Michael Bastard & Donovan Astros vs. Shawn Hart (c) & Karl Brown (c), Letter From Cat
DT: Well ladies and gentlemen, before we get to the next series of King of the Cage matches, we’ve got a tag team contest for you tonight that you WON’T want to miss! In this match, we’re going to see two new talents team up against both the EPW Television Champion AND the EPW Intercontinental Champion!
DM: It’s going to be a meeting of Empire Pro’s past and future... with an added stipulation involved! A pinfall or submission over either of the champions will earn that newcomer a title shot!
MN: So what happens in the case of a count out or DQ?
DM: I don’t know... maybe they’ll roshambo for it.
DT: It will be an interesting contest between the old guard and the new blood... let’s go to the ring!
[CUE UP: “Worldwide Suicide” by Pearl Jam. DONOVAN ASTROS steps onto the stage and pumps both fists into the air before making his way down the ramp to the ring. He looks pretty confident and pumped.]
TF: Ladies and gentlemen... the following contest is a tag team match set for one fall! Introducing first... hailing from Los Angeles, California... weighing in at two-hundred and thirty-seven pounds... HERE IS... DONOVVAAAANNN... AAAAASSTROOOOOSSSSS!!!
[Astros pumps a fist into the air as he continues making his way down the ring. The crowd reaction is still very mixed, but he has noticeably more support in the fans this time around.]
DT: Donovan Astros, making his way to the ring now! He came up short in his debut match in the first round of the King of the Cage tournament, but it was undeniable that he made in an impact!
MN: Are you serious? That stoner made him look like a complete STOOGE!
DM: Let’s look at the facts, Neels... he walked into an unconventional match against an unconventional opponent. He didn’t get pinned, he didn’t tap out, and if you ask me, he DOMINATED most of that match. If it had been anything but a cage match, things would have likely been very different. I have a big feeling that Donovan Astros is going to be a major player here in Empire Pro in the coming months.
DT: He’s got all the experience and talent one needs to go far in this federation, but he’s still looking for his first victory in Empire Pro! Can he earn it tonight, over a CHAMPION, no less?
[CUE UP: “All Secrets Known” by Alice in Chains. MICHAEL BASTARD emerges from the entry-way and sternly makes his way to the ring, ignoring the jeering fans lined up by the rampway. Sauntering out behind him is the Amazing Logan with a smug smirk spread over his face, who taunts the crowd as he follows his man to the ring and talks him up.]
TF: And his partner... accompanied to the ring by the AMAZING LOGAN... hailing from Flint, Michigan, and weighing in at two-hundred and twenty-five pounds... HERE IS... MMMMICHAAEELLLLL... BAAAASSSSTAAARRRD!!!
MN: Now HERE’S a man who knows how to make an impact! Except for this music... I mean, what is this? Grunge night for the guys in the production van?
DT: I won’t doubt you when you say this young man has made an impact, Neely. In fact, Michael Bastard’s made a number of them... all of them being exceptionally VIOLENT and BRUTAL!
DM: It took a staggering EIGHT CONSECUTIVE GERMAN SUPLEXES to knock him out of the King of the Cage tournament... but tonight is his opportunity to move on from that. With Donovan Astros in his corner for this match, he has the chance to make a big step UP the ladder should he pick up the win.
DT: I can’t imagine where the Amazing Logan found this guy... a prison? A ghetto? A mental institution?
MN: Woodstock ‘99?
DM: “Woodstock ‘99!?”
MN: Hey, man, there were some MEAN BASTARDS at that show...
[Bastard slides into the ring where Donovan Astros is waiting with an outstretched hand, offering a handshake. Bastard just looks at it and walks by him, impatiently pacing around the corner.]
[CUE UP: “Rainmaker” by Iron Maiden. The crowd POPS LOUD as KARL “THE DRAGON” BROWN steps out onto the stage, wearing the EPW TV Title around his waist and pumping a fist into the air. Hanging over the stage, flashing pyro in the shape of a serpentine DRAGON sparkle briefly in green light before he makes his way down the ramp, slapping hands with the fans.]
TF: And their opponent... hailing from Nottingham, England... weighing in at two-hundred and eleven pounds... he is the EMPIRE PRO TELEVISION CHAMPION... HE IS...
KARRLL... “THE DRAAAGOOON”... BRRRROOOOOWWWWWNNN!!!
DT: Big ovation for the Empire Pro Television Champion as he makes his way to the ring!
MN: Yet ANOTHER King of the Cage LOSER in this match...
DM: Hey, at least he was able to walk away with the TV Title... and if you ask me, he’s bringing a great deal of PRESTIGE back to that title!
DT: “The Dragon” is one of the most decorated and experienced men in Empire Pro... but tonight, this veteran is putting his honor and integrity on the line against two hungry competitors who would no doubt want a shot at his Television Title. But to get there, they have to PIN HIM first...
DM: And very few have ever managed THAT over Karl Brown!
[CUE UP: “Phenomenah” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The crowd POPS LOUDLY AGAIN as “THE PHENOM” SHAWN HART drives out onto the stage in his golf cart, grinning wide and waving to the fans while holding out the IC Title. The vehicle makes an awkward zig-zag down the ramp before crashing briefly into the barricade to give him a chance for a photo op. He leans in and beams a smile cheek-to-cheek with a young female fan as she snaps a shot off her iPhone. We’ll no doubt see it here on Twitter in a minute.]
TF: And his partner... from Orlando, Florida... he weighs in at two-hundred and fifteen pounds... he is the EPW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION... HE IS...
“THE PHENOM”... SHAAWWNN... JESSICAA... HART... EEEEESSQUUUIIIIRRREE!!!!
DT: “The Phenom” Shawn Hart making his way to the ring now, as clumsy and charismatic as ever!
MN: I still can’t get over the fact that he’s represent our company as the INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION! I remember a time when HE was the TV Champ, and his partner BROWN was the long-time IC Champ!
DM: And in a weird twist of fate, these two men have swapped titles... now finding themselves on the same side in this tag team match.
DT: The two of them will have to use every last bit of their wits and veteran experience to overcome the team of newcomers in Donovan Astros and Michael Bastard.
MN: Come ON... these two guys are supposed to represent our federation’s BEST! This should be a walk in the park for these two... SHOULD BE, anyway. I happen to know of MANY guys back in that locker room who could represent EPW better than the clown and boy scout there...
[Hart and Brown meet up at ringside, share a handshake a few brief words before jumping up to the apron and hitting the ring. Both men take opposite corners and show of their belts while firing up the crowd. When the music cuts, they meet in the corner opposite of Bastard and Astros before handing their titles over to the timekeeper.]
[Referee Emilio Gomez makes his final checks. After some deliberation, Shawn Hart elects to start things off on behalf of the challengers. On the other side of the ring, Michael Bastard gets some words of advice from the Amazing Logan standing on the floor nearby, and decides to take a spot on the apron without really giving Donovan Astros a say in the matter.]
DM: You really have to wonder if Donovan Astros and Michael Bastard are on the same page here.
MN: Do you really expect them to be, Dave? I mean, only the man that gets the PIN is walking away with a title shot. They might be sharing the same turnbuckle, but there’s a definite conflict of interests there...
DT: All the same, these two newcomers will need to cooperate if either of them hopes to walk out of here with a title shot at either of these champions!
[With the two legal men in the ring, Gomez gives the signal to the timekeeper...]
SFX: *DING!-DING!*
DT: Our first match tonight is underway, and here comes Donovan Astros out of his corner, looking eager to get this started! Hart steps up to the middle of the ring meet him, and there’s the LOCK-UP!
DM: Both men struggling for leverage... and ASTROS finds it, quickly twisting the Intercontinental Champ into a hammerlock! Astros trying to wrench that arm... but Hart, cool as ever, pops that free arm back and catches him in the kisser with an elbow!
DT: Hart slipping free... moving FAST and into the ropes now – NO!! Astros puts him down with a standing shoulder block! Astros in motion now, into the ropes... Hart flips over, and Astros HURDLES him into the other set of ropes... Hart to his feet and MEETS ASTROS with a HIPTOSS – oh wait, REVERSED –
DM: DONOVAN ASTROS with a Hiptoss of his own! Hart bounces off the mat, and quickly scrambles to his feet... but Astros DROPS HIM AGAIN with a charging lariat!
MN: Man, the Intercontinental Champ is getting SCHOOLED in there!
DT: Rocky start for the champion thus far, as the new talent, Donovan Astros, brings a fairly spirited offense in the opening moments of this match!
DM: Hart trying to get to his feet, but Astros is already on top of him with a front facelock! Hooking the arm now... OH MAN!! UP and OVER with a VERTICLE SUPLEX!!
DT: Astros is really taking it to the champ now! Lateral press, going for the COVER!
One!
Two!
Quick kickout by Hart! “The Phenom” quickly rolls away, and makes the tag to Karl Brown waiting on the apron! Let’s see if the TV Champion can get anything going for his team!
DM: There’s the collar and elbow tie-up... but Brown’s got some momentum on his side, pressing Astros right into the corner! Clean break... and “The Dragon” NAILS the knife-edge chop to the exposed chest of Astros! There’s a SECOND chop, leaving the Empire Pro newcomer reeling!
MN: Well, at least SOMEBODY is trying to protect this federation’s integrity...
DT: There’s the IRISH WHIP to the opposite corner... and Astros CONNECTS! Astros stumbling out, and here comes Brown, charging after him – NO!! Astros counters with a DROP TOE HOLD to put him to the mat!
DM: There’s a quick cross-over, and Astros slaps on a chinlock to keep “The Dragon” on the mat! The TV Champion doesn’t stay down long, however... forcing himself to his knees... back to his FEET... Brown looking for a BACK SUPLEX – OH WAIT, ASTROS LANDS ON HIS FEET!!
DT: Astros hooking the waist from behind, looking for a GERMAN SUPLEX – NO!! Brown ROLLS FORWARD... hooking the LEGS – and he’s ROLLS ASTROS TO THE MAT with a DOUBLE LEG CRADLE!!
One!
Two!
Astros kicks out! Both men scrambling to their feet... and BROWN catches Astros with an armdrag to put him to the mat!
DM: Quick transition to an ARMBAR! Brown trying to cinch it in, but Astros quickly drags his body near the edge of the ring and grabs a hold of the bottom rope! Great awareness on the part of the EPW newcomer, and Brown promptly breaks the hold and lets him to his feet...
MN: He could have milked that a bit longer if he wanted to...
DT: He could have, but “The Dragon” is the kind of man who wants only a clean fight. Brown waiting for Astros to come at him again, but Donovan looking a little hesitant... and he opts to tag in his partner, Michael Bastard!
DM: Bastard’s in the ring in a heartbeat! No doubt, he’s tired of watching this from the outside looking in, and now he wants a piece of the action! Here comes Brown for the lock-up, but Bastard CATCHES HIM with a boot to the gut!
DT: Brown doubled over, and now Bastard LAYS INTO HIS NECK AND BACK with some HARD forearm shots! Brown down to his KNEES... and Bastard puts a KNEE right into the side of his head to put him down the rest of the way! Man, Bastard doesn’t hold ANYTHING back with those strikes!
MN: He’s got a real “take no prisoners” approach in that ring, and I can respect that! At least he knows what’s on the LINE here!
DM: Brown is left stunned on the mat, and Bastard quickly bounces himself off the ropes... BIG KNEE DROP nails the TV Champ right in the sternum!
DT: Michael Bastard is wasting no time, and the Amazing Logan looks quite pleased with his work thus far! Bastard hooking the legs, going for the PIN!
One!
Two!
NO!! Brown kicks out... but almost as soon as he sits up, Bastard delivers a HARD KICK right to his spine to keep him reeling on the mat!
DM: Bastard’s just RELENTLESS right now! Brown trying to get up again, but Bastard helps him up the rest of the way... and SCOOPS HIM UP over his shoulder! Bastard... charging toward the TURNBUCKLE – NO, WAIT!! BROWN SLIPS DOWN HIS BACK!!
MN: D’OH!!
DT: Karl Brown with a SHOVE, and Michael Bastard’s FACE connects with the top turnbuckle! I think Bastard was intending to put the TV Champion there instead, but the quick reflexes and awareness on the part of “The Dragon” prevented that from happening!
DM: Bastard stumbling backwards – WALKS RIGHT INTO A RELEASED GERMAN SUPLEX from the waiting Karl Brown!
Crowd: *POP!!*
DT: Brown with the opportunity to turn things around! He’s forcing himself to his feet, and heading for his corner, where Shawn Hart eagerly has his hand outstretched, ready to get back into this match! Bastard’s up... tries going after him, but he’s not going to get there! Tag is MADE!
DM: Here comes Hart... OH WOW, WITH A SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK into the ring, catching an unsuspecting Michael Bastard who was blindly charging into his opponents’ corner! He might be vicious, but he ain’t too SMART!
MN: That’s why he’s got a brilliant manager in the Amazing Logan! Unfortunately, Logan can’t be there in his ear ALL the time!
DT: The Amazing Logan, shouting to his protégé' from the ringside area, telling him to get up... but the Intercontinental Champion’s already a step ahead of the young Michael Bastard!
DM: Here’s Hart, locking the leg in place... BRIDGING BACK with a BEAUTIFUL ESS-TEE-EFF!! Michael Bastard’s got NOWHERE to go now!
DT: Hart’s got great form on that submission hold, and he’s in an excellent position! He’s got him in the middle of the ring... a LONG way from making a tag to Donovan Astros! Bastard can only reach out helplessly while the Amazing Logan tells him to hang on from the outside!
DM: Looks like the technical prowess of the team of Brown and Hart have proven too much for the blunt-force attacks of Michael Bastard!
MN: Don’t count this kid out just yet...
DT: Bastard reaching in vain... but his face shows more RAGE than pain right now! Bastard, with his arms outstretched... oh wow, LOOK AT THIS... Michael Bastard is DRAGGING his way to ropes! Shawn Hart can only shake his head in DISBELIEF!!
DM: That’s some remarkable resistance on the part of Bastard, fighting the pain and crawling on his belly one inch at a time in the direction of his corner! Astros REACHING over the ropes now! Michael Bastard is ALMOST THERE, and the Intercontinental Champion knows that he can’t stop him!
DT: Looks like he’s realizing that now, breaking the STF, and trying to switch up into a leglock! Bastard rolling over onto his back as Hart puts the leg-scissor around that trapped leg... OH WAIT!! BASTARD USING THAT FREE LEG TO KICK HIM AWAY!!
MN: That kid’s not going to let ANYTHING pin him down!
DT: Hart just LOST HIS GRIP, and now Bastard SLIPS AWAY... he MAKES THE TAG TO ASTROS!!
DM: Astros storming into the ring, as the Intercontinental Champion gets to his feet! Astros MEETS HIM with some heavy rights and lefts, backing him into the ropes... Hart bounces off with the WHIP... here he comes off the other set of ropes... and Astros SENDS HIM WAAAYY INTO THE AIR with a Back Body Drop!
DT: Donovan Astros almost had enough elevation to throw the Intercontinental Champion from the RING! Hart is definitely struggling to get any offense on this young and hungry new talent!
MN: Really says something about our IC champ, to see him get his ass handed to him by a rookie!
DM: Or maybe Donovan Astros’ skills are more than we bargained for! Hart back to his feet, but too dazed to act! Here comes Astros from behind, hooking the arms... TWISTS HIM AROUND... OH MAN, DRIVES HIM FACE-FIRST TO THE MAT with an Inverted Underhook DDT!!
DT: I believe he calls that one the ASTROCIDE!! And that may have done the trick on Shawn Hart! Astros makes the cover, and hooks the legs!
ONE!
TWO!
NO!! A near three-count, but the Intercontinental Champion kicks out!
MN: Lucky he did, because I highly doubt he wants to see this guy again with his belt on the line!
DM: Astros has a handful of Shawn Hart’s HAIR as he brings him off the mat and leads him back to his corner! There’s the tag to Michael Bastard, who’s looking for a little payback! Bastard back in the ring... and DOUBLES OVER the Intercontinental Champ with a HARD kick right to the mid-section!
DT: Hart’s going to feel that one for a while... Bastard quickly slaps on a front-facelock... going for a SWINGING NECKBREAKER – NO, HE SPINS THROUGH and BLASTS THE BACK OF HART’S HEAD with a FOREARM SMASH!!
DM: That’s the BLACK-OUT!! Hart hits the mat like a TON OF BRICKS! Bastard rolls him over... lateral press for the PIN!
ONE!
TWO!
TH—NO!! Hart slips out the back door! I’m sure if Michael Bastard had hooked the legs, he’d be looking forward to a shot at that Intercontinental Title right now!
MN: Donovan Astros breathes a sigh of relief...
DM: The Amazing Logan is telling Bastard to press him, and his protégé follows the advice by mounting Hart’s chest! Bastard LAYING INTO HART’S FACE with some HEAVY SHOTS!! He’s clearly using his FISTS in there, and Gomez is warning him about it!
DT: I don’t think Bastard HEARS HIM!! Bastard WAILING AWAY at the Intercontinental Champ, and now Emilio Gomez has to PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN HIM to make him stop! Bastard looks FURIOUS, but the ref threatens to disqualify him if he doesn’t honor his authority!
MN: That twerp better WATCH HIMSELF if he doesn’t want to end up in Shawn Hart’s place!
DM: The Amazing Logan advises his man to take a breather and cool off... and Michael Bastard goes to make the tag to put Donovan Astros back into this match! These two might have different agendas, but they’re doing a damn fine job of cooperating in singling out Shawn Hart and preventing him from making it back to Karl Brown through some quick back-and-forth tags. Astros in quickly before Hart has a chance to recover... puts him BACK to the mat with a side-headlock takedown!
DT: Astros has a vice-like grip around the Intercontinental Champion’s head! Hart is looking in bad shape right now! The team of newcomers have been dominating him for many minutes of this match! I dare say he didn’t quite expect what Bastard and Astros would bring into this competition...
MN: Or maybe it just goes to prove that Hart’s a HACK!
DM: Considering he’s the federation’s standard-bearer for our Intercontinental division, I’d certainly hope that’s NOT the case, Neels! But Dave is right; Hart is definitely having an OFF night tonight.
DT: Whatever the case may be, we can’t count out Shawn Hart’s definable ability to make a strong comeback when things are looking grim. Right now though, he’s on his side, making no attempt to escape the hold!
MN: Bastard must have done a real number on him earlier...
Crowd: “HART! HART! HART! HART!”
DT: Here come the FANS, on the side of the Intercontinental Champion! “The Phenom”... finding that inspiration to FIGHT now... now he’s FORCING HIMSELF up!
DM: Hart’s up to a KNEE... BOTH KNEES... BACK ON HIS FEET! We could be seeing that comeback you were talking about RIGHT HERE, Dave!
DT: Astros still trying to wrench that head, but Hart delivers a SHOT TO THE MID-SECTION... there’s ANOTHER... and a THIRD is finally enough to break the hold! Hart – into the ropes IMMEDIATELY – and INTO THE AIR WITH A CROSS-BODY –
DM: – ASTROS CATCHES HIM!!
*SFX: SLAM!!!*
Crowd: “OOOoohh...”
MN: OOH, BABY!! You were meaning to say “Cross-Body POWERSLAM”, right Dave?
DT: That took all of the wind right out of Shawn Hart’s sails! He made a very spirited attempt to turn things around for the team of champions, but Donovan Astros is thinking one step ahead of him here tonight!
DM: Astros brings a near lifeless Shawn Hart back to his feet now... front facelock... OH MAN, ASTROS PLANTS HIM FACE-FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH A SPINNING IMPLANT DDT!! I believe he calls that one the ASTROLABE!!
MN: Man, what is it with these new guys and all the goofy names for their moves?
DT: That may have done it for the Intercontinental Champion! Astros makes the cover... HOOKS THE LEGS...
ONE!!
TWO – NO!! Broken up by “The Dragon!”
DM: Karl Brown makes a much needed save, although I couldn’t help but notice that Michael Bastard had one leg through the ropes, ready to jump in and break it up himself! There’s no question about it... he wants to leave tonight with a shot at Empire Pro gold.
DT: We can only assume as to whether or not that’s on HIS agenda, or that of the Amazing Logan’s! Back to the action... Astros giving the Television Champ a piece of his mind as Emilio Gomez escorts him back to his corner! Brown back to the apron without much resistance.
DM: Wise move to let those words roll off his back. He could do his tag partner a lot worse by keeping the referee’s eyes turned away from his opponents’ corner, especially given one of those opponents is the virulent Michael Bastard! But Brown’s been in this business too long to make that kind of mistake. He’s going to keep his cool and wait for his opportunity to get back into the ring...
MN: If he even GETS such an opportunity...
DM: Astros dumps an exhausted and weary Shawn Hart into his corner... and makes the tag to Michael Bastard! Bastard back into the ring... no doubt, he knows that there’s not much left in Shawn Hart, and he’ll definitely want to be in the ring for the finishing blow!
DT: Hart will make his comeback, mark my words... Bastard with some HARD KICKS to the mid-section of Hart while he’s trapped in the corner! Gomez COUNTING... now GETTING IN THE WAY and pushing Bastard back! Somebody needs to keep a LEASH on that rabid animal of a man!
MN: Who the hell do you think that guy is outside the ring, cheering him on?! That “rabid animal” is not only ON a leash, but also trained to SIC on the Amazing Logan’s command!
DM: Bastard brushing by the ref to get back to Hart... there’s a handful of HAIR as he pulls him out and THROWS HIM back-first to the mat! Hart looks to be in a TREMENDOUS amount of pain right now!
DT: Michael Bastard hesitating – we’ve hardly ever seen him do THAT before – as he looks down with DISGUST at the Intercontinental Champion! Meanwhile, “The Phenom” Shawn Jessica Hart, PEE-ACHE-DEE, feebly attempts to crawl to his corner, reaching out to the waiting Karl Brown, who seems to be MILES away! Hart looks completely devoid of ALL STRENGTH right now!
DM: But MICHAEL BASTARD gets to him first! Bastard grabbing a handful of HAIR and yanking his head back... AND THRUSTING HIS THUMB INTO THE AIR!! He’s going for the RUSTY SPIKE!!
Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!”
MN: Oh yeah, time to put THIS one away!
DT: Bastard looking for that shot at Shawn Hart’s Intercontinental Title, as he pulls the mat to his feet... hooks the ARM into a chickenwing... and THRUSTS THAT THUMB DOWN INTO HIS – OH WAIT!! HART GOT THE ARM UP!! Hart is BLOCKING THE RUSTY SPIKE!!
Crowd: *POP!!*
DM: Hart’s got FIGHT LEFT IN HIM AFTER ALL!! Bastard GRITTING HIS TEETH, trying to FORCE that thumb violently into Shawn Hart’s windpipe, but Hart’s FOREARM is in the way, trying to force it AWAY!!
DT: COME ON, SHAWN!!
MN: COME ON, YOU BASTARD!!
DM: Both men dancing in CIRCLES around the ring, caught in a life and death struggle... AND HART JUST FORCES BASTARD’S HAND AWAY –
DT: – AND HE IMMEDIATELY COUNTERS WITH THE HART ON!! MY GOD, WHAT A HART ON!!
Crowd: *POP!!!*
DM: That was just pure desperation there... but that was ALL IT TOOK for Shawn Hart to FINALLY turn this match around! Now is his chance to make it to the corner and tag the Television Champ back into this contest!
DT: COME ON, SHAWN, YOU CAN DO IT!! Hart... KICKING HIS LEGS on the mat as he fights the PAIN and DIGS DEEP for the strength! He’s REACHING OUT to Brown’s outstretched hand and inching his way on his BELLY to his corner!
DM: He’s gotta hurry! Bastard... briefly dazed, but completely aware of the situation, is crawling toward HIS corner at an alarmingly fast pace! The Amazing Logan is SCREAMING at him to hurry!
DT: My God, how does ANYBODY come back from the HART ON that quickly?!
MN: That kid could get hit by a CAR and not feel it...
DM: Bastard inches away... Hart, maybe only a few more... AND BASTARD MAKES THE TAG!! Here’s DONOVAN ASTROS into the ring, SPRINTING FOR SHAWN HART –
DT: HART DIVES... YES, HE MAKES THE TAG!!
Crowd: *POP!!!*
MN: DAMNIT!!
DT: “THE DRAGON” STORMS BACK INTO THE RING, and Astros tires to PUT ON THE BRAKES... but instead, he runs into a KNIFE-EDGE CHOP with enough force to FLIP HIM AROUND!!
DM: Brown locks the arms... FOLLOWS THROUGH WITH A BEAUTIFUL DRAGON SUPLEX ON DONOVAN ASTROS!!! Brown POPS TO HIS FEET and SETS THE CROWD ON FIRE!!
Crowd: “DRA-GON!! DRA-GON!! DRA-GON!! DRA-GON!!”
DT: Wait a second, here comes MICHAEL BASTARD, charging up behind him with a CLOTHESLINE – OH NO!! BROWN HEARD HIM COMING AND DUCKED AT THE LAST SECOND!! Brown with the FULL-NELSON – and THERE’S A DRAGON SUPLEX ON MICHAEL BASTARD!!!
DM: Karl Brown is CLEANING HOUSE!!
MN: Well, I guess it’s high time SOMEBODY started pulling the weight for that team!
DT: Brown looming over Astros now, as the newcomer tries to get to his feet in the corner! Brown has him TRAPPED... and LAYS RIGHT INTO THE EXPOSED CHEST with a POWERFUL KNIFE-EDGE CHOP!!
Crowd: “WHOOOOO!!”
DM: I bet you could hear that all the way down the BLOCK!! Brown with ANOTHER CHOP... and ANOTHER!! Man, he’s turning the chest of Donovan Astros BEET RED!!
DT: Astros is in a LOAD of pain now... and here’s Brown with the IRISH WHIP... Astros CONNECTS HARD, and stumbles out of the opposite corner – AND WALKS RIGHT INTO A T-BONE SUPLEX FROM KARL BROWN!!
MN: Brownie’s whippin’ out those suplexes like NOBODY’S business tonight!
DT: Here’s Brown WITH THE COVER on Donovan Astros... COULD THIS BE IT?!
ONE!!
TWO!!
THR – NO!! Almost a three-count, but Astros managed to kick out! The veteran newcomer will keep this match going, but right now, he has to deal with a Television Champion who is ON FIRE!!
DM: Brown quickly grabs Astros before he can get to his feet, and... OH MAN, HE LOCKS IN THE DRAGON SLEEPER!!
DT: Astros trying to free himself, but Karl Brown has it LOCKED IN TIGHT!! Can Donovan Astros withstand this submission hold?!
DM: Looks like he won’t HAVE TO – MICHAEL BASTARD BREAKS IT UP WITH THE SHORT-ARM CLOTHESLINE RIGHT TO THE BACK OF BROWN’S HEAD!!
MN: Yeah, he didn’t duck THAT time!
DT: That finally cut Karl Brown’s momentum short, and now Michael Bastard relentlessly STOMPS AWAY at him until Emilio Gomez pushes him off and orders him out of the ring! Astros has a chance to capitalize now... recovering as quick as he can from that sleeper, and getting to Brown before the TV Champion can get back to his feet! He hooks the arms... looking for a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX – BUT WAIT, BROWN BLOCKS IT!!
DM: Brown HOOKED HIS LEG... and now he’s TWISTING AROUND – HE REVERSES WITH A BACKSLIDE PIN!!
DT: WHAT A COUNTER!!
ONE!!
TWO!!
ASTROS KICKS OUT!! “The Dragon” almost STOLE IT right there!
DM: Donovan Astros is looking FRUSTRATED now... both men SCRAMBLE to their feet! He’s Astros, swinging a fist – BUT KARL BROWN BLOCKS IT, and quickly locks it into an ARM WRENCH!!
DT: Astros buckling under that pain... and now Brown leads him back to his corner... and HE TAGS SHAWN HART back in! Hart going to the TOP ROPE... BIG DOUBLE AXE-HANDLE SMASH RIGHT TO THE SHOULDER!! Finally, the EPW Champions are beginning to gain some control of this match!
MN: Wait until that crazy BASTARD gets back in the ring...
DT: Hart getting the crowd PUMPED UP now... bringing Donovan Astros to his feet, and whipping to the ropes – wait, BLIND TAG MADE BY MICHAEL BASTARD!!
DM: Hart waiting with a back body drop... but Astros CATCHES HIM with an elbow right to the back of the neck! He doesn’t even realize yet that he’s no longer the legal man, as Bastard slips into the ring behind him!
MN: I guess he got tired of waiting, and decided to take initiative before this moron cost him the match!
DT: Astros still manhandling Shawn Hart... he slaps on the front facelock... lifts him up for a SUPLEX – OH WAIT, HE SLINGSHOTS HIM OFF THE ROPES – AND DRILLS HIM RIGHT INTO THE MAT WITH A BRAINBUSTER!!!
DM: THE SLINGSHOT EFFECT!!! He got it off THIS TIME, and that just left Shawn Hart COMPLETELY MOTIONLESS on the mat!
DT: Astros going for the COVER, unaware that he’s not the legal man! Gomez trying to explain it, and now Astros is getting back to his feet, trying to figure out what’s happen – OH WAIT, BASTARD PEARL HARBORS HIM FROM BEHIND!! Bastard just went after HIS OWN PARNTER!!
MN: Oh man, that is POETICALLY BEAUTIFUL!! I LOVE a good betrayal!
DT: Bastard has Astros by the head... leading him over the champions’ corner now – OH GOD, WHAT SAVAGERY!! KARL BROWN GETS KNOCKED FROM THE APRON AS MICHAEL BASTARD THROWS HIS OWN TAG PARTNER THROUGH THE ROPES AND FROM THE RING!!
DM: I don’t believe it... BASTARD’S GOT AN UNCONSCIOUS SHAWN HART ALONE IN THE RING WITH HIM!! The Amazing Logan is SCREAMING “FINISH HIM OFF!! FINISH HIM OFF!”
DT: Bastard peels Hart off the mat... LIFTS HIM UP... AND PLANTS HIM WITH THE BASTARD DRIVER!! MY GOD, THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION HAS HAD HIS HEAD DRIVEN STRAIGHT INTO THAT MAT TWICE NOW!!
MN: Let’s hope he’s a VEGETABLE!
DT: Brown and Astros are too busy mixing it up outside the ring... and now Michael Bastard is GOING FOR THE PIN...
ONE!!!
TWO!!!
THREE!! HE DID IT!! HE JUST PINNED THE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION!!!
SFX: *DING! DING! DING!*
TF: Ladies and gentlemen... HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS... DONOVAN ASTROS... and MMMIIICHAEEELL BAAAASSTAAARRD!!!
[CUE UP: “All Secrets Known.” The Amazing Logan hops into the ring and nearly TACKLES Michael Bastard as he comes to his feet. The referee raises his arm in victory before he promptly rips it away and threatens to strike him. Gomez clears the ring as the Amazing Logan continues celebrating and Bastard looks down at the fallen body of the Intercontinental Champion, Shawn Hart... a detached and murderous look in his eyes. Meanwhile, Donovan Astros and Karl Brown stop scrapping as soon as they hear the bell ring, coming to the realization that the match is over. Astros looks FURIOUS, while Brown is simply dismayed.]
DM: I don’t believe it, but... the CHAMPIONS have been BEATEN by the NEW GUYS!!
DT: And what’s more, Michael Bastard has earned a SHOT at Shawn Hart’s Intercontinental Title... with a little unintentional help from his partner, Donovan Astros!
MN: Man, you have to hand it to the Bastard... he played that PERFECTLY!
DT: Astros is no doubt upset to miss out on a chance for a title shot, but probably even MORE upset over the fact that his own tag partner stabbed him in the back!
MN: Oh, who cares!? He was on the WINNING TEAM, wasn’t he?
DM: If it’s any consolation to Donovan Astros, he picks up his first win here in Empire Pro... but Michael Bastard has reaped the rewards! The bigger question on my mind is, can Shawn Hart come back from this defeat and defend his title? Or could the future Intercontinental Champion be the man standing over him RIGHT NOW? Is this the first step in Michael Bastard’s violent reign of dominance over Empire Pro gold?
DT: Who knows, at this point? Regardless, and impressive showing from all men involved! Karl Brown doesn’t have to worry about meeting either of these men again anytime soon when it comes to defending the TV Title, but it’s going to be a different story for Shawn Hart here very soon.
DM: In the meantime, Donovan Astros and Michael Bastard have definitely sent a message here tonight! The future of Empire Pro HAS ARRIVED, and the old guard have been put on notice!
DT: We have to take a quick commercial break, ladies and gentlemen, but when we come back... we start off the next round of the KING OF THE CAGE TOURNAMENT, so don’t go away!
[The camera fades out on Michael Bastard’s sneering face as the fans BOO throughout the arena.]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(EPW interviewer Kenny Lombardo is getting a cup of coffee backstage when a backstage worker approaches him with an envelope)
Worker: Lombardo. Got something for you.
Lombardo: A letter? Who even sends letters anymore? There's not even a name on it.
Worker: No longer my problem. Enjoy.
Lombardo: Well, who gave it to you to deliver?
Worker: Some kid. I didn't recognize him. Gotta go back to work now.
(The worker leaves. Lombardo, looking perplexed, opens the envelope and reads aloud the letter inside)
Lombardo: "At Aggression 52, a great injustice was done to me. Every stakeholder in EPW saw it happen and could have intervened, but chose not to, too absorbed in their own self-promotion to do what was right, to see what was done to me as a threat to this business and everyone in it and react accordingly. While I have made it part of my mission to impress upon the rest of the EPW locker room, through any means necessary, the critical importance that my efforts here succeed, I cannot sit idly by and let the person who did me wrong escape repercussion. Tonight, I will punish the person who wronged me at Aggression 52 and send a message to all of EPW that they can only expect worse if they continue on their current path. Signed, Copycat."
(Lombardo, though done reading, remains transfixed on the note)
Lombardo ... Where do I even start to warn people about this?
....
