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AGGRESSION 74: HANDICAP MATCH: Boogie Smallz (c) v. The Wolves of the Sea

Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Jan 1, 2000
(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz sitting in a dark room with a single light hanging over his barely illuminating the area. Again, not appearing with the Intercontinental title that most champions would proudly display in their promos. Smallz stands with his arms folded and hand on his chin, as if in deep thought.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: I see what’s goin’ on here. This passive aggressive bullshit to try and teach me some sort of lesson. I get where you’re comin’ from.

Hmmm…Boogie Smallz won’t cooperate, so let’s fuck with him. Let’s throw him into a match against two people. But not a triangle match…no…a handicap match…where he risks bein’ double-teamed and possibly, if we get lucky, severely injured from this contest.

I can’t say that I blame you. Maybe if the shoe was on the other foot, I would try to rationalize this decision too. I don’t know if it was Freedman or Dan Ryan himself pullin’ the strings behind this match-up…but let me ask you this…what happens when your plan goes awry? What do you do after I smoke these two fools, brush my shoulders off, and keep on keepin’ on by holding this company over a barrel?

Do you think a two on one match is really the best route to take? Look at what I have done in the past few months. It was basically two on one that I faced in the King of the Cage against Rezin and Anarky…and I think I faired pretty well there. Then at Unleashed, it was four on one…and if I recall…I came out pretty good in that match too.

The Wolves of the Sea? Your hired assassins to try to get me in line are the Wolves of the muthafuckin’ Sea?

Forgive me for not playin’ the role of the cowerin’ villain about to get put in his place…but if you want to strike fear in my heart…ya best come up with somethin’ better than that. And even then, I will probably still laugh in your face.

What perplexes me and causes me a lot of confusion…is that fact that this bout is bein’ billed as a Handicap Match. Well don’t worry yourself for me…don’t shed any tears because the insurmountable odds continue to get heaped on with my struggle for a fair deal with this organization.

The only handicap involved in this match is what will become of the two schmucks you got squarin’ off against me at Aggression.

Syd Morgan and Jameson Murdock will be livin’ the easy life after this match.

The place card on the dashboard that will open up the best parking spots every where they go.

The extra large bathroom stalls to relieve their catheters after I bust their internal organs up so much that their bodily functions begin to shutdown and have a mind of their own.

No more steps to climb, but easy access ramps to roll their wheelchairs up at whatever building they so desire.

See…I try to look at the bright side of a shitty situation for them. Because on one hand…their lives may be forever changed by the sheer brutality I lay down in that ring. And on the other hand…hopefully if they stockpiled any buried treasure somewhere, they can retire early and look forward to a life of wenches and ale…all while dealin’ with the uncomfortable pain of debilitating injuries that I dish out.

I guess anyway you see it…it’s a lose-lose situation.

Look at it this way…maybe now they can wear a legit eye patch and peg leg to add more authenticity to their pirate lovin’ lifestyles. But fellas…ya gotsta’ supply your own parrot.

(Boogie rolls his neck and his shoulders before continuing.)

Doubt it all you want. Swear up and down it won’t happen. But in the end…ya best…


(FADE TO BLACK as Smallz looks on with a menacing scowl on his face.)


New member
Nov 16, 2003
Nottingham, England
[FADE IN to the Wolves of the Sea standing in front of an Aggression backdrop with Kenny Lombardo holding the microphone]

KL: Kenny Lombardo here with the Wolves of the Sea. Syd, Jameson, since your loss to Animezing Dragons in the Kings of the Cage, people have had a lot of expectations of you which you’ve not lived up to so far. At Aggression you lost to Point of View, and next you’re going two on one against Boogie Smallz

[Jameson grabs the mic, passing it over to Syd]

SM: Fer all we’ve said we’ve made nary a ripple in the waters of the Empire, an’ it seems fer our sins we’ve been given a handicap match as a way tae try an’ embarrass us by havin’ the so-called traitorous Boogie Smallz beat the both of us at the same time. Or embarrass us by havin’ it so it takes two of us tae beat him.

JM: Pathetic!

SM: Us, them, or him?

JM: Them, if that’s what they’re thinkin’!

SM: Aye.

JM: How could two pirates be embarrassed abou’ takin’ a man on two tae one? We’ve fought aboard an enemy ship where yer life depends on yer skill an’ tha’ o’ yer shipmates! There be bigger beasts an’ there be bigger men an’ in those times yae need the best shipmates by yer side.

SM: Couldn’t’ae said it better meself, lad.

[Syd thrusts the mic back in Kenny’s chest. The interviewer looks perplexed but maintains his professionalism]

KL: Granted. But come on, this is pro wrestling.

JM: An’ yer point is, lan’lubber?

KL: It’s not the same as fighting on a ship, or in a car park, or wherever.

SM: Neigh, it ain’t, yer right. It’s not as difficult as fighting aboard a ship in rough seas. Well, fer lan’lubbers. Maybe we’ve spent too long aboard ship between matches. You ever been months at sea, lad?

[Kenny shakes his head]

SM: Then ye don’t ken how yer legs get used tae the roll of the ship.

JM: That’s why I look drunk when I come ashore!

SM: Jameson, matey, that’s all the ale, mead an’ rum ye drink.

JM: Oh yeah…

SM: But Jameson’s partly right. When ye hit rough seas, ye’d be thrown about, but we’re so used tae it we keep out balance. When the ground isn’t movin’ beneath yer feet, things get easy fer ye, but perhaps harder for us than we’d thought.

That’s why our Cap’n in his wisdom has said, stay ashore a while. Get yer land legs back. We were born aboard ships. We’ve struck hidden reefs, landed on desert isles, fought vicious sea beasts an’ braved raging storms, but the ways o’ the lan’bound, they be foreign tae us.

JM: Except the wenches and the drinking.

SM: Aye, we’re good at that. An’ we’re getting our land legs.

KL: How is that going to help you with Boogie Smallz?

SM: That blowhard?

KL: I know he’s saying he’s going to leave you two hurt, injured, possibly retired, and he’s the kind of guy who could do it.

SM: Hardly! What is it tha’ Dragon fella says, we’ll be back the next match, Boogie cannae hurt us tha’ badly.

JM: It’s a stupid thing tae say, we’ve heard it loads of times even here in the Empire and while we may not have made much o’ a ripple we’ve taken fireballs, crashed through tables, and come back. We’ve had rougher times at sea than Boogie could hope tae gi’ us.

SM: Or p’haps he hopes tae talk us tae death.

KL: Huh?

SM: Pirates we may be, stupid we’re not, sell swords we ain’t

JM: An’ patient we ain’t!

SM: Neigh!

JM: If ye have a problem wi’ someone, Boogie, don’t keep talkin’, do somethin’ abou’ it. Go up tae Dan Ryan hi’self an’ fight it out wi’ him like a man, an’ if he says neigh, ye don’t take it fer an answer!

SM: What are ye, Boogie, yellow?

KL: You two might regret saying that…

JM: WE REGRET NOTHING!! When ye’ve seen lads ye’ve known yer entire life dragged overboard and sucked down intae the murky waters on the Atlantic in a storm, when ye’ve been riddled with fever an’ pox and close tae death leagues from land and a doctor, ye regret nothin’ an’ ye fear even less, so why would we ever fear a man as yellow an’ cowardly as Boogie Smallz?

SM: Aye, the two of us are gonnae challenge him, aye we’re gonna survive in tact, an’ aye, we’re gonnae take another long, long drink from the barrel o’ battle, until we’ve quenched the thirst o’ our Cap’n, taken our revenge against any who oppose us!

JM: That’s one of the ways of the sea. In defeat, malice, in victory, revenge, an’ we’ve had a lot o’ defeats tae get us more and more maliced.

SM: Maliced?

JM: Maliced!

KL: Maliced?


KL: OK, well, good luck at Aggression, guys, I still think you’re going to

SM: If ye value yer treasure, matey, I wouldn’t’ae say what I ken yer thinkin’ o’ saying.


What on earth does my name have to do with that sentence?

[Syd and Jameson look puzzled at each other]

SM: He doesn’ae ken what we’re saying?

JM: Do lan’lubbers no speak English?

SM: I guess they donnae teach ‘em.

JM: Ye ken, ye may be right.

KL: Forget I asked. This is Kenny Lombardo, and I don’t know what they’re on about…

[Kenny leaves]

SM: He doesn’t’ae ken what we’re saying!!

JM: I guess we better add tha’ to the list o’ things tae get maliced about.

SM: That’s no even a word!


SM: Hold it, laddie… donnae forget, Boogie Smallz, the yellow livered coward who’s blowin’ hot air intae the wind and is gonnae come up a wee bit short o’ land when he faces of against US!

JM: Aye! The Wolves of the Sea!


Mad Dog

Original Gangsta
Jan 1, 2000
(FADEIN to Boogie Smallz looking at a monitor and watching the interview Kenny Lombardo had with the Wolves of the Sea. As the clip ends, Boogie shakes his head and lets out a sigh. Smallz looks into the camera to address his opponents.)

BOOGIE SMALLZ: Real funny. You two are pure gold when it comes to this craft. Maybe I should second guess myself, come out here, and apologize for the threats I made against you.

But no…that ain’t gonna happen. So carry on makin’ your little pirate jokes. Convince yourselves that you truly have the upper hand in this match…because mathematically you do. Two is greater than one…shit, most kids learn that in first grade.

Unlike simple math, there are other factors involved with this equation that just don’t add up like two bein’ greater than one. You must also account for the fact that you have double the odds of fuckin’ up and havin’ me capitalize on your mistakes. Not to mention that I ain’t no slouch…and have proven myself on a few occasions as bein’ more than capable of defyin’ any odds against me.

As for your hurtful words that you spewed at me. (Shakes his head.) Ouch…man does that sting.

Callin’ me a blowhard? I haven’t heard that phrase since…since…well…since I was talkin’ to your mama’s. Those dumb whores always workin’ the shaft…ignorin’ the balls...stupid bitches.

But enough about that. When you two popped out of the womb, I breathed a sigh of relief and danced a jig like I was on the set of Maury Povich…when I found out, indeed…that I was not the father.

All kiddin’ aside…or am I? (Smirks.) You two seem to have this idea in your head that I am a coward and that if you were in my shoes…you would just step up to Dan Ryan and handle biz.

Well if you ain’t noticed…I have been callin’ Daniel out quite a bit…and for some reason he continues to hide.

Hide behind his office door. Hide behind his security. And now, of all things, hidin’ behind Gary Freedman because he doesn’t want to face me like a man.

Truth be told, he has tried to throw everything he could think of at me. Like a volleyball player, everything he sets up to go over the net…I’m there waitin’ to spike it right in his fuckin’ face.

The fact that he has handled all of the contract negotiations himself, up until I was in line to receive my deal, seems a tad bit out of the ordinary for how he has conducted business in EPW thus far.

Maybe he doesn’t want to hear me gloat? Maybe he is too busy tryin’ to rebuild his dead career and add more titles to his resume? Whatever the reason, he wants absolutely nothin’ to do with me. And as long as he continues to act that way, ya best believe I will take all the shots I can in attackin’ his character.

It ain’t no different than what he has been doin’ to me. Low ballin’ on money. Tryin’ to stack the deck against me in just about every match I’m signed up for. He has his tactics…I have mine.

I mean…really…what is he gonna do? He can’t strip me of the Intercontinental title…on what grounds would he have to do that? I am well within my rights of speakin’ my mind and forcin’ the issue. And as far as my actions in the ring…it’s no different than what half of the EPW roster does.

Wolves of the Sea…you two are just victims of circumstance. Wrong place…wrong time. You are bein’ used right now and are just too dumb and gullible to realize it. But give it a few years. It took me a while to figure out the ins and outs of this industry before I wised up. Maybe one day, things will click inside those dense heads of yours.

If not…then it really makes no difference to me. It’s your life. I just refuse to continue to be exploited and abused by money hungry douchebags that want to capitalize on my talents and not give me what I am owed for doin’ so.

Jameson…Syd…the worst thing you did for yourselves was open your mouths and try to label me a coward. You shoulda’ just kept your mouths shut, walked into that ring, and take the beatin’ I had planned for you. Now things are different…I’m not only annoyed by your words…but you got me angry now!

Did you want my attention? Probably not…you got it now…and even though you outnumber me…I would hate to be in your boots at Aggression.

(Grits his teeth.)



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