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Aggression 62: Charleston, SC - 11/19/11


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
TF: This contest is a non – title match, scheduled for one fall with a thirty minute time limit. Introducing first… representing Team VIAGRA…

[CUE UP: “Dance - Sing” by Ice Cream Fire. The fans give a nice ovation.]

DT: Looks like we're starting things off with a bang tonight! Good evening fans, my name is Dave Thomas and I'm here as always with Dean Matthews and Mike Neely, and welcome to EPW AGGRESSION!

TF: From McCandless, Pennsylvania and weighing in at one hundred and eighteen pounds… the MAYFLY… the Strategic Prodigy… Six Feet of Dynamite in a Five Foot Package… MARY… LYNN… MAYWEATHER!!

MN: Could he be kissing her ass any more?

DT: Will you cut it out? He’s simply giving Mayweather a nice introduction; she’s a highly trained wrestler whose only contribution to EPW so far was a six man tag team match at Aggression 60: this is the first time we’re going to see what she can do by herself.

MN: There you go.

DT: What?

MN: Six – man tag match? You’re biased against her.

DM: It’s an expression, Mike. Pay attention for five minutes and you might learn something.

MN: Who are you?

DT: Mary-Lynn Mayweather has reached the ring, and she’s slapping hands with as many fans as she can find on all sides. She has a lot of support from the wrestling community in general, but she’s often overlooked in favor of her much more legendary teammates.

DM: Notoriety and fame are very much separate from talent and ability, Dave. Mayweather is highly capable and highly talented, and that happens independently of press.

TF: And her opponent…

MN: Glad to see he remembered she’s a she. Ring boy goes on autopilot quite a bit.

[CUE UP: “Revolution Baby” by Queen V]

TF: From New York City… weighing in at one hundred eighty eight pounds… He is the current reigning INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION of the Empire… THIS… IS… IMMMMMMMPULSE!!!

DT: Massive ovation for the Intercontinental Champion, Impulse! He’s entering the arena solo this week; conspicuous by her absence is one miss Calico Rose.

DM: Miss Rose landed on a chair last week at the hands of Stalker, we do wish her a speedy recovery.

MN: We do? This is professional wrestling, Dean. You have to be prepared for anything. These athletes get slammed on chairs all the time and they never take time off.

DT: She’s not a wrestler, Mike.

MN: Apples and oranges, Burgerman. You get in the ring, you take your chance.

DM: It’s probably not a worthwhile tradeoff for Impulse but at least he’s without his valet against an opponent where he probably won’t have to worry about interference or any kind of outside chicanery.

DT: Good point, Dean. Impulse making his way to the ring with a warm welcome by these fans, he’s really made a name for himself so far in EPW. I believe he’s still undefeated, am I correct, Dean?

DM: Technically, but there has been a pinfall and some close calls in tag team competition. Still, there’s always a wrestler out there who’s got your number any night of the week.

MN: Wouldn’t it be great if Mayweather had Impulse’s number tonight? Even though it’s non-title, he’d be all humiliated and embarrassed and probably retire out of shame.

DT: The views of Mike Neely are his own, and do not represent the views of Empire Pro Wrestling or the rest of the commentary team. Complaints or protests can be sent to owner Dan Ryan, care of Empire Pro Wrestling, PO Box 15115—

MN: Hah, hah, hah.


DT: Impulse hands the Intercontinental Championship belt to the timekeeper – this is not a title match so he does not hand it off to the referee – and we’ve got a match!

MN: It’s about time. You two just talk and talk…

DT: Impulse offers his hand, and Mayweather shakes to a nice reaction from the crowd. Sad Prince and Meaningless, indeed!

DM: You don’t see the pre – match handshake, free of shenanigans, all too often.

DT: They lock up, and Impulse just forcefully backed Mayweather into the corner! This may be the only time Impulse actually has a height and weight advantage over his opponent, and he’s taking full advantage! The referee calls for a break, and we’ve got a clean break!

MN: Booooring!

DT: Mayweather circles the Intercontinental champion, and they lock up again! She’s really digging in, but he’s just too powerful for her, and another walk backwards into the corner, and another clean break!

MN: Clean breaks are boring. When is she going to give us a nutshot? When is he going to give us a boob punch? Kick her in the box!

DM: … I don’t think I even have the words for what you are.

DT: Mayweather with a deep exhale, and they circle each other again… Lock up! Impulse has the advantage again, he’s walking her toward the ropes – Mayweather dropped to her knees and took Impulse over with an armdrag!

DM: You lower your center of gravity and you can get a lot more leverage in there.

DT: Impulse with a headscissors, and he pulls Mayweather over! She hooks the bottom rope with her ankles, and Impulse breaks the hold, and we’re right back to where we started.

DM: Not surprising.

MN: Because they stink at this?

DM: No, because when you’re matching skill, when you’re not in a life or death struggle, when you’re against someone with similar background and tactics, you’re going to hold – counterhold for a good portion of the match.

MN: I like my answer better.

DT: They lock up, and this time Impulse immediately moves to a side headlock! It makes sense, he’s unaccustomed to being the one shoving his opponent into the corner or the ropes, he’s not set on what to do once they’re there.

DM: Valid point, Dave. There are people who say Impulse is the best wrestler, pound for pound, in the world today—

MN: Including himself, the egomaniac.

DM: —but the knowledge and ability can hit a wall if you don’t regularly exercise the skills in question. I would put my money against Impulse against most opponents in a mat wrestling contest, but in a situation where the size of his opponent puts him in the driver’s seat, it’s not a position I think he’s used to.

DT: Impulse really grinding in on that headlock; holds like this can really do a lot more to wear an opponent down than people think – Mayweather locks her arms around his waist and tries to lift him!

MN: Of course she can’t.

DT: What?

MN: She’s a girl.

DM: Mayweather with a forearm to the kidneys! She got him up!

DT: No she didn’t! It was close but Impulse managed to keep a foot on the ground! Headlock takedown!

DM: I think she might’ve been onto something there, and he wanted to cut it off at the pass.

DT: The referee is down on the mat to check for Mayweather’s shoulders, to see if they’re on the mat, but at the moment she is keeping one shoulder free. Mayweather rolls Impulse over onto his shoulders, ONE… TWO—He’s back in position.

DM: There’s an inherent risk to any move that gives your opponent any cause for leverage: if they can roll you onto your shoulders the match can be over before it even starts.

DT: Another roll – NO! Mayweather just rolled Impulse all the way over, she’s still in the headlock but she’s on top!

MN: And I bet she just cracked that painful kink out of her neck.

DT: Impulse pulled her over again and we’re back to where we started – Mayweather with a foot on the ropes! Impulse breaks!

DM: Not quite where we started.

DT: Impulse leads the applause for Mayweather’s innovative reversal, and we lock up again! Side headlock – Mayweather with a forearm to the side! Another! A third! SIDE SUPLEX! She’s back to her feet in an instant, and off the ropes… Impulse stays on the mat to let her go over, and he’s up – Hip toss—REVERSAL! Modified tornado DDT from Mayweather! Impulse is up to his knees quickly, but his bell’s been rung… Bulldog from Mayweather just drove him face first into the mat! Rollover and a quick cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout! Impulse rolls to the ropes to help himself up, and Mayweather is pacing like a caged animal! Listen to these fans!

[SFX: Fans chanting ‘EM-EL-EM! EM-EL-EM!’]

[CUTTO: Ringside, right by Impulse. He looks toward the fans with a raised eyebrow, and looks back toward Mayweather and nods approvingly.]

DM: Impulse has said it, and I think he’s proved it, that anyone can beat anyone on any given night: Mary Lynn Mayweather is proving it herself right now.

DT: They’re up again, and they lock up – Mayweather with a knee to the gut! Forearm to the face! She whips Impulse into the ropes… reversal… Drop toe hold, and Impulse holds on with a single leg lock! They’re struggling; Impulse is trying to keep behind her and Mayweather is trying to flip herself over to try and kick him away, but with her constant struggling she’s keeping his leverage to a minimum.

MN: I don’t know if that’s legal, if she hasn’t given consent.

DT: Again, that address for comments and complaints about Mike Neely’s personal opinions—

DM: Even if he isn’t pressing enough force for a submission, the leverage that Impulse does have is undoubtedly doing some damage.

DT: Mayweather almost to the ropes… Impulse pulled her back! She’s stopped struggling, and the referee is in position, again checking for a submission. MAYWEATHER SPUN HER FREE LEG BACK AND CAUGHT IMPULSE ON THE SIDE OF THE HEAD! She’s broken the hold and knocked Impulse to the mat, and she’s off the ropes! Dropkick to the face as he rose to his feet! Cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout!

DM: He’s in an unusual position of trying to be the one who slows her down. Mayweather is much faster than Impulse but he’s second to none in stamina. I’m surprised he’s trying to control the pace of this match, the smarter strategy would be to play defense and let her tire.

DT: Mayweather is up again in a hurry, and she’s through the top and middle ropes! She pulls back just as Impulse is coming to, and a flying clothesline – IMPULSE WITH A SHOULDERBLOCK! They collided with each other, and Mayweather hit the mat!

DM: Just like that, the tide has turned.

MN: Like my stomach. When’s someone gonna grab a chair?

DT: Impulse with a quick cover, ONE… TWO… Kickout by Mayweather!

DM: Sometimes you can get a quick pin like that, but apparently not tonight.

DT: He pulls her to her feet, and a quick fist from Mayweather! Dodge! Uranage from Impulse! Another cover, ONE… TWO… Th-Kickout!

DM: She’s not getting up quite as fast this time, I think the wind might’ve been knocked out of her.

MN: That’s right, red… stay down.

DT: You really can’t deal with this, can you?

DM: Impulse with another hook, and he’s got Mayweather by the head and leg… Fisherman Suplex! ONE… TWO… TH—Mayweather with a quick kickout! Keeping the pressure on is a good idea here.

DT: I think he heard you, Impulse with a hook from behind, he’s got a half nelson with a neck hook, Mayweather is struggling, I don’t think she’s a danger to tap out unless she has no options, and you can see she’s trying every avenue of escape possible.

DM: That’s what separates the men from the boys, so to speak.

MN: And you say I’m sexist.

DT: Mayweather appears to be aiming herself at the corner this time, but Impulse is struggling.

DM: These two were playing chess a week ago, she’s got some kind of strategy, I think. There hasn’t been much of a killer instinct from either one of them so far, but my guess would be that they’re both trying to see two or three minutes ahead.

DT: The referee is still trying to get some kind of answer on a submission, but Mayweather hooks the middle turnbuckle with her foot and pulls them in close! Impulse nearly lost his balance there! Mayweather climbs the corner with Impulse as a brace, and she’s flipped them both over! Impulse’s head bounced off the mat, and Mayweather reaches over to hook a leg! ONE… TWO… TH—Kickout! Impulse rolls under the bottom rope for a breather!

MN: Coward.

DM: Strategy. He had the momentum, it was lost, he needs to break Mayweather’s stride.

DT: Referee is counting, Mayweather with a baseball slide! Impulse took it in the chest and staggered backwards, coughing! Mayweather to the top rope, and she flies through the air! IMPULSE WITH A FIST! Both of them are down, though Impulse is on his knees, and is slowly making his way to the apron!

DM: Those high risk moves can really backfire if they don’t land. Mayweather took that fist right in the stomach with her own momentum adding to the impact.

MN: Good thing she wasn’t pregnant. OR IS SHE?

DT: You’re bound and determined to get fired, aren’t you?

MN: Speculation isn’t a crime!

DT: Impulse with a hand on the bottom rope, and he pulls himself back into the ring. The count is broken, but Mayweather is still down, and the referee restarts!

DM: So, if she’s still down at… let’s say, five? Does Impulse bring her back or does he go for the countout?

DT: With a major event like Russian Roulette imminent, the smart move is probably to end the match as fast as possible. That said…

DM: …Impulse doesn’t do anything the easy way.

DT: He’s on his feet, as Mayweather is climbing up to do the same, and Impulse takes off against the opposite ropes! The referee doesn’t see him, otherwise I think he’d try to keep him in the ring – Impulse with a dive clear over the top rope! 270 splash, and they both hit the floor hard!

DM: The longer a match like this goes, with these two strategists, the more you’ll see those high risk moves get busted out.

DT: Impulse rolls Mayweather back into the ring and covers, ONE… TWO… THRE—KICKOUT! She’s not going down without a fight.

MN: S—

DT: Shut up, Mike!

DM: Impulse with a simple bodyslam, and another cover. If he put a little more push into the slam he could’ve knocked the wind out of her and gotten a win here.


DM: There you go.

DT: Impulse just pulled her up, and a whip into the corner! These fans have just gotten louder, they know what this is a setup for! SUDDEN IMPACT—MAYWEATHER GRABBED HIS FOOT AND FORCED HIM DOWN! ANKLELOCK SUBMISSION!

DM: Talk about a hail mary. Mayweather was obviously still in this enough to see the danger and reverse it, but if that kick had hit… that’s been curtains for every wrestler Impulse has faced to date in his career.

MN: Even worse, he’s about to get beat by a girl.

DM: Impulse has actually been notoriously difficult to get submissions against in his career so far.

[SFX: Audible groan from the crowd]


MN: …Eeew.

DM: And that’s the reason. His leg is bent at an unnatural angle from dislocating… something… it’s risky but it always gets at least a pause from his opponents.

DT: Mayweather needed to take a second to catch her breath from the assault on the outside, but that’s plenty of time. Impulse popped his knee back where it needed to go, but that took time that he didn’t have. High knee to his back, and Impulse hit the corner, chest first!

DM: He got out of the hold, but can he get back into the match?

DT: She’s got him lined up… Impulse turns around in time for M-KICKED—HE DUCKED AND CAUGHT HER LEG! HOOK AROUND THE WAIST!

MN: Looks like he’s got her set up for some hot wrestler on wrestler action.

DT: She’s going to see the replay, and she’s going to beat you up, and you’re going to deserve it.

DM: As disgusting as Neely sounds, Impulse has her ridiculously off balance and I don’t know if she can—



DM: Kickout, but far too late!

DT: Impulse pulled a victory out of nowhere, and Mayweather is sitting up, looking in disbelief! Impulse is on his feet, holding his knee gingerly as the referee raises his arm in victory!

DM: That match probably could’ve continued indefinitely, but I think there’s something to be said for ring awareness like that. A lot of wrestlers and fans forget that you’re looking for a three count, not necessarily beating your opponent to unconsciousness. Impulse got her shoulders down for the three, he wins.

DT: We’ve got a handshake and a round of applause for both of these athletes! I think we’re going to see these two mix it up at some point in the future, and I look forward to see what they can do against each other! We’ll be right back!
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Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX

[The camera pans to the backstage area where we see Empire Pro Intercontinental Champion Impulse talking to some road agents about the match he just finished. The champ holds the belt over his shoulder as he continues to speak. Unbeknownst to Impulse, “Sensational” Steven Shane has just turned the corner behind him. Impulse keeps talking as Shane slowly closes in on him. Once Shane finally reaches Impulse, he reaches out and places his hand on Impulse’s free shoulder…

Impulse turns his head, looks down at the hand on his shoulder, then turns completely around to face Shane, the title in his hands. ]

Impulse: You need something?

Shane: I can't help but notice you holding the belt there as if you'd kinda like to hit me with it. Is that hard to resist.

Impulse: Actually, it's not.

Shane: Well, I suppose when you look back at opportunities like these, you begin to realize that you should take advantage of them when you have the chance, because they just might not come around again.

[There's a pause as Shane smirks and Impulse's eyes narrow a bit.]

Impulse: Do you... need something other than to waste my time?

[Impulse stares through Shane as The Sensational One just gives a smile.]

Shane: (in a somewhat patronizing tone of voice) Actually no. I just wanted to find you and say “nice match.” I’ll see you later.

[Shane pats Impulse on the shoulder and walks away as Impulse refuses to take his eyes off of him until the camera fades out.]


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
Rezin vs. Olvir Arsvinnar

[CUE UP: “Master of Alchemy” by Electric Wizard. As the sludgy doom riff pumps in, torch-like pyrotechnics EXPLODE across the stage in a blinding light of fire. When they flicker out, REZIN emerges from the smoke, sneering into the booing audience and carrying his revamped resin-bong haphazardly by the stem. He lingers at the top of the ramp for a moment as they jeers fill the arena, and seems pleased with the heated reaction.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen... our first event for the evening is a singles contest set for one fall. Introducing first... from the Bottom of the Barrel... he weighs in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds... here is the GOAT BASTARD... RRREEEEEEEZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIINNNN!!!

DT: Here comes the traitor himself... and he doesn’t seem the LEAST bit bothered by the reaction of these fans!

MN: Should he be, Dave? Or does he just realize there’s no point in pleasing these fickle morons when they’re just going to FORGET you one day!

DM: Well, they haven’t yet forgotten what this man did to his friend and longtime tag team partner in “The Sonic Titan” Ivan Dalkichev! It was just two shows ago at Aggression 61 when he all but DESTROYED the Russian giant’s fragile KNEE with a steel chair, and since then, he hasn’t shown the LEAST bit of remorse for his actions!

DT: We’ve been told that Ivan Dalkichev is still in recovery following that attack, and it may yet be a few more months before he can walk again...

MN: If the man had just retired from the sport a year ago when it was OBVIOUS he was washed up, he could be up and walking around right now! Hell, he’d probably do one of those crazy Cossack dances!

DT: No matter how you try to rationalize it, Neely, there’s no excuse for what Erik Black did to his friend...

MN: You mean REZIN, Dave! Don’t forget what almost happened the last time you got it wrong!

DT: Oh whatever...

[Rezin arrives at the ring apron and takes a seat before putting the bong on his lap and taking out a hand-held blowtorch. In his regular pre-match ritual, he sets fire to the enormous lump of black resin and takes a noxious bong hit. As he coughs and madly chuckles in the haze of smoke left behind, he crawls under the bottom rope like a cockroach wriggling under the fridge, and staggers carelessly as he makes it to his feet.]

[CUE UP: “I Am a Viking” by Yngwie Malmsteen’s Rising Force. The fans POP WILDLY as OLVIR ARSVINNAR emerges from the entry-way. Galvanized by the crowd, the Viking Violator marches down the ramp in total Hogan-mode, pointing to the man in the ring with a determined purpose.]

TF: And his opponent... hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada... tipping the scales at a MIGHTY three hundred and seventeen pounds... THE BUTT-DOMINATOR... OOOOLLLVVIIIIIIRRR AAAARRRSSVIIINNNNAAARRRRR!!!

DT: Here comes the Viking Violator, and boy, does he EVER look ready for action! Clearly, he’s had nothing but revenge on the mind for weeks ever since the attack on his Colossal Connection tag partner!

DM: This is the most fierce and determined we’ve seen Olvir in a LONG time! Could we be seeing a return of the old-school “Butt Dominator” that won our hearts years ago when he hit the scene?

MN: And to think, if Rezin HADN’T destroyed Ivan’s knee, he’d STILL be trapped in that travesty of a tag team!

DT: I’m sure if Olvir had the choice, he’d rather see Ivan out of that wheelchair and in his corner... regardless of how successful their partnership may have been! Some things in that ring transcend mere win-loss records...

DM: I’ve long lived by the motto that there are no “what ifs” in professional wrestling. All that matters now is that SOMEBODY out of that locker room had the courage and the audacity to lay this challenge down in light of Rezin’s recent blasphemies against this federation, and many are hoping to see that drug-addled slob get his face pounded in tonight!

[Olvir strides into the ring and immediately goes after Rezin, who hops the ropes in a desperate and daring escape. Ringside fans taunt Rezin on the floor as the Norseman beckons him back into the ring and flashes a few heroic poses. Rezin’s behavior has gone from snarky to bamboozled as he makes a few unsuccessful attempts to tell the fans to shut their pie holes.]

[The music cuts and referee Bryan Weatherby orders Rezin into the ring, but the Goat Bastard refuses, pointing to energized and furious Olvir. When Weatherby gets tired of arguing, he relents and orders Olvir into his corner. The Viking complies, backing up into the turnbuckle but not taking his eyes off his opponent as the referee checks his hide leggings and furry boots for foreign devices. Rezin climbs to the apron, but stalls before entering the ring, exchanging unfriendly words with the official and his ability to control the match.]

DM: Well hopefully this match will get STARTED soon, but it looks like the big talking Rezin is suddenly getting a case of cold feet...

MN: Hey, get off the man’s back! He’s looking out for his best interests, considering that freakin’ roided-out BRUTE looks like he could legitimately hurt somebody right now!

DT: Oh yes, of course... as if Rezin never legitimately hurt anybody himself! What a crock, Neely...

MN: Actually, these boots are GATOR skin, but thanks for noticing the new kicks!

DM: Shut up, Neels... and those boots look tacky.

[Rezin finally enters the ring and only allows Weatherby to pat down his pants after much protest. With everything squared away, the ref gives the signal to the timekeeper.]


DT: And this match is under way! Right out of the gate, Olvir comes CHARGING across the ring, and Rezin IMMEDIATELY hops through the ropes back to the outside!

DM: Come on, you coward!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!”

DT: Bryan Weatherby tells him to get his butt back in the ring, but Rezin is in no hurry to follow his orders! Olvir looks FURIOUS as he tells the revolting Goat Bastard to come back and fight him like a man!

MN: REAL MEN don’t fight like BARBARIANS, Thomas...

DM: Clearly, he’s just stalling to aggravate his raging opponent... and while Olvir may be more DANGEROUS when he’s angry, he’s certainly proven many times in the past that he can also be a bit foolhardy and narrow-sighted when he’s seeing red.


DT: Bryan Weatherby beginning to give Rezin the ten count, and these fans are letting him hear it! He clearly has no friends in this arena tonight...

MN: Friends are unreliable distractions, Dave.

DT: Which explains why you HAVE NONE... Weatherby getting to the count of seven, and now Rezin realizes he’s running out of time! Finally, he slips back in under the bottom rope -- but slips RIGHT BACK OUT as soon as the Viking Violator rushes over to stomp his head like a melon!

Crowd: “BOOOOOO!!”

DM: I’m about to throw this headset down and throw that chickensh*t into the ring MYSELF!

MN: Go on, Dean, I DARE you! I’d just LOVE to see you get kicked in the face!

DT: Rezin is seriously testing the referee’s patience right now. Bryan Weatherby once again begins the ten count while the repugnant one stalls on the outside. Arsvinnar is STEAMING right now!

DM: The official is at the count of five now... and Rezin reluctantly makes his way up the steps to the apron. Well, at least he’s HALFWAY THERE, but he refuses to step through the ropes until the ref assures him Olvir won’t try to make a quick move!

DT: Weatherby looking to the Viking Violator... Olvir’s standing right in the center of the ring! He locks eyes with Rezin on the apron and pounds the mat with his knuckles, telling him to bring it!

MN: Right... NOW he wants a fair fight, when earlier he was being all wild and out of control...

DT: Rezin puts a leg through the ropes... considers it for another moment... and YES, he’s FINALLY back in the ring to start this match!

DM: Took him long enough...

DT: Rezin approaches the center where the berzerking barbarian waits ready to grapple... and now both competitors are circling each other. Rezin looks to be assuming a martial arts stance...

MN: Watch those LEGS!

DT: Arsvinnar stepping in -- NO!! Rezin caught the Viking with a lightning fast spinning sidekick to the abs!

DM: It was a fast and stunning strike, but Olvir merely flinched... and now he snarls as Rezin chuckles and skips back out of reach!

DT: Olvir provoked into coming after him again... OOH, OUCH!! Inside LEG KICK right to the inner CALF nearly throws him off balance, but he recovers, and Rezin continues to taunt him! He’s toying with danger in there...

MN: Looks to me like he’s just using his advantage in speed and ninja skills to keep the overgrown Neanderthal at a safe distance!

DM: Probably because he knows when that Viking gets his hands on him, he’s going to rip him in HALF! Olvir fuming, but an angry Norseman is a BRUTAL Norseman... Arsvinnar cups his hands and SWOOPS IN with a BIG RUNNING MJOLNIR-BLOW --

DT: OH NO!! Rezin NARROWLY somersaulted out of the way! He’s just too fast for the big, lumbering Viking!

MN: Too SMART, more like it!

DT: Rezin in position to attack, and... what the hell is he doing?!

MN: Gathering his CHI, obviously!

DM: Bah, what nonsense... Rezin with some arm motions, and he LASHES OUT with DOUBLE BACK-HANDED CHOPS to Olvir’s CHEST -- NO!! The Viking’s ROCK-HARD PECTORALS just SOAKED IT UP!!


DT: Rezin’s bouncing around, clutching his arm in PAIN!! That must have felt like slapping hands with a BRICK WALL!!

DM: Talk about hamming it up... Rezin turning to face Olvir, and -- OLVIR’S GOT HIM BY THE BEARD!!


Crowd: *POP!!*


DM: He shoulda ripped that raggedy carpet off his FACE!!

MN: Don’t be dissin’ the BEARD now, Dean-O!

DT: Rezin staggering to his feet, looking completely LOST... he whirls around -- AND WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU MA’AM, OLVIR ARSVINNAR POPS HIM RIGHT IN THE KISSER WITH A MONSTEROUS MJOLNIR-BLOW!!

Crowd: “OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!!”

DM: WHOA NELLY, that woulda knocked Rezin right out of his BOOTS, if he WORE any! Rezin is FLAT ON HIS BACK, seeing STARS...

MN: That’s right... STARS imploding into BLACK HOLES, cause EVERYTHING DIES!!

DT: Pipe down, Neely... Olvir quickly going for the lateral cover! Could it be over this easy?!



Rezin kicks out!

MN: Of COURSE it’s not going to be over THAT easy, Thomas, you idiot...

DM: Arsvinnar’s back on his feet, and watches as Rezin feebly tries to crawl away! Rezin’s slipping under the ropes now, trying to escape... but Olvir’s got him by the HEEL before he can get all the way out!

DT: No escape for the Escape Artist THIS TIME!! Rezin PANICKING now as he tries to squirm away, but Olvir drags him back into the ring! Rezin clinging to the BOTTOM ROPE now as the Viking keeps yanking at his leg!

MN: Come on, ref! ROPE BREAK!!

DM: TOO LATE!! A single hard TUG is all Olvir Arsvinnar needs to pry Rezin right off the rope and drop him unceremoniously to the mat! The Norseman’s got him right where he wants him now!

DT: Rezin’s trying to beg him off, but that’s not help him now! He didn’t listen to his own friend Ivan when he begged him not to drop that chair on his leg, but he did it anyway! Olvir has Rezin by the neck... OH WOW, LIFTS HIM RIGHT OFF THE MAT AND LEAVES HIM HANGING THERE!!

MN: Now he’s blatantly CHOKING HIM!! This is some serious horsesh*t!!

DM: Rezin’s eyes are POPPING OUT OF HIS SKULL right now... and Olvir finally shows him mercy by dropping him HARD back to the mat! The Goat Bastard is winded and in obvious pain, and these fans seem pleased to see it!

DT: The punishment’s only just begun for Rezin now! Olvir peels him off the mat once again... and there’s a whip right into the ropes! Rezin in motion... and he JUST DUCKS a BIG BOOT from the Viking Violator!


MN: You can’t underestimate the spontaneous high-flying assault of the Escape Artist!

DT: Olvir on his back, and Rezin’s on top, hooking the leg! He’s got the PIN!




Crowd: *POP!!*

DM: Spontaneous high-flying assault, my ass! You aren’t going to put down the BUTT-DOMINATOR with a simple flashy moonsault!

DT: Rezin rolls to a safe distance as the Viking storms back to his feet! Olvir charges in, looking for the LARIAT -- NOBODY THERE!! The little rascal slips behind him and JUMPS ON HIS BACK for the sleeper!

DM: Looks like a lamprey clinging to the back of a whale! Olvir’s trying to shake him loose, but Rezin’s got a deathgrip on that sleeper!

MN: Hang on, Rezin! There can’t be THAT much blood flowing to the pea-sized brain in that brute’s thick head!

DT: This doesn’t look good for the Escape Artist! Olvir reaching back... YES, HE’S GOT A HANDFUL OF THAT VILE GOAT BASTARD’S MANGY HAIR!!


DM: Rezin’s grip is SLIPPING... and Olvir DUMPS HIM over his head and flat onto his back! Arsvinnar with a BIG JUMPING STOMP -- NO! Rezin BARELY rolled out of the way!

DT: Look at him CRAWL across that mat... just like VERMIN! Is he going for the outside...? No, he’s going for the TURNBUCKLE! Olvir coming after him -- but REZIN BOUNDS TO THE TOP ROPE WITH EASE --


MN: That stupid Viking just doesn’t know when to go DOWN!

DT: Rezin already in motion to the other turnbuckle... no more playing it sneaky; he’s running on ALL cylinders! Rezin to the top again... Olvir turns around... AND REZIN COMES OFF THE TOP WITH A DRAGONRANA --


Crowd: *POP!!*

DT: Rezin is STUCK on Olvir’s shoulders, and he knows there’s only ONE PLACE TO GO from HERE!!


DM: And Olvir brings Rezin RIGHT DOWN HARD INTO THE MAT with a SIT-OUT POWERBOMB!! That nearly DESTROYED the ring!

DT: Olvir Arsvinnar GOES FOR THE COVER!!



NO!! Rezin somehow managed to kick out of that!

DM: Olvir’s in complete control now! Not even Rezin’s high-flying “amazingness” can save him at this point! Arsvinnar has him off the mat again... takes him by the back of the HEAD... and he THROWS HIM OVER THE TOP ROPE!!

DT: NO, WAIT!! Rezin CLINGS TO THE TOP ROPE before gravity carries him to the ringside floor! Rezin SKINNING THE CAT -- OH, BUT HE GETS HIS HEAD CAUGHT IN THE ROPES!!

MN: D’OH!!


DM: Talk about FAIL! Olvir with a BOOT right into Rezin’s rump, flipping the Goat Bastard over and dumping him to the floor!

DT: At least he’s not STUCK anymore! Rezin looking DAZED as he gets to his feet, but he nevertheless shows his aggravation in full display before these jeering fans!

MN: Disrespectful white trash! That man is an EPW LEGEND, and THIS is how they treat him?!

DM: He deserves a lot worse, if you ask me!

DT: Rezin is once again back on the outside, but Olvir doesn’t intend to leave him out there for long as he steps through the ropes to go after him! Rezin trying to GET AWAY now... but Olvir’s got the JUMP on him this time!

DM: Rezin trying to KICK him off... but Olvir CATCHES HIM by the leg! Olvir’s got him right where he -- NO!! REZIN COUNTERS WITH AN ENZIGURI!!

Crowd: “OOOoooohhh...”

MN: Oh man, that never gets old!!

DT: Can’t believe Olvir’s still STANDING after that one! You could hear Rezin’s foot smack against the Viking’s skull up in the NOSEBLEED SECTION!! Still, Olvir’s staggering... and Rezin boosts himself up to the apron!


MN: He’s not standing ANYMORE, Thomas!

DT: Rezin’s managed to turn the tables on the Viking Violator, but there’s no telling what he’s got planned next! Now he’s pulling Olvir off the floor, and he sets him across the bottom rope! Why’s he just leaving him there?

DM: Well, considering the Norseman’s got a good hundred pounds over him, I figure he’d rather not waste the strength trying to push him back into the ring... or maybe he’s got something ELSE planned! Rezin up the steel steps... now up the near TURNBUCKLE!!

DT: Olvir doesn’t even SEE HIM!! He’s trying to crawl back into the ring, but that’s just what Rezin WANTS HIM TO DO!!


Crowd: *GASP~!*


MN: Stupid Viking crawled right into THAT!

DT: Rezin has a cocky and confident smirk across his nasty face as he drags a near lifeless Olvir back into the ring! Sure doesn’t look easy, dragging three hundred pounds of dead weight... but nevertheless, he gets Olvir free from the ropes, and he goes for the cover!




Crowd: *POP!!*

MN: Damn that thick skull of his...

DM: Olvir is still in this match, but he’s looking in bad shape, and now Rezin is stalking him from behind! Olvir back up to his hands and knees now... but Rezin PUNTS HIM BACK TO THE MAT with a RUNNING SOCCER KICK right to the TEMPLE!

DT: The Viking didn’t even see it coming! Look at Rezin SMILE at his handiwork... it’s like he’s ENJOYING doing this!

MN: Well, I’m enjoying watching it!

DT: Rezin’s biding his time once again as he watches Olvir try to get to his feet... Olvir almost up again, but here goes Rezin into the ropes... OH MAN!! Rezin took him by the HAIR and FLIPPED TO THE MAT to drive the Viking’s face into the canvas!

DM: Weatherby warning Rezin about the hair-pulling, but I doubt he gives a damn... instead, the Goat Bastard KICKS the Viking Violator while he’s down! Now OLVIR’S the one getting punished... where’s the justice here?!

MN: He wanted this fight, and now he’s GOT IT!! That moron was warned of the risks, and naturally, he just ignored them...

DT: Olvir needs an opportunity to turn things around, or Rezin’s going to pick him apart piece by piece! Arsvinnar is struggling to get to his feet again... the fans are cheering on his valiant efforts!

Crowd: “OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!! OL-VIR!!”

DM: Come on, Olvir! You can’t let this bum win!

DT: Rezin with a smug and dastardly grin on his face... here he goes into the ropes -- LOW DROPKICK blasts Olvir in the face! Could that be it?! Here’s Rezin with the PIN!



NO!! Olvir KICKS OUT once more! Rezin argues with the official about the count, but it was fair, no matter how you slice it!

MN: Oh whatever... that referee is practically ASLEEP in that ring! Must be on DRUGS or something...


DT: These fans are letting the Goat Bastard HEAR IT as his once smug demeanor is again beginning to melt away! I wonder if he really believes if he can stop Olvir!

DM: Not unless he goes all out... and I think he’s got that on the mind now! Olvir struggling to his feet, as Rezin moves to the corner... Rezin up to the TOP ROPE now, and drawing the thumb across his THROAT!!

MN: That’s it! It’s OVER for Olvir Arsvinnar!


Crowd: *MEGA-POP!!*

DT: -- NOOOOO, OLVIR BIG BOOTS HIM RIGHT OUT OF THE AIR!! An AMAZING high-flying maneuver gets turned around into an AMAZING COUNTER!!

DM: That was JUST the opportunity Olvir Arsvinnar was LOOKING FOR!! Rezin took that foot RIGHT TO THE FACE, and it knocked the nasty slobber right out of his mouth!


DT: Olvir pointing to Rezin and looking to the crowd! They want him to FINISH THIS!! GO ON, Olvir! Give the BASTARD what he’s been asking for!

MN: Hey now, what happened to being UNBIASED here!

DM: Geez, Neels... talk about the pot calling the kettle black! Arsvinnar bringing Rezin to his feet... putting him into the PUMPHANDLE hold! He’s GOING FOR THE BERZERKER BOMB --

DT: NO!! Rezin SLIPPED DOWN HIS BACK!! Olvir spins around --


Crowd: “OOOOOOoooohhh...”



DM: That was nothing but pure desperation on the part of Rezin, but it nevertheless got him out of a dire situation that would have like resulted in his defeat! Rezin still on the mat... but he KIPS UP TO HIS FEET -- no, wait, he FACEPLANTS!! FAIL, once again!


DT: Olvir is completely open for the pin! Is Rezin going for it? Wait... after a moment’s consideration, he... he goes through the ropes and drops to the outside?!

DM: What’s THIS?!

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!”

DT: Rezin is catching his breath on the outside, and Bryan Weatherby is beginning the ten count! Rezin just looks at the prone body of Olvir in the ring and SCOFFS! What, is he just walking away from this match?!

MN: Clearly, Dave! Olvir’s not WORTH pinning! He clearly proved he was the better man!

DM: That punk goat bastard!! GET BACK IN THE RING!!


DT: The crowd is giving him all the hate in the world, but Rezin doesn’t care! Weatherby at the count of five... SIX... and Rezin’s going back up the RAMP!! He IS walking away from this match!

DM: What a coward!

MN: Watch your mouth, Dean! A man of his experience can choose to walk out of ANY match if its below him!

DT: Olvir coming to in the ring as Weatherby gets to SEVEN...

EIGHT... Rezin still going up the ramp...

NINE... is THIS how it ends?!

DM: What an anti-climax...

DT: TEN!! That’s it, IT’S OVER!!



[CUE UP: “I Am a Viking” by Yngwie Malmsteen. As Olvir struggles to his feet in the ring, Bryan Weatherby raises his arm. Rezin dismisses the announcement with a disapproving wave of his arm and limps his way up the ramp.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, by count-out... OOOOOOLLLLVVIIIIIRRRRR AAAAARRRRSSSSSVIIINNNNAARRRR!!!!

DT: It’s a bittersweet victory for Olvir Arsvinnar! He may get the technical win tonight, but Rezin has denied him of his vengeance! What reason does he have to just walk away from this match?

MN: He didn’t need a reason, Dave! He just does what he wants, and leaves the world to deal with the effects!

DM: Maybe he’d just rather give Olvir the satisfaction of victory rather than put forward the EFFORT to win the match on his own! Reckless piece of trash! Let him walk! Our ring is TOO GOOD for him!

DT: Olvir doesn’t seem very happy with this outcome... not happy at ALL... in fact, I don’t think he’s DONE!!

MN: UH OH...

DM: Here’s Olvir, leaving the ring... AND HE’S GOING AFTER THE REZIN!! Rezin SEES HIM and goes WHITE!!

Crowd: *POP!!*



DM: This is NOT OVER for the Viking Violator!! He’s not letting Rezin get off the hook that easy!

DT: Olvir scoops Rezin off the mat and puts him onto his shoulder! Now he’s carrying him back to the ring like he’s carried so many young women back to his dressing room! He’s not leaving this arena tonight until he has his REVENGE!!

Crowd: “F*CK-HIM-UP!! F*CK-HIM-UP!! F*CK-HIM-UP!!”

DT: The crowd is behind Olvir one-hundred percent! He’s back at the ring, and... OH MY, he just GORILLA PRESSES REZIN THROUGH THE ROPES and INTO THE RING!!

DM: Rezin is WRITHING ON THE MAT in serious pain... and coughing uncontrollably! Looks like all the tar and black crap he’s been smoking is finally catching up to him, eh?

MN: Why isn’t the ref DOING anything about this?! Where’s SECURITY?!

DT: No sign of them yet, and that’s a GOOD thing, if you ask me! Rezin trying to get to his feet, still hacking up a lung, but now Olvir’s back in the ring and LOOMING over him! Olvir grabs him by the HAIR and lifts him up -- OH WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT?!

DM: REZIN JUST SPAT IN OLVIR’S FACE!! I don’t know what that was, but it was BLACK and NASTY!!

DT: RESINOUS MIST!! He just spat a BIG BLACK LUMP OF RESIN into the Viking’s face, and Olvir Arsvinnar’s been BLINDED!!

MN: HAHA!! Serves you RIGHT, you stupid Viking! You should have just let him walk away, but now you’re going to GET IT!!

DT: Olvir stumbles around the mat in disorientation, but Rezin’s NOT DONE!! Rezin going to the corner... UP TO THE TOP ROPE...


MN: That was AMAZING!! Say what you will about him, but Rezin is STILL the most mind-blowing aerial MASTER this federation has ever seen!

DT: Olvir Arsvinnar is now a stumbling, dazed mess... and what is Rezin doing?! He’s got his back to the Viking, and a curiously evil smile spreads across his face!! What black thoughts are crossing his diabolical mind NOW?!

DM: Not sure, but it can’t be good for Olvir! Arsvinnar trying to grapple Rezin from behind -- wait, Rezin SLAPS ON a three-quarter facelock -- GOES UP -- OH MY GOD, AND HE DRILLS HIM TO THE MAT WITH A PICTURE PERFECT ASAI DDT!!

Crowd: *GASP~!*

DT: That’s the REZIN HIT!! Olvir Arsvinnar walked right into it, and now he’s OUT COLD!! We need to get some control in that ring NOW!!

MN: OH NO!! The dumb Viking wanted to keep pushing, and now he’s getting just what he asked for!

DM: Here’s Bryan Weatherby, telling Rezin to get back to the locker room -- GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY, HE JUST ROUNDHOUSE KICKED THE REFEREE IN THE FACE!! THAT BASTARD!!


MN: He had it coming...

DT: Rezin is OUT OF CONTROL now! There’s a crazed look in his eyes as he now looms over the fallen body of Olvir Arsvinnar! Come on, Erik, you’ve proven your point...

MN: Erik’s not listening anymore, Dave!

DM: Rezin’s rolling Olvir over! What’s he doing now?! He’s pulling Olvir’s head up off the mat... OH GOD, HE JAMS THOSE NASTY FINGERS INTO THE VIKING’S MOUTH!!


MN: Give it to him, Rezin! Rip his head off if you have to! DECAPITATE the DECAPITATOR!!

DM: Does this look like NEW YORK to you, Neels?! Where the HELL is security!?!

DT: HERE THEY COME!! Our security team is charging down the rampway, but the damage has already been DONE!! Olvir Arsvinnar has GONE UNCONSCIOUS again, and he looks practically DEAD!!

DM: This is a complete travesty! It shouldn’t have gotten this bad!

MN: You morons... things are only going to get WORSE from here on out!

DT: Security hits the ring, but Rezin’s still clinging to the fallen Viking’s back and isn’t letting go! Now there’s FOUR MEN trying to pry him off... and FINALLY, under their combined strength, Rezin is PULLED OFF and isolated into the corner!

DM: Olvir does NOT look good! Ring officials are trying to wake him up now, but he’s out cold! Are they calling for the EMTs...? Yes, here they come down the ramp now!

DT: LOOK at that sick bastard...

[CLOSE UP: A maddened smile is spread across Rezin’s face as he gazes into the booing audience. He looks proud in his ability to piss off the capacity crowd.]

DT: NO REMORSE whatsoever! That was his FRIEND there in the ring!

DM: Looks like the EMTs are working together to drag Olvir from the ring and get him secured to that stretcher. Hopefully he’s not in TOO bad of shape, but that Cottonmouth REALLY did a number on him! Wait a second... what’s Rezin doing now?

[Rezin drops under the ropes and approaches the timekeeper, who clears the area without hesitation. The Escape Artist plucks up a mic...]

DT: Oh jeez... first we have to watch, now we have to LISTEN?!

MN: YES!! And if you listen close, Dave, you just might LEARN something!

[Rezin rolls back into the ring and lazily sits with his back against the bottom two ropes.]

Rezin: Well, THAT was fun...


Rezin: Oh, save it. You people might as well finish off your morsels of cheap beer and overpriced popcorn and just go home... and you people watching at home, you might as well grab the remote and turn off your TV... because after what you just witnessed, I’m certain that NOTHING on the remainder of this show will be worth your time.


Rezin: Wait a second...

[Rezin notices the EMTs bringing Olvir on the stretcher up the ramp. They reach the stage when the Goat Bastard suddenly springs to his feet, hops the ropes, and hurries over to them.]


DT: Oh no, what NOW?!

[As Rezin reaches the stretcher, he waves off the EMTS, who scatter like birds.]

Rezin: What do you think you’re DOIN’?! Taking him to the HOSPITAL!? To get BETTER?!

[Rezin gazes down on Olvir unconscious face. In a damning sign of affection, he places his blackened hand across the Viking’s forehead.]

Rezin: This man lived his life by the Viking Way... and he wanted to DIE the Viking Way. He wanted to die in BATTLE... with horns on his head and an axe on his head! You can’t take him to some damn HOSPITAL where he’ll just RECOVER!!

[Rezin comes to the other end of the stretcher and pulls out a white sheet tucked under Olvir’s body and draws it over the fallen Viking, covering his entire muscled form.]

Rezin: This man needs to be sent to VALHALLA, where greater things await him! This man needs to check out of this doomed Empire before he watches it FALL!

[He goes back to Olvir’s head and pulls something from his pocket. It’s the hand-held blowtorch used to smoke his resin bong before the match.]

DM: What the hell is doing with THAT?!

[Rezin holds up the device as he flares up the torch...]

Rezin: I’m not going to let you watch that happen, Olvir... I’m going to give you what you want! So here you go...

[He lowers the torch to the sheet, and it catches fire.]



[Rezin runs the torch down the length of the sheet, setting it ablaze.]

Rezin: Here’s your VIKING FUNERAL, Olvir!

[Cackling like a madman, Rezin gives the flaming stretcher a kick, sending it rolling wildly back down the ramp as shocked fans look on. EMTs immediately give chase. The stretcher crashes into the apron, and the flaming sheets containing Olvir’s body lurch over the side and dump the unconscious Viking to the ringside floor. EMTs, officials, and security personnel alike quickly douse the flames with fire extinguishers and blankets. On the stage, Rezin looks on without remorse.]


DM: Can’t tell from this angle, Dave... but it looks like our crew managed to put him out before he could get seriously burned!

DT: Thank God... or ODIN, or whatever! That act was just REPREHENSIBLE! It’s one thing to choke a man out after a match, but SETTING HIM ON FIRE?!

MN: What, isn’t that how the VIKINGS did it?!

DM: Oh shut up, Neels... and if you even THINK of defending this action, I’ll choke you out MYSELF!

MN: Ulp...!

[The EMTs get the stretcher back up, and it takes seven men to get the unconscious Olvir off the floor and strapped in again. They’re escorted by security as they take him back up the ramp to the locker room. Rezin watches them pass, completely without empathy.]

Rezin: Better get that man some ice...

[The emergency crew push the stretcher through the entry-way a few “OL-VIR!” chants begin to pick up in the upper parts of the arena, but Rezin is quick to cut them off.]

Rezin: In fact, just PUT HIM on ice! Deep freeze him and bury him under another mountain for ANOTHER thousand years! His time in THIS time... is over.

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!!”

[Rezin takes a seat at the head of the ramp and looks into the camera, addressing the fans the Empire Pro universe at large.]

Rezin: What you all just witnessed is what I consider to be an act of MERCY...

Crowd: “BOOOOOOO!!!”

Rezin: Ivan is gone... and now Olvir is gone. Despite all the idle threats made by other people in that locker room about crippling this person or that person... it looks like I’M the only one who’s getting actual RESULTS!

MN: Got a point there, you know...

DM: Can it, Neels!

[He flashes a cocky smirk, soaking up the heat.]

Rezin: Anyway... Ivan and Olvir were the lucky ones. Because they got out of it early, then they won’t be around when the monumental SH*T-STORM I have in store for this rotten Empire hits! But for you people, and the other jack-offs back in that locker room? You’ve all got front row seats to the greatest tragic end in professional wrestling history!


Rezin: But now that I’m done doing favors, it’s time to get to work. Doomsday ain’t just going to come on its OWN, after all! And even though you’ve seen everything worth watching already... I get the feeling you mindless drones will keep coming back to these shows. You all still want see your favorite flavor-of-the-week wrestlers take to the ring, flashing their pointless belts around like it made a difference... am I right?

DM: Does he just think he’s the whole freaking show or something?! Of COURSE these people are going to tune in to watch their favorite athletes grace the ring!

[Rezin waves a finger around as if he just had an idea.]

Rezin: But I wonder how much longer you people will continue to tune in and watch if there were no champions... no belts... no standards of greatness whatsoever. Do you really think all the vanity whores and megalomaniacs back in that locker room are going to come out and beat themselves up when there’s absolutely no reward for their efforts? Do you think they’d stick around?

DT: How much longer are we going to have to listen to this garbage...?

[He shakes his head.]

Rezin: You people have gone too long without seeing the obvious and damning truth. These “superstars” you cheer for... they don’t give a f*ck about you. They only care about themselves. They’re only here to win belts and pad their resumes, so when the END inevitably comes, they can point to their long list of accomplishments to remind us that they once HAD something good going for them.

[He rises to his feet and defiantly holds his fist up to the camera.]

Rezin: So I’m going to be the one to TAKE AWAY those accomplishments. I’m going to show you people what all the gold in Empire Pro has hidden from you all these years: There ARE no great wrestlers in this federation... just a bunch of great egos. You people will see just how shallow and self-serving the heroes of EPW are, when they pack their bags and take their business to that three-ring circus called New Frontier in the hapless pursuit for gold and immortality.


DT: Regardless of what he says, the spirit of Empire Pro is STRONG in the crowd tonight!

MN: What a bunch of fools...

DM: At least they’re smart enough not to LISTEN to this!

[Rezin gazes into the crowd. Despite their defiance, he looks upon them like a sea of children, ignorant of the doom that awaits them.]

Rezin: One by one... I will pursue every so-called “champion” in this federation. If they dodge me, then I will hound them and provoke them to the point of madness. And then when they grow the balls to meet me in the ring, I’ll KICK THEIR F*CKING HEADS OFF...

Crowd: “BOOOOOOOO!!”

Rezin: And every time a referee hands me the belt I just “won”, I’m going to SPIT ON IT and THROW IT DOWN... because the age of “CHAMPIONS” is Empire Pro is OVER!!

[CUE UP: “Master of Alchemy” by Electric Wizard. Rezin holds a crucifix pose for a moment in a show of resistance to the jeering audience, but leaves through the entry-way a moment later. “EPW” chants are still overwhelming across the entire arena.]

DT: FINALLY, he’s done...

DM: Did I just hear him right? Did he say he was just going to win every EPW title just so he can VACATE them? What the hell is the POINT then?!

MN: Damnit, Dean, didn’t you listen to the man? Haven’t you been listening to what he’s been saying over all these MONTHS?! The EPW belts are everything that’s WRONG with this federation right now!

DT: That’s a load of tripe! Empire Pro is best professional wrestling promotion on the PLANET, and every one of those titles is a symbol of excellence and pride!

MN: Whatever, Dave... you just don’t understand because you’re not a FREE THINKER!

DT: No, I’m SANE, is what I am! Folks, we apologize for the delay... and we’d just like to give you the disclaimer now that the remarks and opinions of some of our athletes do NOT reflect those of the front office and other personnel on the Empire Pro payroll.

DM: That’s right. More matches are on the way, so despite what that bastard Rezin says, you should NOT turn off your television sets!

DT: Stay tuned and stay with the action!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX

[Kenny Lombardo and Dis standing in front of the wheel.]

LOMBARDO: Fans I’m here with Dis and normally that would mean that this masked figure standing beside me would pull this microphone away from me and make some threats to the locker room. Well tonight that’s not going to happen cause you know what? I’m sick of you Dis! I’m tired of the disrespect I get from you show in and show out and now it’s going to stop.

[Dis turns from looking at the camera and looks at Lombardo.]

KL: I’ve hired a team of private eyes. They are putting together all the pieces of the puzzle that is who you are and buddy they are closing in on you. At Aggression 63 you won’t need to wear that mask anymore because I will reveal to the world the identity of Dis. How you like that Jack?

[Lombardo shoves the microphone into Dis’ chest and walks off. Dis stands there for a moment and then turns and kicks the wheel hard and knocks it to the floor. Dis walks away.]

DT: Wow what a shocking turn of events Kenny Lombardo is claiming he will reveal who Dis is to the world at Aggression 63 and Dis seems none too happy with this turn of events. Who knows what he’ll do now that he’s on the verge of being unmasked.

MN: I bet he hurts people cause that’s what wrestlers do even more so when they are angry.

DM: Well, all I know is people do rash things when they're pushed into a corner sometimes. I just hope Dis doesn't feel like this forces his hand.

[Cut to commercials.]


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
Steven Shane vs. Jermaine Dawson

[FADEIN: The ring. Tony Fatora getting ready to introduce the next match.]

DT: And now fans we’re getting ready for the debut of Jermaine Dawson, the self-proclaimed “Warhawk” will now be fighting Steven Shane.

DM: Shane got the pin at the last Aggression’s main event and we know he’s love nothing more thn another shot at Impulse’s gold.

[The camera cuts to the entrance at the top of the ramp as Dawson and Shane spill from the curtain, Dawson on top of Shane and raining down punches!]

MN: Looks like the Warhawk isn’t waiting for this to get into the ring and he’s started this fight in the back!

DT: Well Dawson is clearly on the warpath here as he’s got Shane and THROWS HIM INTO THE RAILING! Now he scoops Shane up and SLAMS HIM ON THE FLOOR!

DM: Dawson sure making a statement here with a take no prisoners style!

MN: I’ll say, maybe it’s good he’s not in the army, they have rules of war and everything, this guy clearly doesn’t!

DT: Dawson now throws Shane into the ring, Dawson enters the ring and he’s demanding the ref ring the bell The ref telling Dawson to back off and he’s going to give Shane time to recover from this pre match assault. Shane tells the ref to start the match. [Bell rings] and we’re under way here. Dawson bull rushes Shane into the corner and hammers away with punches and kicks. Shane sent to the opposite corner and he smashes hard into the turnbuckles and falls to the mat.

DM: Steven Shane got jumped in the back by the Warhawk and he hasn’t been able to do anything to pay back Jermaine Dawson in this match.

MN: This guy is legit. Dawson is here to put people on notice and Shane’s the one paying the price.

DT: Dawson now grabs Shane and locks in an armbar. Shane trying to fight the hold and GETS PULLED INTO A SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE! DAWSON COVERS!




DM: Dawson just GRINDING that forearm into the face of Shane as he covered him, really letting know Shane he’s in for a fight tonight.

DT: Dawson pulling Shane back to his feet and sends him to the ropes…Shane ducks a clothesline…COMES BACK WITH A FLYING SHOULDER BLOCK! BOTH MEN DOWN!

DM: Shane needs to rally here, as he’s been just dominated by Dawson up to this point.

MN: Well in his defense Shane was attacked pre match by this guy, but he’s Steven Shane so he sucks and he deserved it!

DT: Both men slowly getting to their feet. Dawson with a right hand, blocked by Shane who fires back with a right, another right by Dawson AGAIN blocked by Shane who fires back with a right, and another right and now a flurry of punches send the Warhawk to the mat!

DM: Shane getting back into this fight and he’s trying to get himself on track now
DT: Dawson stumbles to his feet and he’s whipped to the ropes…SHANE WITH A DROPKICK! Dawson back up…GETS KNOCKED DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE! Dawson again gets up…AGAIN GETS KNOCKED DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE…Dawson rolls to the floor trying to get his wits about him as Shane has turned this match around! [Crowd pops as Shane pumps his arms in the air.]

MN: Come on Dawson don’t let this goober get going.

DT: Dawson getting back into the ring and Shane meets him with a kick to the gut…Shane scoops up Dawson and SLAMS him to the mat…Shane drops an elbow and another elbow…Shane off the ropes…DROPS A LEG ON DAWSON AND MAKES THE COVER!




DT: Shane back to his feet and connects with a series of rights to Dawson…Shane off the ropes and a roundhouse right is ducked by Dawson…DAWSON WITH THE RPG BACKBREAKER!

MN: Oh that’s gotta hurt!

DM: Dawson with a big counter gets himself back into the match.

DT: Dawson now grabs Shane and lifts him up…He hangs Shane upside down in the corner…Now a series of brutal knee strikes to the chest of Steven Shane while he’s hung up in the ropes.

DM: That’s the Gatling Gunfire and Shane is taking the brunt of it!
MN: What it is…Is brutal…I’m liking this kid!

DT: Dawson pulls Shane out of the corner and now makes the cover!




DT: Shane kicks out! Dawson pops back to his feet and is stalking Shane, he catches Shane…URANAGE! NO! SHANE PUSHES HIM AWAY…DAWSON CHARGES IN…RIGHT INTO A SWEET CHIN MUSIC!! SHANE KNOCKED HIM COLD WITH THE SUPERKICK!! THE COVER!!




[Bell rings, crowd pops, MUSIC UP: “Power” by Kayne West.]

TF: Here is your winner…”SENSATIONAL!” STEVEN! SHANE!!

DT: A hard fought win for Steven Shane and he keeps his momentum building as he overcomes a fierce challenge from the debuting Jermaine Dawson.

DM: Shane was attacked in the back before the match, but in spite of all Dawson’s antics, that devastating superkick by Steven Shane was the difference in this match.

MN: Or you could just tell the truth and admit he was getting crushed before hitting one fluke move and escaping with a win, that’s what happened here tonight!

DT: Well however you want to slice it, Steven Shane has picked up the win, we’ll be back after this!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
World Tag Team Titles: Animezing Dragons (cc) vs. TEAM Viagra vs. First/Burns

[FADEIN: The ramp way where High Flyer and Tony Davis are making their ways to the ring as “I Hope You Die” by The Bloodhound Gang plays over the PA.]

TF: The following contest is an elimination match for the EPW World Tag Team Titles! Introducing first weighing in at a total combined weight of 480 pounds, the team of High Flyer and Tony Davis…TEAM VIAGRA!!

[The crowd pops as Flyer and Davis hit the ring and raise their arms to the reaction.]

DT: Team VIAGRA one of the three teams in this elimination match for the EPW Tag titles.

MN: Was this supposed to be elimination? I didn’t have that on my format.

DT: Well it’s been announced as such, so I’m running with it.

[MUSIC UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre. The crowd has a mixed reaction, more cheers than boos, as The First and Eddie “The Fire” Burns make their way through the curtain with Muse following them. First’s normal frenetic antics replaced by him walking to the ring at a normal pace, he and Muse high five fans as they go by, Eddie focused on the ring.]

TF: Team number two being led to the ring by Muse, weighing in at a combined weight of 412 pounds…Eddie “The Fire” Burns…And The First!

DT: After the controversial events of last Aggression’s main event, I think the last place these two men figured they would be is in a match for the Tag Titles, but that’s what has happened and it will be interesting to see if they seize the moment here tonight.

MN: If the painted up moron sticks to the only think that’s ever worked for him in his whole career, and that is rampant brutal cheating, they got a shot, otherwise they are SOL.
DT: First and Felix Red dominated the tag division without doing anything illegal and I think that The First and Eddie Burns have a chance to do that as well.

MN: That’s cause you have a stupid brain Dave.

[MUSIC UP: “Ikari No Jyushin”. Karl Brown and Otaku appear at the top of the ramp, the EPW World Tag Team Titles around their waists, the crowd pops big as the champs head to the ring.]

TF: And the final team making their way to the ring at a total combined weight of 441 pounds…They are the EPW World Tag Team Champions, Karl “The Dragon” Brown and Otaku…ANIMEAZING DRAGONS!!

[Brown slides under the bottom rope while Oktaku leaps over the top rope doing a flip into the ring, the two men walk to opposite corners and stand on the middle ropes, holding their tag belts aloft as the crowd cheers.]

DT: Karl Brown and Otaku have been dominating as a tag team and the titles are proof of that, of course tonight’s match will be a stern test, I wonder if they were informed of the change of the stipulations before this contest.

DM: I’d hope all the teams were, one fall to a finish and elimination style rules are two totally different mindsets.

[Bell rings]

DT: And we’re underway, it’s Flyer starting for VIAGRA, The First for his team and Otaku for the champions…First throws a kick at Flyer, who responds with a punch and the two men now trading shots…Flyer staggers First with a couple of right hands and Otaku now jumps in CLOTHESLINING THE FIRST TO THE FLOOR! Otaku now with rapid fire kicks to the legs and stomach of High Flyer and DROPS HIM with a ROUNDHOUSE KICK to the side of the head! Flyer hits the mat and moves to his corner and makes the tag to Davis.

DM: The biggest man in the match now tries to make his impact on it.
DT: Davis charges Otaku and bullies him into the corner, Davis now with a BIG HIP TOSS out of the corner on one half of the tag champs…The First back into the ring and he catches Davis with a couple of right hands, First grabs Davis by the arm and gives him an arm ringer. First tags in Burns and Burns lands a series of hard rights to the gut of Davis. Otaku over now and he lays in some HARD knife edge chops to Davis.

DM: Tony Davis has been the victim of just about everyone’s attacks so far.

MN: Yeah it’s a plot against VIAGRA, I wouldn’t doubt that First instigated this himself, he most likely went to the Brown and Otaku and cut a deal with them to try to get rid of these guys, he’s a snake!

DT: You’re out of your mind Neely. Otaku and Burns whip Davis into the ropes they miss a double clothesline…DAVIS NAILS THEM WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! Davis now beating away on Otaku…Otaku now sent to the ropes…Davis misses a back elbow…OTAKU BACK WITH A ROUND HOUSE KICK!! BURNS JUST SLID IN BEHIND DAVIS AND CUT HIS LEGS OUT!! DAVIS CRASHES HEAD FIRST INTO THE MAT! BURNS AND OTAKU WITH A DOUBLE PIN!!





TF: Team VIAGRA has been ELIMINATED! [Crowd buzzing!]

DT: Karl Brown cut off High Flyer trying to make the save and just like that a stunning turn of events has left us with The First and Eddie Burns now fighting the Animezing Dragons for the tag titles.

MN: Nothing stunning at all about it, this was a set up from the jump!

DT: Otaku and Burns back away from each other, Brown tags in, and now we’re in a straight match for the tag titles. Brown and Burns lock up…Brown gets a side headlock and flips Burns to the mat…The dragon keeping Burns on his back really wrenching in that hold…Burns fighting to get back up…Burns to his feet and now he grabs Brown’s hands and he’s fighting to pry himself free…Now both men in a test of strength and Burns wins out and reverses the headlock onto Brown…The dragon with a drop toe hold takes down Burns and frees himself…The Dragon DRIVES an elbow into the back of Burns and now drops a series of knees into the challenger.

DM: I don’t think Eddie should be trying to out wrestle a guy like Karl Brown, he’s a vet who’s seen and done it all.

MN: This kid shouldn’t be doing anything but looking for a tire iron to crush into the skulls of his opponents, he’s not good enough to hang with anyone besides that, and I love mindless violence so it would entertain me!

DT: Burns rolls away from Brown and makes the tag to First. First now in the ring and Brown catches him with an arm drag and now another one! First caught in an arm bar and Brown now moves over to his corner and tags in Otaku, the two men double arm ringer First…Double back elbow to the stomach…DOUBLE BACK FIST TO THE FACE! First spilled to the mat and Otaku makes the pin!




DT: First kicks out at two, Otaku now grabs him and lifts The First up…BIG SUPLEX! A COVER!!




DT: Burns makes the save! The ref ushering Eddie out of the ring and Otaku now keeps a chinlock on First, now he pulls him to his feet…GERMAN SUPLEX!

DM: First not able to get on track at all in this match, the champions have been dominating since the elimination of Team VIAGRA.

MN: He’s not any good! His only success was by piggy-backing Stalker and Felix Red, you ask him to be the talent and he falls apart!





DT: Burns freaking out at the ref over that count, he wanted the three count so badly…Burns now stomping away on Otaku…Now he’s choking him…[Crowd booing!] Eddie Burns is losing his mind!

MN: No he’s doing the right thing! Let’s go Eddie!

DT: Eddie now grabs Otaku and sends him to the ropes…BIG BACK DROP by Burns! Burns makes the tag to The First…First now in the ring kicking away at Otaku, backs him into the corner…First now sets in the opposite corner, gives a yell to the fans…HAND SPRING ELBOW! Otaku staggers out of the corner…First to the second rope…SHOULDER BLOCK! FIRST WITH A COVER!




DM: First didn’t hook the leg there and that might have cost them.

MN: Really Dean?! Has anyone ever been pinned because their leg got hooked? Are you kidding me?

DT: First now back to his feet. He tags in Burns…Otaku is free and he crawls towards his corner, but Eddie pulls him back into the center of the ring. Eddie driving knees into the back of Otaku and now hooks him…CAMEL CLUTCH! Eddie stretching the back of Otaku and the titles might change hands right here!

DM: Can the Animezing Dragons hang on here?! Otaku caught in a tough spot in the middle of the ring…

DT: Karl Brown takes care of things charging in and DROPKICKING EDDIE IN THE FACE!! Both men down…Eddie rolls over and quickly makes the tag…First into the ring, Otaku not even close to making it to his corner and First drops a series of knees into Otaku and backs him into the corner…Otaku sent to the other side…FIRST CHARGES WITH A SPLASH! NOBODY HOME!!

DM: I think First hit the ring post with his head, he might be out!

DT: Otaku needs to make the tag…But now he gets to his feet and he’s going after First, He grabs First…SIT OUT POWERBOMB!!! THE COVER!!




DT: Burns made the save! That would have been it! First hasn’t moved since hitting that ring post! Otaku now gets him up…LIGER SWORD DELAYED BRAINBUSTER!! NO FIRST LANDS BEHIND HIM!! SOULBREAKER! BOTH MEN DOWN!!

DM: This is going to come down to who can make the tag.

MN: I hope it does, if First gets a pin here, his team would win all fair and square and I’d puke my guts out!

DT: First rolls over, crawling towards a pin…Now he changes his mind and rolls towards his corner…Otaku starting to stir…

DM: That indecision might cost First, Otaku now ever so close to the tag and First is a ways away from his corner.

DT: Otaku now crawling…MAKES THE TAG…Brown charging across the ring…BUJRNS LUNGES OUT AND TAGS FIRST! Brown all over Burns! Brown has Burns hooked…T-BONE SUPLEX! Burns pops to his feet…KNOCKED DOWN WITH A CLOTHESLINE! BURNS UP AGAIN AND GETS DROPPED BY A SWINGING NECKBREAKER!! BROWN COVERS!




DT: Oh that was close! Otaku now back and knocks First off the apron…OTAKU SLINGSHOT SPLASH ONTO FIRST ON THE FLOOR!! Brown pulls Burns to his feet…BURNS JUST SHOVED BROWN INTO THE REF! That was a cheap stunt of the highest order!

DM: The ref was looking at Otaku and First on the outside and then just got run over by Karl Brown who got thrown into him by a desperate Eddie Burns!

MN: I call it smart! He’s a smart man!

DT: Brown stumbles back towards Burns…Burns goes for a kick…Brown catches it! BROWN SPINS BURNS AROUND AND CATCHES HIM IN A DRAGON SLEEPER!! BURNS IS TAPPING!!

MN: No ref! It doesn’t count!

DT: Otaku and First still down, the ref is down…Brown drops Burns and goes to check on the ref…He’s shaking the ref and getting him to stir…Brown goes back to Burns…EDDIE THREW FIRE IN KARL BROWN’S FACE!!!

MN: Now we know why he’s The Fire!





[Bell rings, crowd booing LOUD! MUSIC UP: “Happy Birthday” by The Birthday Massacre]


[Burns flipping out in the ring, pounding on the mat, screaming, The First gets to his feet and looks into the ring in horror. “What did you do Eddie?” he can be seen saying as Eddie continues celebrating before diving out of the ring and grabbing the tag belts, Eddie holds them aloft as the crowd continues to jeer him.]

DT: This is a farce! Eddie Burns has just stolen the tag titles!

MN: He won them! That’s what he did, now I don’t know if his snake of a partner is honestly upset about it or just doing the fake goodie two-shoes act he did when he was palling with Stalker, but either way, to hell with him and good on Eddie! We need more people throwing fire in this business!

DT: Eddie hands First a tag belt and First takes it with a disgusted look on his face. This controversy, both over how this team won the match and how they are going to go forward as a team is a story in progress that much is for sure. We’ll be back after this!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
EPW Television Title: Cameron Cruise (c) vs. Adrian Willard

[FADEIN: Tony Fatora adjusts his tie in the center of the ring. The opening chords of “Genesis” by Justice rumble over the pa system as the lights flash white and blue.]

TF: The following contest… is scheduled for a fifteen minute time limit and is for the EPW Television Championship!

[A light phosphorous fog shrouds the entranceway as the song builds. At its apex, Adrian Willard emerges from the fog and storms down to ringside. The cheers are loud and a few of the closest fans have an “Adrian Willard won my heart” sign.]

DT: Adrian looks focused tonight. Willard has been nothing but impressive since his debut at Aggression 60. He’s defeated Cruise once.

MN: Yeah but that was non title. Last Aggression, he couldn’t do the job.

[Willard reaches ringside and pauses. He looks to the lights and closes his eyes, taking a deep inhale.]

DM: We’ll see if he’s adjusted his strategy. He’s going to have to be very selective in unleashing his raw aggression. Willard made a few too many mistakes last week. To beat a champion, a legend like Cameron Cruise in under 15 minutes? You can’t afford a single mistake.

[Willard slides in and is checked by the official.]

DT: Cameron used Willard’s tactics against him to retain against the time limit. That was his strategy last week and it works. Think Cruise’ll use it again?

DM: It depends. If Cruise can put Willard down here tonight, he may not have to face him at the pay per view. If he swats Willard off to another draw, the board and the fans may want to see a fourth contest, without the time limit. And that would benefit Adrian.

[“Killing in the Name of” by Rage of the Against the Machine.]

MN: The champ of champs, Cameron Cruise!

[Instant boos, as Cameron Cruise steps out of the curtain. He takes a moment to soak it all in, and smiles.]

DT: Cruise, taking his leisurely stroll to the ring.

MN: Why waste your energy before the match? Willard’s gonna blow up just breathing over there.

[Two Shot, over the shoulder of a slowly walking Cruise as we see Willard pacing in the ring.]

DM: Maybe it’s the last time Cruise walks to the ring with that belt.

[Cruise slowly steps onto the apron and into the ring. Tony Fatora continues with his introductions.]

TF: Introducing first, the challenger! Hailing from Chicago Illinois, weighing in at two hundred and eight five pounds, he is the Prophecy, ADRIAAAAN! WIIIILLLAAAAAARD!

[Adrian climbs to the second rope and stares over the sea of cheering fans. He slaps his tribal design on his tights and feels uncomfortable at the roaring approval.]

TF: And his opponent…

[Cameron Cruise hands the belt over to the referee, but hestitates for a second. He looks at his reflection one last time.]

TF: … hailing from Jacksonville, North—

DT: CAMERON CRUISE CHARGES THE CORNER! Two quick elbow shots to the kidney’s as Cruise pulls him off the turnbuckle. Quick knife edge chop. And another.


MN: Smart! Here we go!

DM: Willard having none of it! He’s powering out of the corner with repeated rights and lefts. Cruise is backing away and avoiding each strike but this takes him clear across the ring until Willard SQUASHES Cruise in the corner.

MN: C’mon ref! Closed fist! Fist! FISTS!

DT: Willard laying in with stiff rights and lefts.

[As Willard lays into Cruise in the corner, the referee begins his count.]

DT: He’s seeing red Dean.

DM: I think you’re right.

DT: Willard better be careful not to get disqualified!

[Willard snarls and backs off at four, pacing around the ring. Cruise checks his ribs before using the ring ropes to pull himself to his feet. He just smiles at Adrian.]

DT: And Willard charges! But Cruise bails as Willard swipes wildly for a Cameron’s hair.

DM: Cruise trying to regroup on the outside. Is… he talking to a fan?

[Cruise is jaw jacking with the fan in the front row that has the “Adrian Willard won my heart” sign. Cameron reaches out and rips the sign up.]

MN: Look at that. Cruise is such a nice guy, reaching out to our fans.

[Cameron slides back in the ring quickly as Willard pounces, stomping on the back of his neck as Cruise fights to his feet.]

DT: Irish whip by Willard, no, reversed! Willard back off, shoulder block takes down Cruise. Willard back off the ropes, Cruise ducks down, and Cameron dropkicks Willard in the jaw!

DM: And quickly rushes over and locks in a front face headlock. He’s wrenching that hold in.

[Willard struggles for some time to fight to his feet. Once he does, Cruise lets loose with a knee to the face.]

DT: The Prophecy rocked, but he charges shoulder first and lifts Cruise off his feet!

DM: No! Cruise wisely escapes down the back and locks in a rear waist lock. I think Willard was going for the Higher Vision right there, try to stop Cruise’s chicanery.

[Willard reaches down and tries to unclasp Cruise’s locked hands from around his waist. Cruise counters and lifts Willard, planting him face first on the mat before floating over back into the front face lock. Willard slams his foot against the mat in a slow rhythm.]

DM: Cruise wasting another portion of our time limit with a hold that wears down the opponent for his patented Cruise Control. Cruise is trying to keep the powerhouse grounded, focusing on his neck.

[Willard struggles and is able to get to his knees, hands free. He begins to swing both hands out and strike Cruise in the gut with his forearms.]

DT: Willard with a couple of stiff strikes to Cruise’s mid section. And another dual hand slapped shot to Cruise’s gut. A third breaks the hold, and Willard charges! He shoves Cruise to the mat back first and dives on top. Willard begins to lift and slam him into the mat in quick successions! He ends this with a STIFF right hand to the face.

[Pat Jones pulls Willard to face him and yells at him about closed fists.]

MN: Ha! Ref in his face. SERVES HIM RIGHT!

DM: Pat Jones is obviously not going to uphold a boxing match in this ring. If Willard continues throwing closed fists, he’s going to give Cruise what he wants.

DT: LOW BLOW! Cruise groggy. Grabs Willard and NICE belly to back suplex! Cruise pops up and raises his hands out to brag. He dives on top for the cover.

[Crowd boos.]



DT: Kickout! Cruise lifts Willard and irish whip to the corner. Cruise smiles, and charges for a shoulder tackle, but Willard moves! And Cruise’s shoulder strikes the ring post!

DM: Painful mistake for Cruise. Willard should look to capitalize on it!

DT: Willard charges and clotheslines Cruise up and over the top to the outside. He doesn’t let up, climbs outside and SHOVES Cruise shoulder first into the turnbuckle.

DM: Maybe people are finally realizing that Adrian Willard may not be the white knight we want him to be.

MN: I’m starting to like him.

[The crowd cheering cuts down considerably as Willard lifts Cruise and shoves him into the ring post a third time. Willard grabs Cruise and pushes him under the bottom rope back inside.]

DM: Willard’s methods here may seem unethical, but he saw a weakness and he’s exploiting it. Plus, it won’t let Cruise waste any more time in this match locking in that front face lock.

DT: Cruise backing up, and Willard is stalking his prey! Willard reaches down, but Cruise with a drop toe hold. He wraps his leg around Willard and he’s going for Cruise Control! He’s got the leg hooked!

DM: But Willard fighting off, Cruise can’t lock in the head cravat. That work on his shoulder really affected Cruise’s strength.

[Willard grabs the bottom rope and Cruise reluctantly lets go of the hold. Both men back off and reset.]

DM: We’re about eight minutes into this match. It’ll be interesting to see how these two change their strategies the closer we get to the time limit.

DT: Collar and elbow, Cruise into a side headlock, but he can’t keep the hold wrenched! Willard ducks down and drops Cruise in a German!



MN: Cruise kicks out! Phew. I’ve got fifty on this match. It’s either Cruise retains or I don’t have the internet for a month.

DT: Adrian grabs Cruise and lifts him… stall… stall… Vertical suplex drop!



MN: And another kick out! C’mon Cruise! You can do it!

DT: Cruise lifted to his feet by his arm, short arm shoulder block! And Cruise lets out a cry in pain!

[Cruise falls to the mat from the shoulder block and rolls out of the ring. He clutches his shoulder and looks back to the ring, before snarling.]

DT: Is Cruise… leaving?

MN: SMART! We have the smartest champion in EPW right there!

DM: Willard doesn’t have the time to waste! He slides out of the ring and charges toward Cruise! He grabs him from behind, but Cruise drop toe holds a charging Willard onto the concrete!

[Cruise smiles as he stands to his feet. He lets loose with a quick stomp to the back of Willard’s skull. And another. And another. Cruise grabs Willard and shoves him back first into the guard rail before cracking him with a stiff left to the jaw.]

DT: Cruise used his ploy to take advantage of a frustrated and steamed Willard. Cruise with an irish whip into the steel steps!

DM: Cruise is still favoring that shoulder. The whiplash from an irish whip on your shoulder can snap tendons if they aren’t fully healed.

[Willard using the ring apron to climb to his feet, slides in under the bottom rope. Cruise, feeling in control, re-enters the ring.]


DT: Five minutes, and Cruise with a drop kick to Willard’s knees. And a huge leg drop across the back of the Prophecy’s neck! Cruise lifts him up, hooks him in a side headlock!

DM: He’s going for the High Impact DDT! He lifts, but WILLARD slips out! Cruise eats the canvas back first by himself, and then eats a diving Willard’s elbow to his gut! Willard hobbles to his feet and strikes again! One more time, this time targeted to Cruise’s shoulder! And Adrian puts his elbow into Cruise’s disabled shoulder as he makes a pin.



DT: Yeah, There’s a reason Pat Jones is our Senior Official. He’ll no doubt catch something like that in a match like this.

DM: Willard showing the strategy of a veteran there putting pressure on Cameron’s injury even during a pin attempt, not letting him rest.

DT: Adrian lifting Cruise onto his shoulders. He charges, looking for a power slam, but Cameron ducks out the back, shoving him chest first into the turnbuckle. As Willard stumbles out, Cameron catches him with an uncharacteristic enzeguri!

DM: Cruise can’t use his plethora of strikes, chin locks and clotheslines. He has to adapt. And Cruise is able to do that because there’s no doubt he’s been in this position before.

DT: Cruise still favoring that shoulder. He painfully lifts Willard into the corner and uses his good shoulder to lift him and prop him on the top rope, seated. Cruise to the second rope… no.

DM: He can’t lift Willard at this point in a conventional way! He hooks him… HIGH IMPACT DDT! OFF THE SECOND ROPE! Willard is OUT! Cruise with the cover.

[Cruise drops onto Willard back first to comfortably brace his shoulder.]




MN: I say that line better.

DM: Cruise is growing frustrated. He tries to drag Willard out from the ropes to the center of the ring. It takes him a bit due to his bum shoulder.



DT: KICKOUT! And as he does, Cruise shoves him onto his stomach!

DM: Using the momentum of the kick out to shove Willard on his back. And now Cruise, he’s got Willard’s leg hooked! He’s going for the cravat to complete the STF, Cruise Control! AND IT’S LOCKED IN! CAMERON CRUISE HAS IT LOCKED IN!


DT: Willard’s fighting the head lock. He’s arching his back and trying to break out using sheer neck strength.

DM: That just makes the hold stronger, but lets Willard have a slim chance of escape. He’s pulling himself closer to the ropes with every stretch! And now he broke free! Cruise couldn’t hold in the neck clinch, and Willard uses this to get even closer to the ropes. Cruise quickly repositions and LOCKS the hold in again.

DT: But Willard is much closer to the ropes this time.


DM: Willard struggling, he’s pushing, fighting, and REACHES OUT TO THE BOTTOM ROPE!

[Ref Pat Jones begins his count. One. Willard reaches out and pulls himself closer to the ropes. Two. Three. Willard is now grabbing the second rope for leverage. Four. Five.]

DT: Cruise! He’s refusing to break Cruise Control! Willard is trying to fight to his feet using the ring ropes, but Cruise won’t let go for the life of him! He’s in danger of getting disqualified himself!

DM: But Willard, he’s broken the leg hook, and now Cruise only has the rear hook. Cruise is on Willard’s back, and Willard rams back first into the nearest turnbuckle! Cruise is groggy and set on the top rope, as Willard positions himself underneath. A quick strike doubles Cruise over so Willard has him in a samoan drop position.

DT: Willard’s stumbling to the middle of the ring. Cruise is fighting back with an elbow which takes Willard down to his knees.


DM: And Willard! BURST OF STRENGTH! FROM HIS KNEES, he pops up, and TOSSES Cameron Cruise!



DM: Willard, dives on top, hooks the leg!




[SFX: BELL RINGS: MUSIC UP : “Genesis” by Justice.]


DT: Adrian Willard has done it! With seconds to spare, he’s put his name into the record books. Folks! Our new Television champion! And he may be one of the most dangerous television champions in recent history!

MN: We’ll see how he does against anyone not named Cameron Cruise.

DT: Without a doubt! Whenever Cruise awakens, you can bet he’s going to call on his rematch.

[Adrian Willard recovers to his feet and is handed the EPW Television Championship by our Senior Official. The fans begin to cheer his accomplishment, as his eyes narrow. He holds the championship close to his chest, but does not raise it to the crowd. Without another word, he drops out of the ring, and begins his slow exhausted walk backstage. He tosses the belt over his shoulder, turns back to the run at the entrance curtain, and smiles. We fade out to the image of Adrian Willard, smiling, EPW TV title over his shoulder.]


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX
MAIN EVENT: Anarky (c) vs. Rich Mahogany

[CUE UP: “Love Man” by Otis Redding.]

[The fans have a decidedly mixed reaction as “the Ladies Man” Rich Mahogany struts out onto the stage in a matching suit vest and bow tie. He spends a moment to strike a pose for all the women watching at home before starting his way down the ramp, flashing a five-million dollar grin.]

TF: Ladies and gentlemen...the following match up is scheduled for one fall and is a non-title match with fifteen minute time limit. Introducing first... hailing from Austin, Texas... he weighs in two hundred and ten pounds of perfectly chiseled muscle and pure mojo... he is the LADIES MAN... RRRIIIIIIIICCHH MAAAHOOOGGAAANNNYYYYYYY!!!!

[CUE UP "More Human Than Human" by White Zombie as Anarky walks down the entrance way and stares a hole down directly through Rich Mahogany. Anarky runs in under the bottom rope and stares down Rich before taking off his championship belt and handing it to the referee]

TF: And his opponent, the current and reigning Worlds Heavyweight Champion, haaaaiiillliiinng from Hartford, Connecticut and weighing in at two hundred and thirty-one pounds, he is ANNNNNAAAARRRRRKKKKKYYYY!!!!!!!!!

DT: The Worlds Heavyweight Champion making it known to Rich this week that if he wants a chance to wrestle for the title that he has every opportunity to show his worth in the ring tonight.

[SFX: Bell rings]

MN: Like Anarky would actually give a title shot to a worthy competitor.

DM: Rich hasn't even wrestled more than ten matches in Empire, why in the lords name would Dan Ryan or Anarky give him a shot at a title.

MN: He beat Copycat, hows that for deserving, plus the ladies love him!

DT: Anarky circling with Rich, Rich flexing for the ladies and I think Anarky has had enough of arrogance of Rich and slams a forearm to the face of Mahogany! Rich stumbling and going for a forearm back at the champion, Anarky ducking under, back body drop from the champion as he puts a boot to the face of Mahogany!

DM: To try and exchange with Anarky is insane, the man is going to wreck you, you have to get set him up, then go for a move. Rich scurrying to the ropes and climbing under them.

MN: Smart man! Safe from Anarky under the ropes! Anarky dashing towards Rich, and the referee stopping him saying he has to wait till Rich is cleared.

DM: It may be a smart move but he has to get out before the ref count shim. Anarky is hovering waiting for him to clear. Rich pointing at Anarky and telling the ref he isn't leaving till Anarky is cleared away!

DT: Rich climbing out from under the ropes as the ref is telling Anarky to back up. The ladies man starting to get up and Anarky ambushes him! Another foreamr, and a knee, Rich against the ropes, Irish whip to the other side, a rebound, rich on his way back, BIG CLOTHESLINE FROM THE CHAMPION!
MN: Anarky with a cover...


MN: And the love machine kicks out! Anarky trying to get it done fast!

DM: Anarky is very versatile in his wrestling, it's not long before he gets in a rhythm. Anarky with boot to the gut, and grabs Rich by the hair to pick him up, EYE GAUGE BY RICH MAHOGANY!

MN: That's how you need to take advantage of Anarky! You have to use your strengths!

DT: Anarky grabbing his eye and the referee asking Rich what he did, but response from Rich but a nice pose for the ladies in the front row, Rich bouncing off the ropes, Anarky turning around, drop kick to the champion right to the jaw!

DM: Rich is spending way to much time posing than actual wrestling. He needs to focus on what is going on in the ring other than what is happening outside of the ring.

MN: If there were two hot blondes sitting in front of this announcing table you wouldn't focus either!

DT: Rich climbing the top rope, I think he is giving his telephone number out to a woman in the front. Anarky getting to his feet, Rich with a plancha dive!!!!

DM: NO! ANARKY CATCHES HIM! FALL AWAY SLAM FROM THE CHAMPION! And the champ is working his way to his feet. He is moving towards Rich, and a forearm to the back of Mahogany as he is trying to get to his feet.

MN:Oh, look at this Anarky is yelling at Rich to get up, this is the type of things that should be illegal.

DM: But a thumb to the eye is strategy?

MN: His hand slipped.

DT: Rich getting up by the help of Anarky, Anarky going for a whip to the other turnbuckle, no! He switches and short whips Rich to the near turnbuckle!

DM: Rich bouncing out and a belly to belly suplex delivered from the champion! Anarky taking this match back into control and Mahogany rolls out of the ring gripping his back.

MN: Anarky needs to stop making Rich go out of the ring, by default the count should be against Anarky!

DT: And the referee instructing Rich to get back in the ring as he paces around catching his breath.

REF: 1!

REF: 2!

REF: 3!

REF: 4!

DT: And Anarky has had enough and has rolled out of the ring in pursuit of The Ladies Man!

DM: He is literally chasing him on the outside...Mahogany slides back in the ring, Anarky after him, and a leg drop to the neck of the champion as he slides back in! Now a float over head lock! Anarky working to his feet!

MN: Rich Mahgony is really showing his skills here tonight, proving he is at the same league as Anarky.

DM: He has cheated the entire match! That isn't much skill there.

DT: Anarky working the grip here, and a headlock takeover from Rich as he poses once again for all the fans here in Charleston and at home.

DM: Anarky is starting to scoot himself to those ropes, Rich trying to keep that headlock in tight so he has better position here! Anarky gets his foot on the ropes! The ref telling Rich to let Anarky go and he is fuming!

MN: The Mojo Master is putting boots to Anarky, now picking him up, Anarky with a shot to the gut of Rich, and a forearm, Rich doubled over, Anarky getting up to his feet, uppercut to Mahogany who stumbles back. FLYING LARIART BY ANARKY! And both men are down again!

DM: Anarky will always have some strick up his sleeve. Anarky with a cover...1....2....and a kick out from The Ladies Man as Anarky works to his feet again. Rich working up slow as well.

DT: Rich could have had it done when he had Anarky with that headlock instead of showboating around. Rich to his feet, leg kick by Anarky followed by a toe kick to the gut. Whip to the ropes, Rich on the rebound, Anarky with a clothesline!

MN: No! Rich ducks under...swinging neck breaker from Rich Mahogany! And Rich is mounting the champion and throwing punches in his face!

DM: Referee is yelling at him to get off....and Rich is now choking Anarky with his forearm. Dirty moves from Rich here, he lets him go...now dragging Anarky to the ropes, he put his head on the second rope, and again using his knee to choke the champion with the ropes.

DT: Not only is this disrespectful but illegal as well!

MN: The difference is that Rich Mahogany makes it look damn good!

DT: Mahogany letting go of the champ. Anarky faintly standing up as he tries to get back oxygen....belly to back suplex from Rich Mahogany!

DM: And he goes for a cover!





DT: Rich Mahogany is not not happy with the count, he stands up, bounces off the ropes, baseball slide to the face of Anarky! And another cover!



DM: Another kick out by Anarky! And Rich is fuming!

DT: Rich grabbing Anarky by the head and setting his neck on the second rope. Rich climbing the turnbuckle he points to a girl in the front row then flexes, now blows her a kiss. LEAPING LEGDROP OFF THE TOP ROPE TO THE NECK OF ANARKY!

DM: NO ONE HOME!!!!!!! Rich Mahgony trying to decapitate the champion with a leg drop and hits nothing but the ring apron! Now he is laying on the outside!

MN: Poor guy isn't going to be able to sit for a week with that sort of injury!

DT: Anarky also laying down at the ref is back to counting Rich Mahogany.






MN: Rich getting to his feet and is holding his tailbone area.




DM: And Anarky rolls out of the ring again. The count is reset, Rich going for a punch to Anarky, blocked and a fist is returned, another attempt by Rich that results in a fist full of Anarky!

DT: Anarky grabbing Rich by the head...and he slams his head into the fan barrier! Now rolls Rich back in the ring again! Rich crawling towards the middle of the ring and to his feet. Anarky in the ring, Rich turning to Anarky another eye rake to the champion!

MN: Anarky is getting lucky every second of this match!About time Rich puts him back in his place! Rich running to the ropes slowly, bouncing off....ANARKY CATCHES HIM IN the REBOUND!!!!






DM: No! He is saying that Rich's foot was on the ropes! Another cover by the champ this time clearing the foot off the ropes!




MN: Rich get's his shoulder up in the last second! Anarky now catching his breath and uses the ropes to stand up, he grabs Rich to pull him up, knee to the gut....facebuster from Anarky!

DT: Quick chain wrestling from the champion, one move after another, that is what makes him the best in this industry! Anarky going against the cover and is taunting Rich to get up, he is calling for a Chaos breaker!

DM: Rich is barely getting his stuff together as he stands up, he is leaning against the ropes. He is getting his breath back and acting like he is out of it! Rich turning around Anarky with a boot to the gut...NO! Rich catches it! Inside leg trip and Rich grabs the other leg!

MN: He has Anarky spread eagle! HEAD BUT TO THE BABY MAKER OF ANARKY!

DT: And the ref is not happy with that he is telling Rich to back off Anarky and the next one is going to disqualify him! Rich saying he tripped and fell, he has decided to flex and dance to the women as Anarky is getting up very slowly.

DM: Rich turning his attention to Anarky, chop to the chest! Now a punch! Kick to the kut by Rich Mahogany!
DT: Rich setting Anarky for a suplex...HE HAS THE LEG HOOKED!!!! SEX-PLEX!!!!


DT: What a come back from the champ! Both men are down!




MN: Anarky is moving a bit faster than Rich, and is getting towards the turnbuckle! Someone stop him!



DT: Anarky getting up slowly, and he has Rich by the hair, Now lifting him up very slow from the canvas! Spins him around....CHAOS BREAKER! CHAOS BREAKER TO RICH MAHOGANY!

DM: Anarky going for the pin....wait a second! He has let him go and is looking down the ramp....DIS! DIS is walking down the ramp way and is pointing at Anarky, Anarky yelling back DIS!

MN: Someone get that lunatic out of here!

DT: Rich Mahogany is getting his barrings, Dis jumping on the ring apron Anarky charges the ropes...FOREARM TO THE FACE OF DIS! HE HAS KNOCKED HIM RIGHT OFF THE RING! Referee yelling at Dis to go backstage!


DT: He has his feet on the ropes as he is pinning Anarky!!

REF: 1



SFX: Bell rings!


MN: He did it! He beat Anarky!

DT: If it wasn't because of Dis I am sure things would have went differently, I think that things are about to escalate!

DM: I am sure they are! Dis costing Anarky the win and a cheap pin by Rich Mahogany, who knows what can happen next!


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX

We open to an empty locker room. The sounds of a shower in the background quickly cut out to silence. After a moment, Impulse turns the corner dripping wet with a towel around his waist. He reaches down into his duffle bag. Suddenly, he begins rifling through it furiously. He lifts his head and looks all around the room.

Impulse: Where the hell is it?

Impulse continues to pillage through the duffle bag when we see Steven Shane coming into the shot. He is wielding the Intercontinental Championship and has it cocked, ready to swing. Impulse hears a rustling and turns around into…

A near shot from the title. Shane holds up and places the title right against Impulse’s jaw.

Shane: Ironic, isn’t it? I mean, we’ve both been in this position, me more than you. And right now, this gold pressed up against your face is the only contact that’s been made. What say we do something to help us get past that?

Impulse has clearly had enough of Steven Shane tonight. He just continues to stare a hole through him without a retort.

Shane: How about at Russian Roulette we roll the dice and place this title ten feet above the ring? We’ll obviously need some sort of ladder to reach it though…

The crowd watching on the EmpireTron give out an audible cheer.

Shane: But I don’t think that a ladder match is enough…

How about the man who ascends the ladder first can use the belt to knock out his opponent to gain the victory? No more games, no more rule breaking. Everything is legal. A ladder in the middle of the ring. First man to score a pinfall wins. This way, I won’t feel bad about taking your title and leaving you staring at the arena lights.

Impulse just continues to stare at Shane. Finally, he breaks his silence after stepping nose to nose with Shane.

Impulse: And after this, you’ll go away?

Shane: Taking that title from you is all that I want.

Impulse: Okay. You can have your stipulation. But after EYE win, you’re done with your title chances from me.

Shane: One shot is all I need.

Shane taps Impulse’s jaw with the title once more before placing it in his hands. Impulse yanks the title away as Shane walks away with a smile. Impulse stares intensely as the camera fades out.


Sep 11, 1997
Katy, TX

[Dis in front of Charleston Coliseum]

Dis: There is no more time for voice alterations.

['His' voice is clearly unaltered and very familiar.]

Dis: No more time for nicknames at this point either.

I've been question far too many times about who I really am, that it's time to just come forward.

I told you Impulse that I would see you in more ways then one and trust me I have.

Anarky didn't see it coming.

Dan Ryan didn't see it coming.

In fact everyone on the Empire Pro roster, did not see this coming.

I am no savior to this company, I am it's destroyer.

Everyone has been fooled from the very start.

You wish now you would've kept your mouths shut.

Am I right?

[The camera zooms in a bit closer to Dis' face.]

Dis: No longer a need to hide behind this thing.

Come Russian Roulette, I'll have everything I've ever wanted in the same night.

Taking down Anarky to become World Champion and destroying DAN RYAN all over that arena.

You heard it right.

[He removes the mask to reveal himself. Yes it is Jason Reeves.]

Stalker: Welcome to my world.

[Jason lets out a manic laugh as we FADE TO COPYRIGHT.]

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