Somos....El Mexi-Cats.
PROUDLY PRESENTED IN SAP
CAMERA ON.
[
We are inside a ford fiesta putting in traffic at the Mexican border, hand held camera facing out the window. It turns to the side as we see none other than the famed, fat, pathetic luchador himself, El Gordo Grande! His voyage leading to the next venture in Empire Pro the King of the Cage. But what good would El Gordo be without the help of his camera man and sidekick, Pedro! The car struggles and is rattling, hurting for an oil change and other maintenance. He creeps forward that much closer to the border crossing check point then it's sweet ol' US of A.]
Pedro the Camera Guy: “¡Así, vamos a San Diego! Pienso que esto será una gran experiencia para usted especialmente después del total Ultra...”
(
So, we are going to San Diego! I think this will be a great experience for you especially after the whole Ultra...)
El Gordo Grande: “¿OYE QUE PEDRO!?”
(
YOU HEAR THAT PEDRO!?)
PTCG: “¿No.. qué es?”
(
No...what is it?)
[
He cups his hand next to his ear]
EGG: “¡Es el sonido de una nueva aventura, un nuevo día, un nuevo tiempo para mí subir para los niños de México!”
(
It's the sound of a new adventure, a new day, a new time for me to rise for the children of Mexico!)
PTGC: “¿No quiere usted hablar de Cero, Ultratitle, y ahora Rey de la Jaula?”
(
Don't you want to talk about Zero, Ultratitle, and now King of the Cage?)
EGG: “¡No. hago no Pedro, porque estamos en una conquista de la victoria, estilo de equipo de etiqueta!”
(
No. I don't Pedro, because we are in a conquest of victory, tag team style!)
PTCG: “¡Emociona bastante! ¡Tiene todavía uniforme decirme que su socio enmascarado célebre será que lo ayudará a derrotar a sus enemigos!”
(
It's pretty exciting! You have yet to even tell me who your famed masked partner will be that will help you defeat your foes!)
[
El Gordo puts up one finger then points it at the camera]
EGG: “¡Como dijo, estamos en una conquista de la victoria, estilo de equipo de etiqueta, Pedro!”
(
Like I said, we are in a conquest of victory, tag team style, Pedro!)
PTCG: “¿Espera. ..we es? ¡Lo que le hace significa nosotros los are?!”
(
Wait...we are? What do you mean we are?!)
EGG: “Yo no podría conseguir a un socio, tan. ...I le entró como mi socio. “
(
I couldn't get a partner, so....I entered you as my partner.)
PTCG: “¡Usted. ..entrado...MI?! ¡Yo no SE COMO LUCHAR! !!!”
(
You...entered..ME?! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WRESTLE!!!!)
EGG: ¡Por eso yo le entrenaré con mi poder y enchufaré y mis habilidades!
(
That's why I will train you with my might and power and my skills!)
[
The camera shakes furious in disapproval.]
PTCG: “¡Sus habilidades no le consiguieron por delante de la segunda serie de Ultratitle!”
(
Your skills didn't get you past the second round of Ultratitle!)
EGG: “Bah, nadie cuenta eso, el Ultimo torneo de título fue sólo un tiempo divertido para mí, esta vez yo tengo la cabeza en el juego.”
(
Bah, no one counts that, the Ultimate title tournament was just a fun time for me, this time I have my head in the game.)
PTCG: "Me moriré..."
(
I am going to die...)
EGG: "¡Usted no se morirá, estaré en su rincón que se asegura de usted los muestra que es jefe!"
(
You won't die, I will be in your corner making sure you show them who is boss!)
PTCG: "¿Quién es estamos enfrente de primero?"
(
Who are we facing first?)
EGG: "Nadie importante, nosotros debemos tomar bebé pasos, Pedro."
(
No one important, we need to take baby steps, Pedro.)
PTCG: "¿Quién es estamos enfrente de primero?"
(
Who are we facing first?)
EGG: “Debemos comer primero, reunimos nuestras mentes. ¡Nos empaqué alimento!
(
We must eat first, gather our minds. I packed us food!)
[
El Gordo reaches between them opening a lunch pale with numerous pieces of fried chicken, El Gordo picks up a drum stick taking a small bite]
PTCG: "¡QUIEN ES ESTAMOS ENFRENTE DE PRIMERO?"
(
WHO ARE WE FACING FIRST?!)
[
He talks softly under his breath]
EGG: "Larry Tact y Steven Shane."
(
Larry Tact and Steven Shane.)
PTCG: "Larry Tact. ..the Campeón anterior de Televisión....Steven Shane fue un campeón del equipo de etiqueta. ..I'm que va a morirse."
(
Larry Tact...the former Television Champion....Steven Shane was a tag team champion...I'm going to die.)
EGG: Usted no se morirá....(bite, chew, swallow)...Fíese de mí, aquí, entrenando día uno. Coma el seno.
(
You aren't going to die....(bite, chew, swallow)...trust me, here, training day one. Eat the breast.)
[
El Gordo points at a large fried chicken breast]
PTCG: ¡Yo no como pollo frito, que no tiene nada que ver con luchar o esta situación que usted me ha puesto en!
(
I am not eating fried chicken, that has nothing to do with wrestling or this situation you have put me in. )
EGG: “¿Piensa que conseguí este ataque, este muscular no entrenando? ¡Pedro, si quiere ganarle debe entrenar, y para entrenarle debe comer ese pollo!”
(
You think I got this fit, this muscular by not training? Pedro, if you want to win you need to train, and to train you need to eat that chicken!)
[
Camera scrolls over El Gordo and his protruding gut of a stomach.]
PTCG: “¡El pollo no tiene nada que ver con lucha!”
(
Chicken has nothing to do with wrestling!)
[
El Gordo reaches in for another piece of chicken, dropping the drum stick on the floor of the car]
EGG: Coma el seno, Pedro.
(
Eat the breast, Pedro.)
PTCG: “¡Usted me se inscribió para luchar profesionales, yo soy un chavo de cámara para la consideración de Cristo!”
(
You signed me up to wrestle professionals, I am a camera guy for Christ's sake!)
EGG: (
Bite) “Pedro...come el seno, Pedro. (
Chew)”
[
Bite](
Pedro...eat the breast, Pedro.) [
Chew]
PTCG: “¡Bien, comeré el seno!”
(
Fine, I will eat the breast!)
EGG: “¡El buen hombre, puede sentirse el poder ya, porque comemos pollos en el anillo y fuera!”
(
Good man, you can feel the power already, because we eat chickens in the ring and out!)
PTCG: “Realmente, esto es pollo bastante bueno.”
(
Actually, this is pretty good chicken.)
EGG: “Aprende rápido joven, Pedro. Una vez que nosotros llegamos a San Diego, nosotros golpearemos el anillo y empezaremos lucha su instrucción.”
(
You are learning fast young, Pedro. Once we get to San Diego, we will hit the ring and begin your wrestling training.)
PTCG: “¿Igualamos tenemos un nombre todavía?”
(
Do we even have a name yet?)
EGG: “¡Dígame, lo que es animal soy peligroso, astuto, rápido, y tengo garras mortales!”
(
Tell me, what is animal is dangerous, cunning, swift, and has deadly claws!)
PTCG: “Un tigre.”
(
A tiger.)
EGG: “Visto bueno. Eso es uno....”
(
Okay. That's one....)
PTCG: “Un león, los osos polares...”
(
A lion, polar bears...)
EGG: “¡Un gato Pedro, yo hablo del gato, que busca ratas!”
(
A cat Pedro, I am talking about the cat, who hunts down rats!)
PTCG: “¿Realmente? ¿Un gato?”
(
Really? A cat?)
[
He tosses his piece of chicken in the air with excitement]
EGG: “¡Porque este torneo es una febril competitividad de hoy en día!”
(
Because this tournament is a rat race!)
PTCG: “Yo no pienso que sabe lo que la febril competitividad de hoy en día de término significa, pero continúa.”
(
I don't think you know what the term rat race means, but continue.)
EGG: “Es una febril competitividad de hoy en día y nosotros somos los gatos, Pedro.”
(
It's a rat race and we are the cats, Pedro.)
[
Camera shakes disagreeing.]
PTCG: “Eso es una analogía terrible.”
(
That's a terrible analogy.)
EGG: “Somos....El Mexi-Cats.”
(
We are...the Mexi-CATS.)
CAMERA OFF