that mask knows that if Cross gets his hands on them then they’re in big trouble. Driving his own knee into Cross’ there, and a nice leg lock, and you can hear Cross screaming NO at the ref.

DT: Dis releases the hold, picking up the wounded Cross now, and a hard slam down, and another knee drop onto the injured knee. Dis now showboating to the crowd… look at the arrogance there, as he turns around and nails Cross with a hard shot to the ribs as he’s getting up using the ropes. Irish whip off the ropes, but Cross on the rebound with a clothesline, and he’s wailing away with right hands on the fallen Dis!!!

MN: Cheat!! Cheat!!

DM: The ref agrees with you there, Mike, pulling Cross off and warning him about the closed fists, but he’s right back on him with a hard, vicious chop there. He lifts him up, and a hard charge into the corner and slam down. He’s not even trying to go for the cover, he just wants to hurt him, and the crowd are going wild as he tries to choke the life out of his opponent. I haven’t seen him this vicious in the ring in some time.

DT: Cross finally let’s go at the count of four, and he’s yelling at the ref, Dis dropping to the outside. Senior referee Pat Jones is forcing Cross back, as Dis struggles to shake off the effects of that concerted attack.

MN: You mean the cheating.

DT: Compared to what this Dis has been doing I’d say it was fair.

DM: It may have been unethical attacking before the bell but it wasn’t against the rules, Dave. Meanwhile, Cross has pushed past Pat Jones, but gets a headbutt for his troubles as Dis springs up into the face of the massive Cross. Dis now grabbing hold of Cross’ injured leg, and slamming it down across the apron. Nothing fancy, but all effective.

DT: Indeed it is, Dean. Dis back in the ring is still focusing in on that injured knee, which not too long ago gave out when he had Steve Savoy up for Golgotha. Dis with a leg lock on the apron, and Cross has got to be careful. Revenge may be one thing but if he keeps in this match he could end up not being able to walk any more!!

MN: Aw… boo hoo.

DM: Cross is trying to pull back on Dis’ chin to break the hold but Dis is having none of that, applying more pressure on the leg. Any leg lock, any hold that attacks your opponents legs at all, can be modified to single out the knee, and it looks like Dis is doing that right now. He’s switching to a standing leg lock, wrapping the leg of Cross around his own. Fans of British wrestling in the eighties might remember Cat Weasel used to do something similar, falling back as Dis just did.

MN: Cat Weasel? What kind of name is Cat Weasel?!?! Was he some kind of freak?

DM: He could probably still kick your ass, stupid name or not, Mike.

DT: Dis dropping back, and Cross is really showing the pain here. Dis releases the hold and another stomp onto the back of the knee. Dis now picking up the wounded Cross, whipping him into the corner. Hard clothesline, and he’s wrapping Cross’ leg round the rope!! Come on, this isn’t fair!!

DM: Still effective. Against someone as talented as Cross you need whatever advantage you can get. Dis breaking the hold at four though, and Pat Jones admonishing him.

DT: CROSS WITH A RIGHT HAND!! Cross fires back thanks to that talking to Pat Jones gave Dis. Dis with a quick thumb to the eye, now off the ropes… BIG sidewalk slam there by Cross.



Kickout by Dis. Cross now with Dis in his clutches, picks him up and drops him down across the top rope, and whoever Dis is is going to be singing castrati in the morning.

MN: Weasel Cats, castratis… you two sure you ain’t making this sh…


DT: Cross with a hard clothesline taking Dis down to the outside, and this time Cross isn’t letting up, flexing the knee as he makes it to the outside, and a hard whip straight into the ring post for Dis!!! Cross is taking it to Dis, slamming him down hard on the ringside area.

DM: Cross picking up Dis… snake-eyes onto the guardrail, followed by a whip into the steps!!! Did you see those steps move into the end of the rampway? The top set just bounced!!

MN: This is great!! E-P-W!! E-P-W!!

DT: Cross is vicious here, smashing Dis into the ring post. Referee Pat Jones on the outside trying to get them back into the ring, but Dis blocks another attempt by Cross and scores with a knee to the gut, and a snap suplex on the hard floor. Dis stomping away on the leg of Cross. It may not be fancy or varied but Dis’ offence has been effective, but those shots from Cross have taken their toll, as those stomps look a lot more tired than they were earlier.

DM: You’ve never been slammed into the ring steps, have you?

DT: Thankfully, no.

DM: Then you wouldn’t know how much it can take out of you. Dis is holding his shoulder a little. He was lucky to duck down into them; going in knee first is the worst thing you can do.

DT: Dis now rolling Cross back into the ring, grabbing the leg. Pat Jones trying to make him get back into the ring, but Dis takes Cross over to the ring post.

DM: Shades of Bret Hart here, with the figure four leg-lock on the ring post. Cross is screaming as Pat Jones goes outside and is trying to pry Dis off.

MN: Dis FINALLY letting go. Now THAT’S gonna swing things over to Dis in this one.

DT: Pat Jones admonishing Dis, but you’ve got to know he’s not going to disqualify either competitor unless he absolutely has to. Both competitors now back in the ring, as Cross is using the ropes to try and get to his feet. Dis with an arm drag, and he floats over to work on the knee again. Not to sound clichéd but he’s like a pit bull going in for the kill.

DM: And cross doing the smart thing and making it quickly to the ropes. He’s going to have to keep Dis away from that knee.

DT: Dis with a kick to the gut as Cross rises, and a DDT takes the big man down.

DM: Dis is starting to take his time, and he’s still holding that shoulder from going into the steps. Looks like he’s setting Cross up for either a piledriver or a powerbo

DT: Nope, as Cross with a take down, slingshoting Dis into the corner!!Look how Dis bounced there!! School boy roll up


NO!!! Dis with a kickout. Both men are slow to get up. Dis fires off a right hand, but Cross scores with one of his own. Those punches look tired as both of them are going back and forth. Cross with a block, and a right hand!! Another block, and he’s starting to pummel Dis!! Hard whip to the ropes and a HUGE powerslam there!!! One


THRNOO!! Dis somehow gets the shoulder up!!!

DM: That may not have been the smartest move on Cross’ part. The way he span looks like it’s hurt his knee again, but he’s still trying successfully to stand. Dis up now, rushing in but Cross takes him down with a clothesline.

DT: Cross now with a standing headscissors. HE’S GOT HIM UP FOR GOLGOTHA!!!


DM: One…


Kickout from Cross. A lucky break there after a very unlucky break, his knee obviously isn’t strong enough to support the weight going for Golgotha right now.

DT: Dis is in a bad bad way though right now…..Cross now charging Dis, bad knee and all and DIS PULLS THE REFEREE RIGHT IN BETWEEN THEM!!


DT: Dis took some of the brunt of that as well and in fact all three men are down in the ring……WAIT A SECOND!!!

(The crowd rises as EPW World Champ Lindsay Troy rushes down to ringside and slides into the ring.)


(Troy immediately pounces on the prone Dis 2 and starts wailing away with rights and lefts to the head.)

DM: She said she was gonna take out some revenge on this impostor as she calls him, and she’s doing just that!!

DT: Dis 2 trying desperately to cover up and now TROY IS GOING FOR THE MASK!! SHE’S GOING FOR THE MASK!!!

MN: No!! No fair!! DQ!! DQ!!


(Someone slips out from underneath the ring, dressed exactly like Dis two and charges into an unsuspecting Lindsay Troy, knock her off balance and out of the ring.)


DM: There are more of them????

(The new Dis quickly rolls Dis 2 to the side of the ring and rolls him to the outside, then slumps down on the mat.)

MN: I can’t believe this!!

DT: This new…Dis?…I don’t even know what to call this guy!!

DM: Dis 3??

DT: This new Dis is lying in the ring while Dis 2…..the one that wrestled this match is still out on the floor!! Cross is now coming to his feet, as is the ref….THIS….THIS NEW DIS!! ROLLUP ON CROSS!!! THE REF DOESN’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON!! THE COVER!!!




DM: Oh my God!!

(Dis 3 immediately leaps to his feet and slides out of the ring as a shocked Cross looks on. Dis 3 goes over to a slumping Dis 2 on the outside and pulls him up to his feet, hugging him.)

DT: Look at Dis 2!! He doesn’t seem to know what’s going on either!!


(Dis 3 races around the ring to the ramp as a strange dry ice style fog begins pouring into the rampway)

DT: Dis three on the getaway and he goes right up into that fog!! Lindsay Troy is up and coming to her sense and she gives chase!! Troy into the fog as well and….out the other side???

MN: Ooooh!! Magic!!

DT: Dis 3 seems to have disappeared and Troy is left looking around!! Dis 2 now hightailing it out through the crowd and we’ve got yet another mystery on our hands!!

DM: Never a dull moment my friend!! Never a dull moment!

DT: Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know what to make of this entire situation. All I know is that this Dis 2 has apparently caught a break with a win over Cross, even though he never pinned the man.

MN: Did you or did you not see a man in the Dis costume pin Cross?

DT: Well yes but….

MN: Case closed.

DT: Case closed my ass, Neely! There was another man in that ring and you know it!!

DM: I’m more disappointed that we didn’t get to see who Dis 2 was, and now we’re left to wonder who DIS 3 is.

DT: A mystery to be solved another day it would seem. For Mike Neely and Dean Matthews, this is Dave Thomas bidding you all farewell…..GOOD NIGHT!!!!

(Fade to Credits….and to black.)

Not open for further replies.

About FWrestling

FWrestling.com was founded in 1994 to promote a community of fantasy wrestling fans and leagues. Since then, we've hosted dozens of leagues and special events, and thousands of users. Come join and prove you're "Even Better Than The Real Thing."

Add Your League

If you want to help grow the community of fantasy wrestling creators, consider hosting your league here on FW. You gain access to message boards, Discord, your own web space and the ability to post pages here on FW. To discuss, message "Chad" here on FW Central.

What Is FW?

Take a look at some old articles that are still relevant regarding what fantasy wrestling is and where it came from.
  • Link: "What is FW?"
  • Top